Monday, March 10

Nutrition: Fine, no issues. Wondering if I need more salt intake. Eating Paleo, and never adding it to any food normally, I probably don't get much at all. Kinda sorta need it for running.

Acne: Avoiding Uberbars for a while as an acne suspect, but not limiting Larabars too much (need the easy calories). Seems better already.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 79% quality. Clyde was up at midnight puking (and unlovingly kicked right off the bed where he was first horking, poor fellow), then puking AGAIN at 2a, and that time it took me ages to fall back, as he was basically trying to lay directly on my face. My right ear was hurting quite a bit so I couldn't lay on my right side, but was feeling crunched and uncomfortable on my left side. Couldn't win. That + DST + class + inability to sleep in = UGH. Got up in a good mood, somehow.

Healthy Movement: I feel great. Calves a little tight but that's it. Did class warm-up and demo'd moves (changed to lighter DB & KB for an ease-in week after two weeks out) and hot damn, I wanted to do the class SO BADLY. It was a little Spartacus-y, and I fucking love that. It is becoming more and more clear to me that post-Boston, I'm going to turn into a total meathead. Until trails re-open, anyway. Logged a long run (see F&P) and enjoyed the shit out of the sunshine, but it didn't go so well - calves died. Also felt the front-of-ankle pain on left side this time. Christ. Oh, well, still logging the time on the feet. Had two options: either run back to TS, or catch a ride with Holea to NSS, then run (or even walk) back to TS. So if I feel awesome, use it up - if not, take the help. Needed the help with the calves, and also needed the NSS bathroom!

Fun & Play: Hooky. Hills. (And while I don't need HILLS for my Boston training...I do need enjoyment, so this is what I came up with!) Holea.

Stress Management: On the return to TS from NSS, I learned of a brain trauma to a 13-year-old girl: daughter of Hop's boss, my former niece; skiing accident. No idea how bad yet, but I pretty much immediately started crying when I read the text from Hop. Scary situation, and SO much that could go badly. She could be fine, but she could also be mentally damaged, paralyzed, dead - just terrifying. So tenuous, our hold on life.

And as I tried to stop crying, and just walk, and send her the most positive vibes I could create, it hit me once again, a little harder than normal, that life is too short to chase someone else's dream. Like my dream of Boston. I don't much care about the idea of "running Boston" anymore - I've already done it once, remember? I wanted that finish line, though, as a throat punch to the motherfuckers who bombed us last year. necessary is that line in my life overall? I finished Boston in 2013. I didn't get to cross the finish line, but I will slap you if you tell me I didn't finish.

I think I am still doing it this year only to prove to myself that I have the mental strength to slog through all the training to reach that starting line. To make the sacrifices worth it. But isn't that a clear example of the sunk cost fallacy? I've already skipped 2014 tax season...finishing or dropping Boston has no effect. But what is the effect of 20 more run/walk training hours? What is the effect of quitting now and savoring my Saturdays of freedom? What is the effect of inspiring others to keep slogging despite the voices saying, "QUIT NOW"? What is the effect of inspiring others to quit the stupid fucking bullshit that they don't need to be doing?

I have no answers.

Temperance: Sometimes the person I most need to be nice me, hence the long sunny lunch "hour" gift to myself.

Today's #LoveYourBodyChallenge Mantra: "I love my body.  It has the ability to bring me immense pleasure in many ways if I can slow down to recognize it."

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