Monday, February 9

Nutrition: Starving all morning, sickly guts at noon. Stress. 
  • 445a-eggs, Slawsa, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 730-Larabar
  • 945-meat sticks, cran-blueberry crunch, coffee w/ CM
  • 1230p-cran-blueberry crunch
  • 145-egg, Slawsa, toast, coffee 
  • 5-BWCs, pickles wrapped in ham, bacon jerky, raw veg, bootch

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 915p-430a, 81% quality. Solid until Hank began running laps at 415a. GD dog.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling great other than the low-right back a little bit spazzy during class. I do also have a bit of an ache in my left shin, oddly. Rest day due to the wake, but holy goddamn hell I would have done almost anything to have my BK lap in the woods tonight. I need it so badly today, and can't have it.

Fun & Play: SM chitchat. BK break time w/ AS chitchat. HH chitchat. Hubs time.

Socialization: I received a wonderful, amazing, sweet, thoughtful, kind email from a "friend of a friend" type friend. Brought tears, twice. It is literally just five short little sentences, but they made a world of difference on this shitty day in this shitty month. Huge. Reinforces for me the importance of all the little love notes I send.

BK break time included a big ol' brain dump to him that I built up in my head yesterday and decided to just throw at him, in an attempt to explain why I'm such a pain in his ass. The fact that he didn't even flinch at the sheer nonsense of it, nor ask me why the fuck I overthink everything...well, this is why we're friends.

Stress Management: Volunteered myself for more TS work this morning, but my lead immediately then asked what I would be giving up. LOVE HER. And then 20 minutes before leaving for the funeral I got an extensive list of questions on January that made me want to hurl things. Like my fists. Love died some.

And at home, before the wake, my doggy was missing. My little 4-legged bestie discovered his fence isn't working, and had an adventure. If hubs hadn't immediately taken control, I would've given up on life, I swear. Zero capacity left.

The wake. Better than anticipated, but still a long long day. 

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