Friday, September 2

Body: Tired. Exhausted. A mess. 

Brain: A fucking mess. Crying in the stall most of the day. Hating everyone because they were talking (the horror!) near me and I couldn't focus and I was overwhelmed by how much work I had to do and fearing weekend work and feeling both sorry for and angry at myself and enjoyed a tiny silent escape to the bank and a brief visit from BB & GP and a lovely lunch with Shannon and ear plugs and pets at home - but mostly I was a fucking mess. 

Reasons I have pinpointed: 
•No proper weekend PLUS not enough sleep during it. Solution: No more workshops? No more tests? Shouldn't have invited Amy (the only highlight of the weekend)?
•Week of poor sleep. Solution: Benadryl every night. 
•Allergies. Solution: Benadryl every night.
•Not enough downtime during week. Solution: Do not run with Ann every night. 
•Feeling abandoned by a certain someone. Solution: say something or get the fuck over it. 
•Terrible horrible no good very bad self-talk. Solution: go through the anxiety workbook exercises, and if things don't get better, go to the doctor and get some drugs. 
•Worrying about drug side effects. Solution: fucking stop. Cross with that bridge when it's reached. 
•Hating myself for being a bitchy coworker today. Solution: apologize. 
•Hating myself for being stupid, weak, scared, paranoid, raw, me, etc. Solution: (?)

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