Tuesday, January 7

Apologies for those of you who saw this before you were supposed to...it published when it should have saved. I have no idea if it went out making any kind of sense!

Nutrition: Not at all hungry at supper time. Instead I finished off my pistachios, cuz I'm real smart like. Tomorrow I have to fast til my blood draw at 8a, not even coffee, so a belly fulla fats is probably best anyway.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 88% quality. Dozing in/out 4a onward; think Hop let the pooches out at 4a, and Hank wouldn't stop prancing around, back & forth into the bedroom, so I finally got up. Argh.

Healthy Movement: I can still feel soreness from the ab rollouts from Sunday, wow. But that's a good ache. Not: now the left side of my neck/shoulder area is tight as Scrooge McDuck. I nearly cried this morning, wondering what the hell is going on. My body is reacting as if I were stressed beyond belief, but my brain is actually fairly moderated, so what's the deal? Session was good for the body, but see "stress management" & the roller-coaster of emotions.

Fun & Play: Early-morning help to a coworker who took on one of my toughest tasks for budget time, and she did a fabulous job. Holea & Dustin. The return to life as an iPad owner (!!!!) and shopping online for a cover. Clyde in my lap as I watched Superman II and enjoyed some true laziness.

Stress Management: Scheduled myself a day off, finally, using my annual physical as an excuse for an entire day...but it's not until 1/31. I may need to find an afternoon before then, lest the "something" that has to give turns into "me." Why the hell didn't I take ANY time off in December? Oh yeah, my team already thinks I'm a slacker, and I'm a fresh lead who fears the uppers thinking I'm a slacker, and have been raised to feel like taking time off "just because" really does mean I'm a slacker.

Here, please enjoy the roller-coaster of emotions, all experienced within the 60 minutes of my session:
  • gym rings arrived & provided feelings from both ends of the spectrum
    • up at the sight of them, freshly installed & ready to use just in time for my session
    • down because no ring play was allowed with today's tightness
  • up when chatting with Holea about the new scarf she's making me
  • very down when explaining aches & pains to Dustin, nearly crying on the topic of running
  • up with bench press, especially as I was treated to a higher deload than programmed - the boy knows what makes me happy!
  • down between bench sets, recalling Hop's recent comment that my muscles are "getting to be too much"
    • Tangent! C-voice translation: "You are unattractive" but listen here, C:
      • it was when I flexed, for fuck's sake
      • I don't lift in order to look pretty for my husband, or for anyone; I lift because it lifts me
      • the husband is just a foolish boy who doesn't how thoroughly such comments STAB a woman
  • up post-session, when I got my NSS Christmas present & chatted further with Dustin who was determined to get me leaving on a high note - he's good
  • down as I felt unworthy of the gift, upset over the body falling apart for no reason, and beginning to worry about Boston
  • up again as I could drive back to work with the ability to turn just my head, rather than my entire body
It's god damn exhausting being inside my brain.

Socialization: Making more concrete plans for Amy's shower & visit this weekend. Couldn't be happier. But Miss Terri is on day 4 of sickness and may have to cancel. Massive sadness. We'll have to FaceTime her in. Holea. Dustin.

Nature: I haven't spent any time outside since New Year's Day. That's a huge problem for this barefoot hippie. Happily, tomorrow's forecast is back to last week's temps, so I know I can handle it for a half hour. If my shins can. Also saw 11 deer on tonight's drive home. Beautiful.

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