Saturday, November 8

Gratitude: Today I am grateful for Amy. I am visiting her and it's been wonderful catching up. Feels like we haven't been apart at all, swapping little daily-life details and talking about families and friends. Love her and wish she were closer, but 4 hours ain't so far.

Nutrition:
  • 5a-eggs, chicken sausage, toast, coffee w/ CM
  • 845-SB&A (applesauce!) toast
  • 11-pork jerky, Larabar, peach tea
  • 2p-Renola 
  • 4-coffee, kombucha
  • 5-Larabar
  • 7-Cobb salad
  • calories 2300: p 800, c 850, f 650
Sleep: 6.25 hours in bed, 1015p-430a, 73% quality. Ages to fall asleep, woke a few times, in/out 330a onward.

Healthy Movement: Left low back aches. Hip/core is feeling better, though. Rest rest rest. Sat many hours, stood 3 hours in the woods. Left core kept resurfacing as tight, but it was better after the driving than I expected.

Fun & Play: Bills paid, breathing room and extra vacation savings thanks to fall paychecks for the hubs. Timing with Amy worked out after all, that I could swing through Icebox! Spent 3 hours in the woods cheering on runners with hilariously fun peeps. Another incredible Brian win. Driving through rural Wisconsin's beautiful hills to get to...Amy time. Love love love.

So glad the timing with Amy worked out to squeeze in Icebox today. It was painful to think I wouldn't be there. I need to be a part of these epics, because I'll never do them myself; I'm neither physically nor mentally capable. And I'm okay with that, as long as crewing gives me the exposure I crave. Somehow there is nothing more fun than hanging out in the woods with others, cheering on runners, enjoying nature, and watching a badass friend smoke his goal.

Stress Management: This morning I pissed off Brian as he drove to Icebox. I was trying to help him, tracked down a handheld since he forgot his at home, but he interpreted it as me not trusting when he said he was fine, not believing he was fully capable of handling it. In person I think it would have gone over better, but solo he was able to attribute all sorts of extra meaning. It put him into a mental hole that he had to dig back out of, and of course that's a rotten way to go into a race, and I did that to him; so I felt soooper shitty all morning that he reacted the way he did, and was literally in tears even though it was nowhere near that level of an issue.

This mini-breakdown is purely a result of a week's worth of work stress, plus crappy sleep. So again I wonder, how will I survive Winter and tax season, when a friend being a bit annoyed with me makes me fall right apart?

I came out of it by deciding that I was only being a long-distance resourceful mother hen of a crew chief. And his reaction was based on his past (trust issues) not so much on me. That led me to thinking about the Four Agreements, which always helps to calm my crazy brain runaway train and grant some perspective. I shall remember this in the depths of February. 

Anyway it was of course all for naught: Brian never used the handheld and killed his goal anyway. He gave me a little hell when we talked after the race but seemed to have forgiven me. The euphoric glow of a goal achieved is a good time to resolve such issues!

Socialization: Seriously, there is something magical to cheering on runners for hours that is so bucket-filling. Be 100% positive, be silly, be fun, put a smile on their face when all they think they can do is grimace: it's so rewarding. And doing it with Arica & Todd & Doug was that much more fun; they were just hilarious, I was crying almost nonstop. Small dose of Brian time after the race. Giant dose of Amy time, including supper out, just me & her, no hubs or kiddo to interrupt. Truly wonderful. Love my peeps and feel restored & refreshed. 

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