Tuesday, February 10

  • 615a-fried egg sandwich w/ Slawsa, coffee
  • 815-Larabar
  • 945-meat sticks, LB
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 115-tuna w/ mustard, rice crackers, Renola w/ toddler pouch
  • 4-Kind Strong bar
  • 630-salad w/ guac, smoked ham

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 930p-6a, 99% quality. Finally SOLID and I couldn't even fully wake up to Hanky's prancing; let the hubs take care of him. Thankful that he did.

Healthy Movement: Body feels okay. Session didn't feel like it would amount to much, especially when my pulls went backward, but I hit two impressive rep PRs and got to ring the sweet new PR bell. (Felt weird.) Little creaky by class time, but still logged some good SA chin work.

Fun & Play: Early morning silliness with BK, plus a short break time that also included AS & PJ chitchat. Sweet messages from a couple friends, one a former coworker and completely out of the blue, a treasure. Lovely session, finally feeling badass again. Fun class. Finally a night of sheer TV laziness, snuggled up on the couch with Clyde.

Stress Management: Last night my cousin M was talking to the hubs about his job search, and he pointed at me and said, "It's like Sabrina always says: if you love your job, it's really not work." I was a bit dumbfounded for a spell, because WOW do I not love my job lately...but oh yeah, I remember that I used to feel that way.

It's been a long goddamn time, though. I don't love what I'm doing since becoming a lead, since July 8, since deadlines started whooshing by, waving middle fingers as they pass. I am CONSTANTLY feeling like I'm not good enough, ever, because no one possibly could be at this rate. It's mind-bogglingly stupid and incredibly frustrating.

And that's why I'm eyeing up NSS so lovingly. I love what I'm doing there enough to bust my ass at TS all week to get there, to rearrange the shit out of my schedule any time I have a weekend thing.

Love. It. 

Want. It. Daily.

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