Tuesday, February 4

Nutrition: Another giant (in calories) breakfast, bacon & eggs & GF toast & coffee. So basically: perfection! Still aiming for big satisfying meals to avoid noshing all day, but couldn't quite avoid a snack this AM.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 88% quality. Mostly solid as a rock, but dozing in/out 4a onward. Also woke up wondering what day it was and was very disappointed at the answer. For some reason I felt like it should already be Thursday.

Healthy Movement: Body is decent. Session made me cry, just tired of feeling injured and lame. I'm not exactly injured nor am I weak, but I no longer feel excellent every hour at NSS, and that's sad-making and incredibly frustrating, and often times I'm just not mentally capable of tolerating it. I don't have the answer. (Besides "Stop training for a spring marathon.")

And yet...

I can't tell you how often I wonder if I'm not capable of Doing All The Things simply because I tell myself I'm not capable. If I could believe in my ability to train for a spring marathon, would I be able to make it happen? Or am I aiming too high yet again, and no matter how deeply I desire that Boston finish line, my body will never love long winter runs?

Am I being defeated because I'm mentally incapable? Or am I being defeated because I'm physically incapable?

If I buckle down and force myself through those long runs, am I going to emerge triumphant once again? Or just fucking broken once again?


Fun & Play: It was a long work day, and I even took work home, but it was for the training that I'm REALLY excited to do. I'm such a dork. Also boosted when I left a RAK for someone:

Stress Management: Re-read the Whole9 post about recovery first thing in the morning and again in the evening. I should probably read it every day. 

But I'm still struggling to decide...am I just being lazy, or am I just this delicate?

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