Tuesday, September 10

Nutrition: Give me all the fats and back away slowly.

Sleep: 9.25 hours in bed, 845p-6a, 85% quality. Dozing in/out 3a onward, but got up feeling rested.

Healthy Movement: Body feels decent. Tight calves after running in Vibrams yesterday, slight tightness right side of neck (since Sunday) but nothing concerning. Solid session but bench sucked. (It's okay, though - when stress blows up your bench, just eat more macaroons!)

Fun & Play: Played fetch with both dogs before work. Remembered my solution link for bad days. Found this link to the best of the best. Session was a mild boost. More fetch between work and the hospital. More fetch after the hospital. 

Stress: Up & down all day. Yesterday's KILL ALL THE THINGS energy has faded to The Things Are Killing Me. Bad times with Medicare & hospice wanting to move FIL, doctor and family feeling he can't handle a move. Husband under max stress, and his mood brought me low in the AM. Got myself back up after the AM fetch session, only to be brought down again by poor coworker attitudes that made me want to go work in the damned warehouse. Hid out for a while with phone & coffee, only to be made more upset by the FIL situation. Finally they resolved it, temporarily, by postponing the move for at least 5 days.

Here's the deal: if he doesn't get worse, he has to move to the Sauk Centre nursing home. But if he continues to worsen, he can stay. What the fuck is a person supposed to hope for here? Keep dying but stay comfortable? Keep living but move to a shittier less comfortable location? Fuck everything, yo.

Today I wish I was one of those emotion-less assholes who didn't feel everything so intensely.

Grateful: For mom's fractured elbow not needing a full cast. Should make her life a little easier.

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