Wednesday, November 4

Nutrition: Having "Wanna eat my fists off" hunger/cravings today. At lunch I was very seriously considering going to the grocery store to see if they have my chips because I needed wanted something to gnaw on. I stayed put, yay me! Mostly husbandly stress, but also time-change tiredness. I did get chips in the eve, but only after putting my brain back on straight, so I only ate half a bag, yay me! And only half a pint of AZ, yay me x3!
  • 2 Larabars
  • smoked almonds
  • olive oil potato chips
  • grilled cheeze
  • half pint AZ 
  • Emergen-C x2

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 90% quality. Took a while to fall asleep due to monkey mind. Up early due to dogs. Tired all damned day.

Healthy Movement: Cold is a little worse, though still not too bad. Don't know whether it's just coming on this slowly, or if perhaps the body is fighting it back that effectively? Hopefully the latter. Feeling the squats immediately in the morning, but didn't get too stiff; sat all day at DBB, might have helped. Ran four miles without pain. Like basically nothing. And stretched the bad spots (both sides) immediately afterward, and it was a marked improvement even from where they were this summer before the right one went to complete hell.

Somehow I forgot to mention yesterday: the entire body felt different in my warm-up, like everything was moving more easily, grooves were greased and smooth, WD40 had filled my joints; apparently I've been a little jacked-up all over (also: jacked all over, tee hee!) without fully realizing it. The improvement felt amazing. Healthy. Strong. Lovely.

Fun & Play: Chitchat with BK, Friday lunch plans made with LT, lazy "sittin' down day" at DBB. FB silliness. Running without pain on a gloriously warm November eve. BK letting me in, despite my worried expectation that he would shut me out. Silly pooches, bossy Oscar, and cuddles with Clyde.

Stress Management: Hubs who says he's quitting his job. Today. Now. No notice. WTF? This shit is not okay. I convinced him he needs to give a two-week notice and find a new job in the meantime, not allowed to be a loser who walks off jobs and burns bridges like that, but it pissed me off, like completely ruined my day. I wanted to simultaneously smash him to bits, eat my weight in potato chips, disappear down a deer path at LCSP, and curl up in bed with a blanket over my head. So frustrating, especially when it came just as I finally dug myself out of a deep hole of self-pity and started to feel good physically for the first time in so long. 

Oh, AND THEN one of the two people I turned to for help today (BK) received really shitty news. So then he also hit a major low today, and I tried to talk him off the ledge. (After doing the same with the hubs. Why my men so needy today? I can't carry them! I'm barely strong enough to carry me!) I gave him the option to cancel our run, but he kept it, which surprised me. In person, he was doing a little better than I expected. I delivered equal doses of hugs & swears. I tried to measure out some positivity, but it was hard to find much to say, because I don't feed him bullshit. A chickadee would've received so much Pollyanna positivity, but boys be different, and this one especially so. I gave him full support, though, and I suppose that's the best I could do.

Now I shall continue to worry about both of these boys and their tender hearts and heavy burdens, and yet I must not try to carry their burdens for them. My job is to give love and support, help encourage them in their own strength. I hope I can remember this.

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