Thursday, September 24

Nutrition: Elden's now has FOUR flavors of Arctic Zero. And cheezecake!
  • 2 Larabars
  • pint AZ

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 9p-515a, 79% quality.

Healthy Movement: Core still painful, had to adjust session. Dustin commended me on holding my shit together, but I made it clear that I most certainly am not doing so, only managing myself in public. I'm most definitely falling apart, more so as the T&S nears and my likelihood of going shrinks & shrinks, which absolutely slices me in half, thoroughly guts me.

Fun & Play: A day at NSS. A fun session o' smartassery. Fake ice cream & cheesecake! Silent house, though that's also a problem. See: overthinking.

Temperance: When a supposed bestie announces a move to the Cities on Facebook, and you had no prior/separate notice? You're going to feel like shit. Like I did all day. I tried & I tried to remind myself that "Nothing others do is because of you" but it made two besties in one month who announce major life changes...and I found out after the fact, along with the masses, like I was a nobody. That hurts, deeply. After alternating between rage and grief and hate (not-running maximizes emotions, you dig?) all day, I caved and dropped a text, and learned it's officially happening, but there's no date set yet. But his tone (via text, I know) was dismissive of my hurt feelings, and so that hurt, too. I'm just an overly-sensitive mess, on every level, and I'm aware of it, but I can't get myself dug out.

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