Tuesday, June 10

Nutrition: Still struggling due to no food prep, then add on a shitty memory: all I brought for lunch today was a yam, as I forgot to either toss a can of tuna into my bag OR grab the package of beef hot dogs I had sitting directly at eye level in the fridge. Stupid.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 82% quality. Awake shortly after 2a, nearly h/s/g, and Lexi was licking her leg, but I popped on the ceiling fan, popped in a new ear plug (right one always falls out), and I fell back easily enough. Hanky up at 445a, though. Blargh. Got up feeling a little on the tired side.

Healthy Movement: Stiff lower legs fresh outta bed, all else is great. Session went okay, missed my max bench which made me want to cry, but really everything felt overly fatiguing today.

Dustin wanted to know my last rest day (erm...two weeks ago) but I haven't lifted since Saturday when normally I would've lifted Sunday. Somewhat-delayed reaction to the weekend's low sleep, cumulative effect of 15 straight workout days, stress of another family friend lost to cancer, what's up, weak body? (I kid.) (Kinda.) Honestly I've felt much, much worse, and recently so; I'm nowhere near as beat-up as I got this winter. When I'm truly smashed, even standing at my desk feels exhausting. But it is worth noting...it could be one of those days, or it could be an early warning sign.

Yoga with Holea revealed further proof I'm in rough shape - things did NOT feel good. Went home feeling a little defeated.

Fun & Play: Session was half with Timmy, half with Buddy. AND I got to see/chat with SuperGirl. Lovely! After yoga I went bikini shopping and I found something I like and I don't leave hating my body or self, yay!

Stress Management: My "big sister" from childhood, my oldest dearest friend, lost her father to lung cancer this morning. I am so sad that I didn't even have the anger to change my cover photo to the "Fuck you, cancer." picture. This shit is breaking my fucking heart. I have three friends who have lost their father in the last three months. This is not okay. Yet there isn't a goddamn thing I can do about it, which is what makes it so, so hard.

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