Wednesday, February 25

  • 515-eggs, sausage, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 930-LB, coffee w/ CM
  • 1130-jerky, coconut butter
  • 1230-tuna w/ mustard on rice crackers, apple w/ CB, LB
  • 315-KSB
  • (5-7.1m trails)
  • 7-eggs, Slawsa, squash, toast, bootch, Natural Calm

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 76% quality. Felt pretty solid, but alarm buzzed me awake.

Healthy Movement: Body is tight all over, including a bit in low back. Squat soreness big time after standing a long time in the morning, but sitting in a couple meetings helped. Still: feeling very BLEAH again/already. Afternoon was worse, and I nearly didn't want to go run. But I couldn't be happier that I did. HH & I had a thoroughly enjoyable slog, full of chitchat and laughter, and I left feeling like me again.

Fun & Play: Class. Hubs chitchat. Lunch with BK. Work productivity. HH time that was the best, the most, the everything. I fucking love that woman. More hubs time in the eve. He has been 100% wonderful lately.

Stress Management: Hated what I did at work today, as the bulk of my hours felt like mindless, pointless, mid-level management bullshit busywork. Made me so frustrated, because there is so much MORE IMPORTANT SHIT I should be doing. Like work I keep discovering undone, related to a job I shouldn't be doing, but am stuck doing because we have two open positions, one of which should still be occupied and I want to SMASH. THINGS. By 3pm it felt like 7pm, or perhaps like I'd already been there for a lifetime. I am burned the fuck out.

Temperance: 99% sure BK is lying to me, or at least, purposely not telling me very big news. This feels like shit. He is in my tip-top tier of beloveds, and I keep no secrets from him - he is, in fact, in on more of my life than most folks in that tier. So for him to still withhold something that I figured out almost 2 weeks ago? Hurts. A lot.

I know he's not telling me because he thinks I'll lecture him for it. Which feels shittier, because I absolutely will not. I'm very disappointed that the foolish boy doesn't know me half as well as I know him, if I'm right about all of this. Hurts even more.

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