Sunday, November 23

Gratitude: Old friends. It's a beautiful, precious thing to still be close to people who were my besties during my formative years. We are at ease instantly, catch up quickly, and laugh so very hard together. Love them thoroughly.

  • 630-eggs, sausage, toast, SB&J dinner roll, coffee w/ CM
  • 915-homemade Larabar
  • (1015-12.9m run)
  • During-toddler pack, Larabar, rice crackers, SB&J
  • 1pm-apple
  • 2-SB&J, homemade Larabar 
  • 430-Larabar
  • 530-chef salad, decaf
  • calories 2550: p 525, c 1125, f 900

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 930p-615a, 90% quality. Slept like a rock, but I didn't get up feeling rested.

Healthy Movement: In addition to left hip pain, also a tight right Achilles. Felt rather bleah all over. The trail run seemed like a terrible idea, but I packed as though I'd do it all, just in case shit magically came together. It didn't, and I'm now struggling to be proud of what I DID accomplish, even if it's less than what I WANTED to accomplish. It's still more than I would have done without my foolish friends getting me out there, and more than 0, but I finished feeling like a beat-up weak little quitter, and that's never a good feeling. Feet a little sore from the run, right more than left; left knee gave a few angry shouts around mile 11 but faded; left hip was mildly there on first lap, a little worse on second lap after the pit stop, but it didn't get any worse as I kept running on it; right Achilles was fine on the run, but tighter than left the rest of the day. Full PT before bed.

Fun & Play: Love my running peeps so much. Nature. Chitchat about 5k volunteering on Thanksgiving morning. Posted my gift request (RAKs) on FB. Lovely, enjoyable supper with two of my oldest friends.

Nature: The saving grace of that run was enjoying the winter beauty. We only saw two deer early on, and a few squirrels, but I loved watching the trail for tracks (SO MANY TRACKS) and being out in the warm day, and building a miniature snowman while walking up a hill. And I hope I can remember that, with adjusted expectations, trails can and MUST be done this winter, because the nature is, as always, worth the effort.

Temperance: Sad about my run. Took offense at BK saying the trails were easy, felt hurt by it - and then realized I wasn't mad at him but rather at the unfairness of it. They probably were easy for him. And a few weeks ago would've been easy for me, too. I'm sad at how quickly I've lost my running abilities. In a matter of two weeks I've gone from feeling like a runner on top of the world, can do no wrong, to again feeling like a meathead weightlifter who should give up running. Realizing it's probably going to take me most of next summer to get back to where I got this fall. And I'm never gonna be a good enough pacer for BK. And woe is me, blah blah blah.

And my face is freaking out - for unknown reasons, compounding my sadness - so tomorrow I turn 36 with the skin of an ugly16-year old. Hate my face, blah blah blah.

Fucked up the husband's entire day by sending him off to buy a snowmobile (to fix & resell) with a checkbook that had no check blanks. He had it loaded up and everything. 180 miles round trip. Given how pissed I'd be at him in that situation, I got right to hating on myself for it, so fucking stupid, blah blah blah. 

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