Monday, September 28

Nutrition: Trying to dig up some willpower to work through a long phase of food testing. Like, really & truly figure out all of my sensitivities. Can I have oats? Can I have rice? Can I have all dairy without casein, or literally just whey? The problem is, anything I can't have means two weeks of hating my face, and waiting for it to clear up again, before testing the next thing.

So (a) depression central, but even if I keep my mind through it, then (b) it's a loooong timeframe to do this. Like in 6 months, if I reacted to each thing I tried, that would mean I managed to test all of 12 foods. (And hated my face for all of that time.)

And my biggest problem is that I still regularly react (to something; I usually attribute it to sugar), so I can and will have false positives (reactions) that aren't actually to the food I try but to scooting past my sugar limit. So that means being absolutely adamant about avoiding sugar beyond my two Larabars. That sounds doable in theory, but I know it will feel impossible. On the other hand, if I am getting to add new foods, that's new calorie sources, and I wouldn't have to rely as much on those Larabars.

Setting aside the emotional rollercoaster of hating my face, unfairness of it all, etc, it means a lot of analyzing & detailed planning & decision-making, which is usually right up my alley, but which I've BEEN doing every motherfucking day for five years, and have become completely exhausted by, to the point that it's just easier to avoid everything, even though that's decidedly not easy.

I would need the right mindset to tackle this. I'm not there yet, but I want to be.

  • 2 Larabars
  • carrot cake muffin (high sugar)

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 930p-515a, 83% quality. In late because I got some hubs time - rare!

Healthy Movement: Core feels the same. Hurts on some steps, hurts if I stretch it. Legs got pretty stiff again; now I'm wondering if the DBB-related stiffness is less about non-movement (since I felt it even before lunch, which is when NSS movement takes place) and more about being the day after squats (at home on Sunday to cause Monday/DBB soreness, and at NSS on Tuesday to cause Wednesday/DBB soreness). Correlation is not causation, as they say!

Fun & Play: Fun project at DBB. Fun chitchat with coworker. Using PT time to watch YouTube funnies. Reading with a snuggly Hank.

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