Tuesday, April 14

  • 5-eggs, side pork, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 830-LB
  • 11-apple, olives, meat stick
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 2-pork roast, toast, chia bootch
  • (3-blood donation)
  • 345-raisins
  • 6-raw veg w/ guac, pork roast, toast

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 930p-5as, 66% quality. More like 86%, it felt restful. In late due to the late run, up right on time thanks to Hankypank. I did wake up h/s/g at 3a, but I just threw off the cover and fell right back.

Healthy Movement: Lower legs a bit tight from the run in super minimalist shoes, upper back tight from I have no idea what, all else feels good. Session was adequate, nothing special. Steve & Dustin gave me crap about being disappointed in 16 pulls, but I've been stuck there for FIVE MONTHS, damn right I'm going to be frustrated! Left shoulder is still crank, could feel it on bench, rotten little motherfucker. Class warm-up in PM again felt amazing; I didn't realize I'd been feeling so many little aches & pains & tightnesses & fatigues (yes I'm pluralizing that, shut up), but now that they're all gone, I'm like WHOA, THIS IS AWESOME! It won't last, I'm sure - the trails, they are singing my name so sweetly. Girls' night with HH tomorrow is going to be most lovely!

Fun & Play: Saw the hubs this morning! Crisp little sunrise jaunt to haul out the garbage. Coworker chitchat. More FB silliness. Session. Chitchat with my BB & MB, BK, HH. Blood donation, where one nurse was the girlfriend of a buddy, cool! We had silly fun there, competing over who donated fastest. Had a small but delightful class, starting to see some great progression in one of my attendees! Silent night at home that included fetch and refilling Lexi's pool, to make her the happiest creature alive.

Stress Management: Felt like I am abandoning my team in a meeting this morning. Feeling guilty that chasing my dream job means hurting them. But, that's why I gave a super long notice. I'm doing everything I can to ease the pain, am I not? So why isn't my position posted, why are we not making progress? Or are we? My people need something to hope for, please please please.

And then? Another company-wide work crisis. It feels like another nail in the coffin. I wanted to cry, feeling such fear for the future of the place - not for me, but for all of my peeps. I want them to have a future there, even if I don't. Failure is not what I hope for, at all. But it is not my job to save it, I cannot and must not shoulder it. All I can do...is all I can do.

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