Tuesday, May 19

Nutrition: My face is breaking out quite a bit. Pizzas? Too much sugar? Dining out?
  • LB count today: only 2! But...
  • INBar (chocolate, & blech)
  • Kind Strong bar
  • No veggies besides Slawsa

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 88% quality. Solid as a rock, but got up tired.

Healthy Movement: Body actually feels good. Session was solid. Nothing special, but nothing disappointing. Hip markedly better. Shoulder improved. Did PT moves before class. Walk to run felt great, but I couldn't go get my own run afterward, as we had an LAE planning meeting that I'd spaced.

Fun & Play: Writing. Session. Solo Dustin time. Chitchat w/ coworkers, and w/ Timmy. A card from my BB. W2R. My ROUS beloveds. Tiny bit of hubs time.

Stress Management: Brain is so tired. I am so motherfucking ready to CHECK OUT from job #1, but so incapable. I really & truly want to change my date to, oh, TODAY, but I don't want to walk away leaving a disaster for my people. (I don't even know how they can make the time to learn things from me, much less do it when I'm gone, and I know it's not my problem, but I am STRESSING OUT ABOUT IT because I really & truly care about them.) But I really & truly want to get over to jobs #2 & #3 and be able to do the things I love doing.

Team Training (begins tomorrow for me) is stressing me out. Lead 20 people, in CJ's program, in a way that NSS wants me to, without any specific coaching besides what I've observed? Gulp.

Seems the hubs is doubting me again. I can't take it, I can't take it, I abso-fucking-lutely CAN'T take another round of that. No. To fix things, I need more hubs time. I don't have it to give.

Trying to fit it all in is exhausting me. Here's my tentative schedule for the next 6 weeks:
  • Monday: 615a teach my usual class; work until 430p, with a lunch break to run (hills); coach team training at NSS = 10.75 hours work, .5 hour workout
  • Tuesday: work ~630a-420p, with a lunch break to lift; teach my usual class; coach walk to run; run 30 minutes (fast/roads) = 9.25 hours work, 2 hours workout
  • Wednesday: 615a teach my usual class; work until 430p, with a lunch break to run (sprints); coach team training at NSS = 10.75 hours work, .5 hour workout
  • Thursday: work ~630a-420p, with a lunch break to lift; teach my usual class; coach walk to run; run 30 minutes (fast/roads) = 9.25 hours work, 2 hours workout
  • Friday: work ~630a-1230p at TS; work at NSS until ~6p (my one full rest day) = 11.5 hours work, 0 hours workout
  • Saturday: 7a coach walk to run; get my own (long/trail) run in; home chores & family time & laziness = 0 hours work, 1.5+ hours workout
  • Sunday: basement lifting; possibly a lap at LCSP; home chores & family time & laziness = 0 hours work, 1.5-2.5 hours workout
  • =51.5 hours work, 8-9+ hours workout (until long runs actually get long)
I have plenty of open weekend time...but my weekdays are brutal. Leave home at 6am, return (hopefully) by 7pm? KILLING. ME.

And yet, I will not die. I can do this. I will do this. The things I am committing to are VERY bucket-filling (other than job #1, obvi), and will rejuvenate me.

I shall channel the amazing Tina Fey:


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