Tuesday, June 18: W30D2

Nutrition: Easy peasy today. Supper was "on the run" & "in the car" - the easy solution was jerky, sugar snap peas (nature's candy!) and a packet of almond butter. FAIL on the sugar-added almond butter. Next time: a packet of coconut butter.

Bad coffee? Here's your healthy replacement for sugar-free syrup.
Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a, 81% quality, but felt worse, more like 70%. Wide awake at 145a for bathroom, but not h/s/g so didn't eat anything. Took ages to fall back, because of course I tried to figure out WHY I was awake, tallying up calories (should've been just over 2000, methinks, so WTF?) and wondering if I should go eat something, and if so, should it be fat not carbs, and if so, what should I eat, etc. SHUT UP, BRAIN! Woke at 3a, 4a, 5a. UGH. Got up tired & cranky.

Healthy Movement: Felt pretty creaky when I got up, sore shins. Elbows good. Session was most excellent: 110x2 bench press PR, yee haw! 

Fun & Play: Pull-up variations in session were new/cool/fun. Doggy training that included (a) an hour outside, (b) an hour with Hanky boy, (c) Holea's Mitzi, & (d) Rachel's Dexter - quadruple win!

Temperance: This AM I put on a dress that was far too snug across the belly. One of my favorite dresses, and not one that belongs in my "skinny" pile, either, it's been fitting all winter. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and cry like a toddler. But then I told myself I obviously haven't added 5 lbs to my belly since I last wore it (2-3 weeks ago at most), it's got to be just bloat, and thus only temporary, and thus I will probably look just fine in it next week. Changed dresses. Looked good. Moved on. Victory!

Not a victory: ginormous cyst developing on my forehead. Feels like it will emerge the size of a tumor. Makes me want to throw that toddler tantrum.

Also not a victory: On the Carolla podcast, this question was asked: "If you have to lose one of your five senses, which one do you pick?" and without hesitation I answered OUT LOUD, "Taste." Because if I couldn't taste anything, then I wouldn't care that I'm relegated to avoiding all the "good stuff" and it would be easy to diet down and allathat. That's just sad.

My PowerBuddy shared me an article from genius Jim Wender that contained this line: This was my goal – to get back to being able to train without much thought. Which I would like to modify as such to describe my W30 hopes & dreams: This was my goal – to get back to being able to eat without much thought. So tired of obsessing.

Grateful: For my hunter husband. This morning he managed to shoot the stupid bird that has been sneaking into our garage. Birds are fine, yo, except it would start flying around at dawn, which would make Hank bark like a freaking madman, until we opened the doors for the bird to be chased out. Some days dawn is a fine alarm time for me. Most days, it made me completely regret getting a dog. No mas! Frustrating birdie is dead to the world! Sorry, dude. Better luck next time.

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