Thursday, May 16

Nutrition: GOTD is 1700 calories and only ONE "candy bar." Just a mental shift to stop relying so heavily on them.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, 2sl toast, Brussels sprouts, c strawberries, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; Americano w/ SFS; Uberbar, apple; roast pork w/ veg, grapefruit, bottle DCC; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic vinaigrette, 2c strawberries, bag pork jerky; sl toast w/ coconut oil & jam, c senna tea
Tally: 750cal P, 675cal C, 325cal F = 1750 total

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 89% quality. Woke around 330a, h/s/g, but dozed off/on for another hour. Did feel rested when I got up, and energy level throughout the day was great.

Body: Less achey upon rising than past mornings. Whee! Did half-assed class participation this morning since otherwise Bob was going solo. Focused on good form but still worked up a bit o' sweat.

Yesterday I FELL BEHIND in pulls. Ack! Evened up in my session today, 5x4. NG, and Dustin told me to rest tomorrow, too. WHAT.

Acne: Lawd, is my face reacting something fierce. It's so hideous. I had some of the BSC syrup this week, so I stashed that back into the pantry this morning. Also, as I finished my bottle of Diet Cherry Coke at lunch, my eyes narrowed: I have been drinking a lot of diet pop since starting the fat loss phase. Damn. Methinks it might be high time to go true Whole30 at least until the skin clears, then add these things back one at a time. You know: like smart people do!

Brain: Really good. The "me" day worked so damn well...although now I wish for every Wednesday off! Dream job/some day/maybe.

HOLY WOW: Today I got an email notifying me that I am re-qualified to run Boston next year.

First thought:  "HELLZ YES, I'M TOTALLY DOING IT!"

First action: forwarded the email to Dustin with this message:
I am eligible to run Boston again!
Please remind me that's a bad, bad idea.
We chatted about it in the session, and his first action was to laugh and ask why the BAA loved me so much - people try to qualify for Boston their whole lives, and I'm good for THREE based on ONE single fast BQ marathon?! I joked that maybe if I log three, I get a unicorn! Ultimately, his advice was to shelve the email, don't think about it, don't let it become a stressor - if I can. (Can I?) He's 100% right that I need to simply focus on my goals for this year, which are to love running, and get on the trails AMAP. And then see what happens. Wise old owl.

Which, and this directly relates back to my last post, is pretty much the opposite reaction of EVERYONE ELSE, who says "You must run it!" And I kind of feel like they are right, I must! Third time's a charm! But come on, brain: what the fuck do they know about how perfectly miserable my last three winters were? And just how well does Dustin know how utterly pathetic I became? (A: Nothing, and Everything...real sorry 'bout that, Chief.)

Another [tangential] thought I had was this: they say that I can run next year because I didn't get to finish this year? Well, listen up, motherfucker: I DID FINISH.

And that thought sort of leaned on me to let it go...let that BHAG of an awesome Boston go in favor of rediscovering a healthy body and a lifelong love of running...let those finances go to a relaxing beachy vacation...let that hard-to-get bib number go to someone who really and truly wants to be there with every fiber of their being because they have trained for it and are ready to rock the fuck out of it, rather than just because they can... 

This will be a tough decision - that I won't worry about making for another three months.

Grateful: That I'm even thinking about this. Hooray for the BAA's generosity, and a GIANTER hooray for a body that has not yet told me to quit running forever!

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