Saturday, February 20

Body: Woke at 3a or so, but didn't need to get up. DID get a cat claw in my nose, though, as Oscar reached out to give me a tap on the face but for some awful reason did so with his claws out. JERK! Then Hanky began whining and prancing at an unholy 445a. I decided to throw his ass out and crawl back into bed, but on my way to let him out, I tripped on hubs' boots, swore enough to make a sailor blush, and was firmly, angrily awake. NOT PLEASED about the low sleep (7 hours) that I blame on the huz. Fact: EVERY MALE IN MY HOUSE SUCKS TODAY.

Had planned to join the candlelight hike out at LCSP with hubs & pooches after work, but as usual, I arrived home drained and wanting only my spot on the couch.

Brain: Okay, well, up too damn early, extremely cranky (took all the coffee with me, sorrynotsorry, hubs), and thus at work early (630a), but declaring my 100% intention to also leave work early, as I drovein. And then I got there...and wanted to cry at the immense pile of work.

A helpful coworker laughingly said they want to try to get me there full-time - I laughed much harder at that than at anything else this morning. Not for even six figures would I leave NSS! NO WAY. I like the people there very much, and I like the work, but it constantly overwhelms me. I have already been wondering if I can handle many more tax seasons...my brain is just too weak, it seems, and what is the point of hating life 25% of the time? It's the only one I have, I'm not going to hate it that much. NO FUCKING WAY.

Made it through the pile I needed to move today, and it only took me 10.2 hours. That means I did NOT leave early, and I arrived home 12 hours after I left, which for me means: I have nothing left to give. I ate supper, I read a bit with the cat in my lap, and then hubs & I watched a movie that went too late. It's all I had.

But it was still a much better day than where I was a week ago. Depression is slowly lifting.

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