Tuesday, May 31

Body: Tired & achey, nothing specific, just fatigue-y. Session went better than I expected, with squats continuing to feel quite good, and pulls going up, PR even (a kippy PR, so one I'm not super proud of). Was very near to terrible self-talk (tears) with a failed 125x3 on bench, and had to put full trust in Chief when he declared 135x1 doable anyway, and he was right. Thankful I was able to shut down the CIV for once. Eve Couch to 5k was fun, again ran with Tim who must be in his 60s or so, but is running 10:00 miles without much effort, and doing it in a tee & khaki-type pants every time. So cool.

Brain: Great at NSS all morning, very productive, pulling together our big RFL fundraising project and various month-end things; feeling the possibilities of being overwhelmed but always able to shut it down and just take the to-do list one item at a time. In the afternoon I felt pretty depleted, after lunch with a friend left me feeling rotten about myself & our friendship (the entire lunch felt like I was an obligation, a waste of time). That transferred to feeling physically drained, and by the evening I was in tears. I am so struggling with the barrage of life busyness, another precious bestie moving far away, physical depletion, financial & job worries, and friends who hurt me by turning out to be shitty friends. It is too much at once for my already-low-capacity stress bucket. And even though I know a breakdown always leads to a load of physical stress that adds more mental stress, I was helpless to prevent it.

No comments:

Post a Comment