Tuesday, March 31

  • 230a-half Larabar
  • 545-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM, half LB
  • 10-Larabar
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 115-pork jerky, apple, LB 
  • 4-banana
  • 630-raw veg w/ guac, grilled cheeze, half bootch

Sleep: 9 hours (!) in bed, 830p-530a, 83% quality. Woke at 230a h/s/g, got up for bathroom & water & half a Larabar, otherwise solid. Woke naturally. Glad I went to bed so early, as I got up feeling quite good.

Healthy Movement: Body feels fine. Slight tightness in left core. Session went okay, probably should consider it to be stellar given my stress level, but of course any backsliding angers me. Low back tightened up throughout the day, to VERY tight by supper. Ugh. Hi, stress! Did just a few extra bonus pulls during class and at home, but they didn't come easily today so I didn't push. I trust that in two little weeks, after tax season and after the massive cheerleading fun of Zumbro, I will return to feeling like I can conquer the world. Looking forward to it!

Fun & Play: Caribou for me & for Timmy. Session. Convo done: relief. Snippets of chitchat with BB & BK & LT. Class with Rose. Fetch outside in the sunshine. Silence and time to just be, with my kitteh Clyde snuggling up every chance he had.

Stress Management: First thing this morning, my awful convo was rescheduled to later. BLARGH. So I spent much of another day feeling knotted up, especially tough after a team discussion of this year's goals. But my convo with TC went well, and she seemed very grateful for the long notice. We informed one of my direct reports who I'm a bit concerned is close to quitting himself, and then I will tell the rest tomorrow, after her lead is informed. So I still have some difficult conversations to face, but I think each one will get a little easier, because each one brings me closer to what I want, what I really really want (couldn't resist).

Monday, March 30

  • 5a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-LB
  • 945-apple w/ homemade CB
  • 1030-fruit
  • 1230p-chicken & pork w/ mustard, toast, LB
  • 345-LB 
  • (515-trails)
  • 630-Renola
  • 7-raw veg w/ guac, pork & chicken

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 82% quality. CLYDE woke me this morning at 420a or so, banging open the door on the bathroom sink like a jackass, but I managed to keep dozing and woke up to fresh-brewed coffee. FINALLY a solid night of sleep. Thankful: going to need it for this day.

Healthy Movement: Body feels pretty damned good, finally feeling rested. Went LCSP-ing solo, and as a run, it was a disaster, but as a nature outing, it was lovely. Helped the brain.

Fun & Play: Class! Lunch with my BB. LCSP. Quiet house. Hubs time.

Stress Management: Pretty much felt ill all day, thinking about talking to TC, but couldn't catch her free. Had to schedule it, finally, to tomorrow at 9a. Deep breaths.

Sunday, March 29

  • 6a-fried eggs sandwich w/ Slawsa & cheeze, coffee w/ CM
  • 845-apple w/ SB
  • 1-pork, chicken, broccoli & bacon salad, raw veg w/ guac, bootch
  • 3-raw veg w/ guac
  • 6-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, apple w/ SB

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 88% quality. Woke briefly around midnight but fell right back. Dogs acting up beginning at 5a, managed to ignore & keep dozing. I got up cranky & impatient, but starting to feel fully rested. I nearly went to bed at 8pm last night, but instead took my book to the couch, and had an hour of reading & kittehs. Today, realizing there will be no nap time, I wish I had gone to bed that early!

Healthy Movement: Body feeling good, though not as great as two rest days should leave it. I went down to the basement with full intentions of doing All The Lifts, but after my first TGU, it began to dawn on me that I didn't actually want to do any of it. I wandered over to my rack and did an unweighted-BB back squat, and it felt okay, but it didn't entice me. I looked at my bench and my internal reaction was MEH. I thought about setting up a deadlift, but that sounded like a lot of effort. What?!

Now, so many people, including old me, need to just get over it and lift anyway, force through the MEH, but I am absolutely not low on motivation. I mean, I fucking LOVE to bench, like any meathead guydudebro. When I don't feel like lifting/running, and do it anyway, it's pretty much always a bad result. I'm better off not doing it when I get this way. So although my logical brain screamed about a third straight rest day, and whined about how I probably won't have time/energy the next two Sundays either, and OMG I'm going to fall farther behind in my pulls, I went back upstairs. I walked away and did my best to let it go.

I'm blaming the nights of crap sleep, even though last night was good, combined with the mental stress of needing to tell TC this week. And then everyone else, and all the sadness and hurt it will cause. This will be very, very difficult for me, and mental stress always has a physical manifestation (rather quickly & severely) for me. That absolutely explains today, so I am accepting it and keeping a big-picture perspective.

Fun & Play: Some FB silliness. Time with my family, including happy dogs getting muddy after their baths. Hubs home! Time to read, with a sweet sleepy Hankyface in my lap.

Saturday, March 28

Nutrition: I totally overate at lunch and felt like garbage, but I figured it would prevent me from eating too much at supper. My sleep has GOT to get back to solid. I'm dying.
  • 6a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 915-hot cereal w/ Renola
  • 1145-tuna w/ mustard & rice crackers, SB&CB toast, SB & rice crackers
  • 345-LB, bootch
  • 730-fried egg sandwich w/ Slawsa & cheeze, LB

Sleep: 9 (!) hours in bed, 9p-6a, 72% quality. Woke at midnight, h/s/g, missing an earplug, and heard Hank drinking like a mad drunk at the trough, SO LOUD (no, really, somehow this is the loudest sound known to man), and SO LONG (okay, probably like 20 seconds), that I wanted to smash him. I got up, put his water dish in the sink (is this why he wakes up at 4am, because he drains the water dish at midnight?!), had some ice-cold water myself, and managed to fall back fairly easily. Tossed & turned 5a onward, but was able to doze for much of that and get some relaxation in. I am not at all fond of this streak of rotten sleep. It kills me, thoroughly reduces my capacity for stress, and I need that to be at an all-time high right about now.

Healthy Movement: I was very glad not to be going running at the time I got out of bed, though no specific running-related issues. Did 10 very strict easy chins/pulls in the AM, seeing how that felt on the shoulder: fine. Left core AND left lower back a little crankier than they should be. Stood all day, occasional sitting to read or eat, and that felt amazing. Just a tired body.

Fun & Play: A slow-moving morning. Taxy peeps, QB online learning fun, and massive productivity. Escaped for a few minutes in the afternoon to fetch bootch & groceries (because why no bootch at the local gas station, eh??) - was nice to get that crisp blast of fresh air. And to sit, even if only for 5 minutes. Extra bonus: when I left at nearly 7pm, I was SO glad not to be needing groceries before going home. Just straight home to a little fetch and a lotta snuggles.

Friday, March 27

Nutrition: Somehow I went 6 hours without eating, without even thinking about food. I couldn't tell you the last time that happened (unless I was sleeping). Interesting.

  • 6a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, dinner roll, coffee w/ CM
  • 1215p-carnitas, yam, Larabar, chia bootch
  • 3-bag pork jerky
  • 6-apple w/ SB
  • 730-LB 

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 93% quality. Again, no way. Wide awake h/s/g, tossing & turning, monkey mind, from about 130-230a. Got up twice. Ugh ugh ugh. Luckily I was again able to sleep in, this time without any horrid dreams, like yesterday. 

Healthy Movement: Rest day as planned, although body feels well-rested. Sat pretty much all day, at tax firm. Can feel the left core being a crank, and the left shoulder has some whisper of light strain when it's well-stretched. I really need to make sure that doesn't become a lifelong "shoulder thing."

Fun & Play: Quickbooks madness! Taxy peeps. Busy busy.

Stress Management: Word has spread. I forgot a taxy peep is aunt to a TS peep. I also forgot how quickly people forget to emphasize the word "confidential" when it doesn't matter to them. This means it's time for that tough convo THIS WEEK. Sooner than I'd hoped, because I am not emotionally ready for it, but then again, I never will be. Regardless, putting things in motion sooner could mean things change that much sooner, which would obviously be awesome. Just gotta make that painful first push.

Thursday, March 26

Nutrition: Ate a giant supper in an effort to speed recovery from whatever is going on. As soon as I finished, I realized that it would fuck up tonight's sleep. Why am I so dumb?
  • 545a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-Larabar
  • 10-SB&CB toast, coffee w/ CM
  • (12p-dustin session)
  • 115-carnitas, yam, LB
  • 4-LB
  • 730-raw veg w/ guac, carnitas w/ guac, dinner roll

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a, 93% quality. That's total fucking bullshit; 43% is about right. In late because Lexi (the good dog!) was an asshole who I had to yell scream at several times to get her ass back inside, no idea what she was doing, but (what I wanted to be) a 5-minute outing took her 20. Then? I woke at 230a and also 315a says the sleep app, but I was mostly awake that whole time, hot & sweaty, tossing & turning, oh so tired, and I kept dreaming/thinking about work crap for some reason. Dogs tried waking me at 4:15, but I told those jerks to go back to sleep (with a lot of swears) and they did. And then I dreamed that they followed me some redonk far distance across the state, and Lexi had been hit by a car and one back leg was useless bloody meat and THEN at 530a I woke naturally, but painfully, angrily, with my brain in a state of total clusterfuck. An awful way to start to the day. What the fuck, yo?

Healthy Movement: Left toe and left core already feel better. Entire backside is tight though. I don't have any Saturday-morning running buddies to line up, I can't squeeze it in tomorrow morning, and I won't have energy left by either evening, so I'm probably not running this entire weekend. Feels like the body will appreciate it. In session, everything felt harder than it should have. I even CHOSE to dial back my deadlifts, gold star for me. No bonus pulls the rest of the day, just take some recovery time since I seem to need it, although I have no idea why.

Fun & Play: Slow-moving morning to make up for the rotten sleep. Caribou visit. Brief BK break time. Session. NSS all day afterward, including a meeting at which an important announcement was made that was VERY well-received, and it made me so happy. So happy!

Stress Management: I was so angry this morning. When I don't sleep well, I hate everyone, I just have zero fucking patience. Zero. Fuck the world and everyone in it. So I took a deep breath and shared the walk-to-run group as a #tbt. Thinking of that group always fills my heart to overflowing, because we changed lives. And we will do it again soon, and change even more lives. It worked, and I stopped being such a crank. But I was very damn thrilled to ditch TS and get onto my worky weekend o' fun.

Wednesday, March 25

  • 445a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 930-hot cereal w/ Renola
  • 1230-carnitas, yam, Larabar
  • 5-Larabar
  • (515-7m trails)
  • 7-salad, SB&J dinner roll

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a, 80% quality. Woke when hubs came to bed at 930p - from solid sleep, UGH - and then woke at 3a thinking it was probably time to get up, and was DELIGHTED to see I had time for another sleep cycle. That Hanky didn't allow. Jerk of a dog!

Healthy Movement: Body feels good, even good during class warm-up. Logged 20 pulls over small sets of 3-4, just try some low EASY pulls for a while, see if that helps or hurts. Run with Heidi wasn't easy, had to walk hills & we weren't quick (too much talking to be quick!), but it was fun. No blistering tonight, but did gain an angry left toe tendon, and left core was tight in the eve. Did the PT stretch for it.

Fun & Play: Class. BK break. FB silliness. Run with Heidi: chatty and fun and bald eagles and deer and deep gulps of nature. Bliss. Silent house.

Temperance: Had an amazing thought this morning, comparing myself to another (leaner) woman: I wonder if she wishes she were as strong as me, or if she's grateful to be thinner than me. And I wonder if she has any clue whatsoever how INCREDIBLE it feels to be this strong? Because I wouldn't trade my strength for her leaner body, no way no how. Strength has saved me, made me a new person, a better & happier person and I won't go back to the skinny battle. I am not at war with my body.

Yesterday Dustin & I talked about racing and I said I'm still not interested, but not necessarily against anything, either. Just going to see what happens. That led into a bit of a discussion about how what I'm doing seems to be working; I'm PR-ing regularly, injury-free, etc. But I clearly know: even if I weren't doing better, even if I were performing exactly the same, my BRAIN STATE is so much improved that I'd still be doing better overall. This is where I intend to remain.

Tuesday, March 24

  • 5a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 815-Larabar
  • 1015-apple, half LB
  • 1145-half LB
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 130-carnitas, yam
  • 530-LB
  • 630-salad, carnitas, toast, SB&J dinner roll 

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 930p-445a, 75% quality. In too late like a dummy. Woke at 3a, h/s/g, struggled to fall back, and was interrupted at 415a. Bah.

Healthy Movement: Glute/ham sore from the run, entire backside sore from the deadlifts. Ugh. Improved with movement, but not as much as I'd like. Session went really well, other than pulls again. Gravity, you can kiss my ass! Frustrated by these going backward.

Fun & Play: Early-morning hubs time. Crew planning for Zumbro. (Damn, is BK ever lucky to have me, I'm amazingly helpful!) Session. Productivity. Chat with CR, Timmy. Class. Time to read.

Stress Management: Meeting with my lead in which I said nothing. I have decided to say nothing until all my details are wrapped up, which has not yet happened. I know they WILL, but I shouldn't get ahead of myself.

Monday, March 23

Nutrition: Getting some acne outbreaks. Gotta be sugar intake, which is not AT ALL high compared to, oh, 99.9% of the US population, but is apparently too high for me. Frustrating.
  • 5a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 830-Larabar, coffee w/ CM
  • 1045-apple
  • 1230p-carnitas, yam, LB
  • 330-hot cereal w/ Renola
  • (530-7m trails)
  • 715-salad, SB&J toast

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 83% quality. Woke at 230a h/s/g thanks to the entire can of coconut milk consumed too close to bedtime, but fell back easily enough.

Healthy Movement: Slight tightness in back, sore glutes, nothing major. Left middle finger is angry from the chin-up thing yesterday, but not concerning. Went LCSP-ing with BK & DQ, a little fast for my taste, but the legs actually felt pretty fantastic up until mile 5 or so, when the deadlifts finally caught up to me. That was basically the pace of all my fall laps (total time 1:05, last fall consistently 1:04), so this could be a summer of getting speedier! Sore & tight lower body pretty quickly afterward, though. Everything tightened up, and left glute/ham insertion was firing angry words.

Fun & Play: FB silliness. Class. Chitchat with MB while delivering a treat to BB. Lunch w/ BK. Productive afternoon, conquered a problem left since July 8. Woods with friends. Hubs time.

Temperance: The internal voice is preaching the fear of change. Ignoring her. This is easier when facing mini-crisis after mini-crisis that we (as a company) caused ourselves.

Sunday, March 22

  • 6a-fried egg sandwich w/ cheeze & mustard, coffee w/ CM
  • 815-Larabar
  • (830-lifting)
  • 1030-SB&CB&J French toast
  • 1-apple w/ SB
  • 615-carnitas, yam
  • 715-half-assed coconut ice cream

Sleep: 8.25 (!) hours in bed, 930p-545a, 70% quality. Nope, more like 95%, it was awesome. Woke naturally & got up feeling very refreshed. Enjoyed the hell out of a nap after the workout, snuggling kittehs make great napping partners.

Healthy Movement: Body feels quite good. Left knee is now okay with stairs, first time since my fall last Saturday. Yay! Logged an all the lifts workout that felt good & solid. Even got the hubs to do some deadlifts! Did enough bonus pulls to hit 100, but they didn't feel great today, and I'll probably regret them, starting with: angered left middle finger while doing some SA chin work (SA strength is not there after 90, that's weird).

Fun & Play: Sabrina's keys to winning on Sundays:  

Saturday, March 21

Nutrition: Ate my supper salad in front of the TV: literally vegging!
  • 415a-fried egg sandwich w/ cheeze & mustard, yam, coffee w/ coconut milk
  • (6-5.5m run)
  • 730-Larabar
  • 945-Renola, bootch
  • 1215p-carnitas, yam, apple chips, fruit leather
  • 230-SB toast
  • 5-apple w/ SB
  • 8-salad w/ avocado & tomato dressing

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 9p-4a, 81% quality. Slept solidly, woke easily. What? How?

Healthy Movement: Run w/ BK felt fantastically easy. Calves were not tight, glutes & hams were fine, lungs were totally capable. YAY!! Tiny dose of left-core ache after the run, but then, I sat with poor posture in a big squishy chair at Caribou, for an hour, immediately afterward. Stood all day at tax firm, was better.

Fun & Play: Running & coffee & chitchat w/ BK. Tax firm, with only two more weekends after today! Really lovely chat with a taxy coworker. Hubs time and snuggly pet time and some stupid mindless movie time. Shared with hubs the redonk He-Man music video, and he was appropriately amused. 

Stress Management: Tax prep for a friend ate up a HUGE chunk of my hours today, though. Gah, hard to balance the desire for a long taxy day against the late start due to run (which I need) and the pals (which I appreciate, and which pay better). Will be easier next year when I have more days to squeeze in the extra hours.

Friday, March 20

  • 5a-fried egg sandwich w/ cheeze & mustard, coffee w/ CM
  • 715-Renola
  • 915-Larabar
  • 1215p-eggs, ham, potatoes, coffee (Trav's!)
  • 3-LB
  • 430-LB
  • 6-Cobb salad (Doolittles!)

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 94% quality. Solid. Woken by dogs, but was already kinda dozing.

Healthy Movement: Some all-over stiffness from deadlifts, upper back nicely tight, sore glutes. Bit of anger in left shoulder, more like kip pain than the weird thing last weekend. Tried to hang from the bar in class, felt rotten. Left it. Sat all afternoon at NSS.

Fun & Play: Pretty stars. Sweet message in response to inviting a usual class attendee to my unusual Friday class (below). Lovely coworker chat. Lovely lunch with Mary. Fun afternoon at NSS: chitchat with Dustin, emails with BB, super productive (finally got to some things two months overdue), and even finished at an early enough hour to join miss Holea on a supper date. Two dates, to my favorite places, in one day?! Luckiest evah.


Stress Management: So worried about hurting my people here. Mustn't dwell too much or I may never do it. I know that I need to do it for me, but I'm not good at selfish. Must focus on those I will be helping, the beloveds who will greatly benefit from this change - including me. 

Thursday, March 19

  • 515-fried egg sandwich w/ cheeze, SB&J toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 845-half LB
  • 1015-hot cereal w/ raisins
  • 1115-half LB
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 130-carnitas, toast, apple
  • 530-LB
  • 630-salad w/ avocado, toast, carnitas

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 84% quality. Scampering Hanky awoke, otherwise I think I might have made it to 6.

Healthy Movement: Body feels quite good. Session was solid, although nothing super impressive; pulls were off-kilter in terms of coordination, but deadlifts were strong, yay! Did some SA chin work during class, but everything felt REALLY hard so didn't push it.

Also did a 225 trapbar deadlift during class, with no warm-up. Felt easy. Was then SO FUCKING TEMPTED to pick up the 255 but the mini-Dustin in my head warned it was a risk and asked whether it was worth it: I already deadlifted earlier, I did not properly warm up, I can feel the shoulder/arm a teensy bit, I am running fast roads Saturday morning, what will it get me if I do lift it vs what might it do to my back if I fail, etc. So I used ALL of my willpower for a solid 10 minutes to avoid it, until it turned into a 285 trapbar that was an obvious no.

Well, at the time I thought my PR was 265, so what's the point of picking up the 255 in case I anger something, right? But it turns out my trapbar PR is only 240, so holy shit I shoulda done it, because based on the 225 I totally would have. Stupid mini-Dustin. (Or smart. Probably smart. Dammit.)

Fun & Play: Coworker chitchat. FB silliness. Tiny doses of BK & BB. Session. Productivity. Class fun. Fetch time. Hubs time. Deer-watching time.

Stress Management: I swear to fuck. This fucking place. I can't even.

Well, fuck it: I won't.

I'm not.

Wednesday, March 18

Nutrition: Acne surfacing. Gotta be the sugar. 
  • 5a-eggs, summer sausage, Brussels sprouts, GF toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-Larabar
  • 945-hot cereal w/ raisins, coffee w/ CM
  • (1215p-3.25m run)
  • 1-pork carnitas, toddler pack, apple
  • 4-LB
  • 6-salad w/ avocado & tomato dressing, toast, carnitas, bootch 

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 92% quality. Super duper solid until I gradually woke up to dancing Hanky.

Healthy Movement: Knee remains angry. Feeling some soreness from squats. Worked on some SA hanging during my morning class, something that is minimal work but over time will add a lot of strength for my SA goal. Ran slowly with Timmy, and it was loveliness. Felt as easy as a walk; was tempted to still add evening miles, (especially in the snow for some unexplainable reason?!) - but I decided that I am content with a generous deload from running for the week, so that my lifting is on the upswing again. It's still lifting season, don't get all carried away with spring running fever. Save that 'til Zumbro.

Fun & Play: Fabulous class. Break with BK. Run with Timmy. Massive breakthrough on a confusing work conundrum, and feeling smaht. Fetch time. Writing time. Hubs time. 

Tuesday, March 17

Nutrition: Gold star: I did food prep on a school night! Easier to do when you have two hours, not one. 
  • 445-eggs, summer sausage, Brussels sprouts, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 830-Larabar, coffee w/ CM
  • 11-LB
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 115-jerky, toddler pouch, LB
  • 4-LB
  • 6-pork carnitas, toast, apple w/ SB, bootch

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 845p-430a, 71% quality. MEH. Woke a couple times but always out easily enough, until prancing, dancing, stomping Hank.

Healthy Movement: Feeling better today. Left knee still has the tight feeling but no sharp pain. Left arm/shoulder thing seems gone. Session was good - failed on both max attempts, but it was purely technique, strength is there. AND, you can't PR this, but my 135 bench press flew up like it weighed 85 freaking pounds. 'Twas goddamn amazing.

Fun & Play: FB silliness. Break w/ BK. A visit with my BB & MB. Session. Request from Dustin to be at NSS for an announcement next week. (!!!!!) Explained a complicated financial process to a team that GOT IT! Awesome full PM class. Hubs time, pet time, deer-viewing time. 

Monday, March 16

  • 515a-eggs, summer sausage, Brussels sprouts, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-Renola, coffee w/ CM
  • 11-coconut butter
  • 1230p-pork carnitas, apple w/ CB
  • 2-LB
  • 430-LB
  • 6-salad w/ avocado, toast, bootch
  • 730-apple w/ SB

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 51% quality. It was better than that, but it was very in/out after 230a. Woke up h/s/g, but not quite enough to get up.

Healthy Movement: Still feeling fairly junky; class warm-up & demonstrating moves felt rough. Blargh! Two beloveds are hitting LCSP tonight, but they are speedsters, and so I am not joining them - even though I very badly want to, of course. But I don't want to slow them down, and I don't want to feel slow, and I probably shouldn't run at all. I tried to line up a run with HH, knowing that would be short & easy on the bike trail, but she's on a non-running day. Fine, then: rest. 

Fun & Play: Solid class, one of my peeps has returned after 6 weeks at NSS, woo hoo! Productive day. After deciding not to run, I tried to line up a supper date with the hubs - he's working late. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Fine then: I'll have a boring old night of groceries & chores. Rest days are so lame. Did manage some reading time, and purging time. And pet time. Snuggly Hanky boy, aw. 

Sunday, March 15

Nutrition: Pork chops on the grill. Carnitas in the slow cooker. Happy girl.
  • 6a-eggs, summer sausage, Brussels sprouts, toast, coffee
  • 930-SB&J toast
  • (10-easy lifting)
  • 1p-salad w/ avocado, summer sausage, toast
  • 330-Renola w/ coconut milk
  • 7-pork chop, baked potato, Brussels sprouts, apple w/ SB

Sleep: 8.75 (!) hours in bed, 9p-545a, 98% quality. Solid as my biceps, bitches. Finally. Attempted to nap after my workout, and did feel tired, but it was spotty rest.

Healthy Movement: Left knee a little more sore than I'd like (from the fall), calves tight from the run, and weird tightness in left upper arm (somehow from the fall?). But not feeling that overall fatigue or depletion, nothing in back from deadlifts: magic! Until I tried to lift. Everything felt rough; both acute (like the knee not tolerating TGUs, and the arm disliking any pulls remotely kippy), but also cumulative-fatigue-feeling. Things were just HEAVY and none of the moves felt great. I very quickly scaled back to easy everything, minimal sets, just move lightly through the grooves, a baby step above a full rest day. Then I napped. Spent 15-ish minutes strolling around the yard picking up trash (thanks, Hank), then just vegged in the warm, glorious sunshine. Soak soak soak. I was very, very tempted to go LCSP-ing, but listened to my body. My frustrating, anger-making body.

Fun & Play: Pristine finances. Hubs home. The sun, shining and warm and lovely. Much time with the pets, toting kitties outside, fetch with pooches, and a brushing-for-all that sent colorful tufts of soft fluff swirling off into the gentle breeze. A truly gorgeous spring day.

Saturday, March 14

Nutrition: Little bit of acne popping up. There is nothing wonk in the past few days, other than an over-reliance on LBs (as usual). Talked with a taxy coworker today who has massive sensitivities that lead to migraines, joint pain, digestive issues, etc, and she made me feel grateful that my reactions are so mild, frustrated at what delicate flowers we are - and maddened by all the additional things I could include as suspect foods in my diet, such as industrial meat - like, maybe I shouldn't even order grain-fed steak at a restaurant?! She literally reacts to that. Please to baby hey zeus, no, don't let me become that insanely sensitive.
  • 5a-two fried egg sandwiches: one with Slawsa, one with cheese; coffee w/ CM
  • (6-road 10k)
  • 715-Larabar, Americano
  • 930-hot cereal w/ raisins
  • 1145-summer sausage w/ rice crackers, LB
  • 2-LB
  • 4-apple w/ SB, LB
  • 615-rice crackers
  • 9-mixed nuts

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 930p-445a, 86% quality. Fairly solid but not enough. Alarm woke me. Energy levels tolerable throughout the day, even working until 8p.

Healthy Movement: Body a bit tight but zero concerns. 10k road run with BK was fast & good, but calves were VERY tight during & afterward. Stretched at DBB. Probably just the speed. Left knee was a little bit stiff & swollen after the spill, but nothing major, just didn't like stairs. Stood all day at DBB.

Fun & Play: Sunrise run to re-measure the 10k route with BK. My taxy peeps. My aunt. Nice talks with tax boss, his wife, and his son (also the tax boss, kinda - someday THE tax boss). Some FB silliness. Being able to come home and crawl straight into bed without anyone to be pleasant to.

Stress Management: Some numbers to explain my life in the past 14 days:
  • 90 hours worked at TS
  • 20 hours worked at NSS
  • 20 hours worked at DBB
  • 1 hour worked at NBS
  • 6 hours of lifting & 5 hours of running
  • ^^ that's 142 hours of effort which is 63% of my 224 hours awake (112 hours sleeping )
  • then add 52 hours for the busywork of life (eating, hygiene, errands, weekly chores) & 14 hours of commuting
  • and I'm left with 16 hours for time with hubs, volunteering, reading, TV/internet laziness, coffee/lunch with friends, fetch with dogs, etc.

That is a highly unbalanced & unsustainable lifestyle. Happily, only 3 more weeks of tax season (for me), culminating in Zumbro weekend and some precious time in the woods watching BK kick ass.

And then?

Major. Life. Overhaul. I can't freaking wait!!

Friday, March 13

  • 6-eggs, peppers, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-Larabar, coffee w/ CM
  • 10-hot cereal w/ Renola, apple
  • 1-beef hot dogs, Apple, LB
  • 4-jerky, LB
  • 515-LB
  • 8-salad w/ avocado, toast

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 94% quality.

Healthy Movement: Body is a bit tight all over from deadlifts, but in a good way. Left foot has improved. Rest day as planned. Sat all afternoon at NSS.

Fun & Play: CR chitchat first thing, making some great progress on a rotten task. Good progress on a frustrating pile of work. Very fun times at NSS, serious silliness with HB & D, plus super productive and I think I can avoid going in on Sunday. A whole day off for the first time in weeks, wowee!

Thursday, March 12

  • 515a-eggs, peppers, sausage, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 830-Larabar
  • 10-LB, coffee w/ CM
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 115-beef hot dogs, apple, LB
  • 4-jerky
  • 630-salad, toast, apple w/ SB

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 930p-515a, 60% quality. Enjoyed a 1030p bark-fest by Lexi, spazzing over something outside. Hubs wasn't home and normally the barking then SUPER freaks me out, but there could have been a serial killer standing at the foot of my bed, and I still couldn't possibly wake up enough to do anything besides yell at her to shut up. After that, solid. Woke naturally at 5a.

Healthy Movement: Feet & ankles ache (feeling the messy trails), body a bit stiff all over first thing, but all got better with movement. Left toe tendon angered again, better inside shoes. Pretty effing fantastic session: deadlift rep PR + easy pull-ups = happiness! Also a PR in the Holea lift, and she scooped ME up for an extra-large dose of silliness. More sitting than a normal day, productive afternoon meeting (they exist!) and writing at home. Body continued to feel solid despite the deadlift beastliness, except that my SA chin work was nearly non-existent because it felt tough as nails.

Fun & Play: Slow, leisurely morning. Good news from HH. Break with BK to talk all things running. Coworker silliness. Super fun session. Great afternoon with a coworker, to whom I dropped hints of my pending news. Quiet (silent) night at home with the hubs gone.

Temperance: Devoted my evening to pushing my main Whole30 content over to the "real blog," so that the random internet traffic coming from W9 newsletters & etc will direct these complete strangers to what is worth their reading time, rather than to what is essentially an online journal. In my hunt backward for the W30 posts, I realized I have actually shared a lot of good nuggets over the many years of blathering. A lot of shit, too, of course, but if I took the time to transition allathat good stuff over there, I might actually build up a genuinely helpful little corner of the internet. I like that idea quite a bit!

Wednesday, March 11

  • 5a-eggs, peppers, sausage, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 745-Larabar
  • 945-Renola w/ CM, coffee w/ CM
  • 1245-hot dogs, apple w/ CB, LB
  • 3-LB
  • (515-7m trails)
  • 7-salad w/ avocado, toast

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 89% quality. Woke a little easier than yesterday, but still rough.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling pretty great! A week ago I was happy to not-run because it was -5F. And today? GLORIOUSLY GORGEOUS 55F and sunny and melty and incredibly lovely. Heidi & I had all the fun out at LCSP, splashing through the mess, giddy children bustin' outta school on a spring day. I swear that it was the BEST run evah. Went home muddy, wet, exhausted, blissed out.

Fun & Play: Class, during which one woman said, "It feels better when it's heavier," in reference to a 16kg row vs a 12kg row -- bliss! Quick-fix for Dustin that was easy for me, super helpful for him. Lunch w/ BK. Chitchat w/ LT & my BB. Productivity. Pushing back on some work stupidity, with the eye of making it easier for the next poor soul. The amazingly delightful outing in the woods. Quick dose of hubs time before he jetted off for a weekend of racing. Silly wet, muddy, lovable pets.

Stress Management: If not for the light at the end of the tunnel, I'd be having an absolute, complete, total, utter meltdown right about now. Stupid decisions, completely unrealistic expectations, uncompromising deadlines, and FOR WHAT. I would be filled with raging Hulk anger if this was my long-term outlook. A fetal-position desk doesn't sound like nearly enough to save me from this position; I would also need padded walls and a strait-jacket to prevent me from harming others.

Tuesday, March 10

Nutrition: #allthecoffee
  • 5a-eggs, sausage, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8a-Renola
  • 10-hot cereal w/ raisins, coffee w/ CM
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 145-chicken w/ mustard, toast
  • 630-salad w/ avocado, toast

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-445a, 87% quality. DAMN YOU, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

Healthy Movement: Calves still a little tight, and left foot bugs when barefoot, but fine in shoes; that's the toe tendon again. Session was pretty fabulous: pulls coming back, squat & bench rep PRs. Wasn't even feeling squats yet in class warmup. Worked on SA chin decels during class: holy hard as hell. 

Fun & Play: FB silliness straight off. (The pants!) Class. Fun times with coworkers. Quick dose of BK chitchat. Session. PRs. Eve chitchat w/ HH & BK about her injury. Hubs time. 

Quote Fun:
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?  

Well hey hey, and hot damn, I'm doing it, bitchez!

Monday, March 9

  • 530a-eggs, sausage, cheese, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 930-hot cereal, jerky
  • 1215p-hot dogs, apple w/ coconut butter
  • 230-Renola
  • 415-banana
  • (530-7m trails)
  • 730-chicken w/ Slawsa, apple w/ SB

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 930p-515a, 70% quality. Wide awake at 130a, up for bathroom, water, and a handful of nuts - way too many supper calories. Tossed & turned constantly after that, UGH. Happily, class is tomorrow instead, so I slept in until halfway between old time & new time, and then took my morning slow due to all that tossing & turning. I'm getting wiser every year!

Healthy Movement: Still have tight calves, with some tightness in upper back as well. Very minor. Run was a tough messy slog but the body held up surprisingly well, and it was gloriously springy. I even paused to hear the trickling water at my favorite spot - bliss!

Fun & Play: Sleeping in & taking it slow. New Xero shoes ordered! zOMG THE AMAZING FORECAST. Texting with MB, going to do my best to get lunch with her next week. Trails w/ DQ! Hubs time.

Temperance: Work productivity but no desire to take on extra. I'm already slacking, oh no! I'm also already feeling nostalgic - & guilty. Don't worry, I'll still follow my dream, but it's going to be oh so challenging to get past those voices. But oh so worth it, I know.

Mostly, while it's all still secret (perhaps for months yet), I feel guilty for acting as though all is normal. Especially lunching with HB yesterday; Dustin had asked me not to say anything. That was impossibly hard and I feel icky about it. But I'm hoping I can drop the TS bomb once tax season ends, which means things are open, and then it's a matter of how long I'm willing to wait, where is my compromise between me & my beloveds.

Sunday, March 8

Nutrition: I haven't eaten proper raw veg in DAYS. Terrible habit, must improve.
  • 6a-eggs, sausage, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • (9-powerlifting)
  • 1130-ham, eggs, potatoes, coffee (Trav's!)
  • 2p-Larabar
  • 315-jerky
  • 6-steak, potato, Renola w/ coconut milk

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-545a, 86% quality - would've been bliss if that were 9 hours. (Thanks, DST!) Hanky woke me & wouldn't give up, or else I think I might've hit 9. I was super-dee-duper tired exhausted at bedtime.

Healthy Movement: Tight calves. Feeling pretty great. Logged a full All The Lifts workout, but everything was a bit tougher than I'd like it to feel. Focused on nailing technique and reminded myself this is about container-building. Sat & lazed like a sloth the rest of the day. Not even any bonus pulls, whaaaat?

Fun & Play: Chores productivity. Lifting with the hubs, who asked for a barbell-based program (!!), thinking we could then sell his Bowflex. Yay! Lunch with HB. NSS productivity. Sunshine & warm temps. GRILLING. Lots of hubs time.

Saturday, March 7

  • 5a-eggs, sausage, toast, coffee
  • (6a-4.5m run)
  • 815-apple chips, Larabar
  • 1215p-chicken w/ mustard, applesauce, Halo
  • 3-apple w/ SB
  • 430-LB
  • 630-LB, jerky
  • 8-SB toast

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 930p-445a, 64% quality. Solid as my pull-ups, just not quite enough.

Healthy Movement: 6am run with BK was on the quick side, and felt awesome. Quads were working more than usual to go that fast, but it was sweet to have solid footing. I'm kinda sorta understanding a glimmer of my road-running friends' aversion to trails - but 99% of the time, the nature, silence, and utter beauty is worth the extra work for me. Stood all day at tax firm; some tightness in back but all else was good. Left foot was no worse post-run.

Fun & Play: Sunrise run & coffee w/ BK. FB silliness. Tax peeps! Visitors at the tax firm. Chat with tax boss that went perfectly. Hubs time. Clyde time. To bed early.

Friday, March 6

  • 530a-sausage, Slawsa, cheese, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 830-Larabar
  • 10-jerky
  • 12p-chicken, toast, LB
  • 245-apple, jerky
  • 6-eggs (!!), sausage, toast, apple w/ SB
Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 9p-515a, 83% quality. Felt solid as hell; don't remember waking up at all through the night. Bliss!

Healthy Movement: Feeling those deadlifts all up & down the back. Hams & glutes doing well. Stood all day, built a standing workstation at NSS with a case of water bottles. Some elbow & shoulder anger, so I didn't add Friday pulls like I'm wanting to do.

Fun & Play: NSS all morning! Appreciation received from Mike & Dustin, appreciation given to my peeps. Lunch with my BB, all the details shared. Impressive TS productivity, given my tired brain. Left work at an early 5pm, for the first time in I don't even know how long? Hubs & critter time. Time to work on LAE stuff in front of the TV with hubs.

Nature: I am madly in love with the big fat beautiful full moon, and also the gloriously warm sun. I wonder if they talk to each other. Pagan tree-hugging dirt-worshipper, right here.

Thursday, March 5

Nutrition: The hot cereal I found approximates oatmeal in taste & texture (though not in macros). It's freaking delicious! I even wrote a review on Amazon, which I normally never do. 
  • 530a-breakfast sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 8-Larabar
  • 930-hot cereal w/ raisins, coffee w/ CM
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 130-tuna w/ mustard & rice crackers, apple
  • 545-Kind Strong bar
  • 630-veg w/ guac, chicken w/ mustard 

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-515a, 92% quality. FINALLY catching up!

Healthy Movement: Body slightly tight, left foot still a little crank, but minor; just keeping tabs on it. Kicked ass in session. Deadlift PR, and felt like I had some in the tank to do another rep for both sides; just didn't want to push (because the right side was redonk twisty & slow). Walked out feeling amazingly badass. Logged 41 pulls/chins at class, primarily SA chin work & dead-hang wide-grip pulls, to hit 100 total. Easy today, figured I would load 'em up!

Fun & Play: Sleeping in. Big gorgeous amazing inspirational MOON. Caribou from Timmy. Love notes & treats to my peeps. Break with BK. A message from miss Shannon! Session, which included a Holea lift. Hubs time, talking through expected pay cut impact. 

Stress Mangement: Dustin commented that I'm handling stress really well lately, and I immediately responded, "Maybe because I'm getting rid of it?" Because I am! I can handle the TS overload now, because there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel - and for once, it's not the light of an oncoming freight train, but an actual opening, an escape from the tunnel.

It's a beautiful bright light that I made!


Wednesday, March 4

  • 5a-sausage, Brussels sprouts, slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM (I out of eggs! Noooo!)
  • 930-apple w/ SB, coffee w/ CM
  • 12p-eggs, ham, potatoes, coffee (Trav's!)
  • 245-Larabar
  • 6-jerky
  • 7-raw veg w/ guac, hot cereal

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 930p-445a, 82% quality. In late due to hubs chitchat about supper, then sleep was pretty solid, but woke about 430a & had no time to doze.

Healthy Movement: Body feels surprisingly good - not even any squat soreness in my class warm-up. What? Rest day anyway - since sleep is not back on track, I am not allowed to run. The -5F temps are keeping that from being a sad disappointment. Some squat soreness by the end of the day, and slight upper back tightness from bench. I spent time on front of the mirror admiring the freakish shelf of muscle that the barbell rests on for back squats. Meathead, yo. 

Fun & Play: Happy times! Class. Productivity. BK time. Trav's with Timmy. Plotting a lunch date with BB. Hubs time. 

Tuesday, March 3

  • 445a-eggs, breakfast sausage, Brussels sprouts, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 815-LB
  • 945-apple w/ SB, coffee w/ CM
  • 1130-LB
  • (12-Dustin session)
  • 130-tuna w/ mustard on rice crackers, apple, LB, bootch
  • 530-LB
  • 630-Cobb salad, decaf

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 930p-430a, 74% quality. In late due to an overly-chatty husband. Solid but woke at 4a to a dancing jerk of a Hank dog. I need more sleep than this. Happy life events are energizing me today, but I shall crash if this sleep situation doesn't improve soon.

Healthy Movement: Some left-foot crankiness, some aching left core. Both can be solved with more sleep. Session was pretty good, but dearest upper body, what is your sad dealio?!

Fun & Play: FB silliness. BK chitchat & break time. Amazon orders o' fun (new foods! WW pants!). Plotting my NSS talk/proposal, and feeling confident about it. And having the supper go swimmingly, beautifully, near-perfectly. My freaking dream job is in the works, like FOR REAL yo! It's going to happen. I am beside myself! Hence: BB chitchat, BK chitchat, HH chitchat, and plotting how to make it LT & HB chitchat on the down-low as well. My besties must know this news!

Temperance: I wish I had shown more passion rather than dimming my light tonight. I mean, I got the basics across, but I wasn't really & truly open & vulnerable in telling them just how much they mean to me, NSS means to me, this job, the fact that ALL I CONTROL in my world is how I spend my time. I want need that time to be spent in a worthwhile place, and there is absolutely no business that means more to me than NSS. Why is it so hard to say that?

Monday, March 2

  • 445a-eggs, Brussels sprouts, beef hot dog, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 915-Larabar, coffee w/ CM
  • 1115-LB
  • 1230p-tuna w/ mustard, rice crackers, tangerines, bit of coconut butter
  • 145-LB
  • 345-pork jerky
  • (5-6m run)
  • 6-beef hot dog, banana, bootch

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 915p-430a, 74% quality. Woke often: midnight, 2a, 3a, 4a--and didn't fall asleep after that. GROSS. Not enough intake yesterday? I don't know, just know the poor/lack of sleep is catching up something fierce.

Healthy Movement: Body feels a bit BLEAH. Can get low back to anger-up if I stretch it too much. Energy stayed okay throughout the day, although BK easily could have talked me into Trav's instead of a run - but I didn't offer this information, as I needed a run for my brain state. And I'm glad I didn't offer, because the run was lovely (once we turned out of the wind). Felt good to feel good! Left core was a bit crank afterward, as was left foot, but I attribute that to the over-tiredness rather than the mileage.

Fun & Play: Strong class. Happy coworkers. Break time with BK at which he still didn't mention Kate* OMG SRSLY. HH chitchat. Texts with Dustin, and with HB.

The run with BK, at which I finally forced him to tell me he's dating Kate. His reason for not telling me was that he "doesn't like to talk about his personal life" because he's a dude; and I told him I'd accept that, if it wasn't being obviously broadcast to the general public on FB, and friends are for personal life information, not just inane chitchat! He apologized, I forgave (I already had). We are good (and he doesn't even know we were bad - boys have it so easy!) and we came away with some hilarious quotes:
BK: "I may be a girly dude, but I do have some dude qualities!"
Me: "And I have girly qualities, but I fight them with all my strength!"

Stress Management: I spent most of the day as a very tired girl, mentally speaking. Low low low. Like when I went to horn in on BK's lunch, he wasn't there, and so I assumed he was avoiding me, even though I had not told him I was joining him; my inner cunt voice immediately went to assuming everyone hates me and WHY DO I GET THIS WAY. Ugh, it's fucking obnoxious. I hate that cunty internal voice so, so, so much. What shuts her up is talking to my friends, because their voices are so much more loving than hers. I'm glad I know this fix.

Personal Growth: Brett's marathon went really well yesterday, and he had this to say, filling up my giant hulk heart:
Normally I suck immensely on the up hills but I swear I owe Sabrina and her death camp some credit, because the inclines seemed comfortably easy today.
That, my friend, is BLISS: helping the people I love do what they love!

OMG: Dustin & Mike & I are having supper tomorrow night. Please, universe, let us all be on the same page of awesome. Please please please.

Sunday, March 1

  • 6-eggs, Brussels sprouts, beef hot dog, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 9-Larabar
  • 1130-pork jerky, apple, Larabar
  • 230-beef hot dog
  • 430-SB&CB&J toast
  • 7-grilled cheeze, veg w/ guac, bootch

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 1030p-530a, 72% quality. Up late due to TV like a dumbass. Got up feeling okay, but was desperately needing my nap time, 230-430p.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling fine, but at NSS I was logging sets of only 6 pulls, which was my limit of keeping them super strict, despite being a half hour apart. And still my shoulders and elbows were sore by the 10th set. So at home, I did nothing at all. Let the body heal & rest from whatever its stupid damn problem is.

Fun & Play: Many hours at NSS that included M & boys playing games while he squeezed in a workout, Holea & Mitzi & fetch, and a lotta productivity. (Still, my energy & brain tanked before I had finished all that I wanted. Left in desperate need of a nap, and postponed the M/D meeting to next week or weekend. I was too tired to be able to properly sell my awesomeness.) BK chitchat, a running date for tomorrow night. Hubs time. Pet time. BB chitchat. HB chitchat, swapping pooch pics!