Sunday, October 11

  • rice (oh, and last night as well)
  • 2 Larabars
  • rice noodles

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a, 86% quality. Napped when I got home, with the pets, around 3-4p. Not great.

Healthy Movement: Morning walk was the powerlines section, but without the powerlines, as I just didn't have time to traverse them and also finish when the boys finished. Core was feeling just tight enough to make running too scary to try. Hours in vehicle followed by laziness at home.

Fun & Play: Gorgeous silent forest. Sitting on a rock in the middle of a wee stream, listening to it quietly burble and gurgle and trickle along, merrily sharing the wonders of the world with me. Many pictures. Ice bath in the lake with Mike. Lunch on the deck, enjoying the sunshine. Happy pets at home. Nap time.

Stress Management: While I sat on a rock in the middle of a wee stream, I thought about my distant, removed, missing bestie, who keeps hurting my tender feelings with dismissal & absence. Decided that on the continuum of naviete and suspicion, I'd rather be a Pollyanna. I'd rather be the sort of person who continues to believe in her friend, trusting that any shitty treatment is merely temporary, having faith that a friend will revert back to the person I love, because that is who they truly are.

I don't want to be the sort of person who writes off shitty-acting friends as changed and no longer lovable, wasted time, moving along...forgetting that once upon a time, there was something more than worthwhile there. (I mean, within reason; if someone is being outright cruel or the like, fuck them.)

I think this is a good life decision. I want to be the sort of friend that my beloveds can always count on, even if they drift away, take me for granted, forget about me for a while, etc. It's life, and I suppose I can't be the center of everyone's world, and I will do my best to stop taking it personally. I shall trust that they will come back around to being the person I believe they are.

But again: outright assholes can fuck right the fuck off. I ain't an idiot.

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