Thursday, October 31

Nutrition:  Great. No time to obsess about food today. 

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 78% quality. Up at 10a for bathroom. Up at 1a for bathroom and water and to let Lexi out. Took a while to fall back, was thinking about work. Gross.

Healthy Movement: Still very sore quads, but sprints did not make them any worse. Session felt great. Disappointing pulls again, but dips were fantastic.

Fun & Play: Halloween costumes at work. Celebrity hair. Fun session. Poochie fetch and indoor training. 

Grateful: For these miles:

Wednesday, October 30

Nutrition: I had a mini-lightbulb today. I was thinking perhaps I should do an OHP workout today; which led to reminding myself that would hurt tomorrow's pulls & dips, not help them; but I could be doing OHP on the weekend; but the BEST way to help to eat appropriately. Le sigh. That's not nearly as fun!

Acne: I think I have to throw away my muffins. I believe they are causing the current acne breakout that is making me hate my face. But the ingredients "should" all be okay...but they are freaking gross anyway, unless I add honey or jelly to them, so what do I care?

Sleep: 9.25 hours in bed, 845p-6a, 92% quality. Up at 2a when Hop came home, bathroom & water, fell back easily. Slept like a GD champ, the alarm actually buzzed me awake otherwise I would've dozed longer. Got up feeling awesome.

Healthy Movement: Lawd, my quads are fiercely sore from squats. DIEL? Ran sprints with Lisa at lunch, barefoot, because I am too dumb to remember to pack my shoes in the [6am] trip from one end of the house to the other. This, however, is unlikely to help my quads feel better. Probably just add soreness elsewhere. Very tired post-run, had to turn to my precioussssss, DP.

Fun & Play: Today I spent $63 on a macaroon order from the Macaroon King. I think this makes me the Macaroon Queen? Survived my final training presentation - wahooooo!! Sprints with Lisa, so we could chat during all the walking. Feeling tough & badass from the barefoot sprints. Straightening my hair for the costume was a total PITA, but I lurve being able to play with it. Curls canNOT be touched.

Stress Management: No sooner do I get finished with a giant project (training presentations) than the next batch of giant projects are thrown in my face. Want to hide under my desk for a few days. Weeks. Months. Til January?

Grateful: For Lisa. I probably would have sissed out of the run if not for a buddy to keep me accountable.

Tuesday, October 29

Nutrition: Snacky. This happens whenever I work on projects that are all gray. We accountants want black & white, damn it!

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 81% quality. Solid as a rock, woke naturally, got up feeling bomb dig.

Healthy Movement: Body is feeling great. Bring on the squats! And the pulls! All went well in session, bench was a little disappointing, though. No smooth grooves for me today. Sniff. Quads got tight in afternoon. Also got pretty tired about 5p.

Fun & Play: Early-morning messages to Ms Holea for her birthday. Fun session. Costumed Clyde. Laziness & indoor training with puppy dogs.

Grateful: For the opportunity to present the GGOB trainings. It's actually turning out to be quite fun!

Monday, October 28

Nutrition: Other than the muffin at breakfast (& supper), doing much better. Thanks, Monday! Even had me some Brussels sprouts with my eggs & sausage, and they were delish.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 845p-5a, 79% quality. Felt better than that - really solid, though I did wake at 3a & doze from there onward. Woke early enough for breakfast, though.

Healthy Movement: Body is feeling great, zero issues. Wow! During class this morning, logged 5 dips from dead-stop (fairly easily!), and 10 empty-bar OH presses, just to move a little. Logged a 3.75m run/walk at noon - right shin angry at the slope + Vibrams. Pain was tolerable, but I could feel I was doing some funky biomechanics at the knee to compensate & avoid pain, so walking seemed smarter. Brain doing okay with it.

Fun & Play: Teaching class. Productive morning. Good meeting with direct report. Sunshine. Another solid presentation in the books, just two to go! Some lazy time in the eve with all the critters. Chat with mom about the weekend and Thanksgiving...I'll be hosting both families. (Halp!) A husband who came home at freaking 7p, and had a normal night at home and a full night of sleep. Wahoo!

Temperance: More email-list culling at work email. Again, it's good stuff, but it makes me feel like I'm falling behind, and I don't need any more pressure than I already have. So if you happen to read something really extra special, please share it with me!

Grateful: For dips. They make me feel supah strong!

Read This: Successify

7 Ways to Have an Amazing Day

What if at the end of the day there was the possibility of a pop quiz? What if someone came in and said, “Get a pencil and paper out and write down your greatest accomplishments from the day. The strength of your answers will determine your ultimate success and happiness in the future.”
Would we be eager and ready to write down how we took advantage of every moment and focused on becoming better, or would we feel that terrified because we knew we had procrastinated and wasted our time? What grade would we get? Would we start doing a lot more every day?
#5 – Avoid the “Success Killers”
Just as there are a lot of things you can do to feel more accomplished, there are some things that can sabotage your efforts. I call them “Success Killers”. Some common Success Killers include: television, social media, online gaming, solitaire, gossip magazines, etc. It could be anything really. At the end of the day today, look back at everything you did and see if there were a couple of activities that did nothing to make you happier or more successful. You may want to look at spending less time with them or avoiding them all together.
Life doesn’t throw us too many pop quizzes along the way. In fact, most people experience something like a “pop midterm”. Those are the moments in life where you wake up and realize that you have wasted the last 5-10 years on cruise control. Some people lose a job and realize they haven’t taken the time to develop any skills that would help them find another one. Sometimes we are in need of help and realize we just haven’t spent the time developing real friendships the way we should have 

All good tips, but damn, I freaking love that #5. Sometimes those time wasters WILL make you happy, but you need to take the time to consider it. Because you will realize that many of them will not.

One of the best decisions I ever made was to quit watching TV shows that weren't comedy. I found myself crying at some Grey's Anatomy episode and realized I was crying over FAKE stories about FAKE people. And that my body doesn't know the difference between fake tears and real tears, so the stress hormones erupt either way. And that I was wasting a shitload of time and energy keeping up with the lives of people who do not exist, meanwhile feeling like I didn't have time for my actual friends & family. That's dumb.

Or, I'd get together with my two Sauk besties, and we'd spend most of our time talking about Grey's, but I'd have no idea what the hell was happening in THEIR lives. That's just plain stupid. It's one thing to bond over shared experiences, but friendship is about more than TV shows.

I realized that if I DID have time to kill in front of a TV, I'd ultimately be much happier if I were watching comedy (generating happiness hormones), or instead filling that time with a good book. Even if it's a book producing fake tears for fake people, I will feel tons better than if it were TV, because a book engages my brain, and all of my senses - smell an old book and tell me it isn't special! Plus I could take a book outside in the sunshine, into my hammock, near my handsome Hanky boy.

Carolla says something similar, in "Does it make you happy, or does it make you money?" Because if it's neither, then what the hell are you doing wasting your single most precious resource on that activity?

Anyway, there's more tips than that one, so go read them. Here's the link to the full post:

Sunday, October 27

Nutrition: This morning I re-read my Whole30 Summary post and used that for my shopping list. Time to get off the cookie-based eating I've been deep into. Victory: didn't even consider buying nut butter today. I did make some muffins today, but they're pretty blah, so shouldn't be hard to keep to a minimum intake. After today, at least. Fresh-baked, whatta ya gonna do? Food prep accomplished: 6 salads; pound of breakfast sausage (should cover me for the week); 4 chicken & stiry-fry meals; dozen GF fig muffins.

Sleep: 10.5 (!) hours in bed, 915p-745a, 91% quality. Woke several times thinking Hop had come home; got up at 3a to a whining Lexi to let her outside. Hit bathroom while I was up, but don't think I would've woke on my own. Dozing 6a onward. Got up feeling like a champ!

Healthy Movement: Body feels significantly better than yesterday. Side benefit to eating All The Cookies! (Kept me from feeling guilty, too.) Met Lisa to run trails at LCSP for an hour. Easy, lotsa walking breaks, but I felt like I could have pushed through an hour-long run without much more effort. Even considered adding a couple miles after Lisa left. Luckily, Chiefly wisdom stopped me: it's okay to finish feeling like you have plenty left in the tank. Which I did. Which should mean I feel fantastic tomorrow, which will benefit me far more than feeling like junk for the new week.

On that note, lookit the high-mileage week I just had!

Even better than the impressive miles: I feel pretty GD great. After the Train & Stay weekend (29m), I felt pretty GD trashed. Right now, I feel just as good as I did last week on 8 miles. Hooray, calories! My Boston plan is to work toward 25-30 miles per week already now, using a long run on Saturday plus a medium run on Sunday. Starting in January, I'll begin to shift the Sunday miles over to Saturday; hopefully this makes the long runs a lot more doable, a lot less injury-able.

Fun & Play: Sleeping in! Great run & convo with Lisa, in the sunshine. Fetch with pooches. Feeling productive. Journaling time in the sunshine. More TV & laziness time this afternoon.

Personal Growth: With all of Dustin's talk about the StrengthsFinder assessment at NSS, I looked back at my results. I took it back in early 2008, and I feel like I am a LOT different than I was 5.5 years ago, so I spent $10 to retake it today. Very similar results, except Harmony dropped down & Achiever went up to first. Maximizer fell off, replaced by Learner. The descriptions changed just a little bit; it all felt more accurate this time.

Temperance: Today I culled a bunch of email lists & FB groups & even a great podcast. Because even if they are fantastic (Rachel Cosgrove, Robb Wolf, etc), and centered on healthy food relationships, etc...they just aren't helping to stop the obsessing. I've come a long way this year, but I still have far to go. I'll keep the ones strictly about lifting (EliteFTS), but I'm ditching the rest. Even motivational ones like John O'Leary have been cut, because they contribute to me feeling like I'm not getting my shit done. I enjoy those things a LOT, but with the mentoring, I think I've got the introspection well-covered.

Grateful: For no running injuries.

Saturday, October 26

Nutrition: For the 6a long run, I consumed only a cup of coffee, 2 slices toast w/ balsamic jam, and two macaroons. (Normally I would have a full eggs & meat meal, but this was too early.) I had intended to eat a macaroon every half hour of the run itself, but I forgot about them. I don't NEED the fuel yet, so no big deal, but I DO need to figure out what I can put into my belly on a true long run, and it's easier to start now so there's time for mistakes.

After that I ate like a champ. Breakfast at Coffee Pot Cafe, homemade pizza for lunch and supper, plus all the cookies. 

This is one serving, yo.
Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 52% quality. Woke at 1245a when Hop came home (bathroom, water, cookie - too big of supper last night); and woke regularly 3a onward. But I felt pretty rested, would have put it at 80% other than shortness. Got properly sleepy just after noon, but wanted to watch some TV shows, so I did that rather than nap. Pretty brainless, so close enough. Also this way I could do some TS work. Blargh to leadership's to-do lists!

Healthy Movement: Glutes & hams still ache from deadlifts, strangely. Run went pretty great anyway, other than developing blisters. Managed 8.92 miles with zero walking, and not too much desire to do so. Thank you, running group! I did have some ache in left big toe joint, nothing else concerning besides blisters. Chins in sporadic sets today: 5x4. This pushes me up to 100 for the week.

Fun & Play: Running with others and swapping some great stories. Breakfast with the group of 4 fellow runners/addicts. A quiet, peaceful house for chores. Finally able to pay bills and see some cash-flow relief, with a big pumping-season check. (Now let's get a couple more of those, please, especially since we won't have tax season funds coming in, yikes.) Sunshine. Fetch with pooches. TV-show catch-up. Finally got the laptop internet working, after months of struggling. Felt like a genius!

Grateful: For the ROUS group.

Friday, October 25

Nutrition: Decent. Until I finished the almond butter. Gah.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-530a, 69% quality. Felt more like 90%, no barking dog, husband home (crawled in at 10p not 3a!), woke naturally. All good.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling creaky, glutes feeling sore (yay, deadlifts!), upper body tight (yay, dips!). Working on excuses to NOT run, looked at my running plan, scratched the excuses. Asked Timmy if she wanted to run trails on Sunday, she said yes, so I decided a rest day was smart after all. Saves me for tomorrow's long run, on roads, which will be a challenge even at an easy pace. Logged 6 sets of 4 pull-ups, tactical style, and started developing new calluses. Only 20 more to go for the weekend.

Uncovered a goal list that has me aiming to hit 15 pull-ups by 12/31/13. Have now put that front & center on my computer. And at home in the pantry (convenientely located near both food & pull-up bar).

And my phone.
Whatever it takes to keep it front & center!
Fun & Play: Friday, bitches! Been a fun but long week of work, more than ready to get out the door. Great convo with a direct report. Cleaned out my email inbox quite a bit, which was annoying the shit out of me, so that's actually a hugely fun relief. Great afternoon at NSS.

Grateful: For DVRs that save my good shows so I can binge-watch.

Thursday, October 24

Nutrition: Better most of today, more balanced, but insatiable at supper. 

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 10p-615a, 73% quality. Again with the barking dog: 1030p, 1230a, 515a. And every time, I got up. UGH UGH UGH. Very tired at about 11a, better after that. 

Healthy Movement: Shins aching. Initially worried me, but then I remembered the sprints were in Vibrams. Seems normal. Felt fatigued going into session but it went okay; deadlifts great, upper body lameness.

Fun & Play: Seeing the hubs in the morning. Continuing to enjoy the training presentation(s). Pleasant session. Eve laziness. TV with Hank, first time in I don't even know how long. 

Grateful: For my hard-working husband. 

Wednesday, October 23

Nutrition: A spoonful of almond butter for breakfast is perfectly normal, right? As is a pint of coconut ice cream during afternoon break with your team? (worth it!) Unfortunately, many more spoons full of almond butter when I got home...and should've been going to bed.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 830p-5a, 77% quality. Mr Hanky again barked at [whatever] at 1130p like a giant jerkface. He quit after only 20 minutes or so tonight, though I sure wish he never would've started. He's scared of something, so I can't be TOO mad, but he can catch up on his sleep all day long, while I cannot.

Healthy Movement: Body feels good, can't even tell I logged a longer run yesterday! Right hammie is a bit tight, that's it. Did a half-dozen dips this morning during my class, from the bottom, not down & up. Easier than I thought they would be, though I struggled to stop myself from reflexively giving a little jump-start with my feet. Had a solid lunch run with Lisa; slowed the pace on her behalf, and my lungs were struggling with the non-stop concept as well, but the body felt pretty damned great. Even logged sprints with Holea: 1.53m, body felt great.

Fun & Play: Foolish fun at work. Surprise treat to Chief with a silly note. Feeling confident about the afternoon presentation. A run with Timmy. Team ice cream sundae treat to our team from we leads (and the way I spent my $15 chamber bucks!) which also means leftovers for my hubs. A great presentation to the leadership team. Evening LAPW dinner.

Personal Growth: More than willing to tell people I tried giving myself a black eye this morning, despite the explanation making me look like an idiot. I love that! VERY glad that I didn't have a black eye after all - though the sort-of anxiety kept me from getting at all anxious about the presentation.

Grateful: For my lead, again. During my presentation, she was smiling and nodding and just this beautiful beaming source of confidence. Huge.

Tuesday, October 22

Nutrition: No snacks today. On the other hand, supper was chocolate almond butter & jerky. Win some, lose some.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 9p-515a, 69% quality. Mr Hanky barked at something (goblins!) from 1130p-1230a. I was up with him for a while, trying to calm him down, distract him, turn on the radio to mask whatever noise he was hearing, wasted effort.

Healthy Movement: Sitting all day at seminar. Busted out to a 5.8m trail run at Quarry Park in Waite Park. Loved it! Little doses of the SHT, though completely flat; very enjoyable. Body felt great, just a slow pace because I had to take pictures of ZOMG new trailz, and also experienced a few instances of being feeling totally lost when I encountered intersections of trails that were NOT on the map.

Fun & Play: Out of office. For a management accounting seminar, and a very good one. Leadership, presentation skills, could it BE any more relevant to my work life?

Grateful: For new trails.

Monday, October 21

Nutrition: Low-carb day, by pure laziness: almost no food at work. And chocolate almond butter at supper.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-515a, 64% quality. It was MUCH better than that; woke for bathroom at 1130p, oddly, but otherwise super solid. Musta been an active Oscar mucking up the reading.

Healthy Movement: Shins unhappy and tight; did the class warm up only. Had my session today (due to St Cloud seminar tomorrow) and it went pretty well other than a bit MEH on bench. 8am on a Monday felt like a terrible time to lift, just enough time between class & session to feel overwhelmed and a bit panicked; based on that, I should be SUPER happy with my results. At the end of the day, I realized I was at 4099 YTD. Guess who did one at home to even up?

Fun & Play: Session. Significantly more confidence for my upcoming presentations after a morning run-through. Evening puppy time.

Grateful: For tomorrow's seminar. Getting me out of TS before the 1.5 weeks of nutso-ness, and giving me a reason to run some trails in St Cloud on a day I'd otherwise just rest.

Sunday, October 20

Nutrition: Meh. Decent breakfast, lunch, overly indulgent snacks, supper. Also trying to catch up on poor water intake over the weekend, but a person can't fix that in four hours.

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 1245-8a, 82% quality. Much better than last night. Got up feeling decent.

Healthy Movement: Lotta sitting in car again; got restless but also nappy. Bounced from wanting to run, to not, and back; finally told myself that I had no good excuse, not compared to yesterday's tough-ass 100k-ers. So I went out for a short, hard 3.2-mile run that felt disappointingly tough (I ran a marathon at this pace? HOW??). 
Post-run, my right Achilles felt tight as hell so I headed to the basement foam roller. Quads were quivering going downstairs. (After 3.2m? What?) And while foam rolling, I suddenly felt awful, pukey; it took a while for that to go away. It kind of returned after supper. Thinking it was the poor nutrition & low sleep & high adrenaline all weekend. Can just imagine what kind of after-effects the 100k-ers are suffering today if I feel this janky.

Fun & Play: Breakfast with Amy before sending her off. AC/DC-filled car ride home. Good lunch with Brian at a little hole-in-the-wall that had a great burger & fries for him, and a damn good salad bar for me - win-win, & bonus win when I realized it was his first hot meal since Friday night! Bouncy happy lovey doggies thrilled to see me. A few miles to shore up the de-load week's pathetic-ness. A soft kitty, warm kitty in my lap.
Grateful: For my home. Always so happy to return, even if the "away" was fantastic.

Saturday, October 19

Nutrition: Lotta caffeine, lotta shortcuts. Jerky, cookies, apples, pork rinds, though a legit salad for supper, which had like three cashews; took my chances. 

Sleep: 6 hours in bed, 1015p-415a, 67% quality. Not just due to low hours; woke constantly. Ugh. Got up excited for the day though!

Healthy Movement: Right Achilles still tight. Not much moving today. Lot of sitting, tried to stand when I could but it was chilly most of the day, so the warm car was quite nice.

Fun & Play: Tons. Crewing was a fucking BLAST. So inspiring. Epic badassery abounded!

Grateful: That I could help three of my favorite runners today while hanging out with one of my favorite peeps. 

Friday, October 18

Nutrition: Had me a low carb day just to remind myself I could. Easy peasy, thanks to jerky and a Cobb salad that could go head to head against Doolittle's.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-530a, 87% quality. More like 97%; this night got a happy face rating!

Healthy movement: Didn't feel jazzed to run due to cranky mood due to cranky hubs, plus right Achilles still tight, but I went to the hill with Holea and found a sweet way to log downhills without feeling lazy. Knocked out 6 rounds, feeling strong.

Rest of day sitting, stuck in a car mostly. 

Fun & Play: Morning at NSS. Hills with Holea. Road trip to Duluth. Amazingly tasty supper at a restaurant right next to our cheap motel. Seeing Amy. Plotting out tomorrow with Brian. 

Grateful: That I'm not running tomorrow. Instead, I can help a phenom runner log a phenom race. And get practice crewing him for when he does something truly outrageous like Western States! And this way it's all fun, no stress. (Until tomorrow when I'm jonesing to join them all!)

Thursday, October 17

Nutrition: Decided I can give up cookies in order to keep breakfast toast and the occasional English muffin indulgence, and be satisfied with that. Also decided that it should be easy to make this a low-carb weekend just to prove to myself that I can.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 80% quality. No, more like 60%; wide awake 115-230a, got up for bathroom, water, honey, still took ages to fall back. Too big of a supper.

Healthy Movement: Right inner shin still/more tight. Lovely session, though my weight gain is showing in my pulls & dips, getting frustrated.

Did some math today (or rather, Excel did) and to hit my 2013 goals, I would have to do the following:
-burn 37 calories per day
-do 13 pull-ups per day 
-run 3.2 miles per day
First two: easy peasy, gonna smoke those. Last one...possible, but barely. That's 22 miles/week, which is nothing for someone who only runs, but a bit more challenging for me. I'd have to hit another 237 miles this year, and I've got 249 on my plan...not much cushion, especially when my plan is more of a guideline than a "must do." Or, at least, it has been. I may need to change my mindset.

Fun & Play: PTO tomorrow! Good progress on the giant work project. Session! Even more progress on the imposing work project. Rain meant the hubs was home.

Personal Growth: This morning I scanned my bookshelf for items to donate at work...I was finally able to part with the Spanish for Dummies book, as I looked at it and realized it's been a LONG time since I've seriously thought about relearning Spanish. And unlike my usual state, that did not make me feel like a failure. I can confidently say this is already a result of my mentoring work. Already able to focus more clearly on the things that are important to me and let the distractions fall away.

I had a nice compliment from Dustin: "Mike asked me if I had help from Sabrina on this spreadsheet that I made by myself. I took that as the best possible compliment on my spreadsheet skills!" I was riding high! This revealed another little clarification for me: I ADORE being known as an Excel guru, and I also ADORE sharing my skills and nuturing young grasshoppahs to expand their knowledge in the areas I feel some expertise.

Temperance: As I walked behind my mentor in the hall today, and did my usual belly-check in the window reflection, I realized I would be completely embarrassed to admit to him how much my appearance matters to me. Because it's dumb. It's a complete waste of my TAGS (talents, abilities, gifts, skills - props to yesterday's speaker!) and my [limited] energy. It's just plain dumb. If I'm nicely presented, not a total slob, that's all anyone will notice. Move on.

I was mentioning to Dustin that the weight gain is only making me upset due to its impact on my pull-ups and tight clothes, and he said, "I know you recognize it's big progress, but I also know you don't recognize just how far you've truly come for you to be able to say that. I'd say it's a PR. Once upon a time, for a long time, you measured your self-worth by that." God fucking damn, did I ever. And it's still very close to the surface, but I'm now truly aware that it's completely fucked-up thinking, and I'm doing my best to drown it permanently.

Grateful: For Lisa. Today is her 8-year anniversary, and I can't fathom enjoying TS half as much without her!

Wednesday, October 16

Nutrition: Strangely hungry much of today. Had to swallow my innate revulsion of requesting special treatment: called Arrowwood to request an allergen-free meal at today's luncheon. I was rewarded with a big delicious salad that actually looked a lot more appealing than the chicken & pasta.

Small victory in that I managed to get my food-prep-act together last night, so that tonight I came home to a slow cooker full of pork and apples and sweet onions and pure deliciousness.

Acne: I suspect that I need to finally, completely, sadly give up on cashews. I managed to avoid reacting over the weekend despite all the physical stress and excessive sugar...but that delicious cashew-containing lemon tart on Sunday night seems to have triggered some acne, despite that being my only serving of nuts for the day. I added a cashew cookie this morning, figuring that if the acne worsens tomorrow, I know for sure and have to concede defeat. But guess who had new cysts showing up before she even left work today! Total bummer. Why can't I be allergic to gross stuff??

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a, 87% quality. Slept quite solidly, though I was in & out of some weird dream around 4a onward. I didn't need to be up at 515a, but I guess it's nice to wake naturally at that time for the days that I do.

Healthy Movement: Lower back a bit stiff, right Achilles still a little tight, both hams a bit stiff, mid-back feeling the bench, but overall I am feeling good, better than my "new usual" squat recovery. I suspect that might have something to do with the light weights more than the not-class, though. Work lunch outing meant no run, but eve sprints with Holea felt good, though speed was not impressive.

Fun & Play: Wonderful speaker over my lunch hour made up for the lack of running in beautiful fall weather. Sprints with Ms Holea.

Personal Growth: Today's speaker talked about the importance of your words & their influence on others; the ginormously huge importance of the words in your very own head; your response to a situation perpetually overshadowing the circumstance itself; the need for grit.

Grit, to my delight, was not simply described as "buckle down & work hard," but rather the powerful intersection of passion & perseverance, where you will continue to go & go & go, despite setbacks or outright failures or people trying to stop you, because your passion cannot be reined in...such as me & my running & my you can imagine, I totally loved it.

It led me to thinking more about this month's journaling assignment, where among other things, I am to explore the teaching and fitness aspect more deeply. Pete said he could see a physical change as I talked about that, that my voice changed, I became animated, I clearly showed my passion for those topics. I was talking about the walk-to-run program, my class, and about helping people realize they are capable of so much more than they realize. I'm not interested in taking an athlete and making them amazing so much as I am wanting to take "ordinary" people to places they would never have fathomed. (Much like me; thank you, Dustin!) I also mentioned how much I'd like to teach young girls to run, something I still very much think about but can't visualize how to make it happen.

Grateful: For my bosses. It's Boss's Day, and it's a good time to think about the fact that I have NEVER had a crappy boss - couple "okay" ones, but mostly I've had downright AWESOME ones. I'm a lucky girl.

(And I am trying to not be sad about the team potluck day that included a "Happy Boss's Day" sign to the team's 4 leads, and that's it. But clearly not doing too well at it, if I'm mentioning it here. Or perhaps I'm fearing that zero acknowledgement on my first Boss's Day is an indication that I suck at being one.)

Tuesday, October 15

Nutrition: Today I ate no cookies at breakfast! No cookies at work! No cookies at home! And at the Grain Bin, I looked at them...and walked away. Sugar Dragon is finally fading a little.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 10p-545a, 76% quality. In late because holy crap, I saw my husband! Up at 115a for bathroom, water, and a spoonful of honey. Took ages to fall back. Somehow I felt good when I got up.

Healthy Movement: Other than tight calves/Achilles, the body is feeling damn good. Dustin even asked if I felt like running this weekend's 50k - no way do I want to put myself through that wringer, but it was nice to hear him think it's possible. He said to keep doing what I'm doing as far as training, just gradually add more road running so that when the trails snow in, the body is ready for it. I'm thinking on a normal weekend I could do the Saturday 6a ROUS outing (gotta get used to it!), hit trails at Woodland for a spell afterward, or else find trails on Sunday. A good balance. But there goes my overhead press time, probably. Boo, hiss, waah!

Session was enjoyable - all movement felt good, but my bench was reeDONKulously inconsistent; the 95x8 was everywhere except in the groove, yet somehow I think 105x5 is a freaking rep PR. Sweetness! Pulls are suffering from the excessive cookie intake leading to weight increase. Damn you, delicious cookies.

Fun & Play: Productive morning. Session. Delightful surprise love note from Holea. Chat with Joy. Productive afternoon with good news on several fronts. Husband at home. Chat with Amy about the weekend.

Temperance: Clothes are fitting tighter and I have to admit that I'm definitely gaining weight. Other than how this affects my pull-ups, I do not much care. That's a ginormous win. I know how to dress to minimize my belly's appearance and look good, which has a large impact on my daily self-image. However, I do not want to buy any new clothes, and I'm flirting with that edge, so I truly must dial it back. Pull-ups are good motivation. I mean, what kind of loser can only do 11? (Sarcasm, promise!)

In the T&S pictures shared from the weekend, the ones in which I'm wearing my Boston tank, my initial thought was: Ugh, I look fat. My second thought was: That's cuz the tank is weirdly loose & billowy. While I don't like the first thought, I am glad the second thought was not: That's cuz I am fat. I'm making progress, friends.

Grateful: For the upcoming weekend. I get to hang out with Amy in the woods, I get to help a phenomenal running supahstah have a good race, and I get to be inspired as shit. YES!

Monday, October 14

Nutrition: Scrounging for food after a weekend of zero food prep. Ugh.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 830p-5a, 78% quality. Felt more like 65%. Turned in nice & early but took ages to fall asleep, and woke constantly to dog, cats, where-is-my-husband. He came home at 5a, but I "heard" him come home at 3a, and when I woke again at 4a I wondered where he was. Sheesh. And then I had a text from him at 9a...I absolutely can't even fathom getting by on that little sleep.

Healthy Movement: Managed to only do warm-up & finisher in my class. Gold star! I had fully intended to run at noon regardless of aches and pains, after having it clearly reinforced this weekend I can run through that. However, after considering the choices to (a) log a rest day and actually recover, or (b) potentially keep aching, I decided to rest & recover so that I can feel awesome again soon.

Fun & Play: Class was fun, the boys did some impressive benching after not doing it for many months. Productive morning. Good afternoon meetings full of personal growth.

Personal Growth: Mentorship meeting, first one since the initial one. Had my assignments "mostly" done - did not nail the everyday journaling, but pretty close. Need to develop a new routine, though, without being able to take my iPad to the basement. Paper and pen?!

Met with my lead to discuss the giant project I am undertaking and will be neck-deep in for the next three weeks. Walked out feeling like I had a very good foundation to work with.

Grateful: For my lead's close control of things. This is not a project I wanted to be tossed into without any direction.

Sunday, October 13

Nutrition: Still in vacation mode. Gotta finish All The Cookies!

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 84%. Felt worse, again more like 60% due to waking constantly, but got up rested. Home too late to get in a proper nap, though.

Healthy movement: Creaky but specific aches or pains. Run felt much better than I expected; got tired around mile 4, but up to then it was great fun!

Fun & Play: The finish of our running adventure was wonderful. The drive back was even okay, as I knocked out a bit of TS work to feel accomplished.

Grateful: For finishing this weekend on a high note.

Saturday, October 12

Nutrition: I finished two containers of cookies today and started a third. I also ran 16.3 miles, so I earned 'em, mofos!

Sleep: 7.5 hour in bed, 930p-5a, 83%. Worse; I woke constantly in an uncomfortable bed with ear plugs that hurt. More like 60%. 

Healthy Movement: Body feeling great this morning. First run was brutally long. Aching everywhere. Glutes died at mile 7, calves at mile 10. Too bad we did 12.3!!

Second run was okay to start, nice easy trails, but got tough after two miles. Luckily (happily) only 4 total.

Fun & Play: Every second. Except for the stolen iPad/iPod. That was not only expensive, but a ginormous PITA that took the place of nap time. Ugh. Fuckfaces!

Grateful: That the iPad isn't too vital. I can probably live without it. Sadly. 

Friday, October 11

Nutrition: Vacation mode. I can haz cookies!

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 78% quality. Felt better than that, I don't remember waking at all.

Healthy Movement: Body is feeling great! Did a pull-up while waiting to leave for the T&S because multiples of 5 make accountants more comfortable. Definitely felt the sore muscles! 

6.05m run felt good. Strong. Fast. Happy. 

Fun & Play: All morning at NSS, and then off to the Train & Stay, best vacation evah! First run was fantastically fun. Flat Chief picture was hilarious. 

Grateful: For this vacation. It's bomb dig, yo. 

Thursday, October 10

Nutrition: Today is a cookie-free day. Just to prove I can. It's much easiser to declare this when there are no open bags/boxes besides a likely (and sadly delicious) acne-causer.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 915p-6a, 99% quality. 99%!! I did wake up a time or two, and was dozing 4a onward, but it was pretty damned solid. Delightful.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling solid other than the neck/shoulder tightness - but it's improving. Session was all deload other than pulls/dips. Dips sucked, but I logged 58 total pulls to send me over 4000 YTD. Boom!

Fun & Play: 8th anniversary at TS. Pull-up mania. New shoes from the UPS man.

Personal Growth: Apparently, as a lead, I get a gift of $15 chamber bucks on my anniversary, rather than a simple card. I immediately considered what I could buy for my team with it. That's me, and that instinctual generosity is something to be proud of, not annoyed by.

Temperance: I had a major victory on Tuesday. In my session, I never once thought about how I (specifically, my belly) looked. Sadly, that's waaaaay huge. Happily, that's waaaaay huge!

Grateful: For 8 years at TS. What a drastically different person I am since coming here! 8 years ago, I barely worked out. I had never touched a barbell, thought running a 5k was insane, and couldn't imagine myself capable of a pull-up. I was unmarried, though I had been with Hop for 4 years. We had just moved to West Union, from apartment life in Sauk. I was a super basic Excel user who did not know 1/10th of what I know now. I did not have any pets, though I desperately wanted them. I got blitzkrieged pretty much every weekend at Sidewalks. I hated my body. I was painfully shy. I wouldn't have imagined myself in leadership. I had recently relieved myself of long hair problems by getting a chop. I had no food allergies. I had no friends at TS yet, some of whom are now my besties? TS has been very, very good to me.

Wednesday, October 9

Nutrition: Whelp, I ate a whole bag of cookies today. Plus two brownies, I'm sure not gonna trade them off because of the cookies! (I know it sounds like I'm turning into a binge-eater, but the "whole bag" amounts to 700 calories. Added to three proper meals, that's entirely reasonable.) On the impressive side, I bought a bunch of junk food at the GB tonight, and I rifled through the bag on the drive home, but didn't want any of it. I wanted to get home to kraut & sausage. Win!

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-515a, 88% quality. Woke at 130a when Hop came home; was awake for a while there since I'd lost an ear plug AND Clyde was being a pest, but slept solidly otherwise. Alarm woke me.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling good. No class attendees, so I had an OH Press session that felt fabulous. (That's because I showed up for class, but no one else did. OH YEAH, they're at a retreat that I knew about, but never put 2+2 = no class. Could have slept another hour, DAMN IT. Happily, I felt like it was a sign to press, not to throw punches at my own face, though that was also appealing.) Right upper back/neck area is tight, developed more so during workout. (Then noticed that I'm tossing my hair around WAY too much. Long hair problems) Worsened throughout the day, but shins felt better by end of day. Nearly added a run, but after throwing the ball for fetch felt awful on my neck, I shut down.

Fun & Play: OH Pressing like a champ. Productive morning. Potentially difficult afternoon conversation that went well. Left work a tad early to get the fuck OUTSIDE. Fetch!

Personal Growth: Did my journaling tonight like a good girl. Did not go to my usual basement hideaway, since the hubs is out pumping and the whole house is silent. Other than the outdoor night sounds through all the open windows. Happy!

Grateful: For lovely fall days. Need to soak them in and savor them!

Tuesday, October 8

Nutrition: Two brownies at breakfast (forgot last night's allotment at supper, so naturally I made up for it ASAP); no vegetables all day because I stupidly forgot to bring any for lunch AND ate supper away from home due to KITC event. But don't worry, I did have cookies after benching. And one plus a brownie when I got home at 730p. I am turning into a Cookie Monster. I do not know why.

Acne: Several tiny cysts developing. Hm...pistachios, and possibly the salted caramel cashew cookies.

Sleep: 9 hours in bed, 845p-545a, 89% quality. Legit sound sleep, though dozing in/out 330a onward. And the cats were adamant about waking me up 530a onward, the 4-legged jerks. Had a slow-moving, enjoyable morning, walked into work feeling pretty damned good.

Healthy Movement: Shins a bit tight. Upper body a bit tight. From...sprints? No matter. Pulls suffered a tad in my session, but bench kicked ass: 115x1+fail, then Dustin had me try again after a rest: 115x2! #2 really wasn't pretty, but damn, it sure was beautiful! Got me a high five, even.

Fun & Play: Productive morning, great session, cookies as reward, fire drill into a sunshiny afternoon, NSS Excel fun as a TS break in the afternoon. KITC time with Emma, preceded by a visit with Gracie & Carrie, and Bella too.

Personal Growth: Have not been journaling past couple of nights, because I have gotten home too late to have my proper 15 minutes. Fail. But I will certainly have some time this weekend with the car ride and quiet time. Yay!

Grateful: For lifting. Who knew I would turn out to be a meathead who loves to bench press?

Monday, October 7

Nutrition: I've got the brownies figured out: if I moderate at 2/day for the week, I'll run out just before my weekend getaway, to which I can bring tons of cookies. That means one at breakfast, one at supper. I can do that. Right? Sure thing, long as we have no cookie limits!

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 9p-415a, 56% quality. Initially solid as a rock, but then woke regularly: 1a, 330a, 4a...and wasn't deep asleep between any of those;, no idea why, but that's a crappy way to start a Monday! The silver lining was a lazy long breakfast and knowing I wasn't going to do my class so it shouldn't be too painful.

Healthy Movement: Aching shins. Jacks in class hurt initially, but felt fine once warmed up. I joined in on some easy presses & pulls during class, but I managed to limit myself to that.

Heavy debate on whether or not to run over lunch, or only do evening sprints with Holea. I know the sore shins aren't a huge deal...but I also know I want to feel awesome by Friday...but it's a bee-YOU-tiful fall day (sun shining, leaves barely twitching, flat-out amazing)...finally I remembered Dustin's frustratingly logical line: "Running because it's nice out makes as much sense as doing push-ups because the sun is shining." Translation: if you should run, then run; if you shouldn't run, then don't. I shouldn't. So I didn't. Gold star, but: GAH.

I did evening sprints with Holea, and they felt pretty much fantastic, as did chatting with her. I love that chica.

Fun & Play: Great class. Spent my lunch hour using Excel to make a complicated fill-in form that simplifies life for the NSS trainers. It almost kicked my ass working on it in the eve, but I had a moment of pure elation just before sprints when I thought I had it conquered, and was showing off this thing of beauty to Holea. However, it knocked me back down post-sprints when I thought I was just finishing it up but instead realized I had a whole 'nother layer of complication to deal with. Ups and downs. But if spreadsheets are going to kick my butt, it still belongs in the "fun & play" category - you know I love that shit!

Personal Growth: I volunteered myself for a ginormous responsibility at work. After hemming and hawing. I may or may not have it delegated to me, but if so, I'm excited to step up to it and delegate off my plate the things that someone else can do.

Grateful: For the ability (time & finances) to tell Holea I can go to her powerlifting meet. I truly wanna see a "big" one, I wanna see her kick ass, and since she said that none of her peeps are going, I'm extra super pumped that I can go be her cheerleader!

Sunday, October 6

Nutrition: I forgot to talk about yesterday's brownies: muy delicioso, obvs. And there's no way they'll make it to the Train & Stay, especially not if I keep eating them at breakfast. But never fear, I shall have cookies to fuel my trail adventure! Yesterday I stopped at Coborn's in Sauk on my way back from SJU and stocked up on All The Paleo Junk Food. I've got epic awesomeness to fuel, yo!

Sleep: 9 hours in bed, 915p-615a, 91% quality. BOOM. To top that off, I got sleepy late morning & had me a two-hour nap, 11a-1p. KAPOW!

Healthy Movement: Shins a bit achey, but headed out for the AM run with ROUSers. Small group of 4 logged the 2.62m tribute run, and I followed it up with another 2.62m of downhills over on Victoria. Each time I resumed running, the shins hollered, but then they'd loosen up. Everything else felt great!

Somehow I just logged 13m in two days while feeling utterly fantastic...should I be thanking all those cookies? Right now I'm feeling so strong that I would like to Do All The Things this week, but I shall have to resist that stupidity so I can keep this feeling going into next weekend's adventure. And I'd better keep eating those cookies, right? (Don't argue. Let me have this for now.)

Mid-morning onward, lower right back felt tight. Didn't stop me from logging 6x6 chin-ups (3900 for the year!!), nor anything else I was doing, but it was a bit of a nag. I have a feeling it's mainly due to watching last night's movie squeezed over to let Hanky cozy in next to me.

But come could I resist such a handsome, snuggly pooch?
Fun & Play: Fun runs in AM. Nap time. Tons of time to get a few extra chores done, such as planting flowers & trees, or packing up my hammock (okay, that part was sad-making). Peaceful, quiet house.

Personal Growth: Last week I posted on FB asking about my gifts. I went back to it today and copied it down: they listed 40 qualities that I truly aspire to model daily.

And need to forgive myself for, when I fail regularly.

I wonder why I think it's possible to be that amazing all day, every day. Isn't the very desire to be a good person enough evidence that I'm doing the best I can, where I am, with what I have? Why can't I accept that the effort is enough? I accept that in everyone else. Where did I get this idea that perfection is achievable for me?

Grateful: For a productive weekend before two getaway weekends. Deeply appreciating the return to my normal life after the difficult, painful season of Dan's passing.

With Gratitude: 4 years of Dustin

Things I never said before 8/26/09:

·         I have a personal trainer.
·         I qualified for Boston in my first marathon.
·         I finally got a pistol squat!
·         My thumb is broken.
·         I choose to be unstoppable.
·         I wonder if a gallon of water per day is enough.
·         I did 100 push-ups in 4:10.
·         I did 100 push-ups with a broken thumb.
·         So then I just told the sales lady to bring me all the dresses they had in a size small.
·         I have to wear wristbands to prevent bruises.
·         I tore off my calluses from doing snatches. Again.
·         I love hills!
·         Hop told me I’m getting too skinny.
·         Everyone needs a Dustin.
·         I have never been so happy with my body!
·         I actually love shopping for clothes now.
·         Frostbite danger is 30 minutes in a -19F windchill, so my cutoff is -15F.
·         I ran in a -30F windchill with Mike.
·         I no longer need wristbands when snatching.
·         I won a 10k.
·         The Warrior Dash was so easy, not even worth the travel time.
·         I’m a group fitness instructor.
·         I ran a 50k just as fast as Dustin.
·         I am an ultramarathoner.
·         It’s only forward motion for 7 hours.
·         I won a 5k on my birthday!
·         Terri & I traded pull-up bars.
·         Dustin’s never getting rid of me.
·         I use a hook grip on deadlifts.
·         It’s impossible to find jeans to fit lifters’ legs.
·         Joy is my PowerBuddy.
·         I snuck my own bands & chalk into the Y.
·         Hop couldn’t keep up with my lifting session.
·         I competed in a powerlifting meet.
·         I also work at Noonan Sport Specialists.
·         My husband’s hands are softer than mine.
·         I have a squat rack in my basement.
·         Nothing feels as good as being strong.
·         I did farmer’s walks around my block.
·         The Train & Stay was probably the best damn vacation of my life.
·         I’m totally an ice bath convert.
·         I scored two kettlebells on sale.
·         Sweet, my ass is getting bigger!
·         I fucking LOVE the Superior Hiking Trail.
·         I fucking LOVE Adam Carolla.
·         I fucking LOVE Dustin.
·         I fucking LOVE my arms.
·         I spent my vacation hiking mountains.
·         I did the 10-mile dressed as Wonder Woman.
·         It’s pull-ups season, baby!
·         It’s hard to find tops that fit, because my shoulders are so damn big.
·         I can now skip rope like a normal person.
·         We finally have a trapbar at work.
·         Neghar liked my picture on Facebook!
·         I just have too many goals.
·         I have a nutrition coach.
·         I’ve got to work on my grip.
·         Check out my sleep app graph!
·         I’m doing dips to work toward a muscle-up.
·         I’m going to do 5000 pull-ups this year.
·         My elbows hurt from doing so many pull-ups.
·         I’m taking a rest day from pull-ups.
·         Dustin told me to switch to chin-ups.
·         Should my profile say “runner” or “athlete”?
·         It’s a deadlift party!
·         What, doesn’t everyone have a pull-up bar in their pantry?
·         I only did 6 pull-ups.
·         I forgot my shoes, so I just did the sprints barefoot.
·         Look, I deadlifted without bruising!
·         My forearms are now too big for this jacket.
·         I get a gold star for taking a rest day.
·         I’m all blinged out with Boston gear today.
·         Let’s go run the ski hills!
·         I’m lifting with the exact same weights as the men in my class.
·         I have a running date with Holea.
·         Actually, 5000 pull-ups could become my new normal each year.
·         I registered for Boston for the 3rd time. And immediately apologized to Dustin.
·         Absolutely everyone at NSS is amazing.
·         I need to get heavier dumbbells at home, I’ve only got 30s.
·         120# bench press PR! 225# deadlift PR! 165# back squat PR! 13 pull-up PR!
·         I’d rather be strong than anything else.
·         Dustin is no longer a want, but a need.