Thursday, February 5

Nutrition: All The Coffeez.
  • 515a-eggs, bacon, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 845-Larabar
  • 945-toast w/ CB
  • 11-LB
  • (12p-Dustin session)
  • 130-tuna w/ mustard & rice crackers, LB
  • 545-jerky
  • 7-salad w/ avocado, toast

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 10p-5a, 79% quality. Woke several times but always fell back.

Healthy Movement: Body feels okay. Fatigued overall, though no specifics. Session was somehow fantastic? Helped that I didn't tell Dustin about Grandpa until the end. I just didn't want to think about any of it or talk about it or create any openings for tears. After my class I worked on SA chins, and I can do FOUR wrist-assisted chins, even on the weak left side, WOO HOO! I also once again bled in class, cracked skin, GAH.

Fun & Play: BK break time. LT chitchat. BL chitchat. Session with Dustin. Fewer tech issues at work meant shit actually got done, kinda mostly: still behind. Super awesome class.

Stress Management: Grandpa passed last night. Instead of feeling sadness & loss, I just feel overwhelmed in trying to fit a wake and funeral into my schedule. Thus: feeling as though I am an asshole. Also, a cousin posted the news on FB, and that's how I learned at 5a (since my dad kindly didn't call until 545a), and I couldn't stop myself from mentioning that he might want to wait 12 hours next time, so family doesn't learn via FB. It kind of made me feel jerky to say anything, but seriously, dude, think a little.

Chance that the funeral service will be on Saturday. Day of the NSS xmas party. You've GOT to be kidding me. If February is THAT much of a motherfucking cuntstick I will absolutely fall into pieces.

Like, seriously: month-end close week, of January, with the same painfully-tight deadlines, plus let's add time spent working through technology issues that ate up at least a day; oh, how about a product recall; week 6 of three jobs; marital stress; Grandpa into hospice; poor sleep because of all of this; Grandpa dies and now I will have a wake/funeral that might be on the day of something I've been wanting to be invited to for YEARS...what else, universe? WHAT. THE. FUCK. ELSE.

Happily, after all that bitching & worrying, the wake is on Monday. No missing the party.

Personal Growth: I just thought up the ideal transition to NSS. What if I stepped down as a lead, and even left the Finance team, to be a PT Well Manager, and then worked PT at NSS until it became FT? I move my accounting love to there, I keep my group-fitness love here. Which is plenty ironic, but would be pretty perfect. Of course, that kicks someone else out of Well-managing, which is not nice, or even likely. But I can dream, no?

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