Wednesday, January 21

  • 445a-eggs, chicken brat, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 745-ham stick, Larabar, coffee w/ CM
  • 1030-macadamia nuts, jerky
  • 1245p-chicken w/ mustard, orange, Renola
  • 430-Larabar
  • 730-chicken, fruit, apple w/ SB

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 845p-430a, 88% quality. Took at least an hour to fall asleep, and woke at 4a to prancing Hanky. This is Not Good.

Healthy Movement: Body feels better today, but I spent the entire morning debating the lunch run. I only wanted to do it if it would help the brain. I was doing better by noon, but not enough to go out. (Also annoying was worrying about how my hair would look for the all-team meeting post-run, for DUMB.) Yoga was planned but canceled on me. So, total rest day. Whatevah.

Fun & Play: Class helped lift me up a little bit from the funk. Chitchat with LT helped as well. Seems the "quality time together" issue is really quite common amongst couples! Wanted to lunch with BK to talk about his recovery strategies, but there was a speaker in the lunch room. So, some other day, gah. Progress on cleaning up phone. Hubs time at home. BB chitchat.

Stress Management: Still a bit of a mess. (Better off when I don't think about it. Obviously.)

Guilty about having changed so much that the hubs & I now have little in common. Yet I'm not about to give up any of my newfound loves, because I refuse to go back to being the person I was before. (I never want to be weak or lazy again!) And that makes me feel extremely selfish.

So how do I reconcile these two extremes? What is in the middle that we can do together? Dustin's suggestion was spending some time watching TV together. Ugh, I have a million things I'd rather do (and need to do) than waste my time on TV shows. I'm thinking that at the very least we could eat together. Because we haven't done that in YEARS. (Thanks, 100% Paleo.) I guess it's a start.

I'm also angry that this issue has severely dropped off BK communication. I'm discovering that I crave daily chitchat with my peeps; it doesn't have to be BK, but it needs to be SOMEONE, because I feel lonely without the chatter. Turns out I actually can't live in spreadsheets all day every day; I need great big huge doses of my people on a regular basis; who knew?!

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