Wednesday, July 31: W30D45

Nutrition: Still easy-peasy, though I have a craving for Diet Pepsi lately. Have gone three straight breakfasts with no carbs, when a week ago I felt beat-up enough to "require" a yam with breakfast each day. But I ran out of the coconut butter packets, and by limiting myself to one serving of nuts, I'm now struggling to get enough calories. I know: poor me, a tough problem.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a, 76% quality. Woke h/s/g at 3a for bathroom, water, raisins - blaming the banana I ate on the way home from Nelson at 8p. Meant to eat it right away post-Dustin, but forgot it, and thought I should get those carbs in. Gah.

Also, I am out of ZMA, have been for two nights - and have woken up those two nights. Co-inky-dink? Dunno. Caved and bought more today.

Healthy Movement: Aching feet. Aching shins. No session-related aches though! Class was "I have lats!" which entails lat pulldowns, banded pull-ups, and decel pull-ups. (Not counting any of them this time.) Elbows were great going into class, left one a bit annoyed afterward. They were also a teensy bit annoyed after yesterday's session, but not bad; ache isn't there while pulling but show up by farmer's walks. 3.75m lunch run was fantastic - walked a couple spells for Lisa, but I could've ran the whole thing with ease. Great feeling!

Fun & Play: Class. Favorite running buddy. Sunshine! Happy Mr Hanky. Ceiling fan installed in my bedroom, hooray for better sleep!

Temperance: Found some interesting information when I pulled together historical data:

  • 2008: lost 8.4 lbs averaging 1812 intake and 289 calories burned (per day)
  • 2009: lost 9.6 lbs averaging 1849 intake and 234 calories burned (per day)
  • 2010: lost 6.8 lbs averaging 1933 intake and 280 calories burned (per day)
  • 2011: gained 11.2 lbs averaging 2019 intake and 426 calories burned (per day)
  • 2012: gained 11.4 lbs (estimated) averaging 2025 intake and 472 calories burned (per day)

Yes, some of that 22.6 lb weight gain was muscle - but certainly not all: I've put on both fat AND muscle. I am a fuck of a lot stronger than I was 5 years ago, but my body shape is not drastically different, just sort of "bigger all over." Net of it all, I'm down a mere 2.2 lbs.

I do not know what to make of all this.

Is this set point bullshit and I am stuck with this body comp, without going to such great lengths that I shall feel utterly miserable every day, essentially forced choose between looks & performance? Did I trash my BMR by cutting intake too low for my output? Did stress cause all that weight gain? All of the above? None of the above?

And most importantly: how damn much should I be eating now to fuel performance & feel good - without adding fat?

Grateful: For the newly-installed doggy door. Hanky is going to be even happier, if that's even possible!

Tuesday, July 30: W30D44

Nutrition: Feeling easy again today. Team potluck even worked out okay: shredded roast beef*, fruit, and my own dish (nature's candy).

*The roast beef was sitting in juices that had been thickened with corn starch. I chanced it.

Acne: A few cysts from the weekend. No surprise. Luckily they are healing quickly with the return to strictness.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 9p-545a, 97% quality. HELLZ YEAH! Got up at 245a for bathroom, but fell back pretty much immediately.

Healthy Movement: Feet aching when I got up, bit of overall tightness that went away quickly. Shins felt okay today. That makes no sense! Session felt excellent; bench particularly bomb dig.

Fun & Play: Team potluck (kind of lame...we ate in a meeting room, for pete's sake) and decorating. Session. Farewell supper & drinks with Heather & Lars.

Temperance: Discussed Boston with H & L. It is 99% likely to be my very last chance at Boston, unless I rediscover the urge to run road marathons (certainly possible, I'm still young!) AND also re-qualify. The rest of my life would need to revolve around it: no tax firm, no teaching AM class, 9 hours of sleep per night, powerlifting meet from the sidelines, etc.

I now feel like I want to do it. 180˚ swing from, oh, ten days ago!

I have always believed I can do it if I want to do it. If this is a goal I want to achieve, rather than an obligation I should fulfill (which it turned into last year), then I will design the rest of my life to support that goal, and I will be able to do it.

The question has always been: do I really & truly want to make that sacrifice, or do I feel that I should want to make that sacrifice?

Grateful: For understanding friends.

Monday, July 29: W30D43

Nutrition: Food shortcuts at lunch (pork jerky, banana, apple) due to rushed AM dash out of the house, otherwise back to normal W30 and feeling fine.

This week I am going to track my intake to get an idea of how many calories I'm eating. Not restricting, still eating according to W30 template, just curious where it's coming in.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 915p-445a, 71% quality. But SOLID. Woke once, thinking it might be time to get up, checked phone: only 340a. Best feeling ever - fell right back!

Healthy Movement: Felt a bit lethargic in AM, slow-moving & running late, but still felt up for class. It was hard & sweaty & awesome. Noticed slight lack of mobility in hips when doing RTW lunges, and definite fatigue in low back when doing alligator crawls.

My shins still hurt, though I have not run in almost a week! Did stretches at desk in AM & post-run, 3-minutes per calf/Achilles (bent knee). Run plan called for hill work, so I did 2.98m walk up/run down (5 repeats) over by Latoka. My feet hurt (heels) as did the shins. Suck it up, bitches. After work, 2.75m (est) doing sprints with Holea.

Fun & Play: Class. Hills w/ a podcast. Running that felt good. Busy/fun afternoon of work. Sprints w/ Holea. Hanky indoor time.

Grateful: For all the people that donated to my Relay fundraising. I raised a total of $1674, when my goal was only $1000. I have such amazingly generous peeps in my life!

Sunday, July 28: W30D42

Nutrition: Overate all morning: overtired. Propped up with far too much caffeine. Moderation & normalcy returned in the eve after a nap.

Acne: Many reactions beginning. Not unexpected but still depressing.

Sleep: 6.25 hours in bed, 1230a-645a, 66% quality. Was quite solid, but far too short. We all slept indoors tonight, so that made a huge difference. Still, wish I had been able to sleep in. Very, very tired. Caffeine kept me up and moving most of the day, but after my workout, I nabbed a shower & a wondertastic 2.5-hr nap, 3-530p. Glorious.

Healthy Movement: Body is feeling good - sore shins, apparently the new normal. Starting to worry a bit about that. Workout went fantastic, and crossed 3000 YTD pulls - bomb dig! Realized the elbows didn't hurt yesterday at all, yay! Today they began to hurt a bit by deadlifts, left a bit more than right.

Fun & Play: Big breakfast, followed by send-offs, followed by blissful silence and open windows. Peace. NAP. Husband back home. Happy doggy indoors for a while.

Grateful: For my home.

Saturday, July 27: W30D41

Nutrition: Vacation mode which means too much fruit. Otherwise easy. Restaurant lunch of eggs, ham, hash browns, potential reaction there. Should have skipped the taters, but I'm human.
Sleep: Awful. In bed about 6.5 hours, 12-630a, I'd call it 50%. Woke at 130a, couldn't fall back; got up at 3a and came into bed. Just as cold, but far more comfortable, and most importantly: ear plugs. Still, woke at 430a before waking at 630a.

Healthy movement: Hips aching a tiny bit due to initial sleeping on the ground. Shins still ache just as much. Some overall tightness that improved as morning went on. 5.3m hike at Sibley felt great, easy peasy. Wanted to run!

Pretty views from the top of the "mountain" on our hike.

Calm waters.
Lazy afternoon of near-nap in the hammock, followed by more laziness. 

Fun & Play: My tribe. With me. At my place. Lovely!! Lot of work though. I'm not naturally a hostess or caretaker sort, so this kind of thing was a stretch for my patience. My peeps were worth it.

Mr Hanky had the best weekend of us all, methinks. So much attention!

Grateful: For my weekend.

Is there anything more mesmerizing?

Friday, July 26: W30D40

Nutrition: Snacky at breakfast and again mid-afternoon, but otherwise good, considering vacation mode.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 930p-6a, 84% quality. Up at 330a, almost h/s/g; hit bathroom and water, didn't eat, took a while to fall back. Probably due to eating late, 830p, dumb.

Healthy movement: Feeling some delicious soreness/tightness after yesterday's session. Like I did some great work! Felt inclined to add a run or lift before the peeps arrived, but I stuck to my plan. Only the third full rest day in the past month, probably in need. What a great weekend to deload from everything and refill my bucket to overflowing!

Fun & Play: PTO from TS to work at NSS and then finish getting ready for girls' weekend! Added extra coffee to make it past 9p. Chatting with my bests, campfire, playing outside. So happy. 

Grateful: For the house and land that allowed me to host all my best beasties.

Thursday, July 25: W30D39

Nutrition: Again craved a Larabar at breakfast, but chose an apple instead. Gold star. Again oddly hungry during session. This week I have been snacking on a packet of coconut butter (rather than almonds) mid-morning. More calories, but not as filling, maybe? Seems wrong.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 96% quality. YES. It truly felt that good, too: I was having vivid dreams (about living in a tiny cabin in the woods), and woke naturally. Feel like I had a religious experience! Brain was still a bit "meh" all morning, but session turned me around.

Healthy Movement: Lower legs & feet are still aching. Damn sissy things. Session felt fantastic: deadlift party with my supah strong PowerBuddy, 10 NG pulls again, 5 dip PR. Bomb dig!

Fun & Play: One day from girls' weekend. So excited! Great session, and with my beastie besides. Productive afternoon. Dog park with new pals Jackson and Dewey, two cute little fellas.

Grateful: For my second job. I am actually excited to go work there tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 24: W30D38

Nutrition: Evidence the poor sleep is catching up to me: Larabars at breakfast. That's not a good trend. Once again I was quite hungry today - afternoon & supper particularly (yesterday was more lunch & afternoon). I had a giant supper (and another LB, idiot) and got to bed early.

At my LAPW lunch, I was provided a special salad & it sucked: iceberg, few slices cukes, few baby carrots, few slices radish. Also? That cost me $10, and I had to come back to my work stash & eat my own chicken sausage & an apple to get a decent meal. From now on: I'm emailing in advance a specific request for a salad w/ plain chicken breast on top. No wonder people can't stick to diets if they are trying to live off a meal of 50 calories. Redonk.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 70% quality. Felt solid until about 4a. Shut the bedroom window which seemed to keep the cats quieter. Hop is now gone until Sunday so hopefully that will help me sleep better, too - I need it. Feeling junkier each day.

Healthy Movement: Magic is fading fast - mild all-over fatigue plus the (new usual) sore shins, achey feet, zing in left knee (which happens whenever I increase running). Was NOT going to do class, then decided to just do a FEW of each move for the mobility benefit, but ended up doing about 30s per station - still, cut down from a full minute. It just felt good once I got started! I did ease off the lower-body moves, made them less taxing.

Met Holea to do sprints after work, but we both admitted we nearly canceled on each other, then discussed why (lotta workouts, poor sleep, various aches), and realized it would be a LOT smarter to take a walk than to sprint. And that was a wonderfully chatty little half hour, totally enjoyable, and I know my body will appreciate it a lot more than sprints. GOLD STAR.

Fun & Play: Class was great: much talking about AC/DC, and also my weekend o' fun - Travis asked if we were all going to be spending the weekend working out. Sadly, I'm still regularly surprised by the perception that I'm hardcore. When will my brain catch up to who I am now?

Fun AM game at work with my team, a mini Amazing Race. Another very productive day of work, plus a little new-desk organizing. Baby steps.

At home, I cleaned, and while I normally hate that - it's for SUCH A FUN REASON that I enjoyed it. I almost teared up this morning when it hit me how much I'm looking forward to seeing the beloved faces of my bestest friends all in one place, for an entire weekend. I want to fast-forward right to Friday, then hit the slow-motion button so it can last as long as possible.

Grateful: For a smart workout buddy, who I only have courtesy of NSS, thus my gratitude extends there, as always.

Tuesday, July 23: W30D37

Nutrition: Easy peasy, though still trying to land on a lunch that doesn't make me self-conscious about eating amongst the team. Surprisingly hungry today - truly hungry, not just cravings. Not sure why.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 930p-5a, 66% quality. Yes, that's accurate. Woke often; cats + open windows = too much nighttime activity!

Healthy Movement: Body feels mostly good, but aches in feet, and shins do not feel good either. Elbows better today than they have been. Overall a bit MEH and I don't know if it's one night of poor sleep or a cumulative effect of being a non-stop workout machine, but either way it's probably great timing to make my weekend a long hike instead of a long run.

Session helped reinforce this as well. Second straight week of disappointing bench (just a little, yes, but mostly it felt harder than it should have) + elbows that are showing diminishing recovery...a weekend of fun, extra caloric intake, and workout deload seems to be needed.

Fun & Play: Planning girls' weekend. Had a very productive work day. Somehow have had two straight days of avoiding Facebook & such distractions. Go me!

Grateful: That almost all of my friends are going to make it to the weekend shindig. I was getting worried that my Buddy might not come and it turns out she totally is and is bringing super tasty W30 treats and now I want to fast-forward right to Friday at 3p. ZOMG SO EXCITED.

Monday, July 22: W30D36

Nutrition: Fifth week of the Whole30. Getting easier, finally.

Acne: I know this claim has bitten me in the ass before, but I think I may have made it one cyst-free day!

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 70% quality. Up at 1a for bathroom & water, though not h/s/g. I think I lost an ear plug & thus woke up to Hop's snoring. Was dozing in out about 4a onward. Got up feeling a bit tired but mostly okay.

Healthy Movement: Achilles tight getting out of bed. Inner shins sore during class jumping jacks but improved by the end, no issue with jump squats. 10 banded [archer] pulls in class. Ran 3.03m at lunch and made it two miles before I caved to the heat & threw in walk breaks. It's not even hot, body, what's your damned deal??

Fun & Play: Class. Very nice meeting with the CFO. KITC event to pick peas out at Ploughshare. Emma is still flying high over the concert.

Grateful: For my bosses. They all be awesome.

Sunday, July 21: W30D35

Nutrition: Solid. Easily.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 1115p-645a, 83% quality, but SOLID. 

Healthy Movement: Other than very tight Achilles & slightly-achey feet, I felt great today. Did some nice mobility work by cleaning & cooking, then knocked out a fabulous OH Press session. Some weird pinching in left shoulder on back squat, but was gone after that. Total of 36 pulls.

Helluva week - almost 10 hours: 4 runs, 3 lifts, 2 classes, 1 walk, & just 112 pull-ups!

I'd like to thank my increased caloric intake for helping me to feel good all week.
Fun & Play: Great progress on house organizing. Happy with performance progress!

Grateful: For almost an entire weekend of open windows. Cool summer days are so very welcome.

Read this: EliteFTS

Strength Doesn't Have a Gender
“She’s strong…for a girl.” Stop fucking saying this! This just exemplifies the whole clusterfuck of the state we’re in. What does that even mean? Strong for a girl in the context of what? A man? A man doing what precisely? Because most men I see today are weak pieces of shit who couldn’t do a pull-up or dips to save their goddamn lives. All the girls who train with me for any length of time are able to do both, so fuck that statement and that shitty double standard.
The fitness industry and society at large have ignored this concept though. Instead, they’ve created a mockery of health by presenting a gender-specific cesspool of ineffective methods and marketing specifically around the concept of how different men and women are. It’s in the health clubs, it’s in the classes, and it’s in the magazines. It’s also in the fact that until the last five years, you couldn’t find a single woman who was a respected authority on anything pertaining to lifting weights. That was the man section of the gym.
And that’s bullshit. Its total fucking bullshit and we all know it, yet we let it perpetuate somehow. You want this to change? It won’t come from liking some ridiculous motivational quote superimposed over a half-naked fitness model in Spanks. A paradigm shift in the way we all think and act needs to happen, and it starts with picking up the damn bar and putting actual weight on it.

Saturday, July 20: W30D34

Nutrition: Had a decent run fueled by my usual breakfast plus some trail mix (almonds, raisins, cinnamon), Ultima, & a salt tab. Seemed to work out just fine. Ravenous after lunch. Not the best supper at the race track: pork jerky, Larabar, sunflower seeds, kombucha. All technically just fine, but not enough veg & far more than one serving of almonds.

Sleep: 8.5 (!) hours in bed, 915p-545a, 70% quality. Woke to storm, woke often after 4a, but felt pretty well-rested. Napped 3-5p but was terrible and almost worse than no nap (got texts from hubs).

Healthy Movement: Body feeling decent. Logged my 12-miler, finally! Not easy physically, but not a mental beatdown, so it was a huge win! No typical long-run aches while actually running, but typical post-run soreness plus: tight Achilles, somewhat tight right hip flexor, and sore shins again.

Fun & Play: 2 hours at the dog park! Nap! Races!

Temperance: I am feeling 80% sure I won't register for Boston. I truly think the best thing I could do, for both my body & my brain, is to stick with trail-running, and when trails are snowed in, focus on powerlifting. I do like that plan a LOT, and it's exactly what I was thinking about before running this year's Boston.

The other 20% tells me this is my last chance at Boston, and with the right attitude, I can handle it. But when just 30 minutes of road running sounds boring and do I find that attitude?

Grateful: For fast races. They ended so early that I even got gas & groceries before heading home!

Friday, July 19: W30D33

Nutrition: After diving into caffeine yesterday, easily back on track today. Craved water and was dying to snack on sugar snap peas. Felt ravenous mid-afternoon and nommed mindlessly on almonds & raisins, not happy with that. Massive belly bloat going on, feeling quite fat. Diet Pepsi ingredient junk?

Sleep: 6.5 hours in bed, 230a-9a, 66% quality. Would've loved more time, but whatta ya gonna do; I am happy I made it that late. You can clearly see when my body (and the cats) thinks it should be time to rise:

Missed my window to get a nap in; started feeling pretty tired about 430p or so.

Healthy Movement: Body felt surprisingly good when I got up! Given how junky I felt last Saturday after RFL screwed my sleep schedule, I thought today would be feeling pretty assy. (Instead, just sassy. Hardy, har, har!) Ran Victoria with Holea, and the first one was awful like always, though especially tough on the glutes today. Still, we progressed from 3 trips last week to 3.5 this week!

Fun & Play: Sleeping in, baby. And a putzy day. I accomplished hills, dishes, and sending concert pics/vids to Emma's mom. That's it.

Grateful: That I have this awesome new house in which to host girls' weekend. I am spending the weekend cleaning (well, not so much today), possibly my least favorite activity, but it's for the bestest reason ever: my friends!!

Thursday, July 18: W30D32

Nutrition: A few shortcuts (like jerky, lotta fruit) plus 3 bottles of Diet Pepsi.

Yes, I went off the rails for the desperate need of caffeine - to keep me up through the One Direction concert & drive home. I don't care if that's a poor excuse, either; the fact is I would have been a grouchy annoying godmother if I hadn't dosed up somehow. And despite being a Marthaler with coffee coursing through my veins, 90F is just way too fucking hot for coffee.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a, 73% quality. Felt great, finally. No puking kitty, and woke without alarm. NICE!

Healthy Movement: Body feeling quite good other than feet a bit sore. Session went very well (10 pull-ups!)

Fun & Play: Morning at NSS. Session! Getting concert tickets after nearly giving up (and for cheap!) and taking Emma to see her favorite band AND getting to sit three rows back.

Grateful: That I was able to take Emmers to that concert. Hell of an expensive birthday gift, but an experience that she will remember forEVER. And so will I!

This is when 1D finally came out. She was crying, she was so overwhelmed!

Wednesday, July 17: W30D31

Nutrition: Day 31 of a Whole30. That math don't work!

Acne: Still averaging one new breakout daily. Please. STOP.

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 915p-415a, 58% quality. Most of that is due to the length, I'm sure, but also I was in/out at 3a onward until AGAIN a puking Clyde had to be tossed off the bed at 4a, at which point I felt wide awake and rested enough. I really do feel rested, but I'm hoping this 4-day weekend brings NAPS GALORE.

Healthy Movement: Got up with sore lats but that's it. Cool! Did class (man-makers) which felt rather brutal. Thus, awesome. Also, elbows are a little stiff. Come on, bitches, you gotta recover better than this! It is a zero day anyway, but still a bit concerning - haven't been hurting on previous Wednesdays. Attempted a noon run but died a mile in so I did intervals back. Right hip flexor fine during, tightened up a teensy bit afterward. Walked hills with Lisa and Baby Mac in the 90F heat after work. That felt good at least!

Fun & Play: Class was great fun. Sweating like mad! I'm very aware that I can only get away with this in my class, though. I can absolutely see the addiction of a place like CrossFit, but I can also absolutely see that would pummel me directly into the ground. Glad I have a Chief to keep me from this. Afternoon at work flew past nicely, and then I hit hills with a bestie and her baby. Can't beat that!

Grateful: For pork jerky. I will shed pathetic crocodile tears if it has to be eliminated.

Tuesday, July 16: W30D30

Nutrition: Well, here I am at day 30. Of how many? My skin is still complete shit, so I shall keep going. I'm getting so paranoid about things that I'm wondering if flavored coffee is a problem. Seriously? This sucks!

My plan is this: 1 serving almonds per day MAX this week. Then no almonds next week, if needed. Then throw in the towel and eat a pizza. Just kidding. My last few suspects are things like almonds, the artifical coffee flavoring, pork jerky (unspecified "spices and natural flavoring" & also possibly "smoke flavor"), chicken sausage (more unspecified spices), and/or anything else that previously has been tolerated JUST FINE and now is not. So fucking frustrating. I think if almond elminination doesn't do it, I might just call Midwest Natural Medicine to see what they could do for me as far as testing and ideas. I'm starting to feel pretty GD defeated, if you can't tell.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 76% quality. Terrible sleep. (I have no idea anymore what the fuck that app is doing.) I was wide awake roughly 2-3a. Woke around 4 to throw a puking cat off the bed. Woke again around 5-ish and dozed a bit. I felt very tired getting up.

Healthy Movement: Lats are incredibly sore. Yesterday's OH Press in class? Sprinting? Right hip flexor is tight, and I sure do know the cause of that one. Feet also a bit achey. Session was great for squats, crap for bench. Just an off day, thinks Dustin, and I have to agree. (That bench is an unforgiving, technical little bastard!)

Fun & Play: Session. Bought Hank a pool, spoiled pooch! But he treated it like a giant water dish. Took him to the baseball game, which he might have enjoyed more if it weren't so damn hot. Two of his favorite wrestling buddies were there, plus three new pooches. The team manager came over to chat with us, and he played chase with Hank, got him running laps. Happy puppy!

Grateful: For the bestest pet store possible; Lea's sponsors Bark in the Park night at every Tuesday home game.

Monday, July 15: W30D29

Nutrition: Solid all day (very busy, no snacky feelings, appropriate hunger) but Eat All The Carbs mode in the eve.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 915p-445a, 63% quality. I do NOT understand what is going on with the quality rating. This was a solid night; a little tossing & turning in the wee hours, but never wide awake until 4a. And at that time, I very nearly felt rested enough to get up for the day. Twas more like 93%, stupid app!

Healthy Movement: Felt great when I got up this morning. Did class and sweated out buckets and buckets. Cleaned up all of our Relay decorations, hauling and walking, bonus mobility. Skipped my lunch workout in favor of evening sprints with Holea. And Dustin, the tall fast SOB. They make me feel like I'm running in molasses.

16 NG pulls in session. 2 more at NSS after spotting Holea's 105x3x3 bench (wowee!) to bring me to an even 2800 - wowee for me, too! Elbows don't feel great. Too much pressing & pulling in my home powerlifting workout?

Fun & Play: Class! Chatting with a fellow NSS addict. Registered for my next race (Norseman 10-mile). Handed off all the LAPW Treasurer stuff, hooray! Sprints in the park on a lovely hot summer night.

Grateful: For my new desk. Lack of privacy means better productivity. Time to Get Shit Done!

Sunday, July 14: W30D28

Nutrition: Solid. Barely even snacky after the trail run. What?

Acne: Noting a restaurant meal today. A western omelet & fried potatoes, only potential problem being seed oil, but that should be a pretty small amount, hoping it's a non-issue. (Small annoyance: when ordering I did mention no dairy - which is good, because it would've had cheese otherwise, even though the menu didn't say it had cheese! Is it that hard to make your menu accurate?)

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 1015p-615a, 76% quality. Again confused by the quality, it was more like 90% in my opinion. Weird. Solid sleep, woke once or twice & then without alarm.

Healthy Movement: Got up feeling good. 8.85m trail run felt good, though I had intended two hours and stopped at 1.5. That's where Brian & Greg stopped (only they were at 10 miles) and it was just too enticing to join them. Lazy! Still, ended it feeling like I could handle another half hour without issue, and that was a good feeling.

Did a few chores at home and realized I was still feeling energized - only long run leftover was tight Achilles, both sides. So I went down to my basement squat rack and finished yesterday's workout: squat & bench & deadlift, oh my! 0 pulls today, planned rest day.

Fun & Play: Trails with 4 friends! PWO brunch with 3 of them at a new place: Downtown Diner -  tiny & delicious! Enough energy to finish yesterday's workout! Bill paying! (Yes, I think that's fun.)

Grateful: For a happy body.

Saturday, July 13: W30D27

Nutrition: Had a great big breakfast even though I didn't need it...too tired to stop myself. Big lunch too.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 1200a-745a, 48% quality. No idea why it shows that terrible again. I'd say 75%. To bed late due to Relay, heard Hop come home at 315a, but still surprised I slept all the way to 8. Sure glad I did, because I still felt low-energy all day; took a 1-hour couch nap about 315-415p. (Golf is a GREAT sport to nap to, folks: just loud enough to cover laundry noises, but nicely quiet.)

Healthy Movement: Feet a bit stiff, rest felt decent getting up. The body had no specific issues, but definite all-over lethargy; I wouldn't even call it fatigue. I think I mean it was the messed-up sleep, and not that my muscles were all shot? That sounds right. Anyway, I was on my feet quite a few hours between the dog park, bit of cleaning, & yard time with all three pets. Expected to lift after that, but I was hungry for lunch. Expected to lift after THAT, but then I napped instead. And still I didn't have the energy for the usual full-body beatdown - & figured that if I pushed & did it anyway, tomorrow's run would absolutely suck balls.

So I decided that I could cut it all the way down to press & chin. And it went great, and I racked it for the last time on a super high note: 65x4! (And only the slightest inclination to load up for squats.) I'm glad I pushed myself to get in that main lift and was completely satisfied with that focus. I imagine I'll be even gladder tomorrow. Gold star for prioritizing!

Fun & Play: The dog park was super awesome this morning. Two new pals for Hank: Max, and another Hank! And I got to spend more time with Rocky, the cutest sweetest little beagle that I wanted to dognap and bring home.

Grateful: For naps.

Friday, July 12: W30D26

Nutrition: Brain doing well. As usual I packed far too many treats for Relay, but this time I figured I would earn them and not worry about it. Unfortunately, I burned no extra calories after we shut down due to oncoming storms.

Acne: After thinking I had made it a day yesterday, I had a new blemish after all. And today, three! All on my forehead, which is odd. I am coping okay, but still seriously annoyed.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 50% quality. What? I did wake at 10p to a barking dog (toads) that I had to lock into the garage. Again it shows me in/out from about 2-5a, weird.

Healthy Movement: Felt good in AM, feet a bit stiff. 2.08m hills with Holea: first hill felt terrible, but good after that. We may need to make this a regular weekly date. Glutes whined initially but warmed up; hip flexor felt better afterward as well. Fourth hill was a walk up, run down, to train my issues - right shin whined, all else fine.

At Relay, plenty of carrying and back & forth walking, but didn't get any real distance because I was waiting for the gang o' children to leave before getting down to work. But we started packing up and shutting down about 945p. Damn!

Fun & Play: Hills with Holea! Relay, somewhat. We need to start later, and do less stuff so there is less junk to carry in. Also, the children were rather trying. So many times I wanted to demand: "Where is your mother?!" Although it was sad to shut down and go home...knowing I'd be sleeping in my own bed was rather delightful.

Grateful: For the Relay committee. So much work done all year, all day, all night.

Thursday, July 11: W30D25

Nutrition: Unfortunately more shortcuts today at noon & at supper - run run run this week, ugh. Not much for veg, but did manage fruit and limited nuts, so that's something! Had a long morning meeting that prevented a snack, and I started to feel a little awful by 11a. Does this mean I'm still not fat-adapted?!

Acne: I think I can say for the first time in AGES I had no new blemishes begin today. Cross your fingers please!

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 59% quality. Wha? I was wide awake about 1-2a (up at 130a for bathroom, Larabar, water), then out; but the graph shows basically midnight to 5a was dozing in/out. I'd call it more like 80%; wonder why that's so far off.

Healthy Movement: Glutes & hams quite sore: combo of class & sprints. Right hip flexor a bit tight due to sprints. Bottoms of feet hurt. Gee, I wonder why? No matter: walked out of session feeling better than when I went in. Love that!

Dustin told me to keep doing what I've been doing, that everything has been going great. I told him it's because I'm eating more. I'm pretty damned sure that's the biggest piece. And, here and there, I do see positive body comp changes. Tiny, gradual, but there. And not going backwards!

Fun & Play: Purple hair, man. GD was that AWESOME! They really hammed it up nicely. Moved to my new desk this afternoon: mostly fun to do some purging and be in a new place. I'm almost positive I'll walk into the payroll room first on Monday, though! Session was a delight.

Dog park was excellent; I'm really loving watching the Great Dane puppies grow up. (Weird to call them "puppies" when they are past 80 lbs!) Also, the "human sister" of the pups told me tonight: she likes my tattoo; she likes my hair; she likes my name. Awww. Her mom relayed this convo from earlier in the week:
Daughter: [something about] the girl with the beautiful curly hair.
Mom: You mean Hank's mom?
D: Yeah. What's her name?
M: Her name is Sabrina.
D: Ooooooh. That's beautiful! Like a princess!

She's my new favorite person.

Personal Growth: Finished two more books in the past few days. Go (1) & (2) short books!

Grateful: For the promotion/raise that allowed me to keep Ploughshare. We got peas today! Nature's candy, baby!!

Wednesday, July 10: W30D24

Nutrition: Doing well. Not too snacky today, hooray! Even on cookie day, when I normally nibble the stray Reese's Pieces, I had no problem ignoring them. Gold star! Black star: a few shortcuts today, because I was eating on the run again, TWICE. Sheesh. Tried to mitigate the Larabars & jerky with a bottle of kombucha. Me likey.

Acne: Seriously still getting new cysts daily. I don't understand. I am feeling so GD frustrated. I am obviously going past 30 days with this. Ugh ugh ugh.

Sleep: Forgot to turn on the sleep app; too tired? In bed 7.75 hours, 845p-430a, I'll call it 90% quality. Woke a few times but kept falling back easily. WIDE awake at 415a, tried to doze a bit, but soon I just got up because I did feel pretty rested. Which is damn good, because no alarm would have buzzed me at 5a!!

Healthy movement: Did class this morning. It felt fantastic, especially since all three of used the same weights...and guess who out-performed the boys! Nothing at lunch, ran errands instead. After work, even more errands, then 2.75m barefoot sprints with Holea, which felt pretty great.

Fun & Play: The Relay fundraising at work was a LOT of fun. It was so much fun that I decided to move tomorrow's session after all. CONTAGIOUS excitement all day long! Plus a half-hour slacker meeting with my team outside, enjoying the sunshine. Ahhhh.

Grateful: For Holea. Holea B awesome!

Tuesday, July 9: W30D23

Nutrition: Feeling fine. Little doses of snackiness but I ignored them by asking whether I was truly hungry. Guess what: "no" each time. Shocking, inn't it?

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a, 71% quality. Shitballs! Up at 245a, h/s/g. Bathroom, water, a few of the chocolate "cookies," and took a while to fall back. Woke often after that. Yesterday was definitely NOT a low-cal day, WTF?

Healthy Movement: Body feels pretty damned good. Session was fantabulous; Dustin relayed to me that last cycle, I missed my final-set bench reps every week. This cycle I've nailed 'em and they've looked pretty awesome. YAY ME!

Fun & Play: Busy busy day. Couple projects and LOTS of Relay for Life things being juggled, and was worried about missing a couple of them on Thursday.

I would have to reschedule my lifting session to attend; I started to email Dustin, but my calendar is ugly as sin, and I was unhappy as I thought about how much I didn't want to move it to another time nor share it with anyone I deleted the email. Staying with my happy "ME" time even though it means missing out on a fun event that I helped to create. That's prioritizing me, and that's fun! 

You know what else is fun? Leaving work early, even if it's only 15 little minutes.

Eve doggy training. I went in with low expectations with my stubborn ol' Hanky. He did all right. Managed well on the final "test" but was a beast waiting his turn: too antsy. Also was told by instructor that German Shorthairs are among the hardest to train. Gah!!

Grateful: That my dad can buff out the scratches from Hank's climb into my unattended car. Naughty dog!

But doesn't he look happy as a clam?

Monday, July 8: W30D22

Nutrition: To combat the post-meal snackiness, I now have a container of cantaloupe cut up & sitting front-and-center in the fridge. This morning I had about a half-dozen cubes of it. Much better than a Larabar or handful of nuts or whatever!

Acne: Week 3=over. Magic=zero. Skin is still just as terrible, with new cysts arriving almost daily. Cashews were eliminated on Friday, but I brilliantly replaced them with pistachios. I shall cut them out as well. Starting to feel like I should eat the exact same damn things every day to make this quicker (although I almost freaking do that now, ugh).

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 80% quality. Felt worse. Clyde woke me up just after I drifted off (climbing on Hop's dresser & knocking things off); wide awake at 1130p for some reason, then didn't fall back for awhile as Hop arrived home just after that; alarm had to wake me at 5. Got up cranky but improved after breakfast.

Healthy Movement: Did warm-up only with class. Felt fine, but going to be careful to stay ahead of the game this week, with Relay coming on Friday. Decorating for Relay involved putting the "HOPE" & signs out on our hillside, an hour of bonus mobility! 2.84m lunch run with Lisa, easy hills - felt great! Both Achilles still a bit tight, right shin a bit sore, but almost not worth mentioning.

Fun & Play: Teaching class. Decorating for Relay. Busy busy week.

Personal Growth: Since I achieved the original goal of finishing The Primal Connection, I need another goal. I am going to finish one of the SEVEN freaking books I'm currently reading before next Tuesday (day 30). My 2013 reading list is looking to be much shorter than 2012's if I don't get ON IT.

Grateful: For the Relay event. Super time-consuming this week, but worth it.

Sunday, July 7: W30D21

Nutrition: Considering the wacked sleep, surprisingly good.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 1215a-9a, 77% quality. I thought I was going to have awful sleep, going to bed so late, so this was a delightful surprise. Quality less than ideal, but that's because at 6a, all animals forced me to get up and attend to the pooch. Amazing that I fell back.

I realized this morning that we need a ceiling fan (which we had in our old house). What a difference that would make when the A/C can't keep up with the battle against humidity.

Healthy Movement: Had a most excellent OH press session. Everything felt great! It even included some well-timed "Let the bodies hit the floor" just as I switched to deadlifts. Beastly. Chins within: 6, 5, 5, 6. Elbows good.

Fun & Play: Normally I would have gone to day 2 of this weekend's racing special (today). This year, I recognized the fun of the races wasn't worth the frustration with stupid track management, the long long looooong day (they started at 3p), the lack of chores accomplished, the super short night of sleep, or, perhaps most importantly, the lack of a bucket-filling quiet day at home. I picked up Hop from the track in the AM, and briefly felt the urge to go, but my smarter self got the best of me. Instead I got all my chores done and went into my week fully prepared. To make the day of responsibility more fun, I listened to I Can Barely Take Care of Myself - hilarious.

Grateful: For today's Whole30 Daily about body image. It led me to this post from Melicious. Given my year of "no races" and "rediscover my love of running" goals, it spoke directly to me:
My underlying motivation for all of it – the weight loss, the physical challenges, the healthy eating – has always been that I wanted to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be. Happy, healthy, fit, strong, attractive. But that pure motivation got bastardized into numbers and external measures that divorced what I wanted from what I did.
So what if I try something different? For the first time in almost 30 years, what if I don’t set a physical goal – no weight loss, no leaning out, no target time on the clock or weight on the bar.
Instead, what if I just behave like the best version of myself? Then I will be her.
The best me eats clean and sleeps well and trains hard and smiles a lot. She’s free of worrying about what number might appear on a scale or a measuring tape. Instead of being intimidated or threatened by stronger, faster, leaner classmates at the gym, she delights in their capabilities. And she remembers to encourage the people around her to be their best versions.
Finally, the best version of me knows that she doesn’t have to eat clean or meditate or practice yoga or lift heavy or get solid sleep. There is no accounting ledger keeping track of exemplary behavior for a reward later. There is no intrinsic value in checking off tasks on a list to earn a metaphorical gold star.
The clean eating and training meditation and lifting and sleeping are the reward. They are the thing.
So I’ve banished my “concrete” fitness goals. I know that “Be the best version of me” doesn’t follow the SMART goal format. I don’t care.
I’ve done it the conventional way. Now I’m doing it my way.
Because the best version of me refuses to be measured by some external yardstick.

Nice, right? It got me thinking...

What if I act like I'm satisfied with my body comp? What if I act as if I am already strong as fuck? What if I act as though I can train for a marathon any time I decide? What if I act like I'm delighted for everyone else's achievements, with no comparing to my own? What if I act like I have nothing to complain about?

What if I act like the person I want to be?

How long will it take to actually become that person?

Saturday, July 6: W30D20

Nutrition: Fueled my run with my usual breakfast (eggs, sausage, peppers & onions, coffee w/ CM, almonds) plus coconut butter, Ultima as I ran (which didn't sit all that well), and re-fueled with jerky & a baked yam, both on the go in the car.

More long-run-day indulgences:
Yes, I know those cookies break the Whole30 rule about re-creating "technically Paleo" junk food. I'm okay with that.
Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a, 83% quality. Felt better; I didn't fully wake up at any point, though I was dozing in/out last couple hours. Good thing I didn't stay up for Hop's bonfire last night, even though I really truly wanted to. I knew I had to wake up early to be able to log my run before Hank's dog park playdate, and I accepted that trade-off.

Healthy Movement: Got up with creaky feet again, but it didn't stop me. Headed to LCSP for a successful long run: 10.02 miles! Walked early & often (anything uphill) and that made it work. Hips & feet felt good all the way through, even good for some hard pavement running & sprinting in mile 10. YES! Did not finish feeling utterly depleted & useless like last weekend. Bomb dig. Happy to have logged both a physical AND mental win with this run.

Rest of day was mostly standing at dog park, in line at races, doing a few things at home; but then I sat for 5.5 hours at the racetrack which suuucked. Happily the joints & muscles didn't seem to be any extra annoyed post-long-run, just the same old "my ass hurts and I want to MOVE" feelings I always get after sitting too long.

Fun & Play: 2 hours on trails! 1.5 hours at the dog park! Races semi-count as well, though the massive frustrations with management make me completely uninterested in returning.

Grateful: For a mini-reunion with my old racing buddy Amy A.

Friday, July 5: W30D19

Nutrition: Still feeling the need for dessert/Larabar after a meal. Even breakfast.

Acne continuing to worsen with new cysts daily. FINE, I give: that's it for cashews. I'll miss you, my beloveds. And so many Larabar flavors. 

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-530a, 88% quality. Felt worse; up at 2a h/s/g but just drank water & fell back. Woke regularly between then & 530a. Yuck. Felt fairly rested mentally, but a bit achey physically.

Healthy Movement: Got up feeling creaky. Feet felt oddly tight all day. Had planned on sprints with Holea, but she could only do morning, so I happily went with a second straight rest day. WHAT? 

Did NG pull-ups at NSS, though, every half hour: 7, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7 = 39. Not easy, and upper back/neck/shoulders barely tolerated me, but elbows were happy. Stopped before neck area got truly upset. 

Fun & Play: NSS was a great time, solo but I found some "flow." Really played around with spreadsheets & numbers, and created reporting while there wasn't as much regular work to do, thanks to their short week. (Jesus, that makes me sound like a giant nerd. Owning it!)

Walked Hank in eve to enjoy some nature - but was massively frustrated instead. Whose idea was it to get a hunting dog? One little garter snake sends him into an uncontrollable freak out. I rolled him once and got all up in his business once, still not enough. Exhausting. 

Grateful: For weekends. Finally. 

Thursday, July 4: W30D18

Nutrition: Fine between meals, but still feeling overly snacky at end of meals.

Sleep: 10 hours (!!!!!) in bed, 9p-7a, 83% quality. Don't understand how quality is that low, especially given the graph:

Felt quite solid. Woke at 4a for bathroom, again at 5a & 6a, dozing nicely in between. Got up feeling rested, finally.

Healthy Movement: Yes, I got up rested, but not energized, and body was still creaky. Zero interest in a long run. Took Hank on a long walk instead. Otherwise mostly sitting all day. No pulls, rest from them as well. Elbows do feel fine.
Fun & Play: Walking with Hank, followed by a blissful hour in the hammock. Putzed and mostly stayed inside. More hammock time later in the day. Really just a whole lotta laziness, and if you don't think I found that FUN, you don't know me at all!

Personal Growth: One of my goals for the Whole30 was to finish reading Joy's copy of The Primal Connection. Check done! Excellent material.

Grateful: Happily found that Hop was in agreement to be anti-social today, no need to deal with anyone. Exactly what I needed.

Wednesday, July 3: W30D17

Nutrition: Snackiness/cravings are out of control. See: handful of cashews AND a Larabar with breakfast. See: indulgent lunch (relatively speaking: pork jerky, Larabar, kombucha.) See: finishing off the cashews after supper. See: poor sleep AGAIN. 

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 84% quality, which is pure bullshit; 60% would be more accurate. I woke up at 215a (not registered on the graph) and lay there for a while until I got up for the bathroom, water, and a couple strawberries; could NOT fall back until after at least 315a, and felt like I was in/out constantly until the alarm buzzed. Rotten. Got up hating the world, especially my own self, because that's what my over-tired brain does to me.

Healthy Movement: Planned on a full rest day, perhaps a walk at lunch at the most. Unfortunately I am a fool for my own class; Travis didn't show, so I joined in with Bob. It felt downright awesome, actually, but I know I should not have done it. I'm pretty sure lack of recovery is the reason my sleep has been such crap the past few nights.

In class did a mixture of banded archer pull-ups, banded pulls, unassisted NG pulls, banded wide-grip pulls. Counting them all, and you can't stop me: 22.

Temperance: Nearly cried reading the Whole30 Daily again. I'm not feeling any magic at all. I'm tired as shit. I'm hating my face. I'm falling back to overeating Larabars and cashews. I'm feeling weak. I'm near tears.

And in this state, I'm planning to do a solo trail run tomorrow? Shitballs. I think I'll plan on going really early, so I can finish before it even hits 70, and I'll walk up even the smallest of hills to make it easier. Keep my expectations nice & low.

Fun & Play: Class. Day-before-holiday carefree-ness.

To turn around my mood, I did this:
-picked on Travis for not showing up to my class, by encouraging donations to his "purple hair" jar

-posted a silly picture in the Well

-Enjoyed a few of my favorites in the park

It mostly worked.

Grateful: For my sleepy sweet doggy, and forgiving kitties.

Tuesday, July 2: W30D16

Nutrition: Snacky feelings are back. See: poor sleep.

Acne is beating me down pretty good. I saw myself in the rearview mirror of my car tonight and nearly burst into tears. Getting ready for bed, I nearly burst into tears. Exhausting. Again, see: poor sleep.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 88% quality. Felt worse. Felt as though I were waking up constantly: 1030p, 130a, 330a, UGH. Almost no deep sleep on the graph, surprised it didn't register lower %. Feeling just a little run down physically, very much so mentally.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling quite decent, considering this is day 9. Session was decent, though I didn't feel all that strong. Getting tired. Handle pulls in session: 7, 6, 6, 5.

Fun & Play: Doggy training with my main squeeze Hanky!

Grateful: For my parents, who gave us their old lawn mower. Unfortunately it already needs a bunch of parts replaced, but still: very generous.

Monday, July 1: W30D15

Nutrition: Breakfast was on-the-go due to class, and much less than ideal: jerky & a Larabar. Oops. But worth the trade-off for the extra half hour of sleep.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 72% quality. Felt worse - woke once at 130a, and felt like I woke up constantly from 330a onward. GROSS. Spent most of the day feeling easily distracted & unable to focus for more than 5 minutes.

Healthy Movement: Feeling post-long-run soreness in feet, a bit in hips. Trying to avoid depression that this is after just 8.64m. Gah. Left elbow a bit sore yet while carrying bags in early AM, farmer's walk style. Shins sore, not sure if that is now to be considered "typical post-long-run soreness" or not.

Did warm-up with class, jumping hurt the shins, all other movements felt good. Went into session feeling a little beat up but dug out a freaking 100x6 bench press. Fuck yeah!

NG pulls in session felt harder than they should have, but still smooth: 7, 6, 6, 6.

Combed yard in search of Hank's missing tags. 3 acres! Figure I put on at least a mile of easy walking, that's getting counted! And where were the tags? Down in the cushion of the chair he sleeps in out in the garage. Found by the hubster who started with the obvious. Sheesh.

Fun & Play: Teaching class was fun! Session was great fun, huge mental boost from the bench progress. And the yard wandering was also fun; worked on my runner's tan lines!

Temperance: Steve asked last week if I wanted to write a testimonial for NCP. I have not replied yet, and it's been a whole week already. I haven't even been able to fill out the (anonymous) survey. Why not? Because I have this super-typical-Sabrina feeling that I failed at NCP.

I don’t know what to write in a testimonial for it. I don't feel I accomplished any tangible achievements. I used Steve as a therapist during my depression season, and just another voice of reason to tell me that I have to prioritize, I can't Do All The Things, and to validate for me that it's okay to say no. I didn't really get any new nutrition advice out of it (is there anything I haven't already seen in my endless Googling?) or create any new habits, and in some ways it only prolonged the food obsession.

I have, in fact, been doing much better since I started the Whole30 and quit tracking. It's been two weeks now and I haven't ballooned up, nor lost all performance. (Didya hear about my benching??) And mentally, I almost can't explain the complete change in food thoughts, from unrelenting obsession to "follow the rules, eat the food, move on." It's been a most welcome switch. I can't write a testimonial that says NCP helped me realize that daily nutrition tracking makes me fucking crazy!

And wow, I have just realized the utter and precise truth of the phrase "depression season." Working at the tax firm hasn't always been grueling, but for the past three straight years, while trying to add in marathon training, it's been awful enough that I am finally 100% certain that I can't do that to myself again. Or to my people. The fuck gives me the idea that it's okay for me bitch to all my loved ones about how much tax season sucks, when I am choosing to do it to myself? Suffer in silence, or stop suffering; you control it, you annoying heifer!

But which do I give up, the people at the tax firm, or the marathon training? Or both? And what if I want them both? I love the people there. I love the people here. I love the people at NSS. I want to do Boston. I want to keep up my powerlifting strength. I want to Do All The Things.

And this is my problem, you see. I guess Steve's teaching still hasn't sunk in.

Grateful: For obligation-free evenings. Tonight's yard wandering was good for the tired body and soul.

Sunday, June 30: W30D14

Nutrition: Tried to figure out how to fuel the running hobby. And recovery from said hobby. Tough challenge. Weekly food prep done except for stir fry. Ran outta time, motivation.

Acne is still fierce. Please clear up this week...I don't wanna give up my daily cashews!

Sleep: 6.75 hours in bed, 11p-545a, 76% quality. Yikes, that is not enough quantity. Definitely better quality than that says, as it's being pulled down by the short time in bed. Stayed up late watching movie, but woken by my alarm dog...need to get back to going to bed at 9p even on weekends.

2 hour nap post-run, solid as a rock. Woke up groggy & depleted as hell.

Healthy Movement: Body feeling quite good when I got up, despite low sleep. Elbows feel good but I'll save them for tomorrow's session w/ Dustin.

Had high hopes for the 8.64m trail run with Shawn, but I pretty much fell apart at the one-hour mark. I am full of excuses: 7th straight workout day; yesterday's 5x5 deadlifts; humid; no runs over 4 miles in past 4 weeks; etc. But I thought my workout recovery has been good all week; the deadlifts were only* at 135; temp was just 70F; no self-induced pressure; I had fluids when I normally wouldn't; nice slow** pace from the get-go; etc.

*Perhaps that should be "only"?
**The initial pace felt a little TOO slow, almost awkward; maybe that was part of the problem.

Post-run, I had a giant lunch, long cool shower, solid 2-hour nap, giant snack - and STILL felt totally depleted. It really just feels like I am at a point where 6 miles is a long run, sadly. At least there is this: long-run aches in hips & feet ONLY - no injury issues!

Fun & Play: Spent time outside in the early AM with Hank, getting my feet full of dew, playing fetch with him, picking his toys out of the lawn, & pulling weeds from my greenhouse. It was probably only 15-ish minutes but it did wonders for my already-happy brain! And while the run did not finish up well, it involved 1.5 sunny hours in the woods, that even included the bonus scrambling over many downed trees. And in the eve, more time with Hank including his heel & sit training. Lovely day to be outdoors!

Grateful: For the obsessive tracking that provides feedback like this:

This month's mileage is 161% of last year's June. That should be a huge step toward injury avoidance - pun intended!!