Sunday, July 7: W30D21

Nutrition: Considering the wacked sleep, surprisingly good.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 1215a-9a, 77% quality. I thought I was going to have awful sleep, going to bed so late, so this was a delightful surprise. Quality less than ideal, but that's because at 6a, all animals forced me to get up and attend to the pooch. Amazing that I fell back.

I realized this morning that we need a ceiling fan (which we had in our old house). What a difference that would make when the A/C can't keep up with the battle against humidity.

Healthy Movement: Had a most excellent OH press session. Everything felt great! It even included some well-timed "Let the bodies hit the floor" just as I switched to deadlifts. Beastly. Chins within: 6, 5, 5, 6. Elbows good.

Fun & Play: Normally I would have gone to day 2 of this weekend's racing special (today). This year, I recognized the fun of the races wasn't worth the frustration with stupid track management, the long long looooong day (they started at 3p), the lack of chores accomplished, the super short night of sleep, or, perhaps most importantly, the lack of a bucket-filling quiet day at home. I picked up Hop from the track in the AM, and briefly felt the urge to go, but my smarter self got the best of me. Instead I got all my chores done and went into my week fully prepared. To make the day of responsibility more fun, I listened to I Can Barely Take Care of Myself - hilarious.

Grateful: For today's Whole30 Daily about body image. It led me to this post from Melicious. Given my year of "no races" and "rediscover my love of running" goals, it spoke directly to me:
My underlying motivation for all of it – the weight loss, the physical challenges, the healthy eating – has always been that I wanted to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be. Happy, healthy, fit, strong, attractive. But that pure motivation got bastardized into numbers and external measures that divorced what I wanted from what I did.
So what if I try something different? For the first time in almost 30 years, what if I don’t set a physical goal – no weight loss, no leaning out, no target time on the clock or weight on the bar.
Instead, what if I just behave like the best version of myself? Then I will be her.
The best me eats clean and sleeps well and trains hard and smiles a lot. She’s free of worrying about what number might appear on a scale or a measuring tape. Instead of being intimidated or threatened by stronger, faster, leaner classmates at the gym, she delights in their capabilities. And she remembers to encourage the people around her to be their best versions.
Finally, the best version of me knows that she doesn’t have to eat clean or meditate or practice yoga or lift heavy or get solid sleep. There is no accounting ledger keeping track of exemplary behavior for a reward later. There is no intrinsic value in checking off tasks on a list to earn a metaphorical gold star.
The clean eating and training meditation and lifting and sleeping are the reward. They are the thing.
So I’ve banished my “concrete” fitness goals. I know that “Be the best version of me” doesn’t follow the SMART goal format. I don’t care.
I’ve done it the conventional way. Now I’m doing it my way.
Because the best version of me refuses to be measured by some external yardstick.

Nice, right? It got me thinking...

What if I act like I'm satisfied with my body comp? What if I act as if I am already strong as fuck? What if I act as though I can train for a marathon any time I decide? What if I act like I'm delighted for everyone else's achievements, with no comparing to my own? What if I act like I have nothing to complain about?

What if I act like the person I want to be?

How long will it take to actually become that person?

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