Friday, May 31

Nutrition: GOTD is to fast. Still craving pop, so I brought two kinds of tea with me today. Chilly like crazy, especially at NSS, but not hungry.

Consumed: 3c reg; 2c reg; 2c herbal tea; 2c herbal tea; 2c herbal tea

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 82% quality. Aunt stopped over to meet Hank so I turned in late. Back was bothersome every time I woke up, so each flip meant coming fully awake, basically. Hands kept falling asleep, dang these giant shoulders! Was dozing in/out about 4a onward. Got up feeling okay, though not exactly energetic.

Body: Back is about the same as yesterday. No running today, no sense risking further annoyance given the need to stand all day tomorrow for butchering, followed by the fun run on Sunday.

Elbows excellent but kept to NG pulls at NSS (since all I've got is a straight bar for the weekend): 8x3, well-spaced sets -- crossed over 2100 today!

Brain: Pretty good. Up early enough that I needed to burn up 10 minutes outside with Hank. Soaked up the peaceful silence of nature. Good day of work at both jobs. Laziness at home.

Grateful: For ham! Although I wanted to fire him just a little bit (for making this on Friday fast day) my husband is pretty bomb:


Thursday, May 30

Nutrition: GOTD is 1900 calories and a gallon of water. Easy peasy, though I'm still craving me a soda pop!

Consumed: 2 eggs, breakfast sausage, c yam, .25c kraut, .5c roasted cauliflower & garlic, Larabar, 4c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg; Larabar, 2c reg; 4oz pork roast, c yam; bag pork jerky, Tanka bar, Larabar; .5c blueberries, apple
Tally: 825cal P, 750cal C, 325cal F = 1900 total

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 9p-415a, 84% quality. Woke shortly after 3a and just couldn't fall back. Tossing & turning, and low back aching. Gave up & got up; felt fairly well-rested.

Body: Low back is my only problem. Feels about like it did yesterday morning, which is a step down from last night when it was feeling near normal. Popped 2 ibuprofen right away. Session modified to exclude deadlifts (sniff!) but found enough stuff that was painless. Another 2 ibuprofen afterward, and then I sat at desk in afternoon to give it more rest. Regular pulls in session, 3x4, + NG pulls, 5x3. 2 more ibuprofen before bed.

Brain: Doing well. Had a slow, leisurely morning since I was up so early that I couldn't get into TS yet. Some silly time with Hank, watching him run around the yard chasing birds like a wild beast.

Fun time in session listening to Dustin tell the intern all about me: three-time Boston qualifier (I do love how that sounds), ultramarathoner, powerlifter, 5000 pull-ups goal, mental drive of an athlete, group fitness instructor, all of it made more impressive given a non-athletic life until 5 years ago...it all really made me sound pretty awesome. Very nice to hear my highlights!

But amidst the basking in all this glowing praise, my cunty internal voice focused on this: when Dustin said, "She got really lean" in a list of things, my brain immediately screamed at me, "AND THEN SHE GOT FAT AGAIN!" Luckily I was able to shut it down then and there, but of course I dwelled on it later and wanted to stab something into my brain. I then reminded myself that when Dustin said I had a similar build to Joy (when describing HER and her incredible 235# deadlift), I fully agreed. And Joy isn't fat. Therefore I am not fat. If a = b and b = c, then a = c. If I look like Joy, I look strong & awesome. So shut the fuck up, internal voice!

BIG BOOST: a girls' weekend is now booked for July 26-28th. One downside: can't go volunteer at Voyager like I was thinking, but it's completely worth the trade-off because TERRI is going to join us! GIDDY with happiness! We might even go so cheap with this that everyone comes to my house. Bonfires! Sleeping bags! Trail hiking! Homemade breakfast! (And, uh-oh: house cleaning!!)

Grateful: For the dog park. Such fun watching Hank and Mogley wrestle like a pair of little boys!

Wednesday, May 29

Nutrition: GOTD is 1900 calories and a gallon of water. I presume this is extra important when dealing with an injury, even a wee minor one. Really hankering for some DCP lately, though.

Consumed: 2 dates; 2 eggs, breakfast sausage, half yam, kraut, roasted cauliflower & garlic, Larabar, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg; Larabar; c reg; chicken w/ hot sauce, half yam; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, raspberries in coconut milk, apple w/ pumpkin-spiced honey, c senna tea
Tally: 450cal P, 975cal C, 475cal F = 1900 total

Sleep: In bed 10 hours, 845p-645a. Two chunks, 81% on the first, and a silly 21% on the second because it was only 1.45 hours. Up at 3a, h/s/g, thus bathroom, water, 2 dates. Alarm woke me at 5a but I sent an email canceling class and fell back asleep - didn't think I was that tired, just wanted to give the back more rest; seems to be what it needed.

Body: Oof. When I got up at 3a, the back hurt like a MUTHA. Popped some ibuprofen. When alarm woke me for class, it still hurt quite a bit to flip over so I canceled. When I got up for good, it was significantly better, though I'm pretty sure that's purely drug-related, not that it's all better already. Stood at desk all day, no desire to sit (hooray!) and did a noon mobility session with my JoyBuddy. Sat in 1.5-hour meeting, but back held up okay. Nearly normal by end of day, even without adding more drugs. AWESOME!!

Acne: Finally seems to be on the wane, nothing new popping up.

Brain: Pretty decent. Productive work day, got to chat with my Joy, fun time with Hanky boy.

Grateful: For my strong, fast-healing back.

Tuesday, May 28

Nutrition: GOTD is 1900 calories & a gallon of water. I'm now relying on blueberry Larabars to get me enough calories...but will restrict to that flavor to keep consistent. I've realized Uberbars may be a problem (brown rice syrup?) so I'm definitely avoiding those.

Consumed: 2 dates; 2 eggs, pork breakfast sausage, roasted cauliflower & garlic, kraut, 3c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg; Larabar; pork roast, half yam, grapefruit; bag pork jerky, apple, 2c herbal tea; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, roasted chicken w/ mustard, c senna tea
Tally: 950cal P, 700al C, 275cal F = 1925 total

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 915p-6a, 84% quality. Up h/s/g at 3a; hit bathroom, drank water, ate two dates, back to sleep fairly easily. Intense dreams that I can't remember. Got up feeling quite rested!

Body: Feet/ankles a bit achey, but that is it. WOW!! Session went well, considering my back got angry on squats and limited many things. Otherwise all went good. NG pulls in session (7, 6, 5, 5). At home in eve, iced and hot tubbed. Ice did nothing, hot tub followed by hot shower felt nearly normal.

Brain: Really good. I had a truly bucket-filling weekend that is having a lasting impact. This morning I described yesterday as a "bonus day" rather than just another weekend day that's full of obligations and/or chores. It was just plain wonderful.

Low back pain threatened to derail me a bit, but I kept perspectice because I know it won't last long.

My 90-day lead review had some sad-making comments from my team, but honestly, they are minor. I should be grateful that my schedule (long lunch hours) is the biggest performance problem. However, there were again comments about how my personal stress makes me difficult to approach...yeah, I know. Because when I feel that way, I want everyone to just fuck off, sometimes even my own husband. I need to avoid getting that low. Or stop seeing people as another bother, and instead think of them as a break from the "woe is me-ing."

It was a crappy day to hear the schedule comment, though - because I really wanted to leave early to lay down and stretch my back. Damn.

Grateful: For the deer in my yard this morning. I love my peaceful neighborhood!

Monday, May 27

Nutrition: GOTD is to eat by feel. Long run, didn't want to restrict too much. Did well!

Consumed: 4 dried plums; 2 eggs, breakfast sausage, half yam, kraut, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; Larabar, 2c reg; Larabar, bag Cholula jerky, can Zevia; 2c reg; 2 eggs, breakfast sausage, .5 yam, grapefruit, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk; bag pork jerky; 4 dried plums, c roasted cauliflower, Tanka bar, c senna tea
Tally: 1150cal P, 725cal C, 250cal F = 2125 total

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 11p-6a, 69% quality. Wide awake at 330a, h/s/g, barking dog too. Hit bathroom, water, plums, and fell back but dozed lightly about 5a onward. Got up feeling rested, though!

Body: Felt pretty good, not creaking my way up out of bed. Inner shins a touch achey. 9.19m run was fatiguing but felt fairly good given the jump in miles. I even think I could've gone longer, but it was probably better to stop while feeling great. Victory #1: I loved it. Victory #2: no pain!
 
Chin-ups felt a bit tough so I kept 'em low: 4x3.

Brain: So good. Run was absolutely fantastic for me! Had some quality time with my beloved hammock, with my improving pooch, and my hubs. A very good holiday!

Grateful: For trails in the woods, and wondertastic people with whom to share them.

Sunday, May 26

Nutrition: GOTD is 1900 calories, 100& Paleo. Failed the first half, but I'm okay with that. Goodbye supper with Amy at The Corral, had to have ribs! Didn't need to have the extra snacks before supper, but oh, well; I'll run it off in the morning with the 50k beasts.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, half yam, side pork, grapefruit, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; pork roast w/ kraut, cherries, few c reg; apple, Tanka bar, bottle kombucha; snacking on breakfast sausage; Tanka bar, Larabar, sl egg bake, can Zevia; half rack ribs, plain baked potato, c decaf; bag peas
Tally: 1200cal P, 925cal C, 150cal F = 2275 total

Sleep: ZOMG awesome! 9.25 hours (!) in bed, 1015p-730a, 91% quality. SOLID and felt like it! Just before I got up, I had a lovely dream where I did a muscle-up followed by 20 pull-ups. If only!!

Body: Great! Elbows: perfect!! Didn't have a lot of time to lift, but squeezed in a workout anyway. FINALLY nailed some OH presses! Chins before/after workout, 5x4.

Brain: Pretty damned good, until I hugged Amy goodbye. I know it's not that far, and technology makes it easy to keep in touch, but it won't be the same. And god damn it all, I really love that girl.

Grateful: For Oscar the alpha cat who's whipping Hank into shape.

Saturday, May 25

Nutrition: GOTD is 1900 calories and 100% Paleo (fixing my term, eh). Really snacky at breakfast, let myself eat a lotta fruit. Ate lunch late which prevented any cravings battle. Mostly...I ate a whole cantaloupe today, whoa! Then at supper, I sort of stuffed myself to hit the calorie level. Should've just had me a Larabar, but was feeling the whole-food-ness.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, side pork, Brussels sprouts, roasted cauliflower & garlic, asparagus, half yam, 1/4 cantaloupe, apple, 4c reg w/ T coconut milk; bag pork jerky, 2c reg; roast pork, half yam, asparagus w/ side pork, .5c strawberries & 1/4 cantaloupe, apple, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk, 2c herbal tea; 1/2 cantaloupe; salad w/ balsamic, c yam w/ side pork & chicken sausage, 2 apples w/ spices, vanilla, coconut milk
Tally: 800cal P, 900cal C, 150cal F = 1850 total

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 10p-515a, 85% quality. Felt solid until 3a, then dozing, but restfully so. Hoped for a nap, but didn't work out - was extremely tired at 5p but was too late so I just cat-napped with the cat in my lap!

Body: Right hip flexor tight but improved with movement. 5.12m run was great; Lisa & I had planned to take it easy, and I brought Hank, so it was all about fun. Both inner shins ached early on, and right knee bothered at the end, otherwise it felt fantastically easy!

Popped into NSS for NG pulls, 5x5, every 4 minutes.

Brain: Great! Fun run in the woods, fun at dog park, then helped put the fence in at home (not as fun, but satisfying anyway). Also, sweet bonus: Hank got himself off his tie-out (that part ain't sweet, but hold on) but did not run away! He was roaming in the backyard. Hooray!! And complete laziness at the end of the day felt lovely.

Grateful: For time in the woods. It was really, truly wonderful!

Friday, May 24

Only one week of May left. How did that happen?

Nutrition: GOTD was to fast; felt very easy today.

Consumed: 6c reg; c pu-erh tea; 2c herbal tea; c NC; 2c herbal tea

Nutrition Coaching Program: I sent this chart to Steve today:

with fast day
without fast day
sleep Qn
sleep Ql
cals burned
miles ran
cals
g carbs
cals
g carbs
   1,539
      126
      1,783
          144
         7.82
        7.94
            1,500
               -  
   1,554
      132
      1,813
          154
         7.93
        8.46
            1,330
                2
   1,614
      165
      1,883
          193
         7.46
        8.37
            2,248
              13
   1,743
      177
      2,033
          206
         8.07
        8.63
            2,249
              16
   1,543
      171
      1,800
          200
         8.18
        7.94
            1,869
                5

Wow, sometimes (okay, often!) I’m really dumb. Laid out like this, it becomes pretty damned obvious why I struggled & felt SO SNACKY (and calories crept up) in weeks 3 & 4: look at that jump in activity! It can also explain why I felt rather awful Wed/Thurs this week and scaled back - I need to eat a few more calories to maintain this activity level. A good finding! But eating more without gaining fat…hmmm…what’s that level…the never-ending question. Going to start with 1900 and ease up slowly.

I'm once again revisiting the idea of a real & true Whole30, following the spirit of the program as well as eating as prescribed: no logging & tracking every single calorie, simply tracking how I look, feel, & perform. Seek that healthy food relationship again. Probably in July when I shift to longer distances and back off fat loss.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a, 92% quality. Felt like it. Pretty damn solid, though dozing 3a onward, made okay with dreams.

Body: Still some soreness in glutes but a huge improvement over yesterday. Didn't feel 100 years old when I got up! Sprint intervals with Holea felt good at the time, but right hip flexor again tightened up again like a mutha.

NG pulls at NSS every half hour: 5x5.

Acne: Nothing new, just healing up existing. My not-really-Whole30 is working!

Brain: Much improved. Good AM at TS, fun PM at NSS, vegging at home.

Grateful: For heated seats on chilly days. 

Thursday, May 23

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories, W30D4. Snacky. Wanted pop. (And a nap.) (And a day off.) Exceptions: Arctic Zero, Tanka bar. You know, I'm really only focusing on food quality, so I guess I shouldn't even call it Whole30-ing, more like 100% paleo-ing. Oh, well. No one reads this anyway, do they?

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, side pork, Brussels sprouts, roasted garlic & cauliflower, half yam, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; sl egg bake, bag pork jerky, apple, 2c reg; Tanka bar; bag apple chips, pint Arctic Zero, bottle kombucha; salad w/ basamic vinegar, asparagus w/ side pork, pork roast w/ 2T raspberry jalapeño sauce, apple
Tally: 925cal P, 800cal C, 75cal F = 1800 total

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 93% quality. That's too high; wide awake just before 3a (though not h/s/g) and dozed in/out after that. I'd call it more like 80%. Got up feeling fairly rested but still tired.

Body: Aching. Glutes are VERY sore today. Really feeling those dips, too. Sat for couple hours in AM, meetings in PM. Planned to run right up until 20 minutes before noon, when I realized I was not just mentally drained, but also physically, and felt in desperate need of a nap. I didn't want to run - and thus, shouldn't - except I did want to run with Lisa to catch up. But we shall run trails on Saturday instead, so it'll be okay. Pulls completely forgotten, too used to rest days!

Brain: Tired but able to appreciate the sun and May greenness on the drive in. But tired. A little BLEAH & cranky, spacey & a little useless, worsening as the morning went on. At lunch I drove to the Grain Bin for an errand, but also bought a snack-filled lunch, then drove to the farmhouse, parked in the shade, opened my windows, and listened to a funny podcast while I ate. It was EXACTLY what my brain needed. Food was a big mental indulgence, it was fairly quiet, and the green helped a TON. A little boost after arrangements to run at SJU on Monday morning with the 50k beasts. Eve boost of fun at the dog park with Hank's Great Dane buddies.

And serious jealousy learning Dustin & Mike got to climb the Manitou Incline. I read about that in Runner's World last year sometime, and immediately wanted to DO EET. I started telling Hop about it tonight and he said, "Yeah, yeah, you told me about that thing once already." So, clearly on my bucket list. Must do!

Grateful: That I have a Chief who thinks like this:
The sign of a really excellent routine is one which places great demands on the athlete, yet produces progressive long-term improvement without soreness, injury, or the athlete ever feeling thoroughly depleted. Any fool can create a program that is so demanding that it would virtually kill the toughest Marine...but not any fool can create a tough program that produces progress without unnecessary pain. 
-Dr. Mel C. Siff
Because, left to my own devices, I am simply a complete fool. I suspect today's fatigue & poor recovery is not just poor sleep but also because I don't think my body likes my class all that much. Or at least, not without more calories. But my brain loves my class! How to win that battle?

Wednesday, May 22

Nutrition: GOTD is 1700 calories and W30D3 (exception: Uberbar). Tried chopping off 100 calories so that I can match my lowest week since I began this round of fat loss w/ Steve.

Consumed: bag jerky, Uberbar, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; plain Americano; egg bake, grapefruit, apple, 2c reg; taco salad (iceberg, salsa, pico, tomatoes, black olives, seasoned beef & chicken), 2c reg; apple, 2c decaf; bag jerky; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, c strawberries, protein pudding (.5s powder + 2T coconut milk), 2c tea, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk
Tally: 825cal P, 550cal C, 350cal F = 1725 total

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a, 92% quality. Up for b/r at midnight AGAIN, woke at 3 and dozed in/out after that. Got up feeling rested.

Body: OOF. Rather sore all over, glutes primarily, hams secondarily, lats & arms as icing on the cake (but it's a good hurt). Did class anyway, as noon meeting blocked that workout option. Dead-leg NG pulls before (4) and after (5, 3).

Wearing pointy-toed tiny heels for the second straight day, and feeling a vague ache in left big toe joint (not a good hurt). Oh, pretty shoes, why must you be so cruel to my feets?

Acne: I have a new round of blemishes...Sunday's lunch, I imagine. GD.

Brain: Great workout, good work day, but a frustrating eve at home: inspecting water in basement (boo) with Hop & Hank, and Hank ran off (boo). To be returned by the neighbor with cattle who implied that Hank is likely to get shot next time he visits (fuck me, I can't argue with the man's livelihood). I just don't know why Hank ran off when we were right there to be trekked around with: we were in a basement he didn't have access to, he should have been more than happy to stick around. But after he came back: sweet as peach pie. WHAT DO I DO WITH HIM?

I am set to meet with Steve on Friday for the final meeting of my NCP agreement...I don't think I'll extend or renew. This weekly Friday-fast-day plan is working quite well for me, so I'll stick with it until it doesn't. It's gradual and slow progress, yes, but it's progress, and more importantly the body and brain are feeling really good, so why should I change anything?

Interesting thing happened today: read both Brian's & Greg's race reports, and they made me want to hit trails. Though not run a race, per se. Just get in the woods. Including for my summer vacation. Even backpacking sounds awesome! Even when I got the email on the Norseman Trail Run, I still couldn't decide if I'd do it or just volunteer at it. Anti-race mode.

Another interesting thing today: had a coworker tell me I "need to go back" to Boston but found myself immediately thinking "NO I DON'T" and trying to make him understand I was very hesitant to decide yet. And yet, when I got another email from BAA asking me to confirm my eligibility, I thought it was about to tell me I needed to register NOW (not August) and my gut was saying YES I WILL.

I am a mess...if I think about it all. Which, actually, I'm not. This is just where all the brain vomit is channeled. And why you shouldn't bother reading it.

Grateful: For sunshine. Basked in it a little bit in the eve, finally.

Tuesday, May 21

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and Whole30 day 2 (exception: Larabar). No toast or Americano cravings this AM, excellent! Got really cold, as if I were fasting, just before 11a, so I added an extra snack. Odd. Otherwise good, except for discovering I've been underestimating pork & yam calories. Oops.

Consumed: 2 eggs, side pork, Brussels sprouts, roasted cauliflower & garlic, c yam, 3c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg; 2 egg bakes, grapefruit, 2c reg; Larabar; pork roast, c yam, apple; salad w/ balsamic, bag peas, grapefruit, apple
650cal P, 1075cal C, 150cal F = 1775 total

Sleep: 9.25 hours in bed (!), 845p-6a, 81% quality. Felt much better than that, though I was up for b/r at midnight, weirdly. I'd blame the % on Oscar again, as I do remember dozing in/out for the last couple hours, maybe, but intense dreams were happening. Alarm woke me, but I felt very rested.

Body: Slight aches in shins, which doesn't make much sense, but given no soreness anywhere else: hooray! Excellent session w/ NG pulls: 8, 6, 5, 4 - now ahead by 3 for my goal. Hip, hip, hooray!

Something "small" and more nebulous than a PR, but more awesome from a big-picture viewpoint: the elbows feel just fine! (Thanks, Chief.)

Brain: Very good. Good morning with pooch (Hop testing fence a bit with him) though he is still in the garage today. Enjoyed blooming trees and flowers - just in a good mental place. Productive work day. Ran into Holea while grocery shopping (15+ lbs pure produce, thankyouverymuch). 

Hop suffered the evening Hank frustrations, as he once again ran off. Fence testing shows no weaknesses; I believe he is simply powering through the shock in search of fun. Now, how the hell do we deal with that?

Grateful: That Dustin gave me this description yesterday: "Three-time Boston qualifier!" I laughed so hard. It really needs an asterisk, but hey, it's still true!

Monday, May 20

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and Whole30-style intake. Gotta get this going, I'm hating my face too much. 'Twas easy-peasy to manage today. Exception: can Zevia.

Consumed: dried plums; egg, chicken sausage, side pork, roasted cauliflower & garlic, Brussels sprouts, half sweet potato, 3c reg w/ 2T coconut milk; 2c reg; 2sl egg bake, banana, 2c reg; pork roast, half sweet potato, apple, can Zevia; bag jerky; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, grapefruit, bag peas, c senna tea
Tally: 775cal P, 750cal C, 75cal F = 1800 total

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 51% quality. Wow, it was bad, but not THAT bad. Wide awake at 1, h/s/g, up for b/r, plums, water, took ages to fall back. No idea why, yesterday's calories & macros were spot on. Argh! Sleep graph shows very light sleep after that, which feels possible, but also could've just been Oscar being angsty, as Clyde spent the night in the garage.

Body: A little blah in the AM. Did class warm-up and felt seriously fatigued all over. What the?

Good thing I got it out of the way before session, where I nailed a bench press PR of 115. YEAH!! Also logged NG pulls, 6/7/6/5, now just a teensy little 7 behind schedule.

Acne: Kicking off a Whole30 eating plan until the skin clears up, then will add back things one by one. God damn, I wanted toast this morning. And an Americano. Otherwise, no problemo.

Brain: Annoying start to the day was Hank barking his head off just before 6am. Turns out Clyde was in the garage (all night??) and when I (like an IDIOT) tried to carry him into the house with Hank barking and jumping right there, he naturally Flipped The Fuck Out and swung claws and teeth and landed two nice neat round little tooth holes on my arm...felt so jarring, like he hit bone or something, and I ended up dropping him on the floor! Good thing he's had all his shots.

Work was fine, a productive day.

Today Dustin told me to start thinking about my options for the next round of programming, but I’m really enjoying feeling good so I don't know that I want to change anything. As I'm also liking all of the moves, challenged but nothing intimidating, I think I’m probably good staying here for now. But here’s an example of my stupid, stupid brain: he said he’s been thinking maybe we could add on some conditioning, but yet if I can run without injury and do my class when I feel like it and generally feel pretty good every day, then maybe that’s a bad idea - but what do “I” want and is my body comp moving in the right direction and BOOM do you know what my brain instantly translated that to? “You’re not dropping any fat, you look the same, we need to give you some conditioning.” Shut up, stupid cunty bitch in my head! I have noticed changes but they are pretty subtle, as they should be at only .5 lbs/week. Dustin don’t see me nekkid, he ain’t gonna see those changes yet. And oh yeah, he wasn't insinuating that I'm not making progress, he was just laying out the considerations I should take a look at. Seriously, where do I get a new brain?

 Grateful: For sugar snap peas. Nature's candy!

Sunday, May 19

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and three meals, no snacks. Quite easy today: good rest, busy, outside.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, side pork, Brussels sprouts, roasted garlic & cauliflower, 2sl toast, grapefruit, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2 eggs, hamburger patty, American fries, 2 apples, many c reg (forgot supps); can Zevia; salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette & whole avocado, roast pork, 2sl toast w/ .5T coconut oil & T jelly, senna tea
Tally: 650cal P, 700cal C, 450cal F = 1800 total

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 11p-715a, 86% quality. Looks like I woke up at 3, but I don't actually remember it. Got up a little tired yet, but rest of the day energy was good.

Body: Stiff and creaky in AM. Loosened up okay, spent day doing chores, easy gardening, barefoot or Vibrams the whole time. Did some playing with Hank; ran a tiny bit in the yard with him, just 30s or so, and lower legs, ankles, etc all felt stiff - but given 5 miles in Vibrams yesterday: pretty darn awesome! Finally had a Sunday with time to OH press, but have Dustin tomorrow and needed a rest day. No pulls either, resting the elbows.

BrainWhen I checked the time at 715a, the phone showed me I had a voicemail from my eastern neighbor, telling me Hank was spotted near the creek, so it was a poor start to my day. Drove very slowly, calling his name, didn't find him, came home ready to post a "free dog" ad. I do not know what to do with a dog that keeps running off, and am feeling pretty defeated by him.

My day went much better from there. Very productive on chores, peas & tomatoes planted, lunch & chatting with one of my bestest friends, soaked up tons of Vitamin D, playing with Hank, a productive husband, nicely dirty bare feet. A pretty great day!

Grateful: That Oscar finally landed his claws on Hank's snout. Probably the only way he will learn that cats aren't fun at all.

Saturday, May 18

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and one Larabar. Very snacky and ended up just over, and had two bars. Much better than last Saturday, I'll take it!

Consumed: dried plums; egg, chicken sausage, side pork, Brussels sprouts, 2sl toast, c strawberries, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; apple, almond milk latte; half sweet potato, Larabar, Uberbar, c reg; bag peas, bag jerky, bottle kombucha, bottle DCP; egg, side pork, roasted cauliflower, 3sl toast, T jelly, grapefruit, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk (forgot eve supps)
Tally: 550cal P, 1050cal C, 350cal F = 1950 total

Hot tip: Sugar snap peas on sale at Elden's!! I bought 3 bags and devoured 1 on the drive home.

Food prep:
-3 sweet potatoes baked
-pizza egg bake (egg whites, black olives, turkey pepperoni, fake cheese, onions, garlic) cut into 12 slices
-roasted cauliflower and garlic for breakfasts
-slow cooker pork roast w/ blackberries & TS's Raspberry Jalapeno Sauce inspired by a PaleOMG recipe (made on Wednesday)
-6 salads (carrots, cauliflower, celery, peppers, mixed herbs)

Sleep: 6.25 hours in bed, 845p-3a, 71% quality. Woke to thunderstorm at 2a, hit bathroom, ate plums, but couldn't fall back. Gave up and got up and started my day, assuming I could do a big nap post-run. Which I did get, though not until 230-415p, but it was nicely solid.

Body: Got up feeling great for once, the rest day done me good! 5.21m trail run was fantastic, could not have felt better. Happy!

NG pulls at NSS, 6x4.
 
Brain: Tired but good. Some dog frustrations but deferred them to Hop. A great run, fun times at the dog park, a great day of food prep, very productive, and even time to be lazy and veg in front of the TV.

Grateful: For the dog park. It does Hank a world of good.

Read This: Amy Kubal

C’mon Get Happy!
How important are those last 5 pounds, that magic body fat percentage, that 600 pound deadlift, or that sub 2:30 marathon time? Is that stuff really going to make you ‘happy’? Being healthy is a huge part of being happy, but when trying to ‘chase happy’ leads to obsession, fear and harm; healthy is the last thing you’re going to be. And I’d venture to guess that your family and your friends aren’t going to up and disown you if you weigh 140 pounds instead of 135. They aren’t going to love you more when you get that muscle up or finish that marathon. Right now you’ve likely got a whole lot of people that think the sun shines out of your kiester.
And on a related note, they aren't going to love you LESS since you can't do a muscle up or didn't finish that marathon. You're already that person, and they already love you.

This was exactly what I needed to read right now, to get Boston out of my mind, and FUN + TRAILZ back in. Nothing new, not really, but I need the reminder regularly, especially right now.

Find the full meal deal here: http://robbwolf.com/2013/05/16/cmon-happy/ - a quick read, absolutely worth your five minutes.

Friday, May 17

Nutrition: Fast day. That means 2.5lbs of fat loss, baby! (Yeah, yeah, I know that isn't necessarily true.) Hunger pangs at 830a, cold followed on its heels at 930a...and continued until I fetched another coffee just before noon. New fast day indulgence: TWO fancy coffees justified! Hungry for the second time at 3p, couldn't shake the cold after that.

(Someone remind me not to go sleeveless on fast days, m'kay?)

Consumed: 2c reg; Americano w/ SFS x2; water; NC - that's it!

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 82% quality. Woke around 3a h/s/g and wide awake for just a little bit and somehow fell back without getting up. Felt better than 82%, AND I felt good & rested. Hooray for sleeping in!

Body: Feeling great. Not even stiff when I got up - wow!! Glutes developed a bit o' tightness mid-day, but nothing too annoying. Planned to sprint with Holea but she pooped out after painting all afternoon, and I was easily convinced to save the legs por la mañana.

Elbows do not feel any worse, despite doing all of this yesterday: 100 OH presses, 100 DB rows, 36 TRX rows, 34 dips, and 20 pull-ups. Yay! And also, wow, that was dumb to add clas, (even at light baby weights) when my goal is a shit ton of pullups, not keeping Bob company! Anyway, rest day from pulls as direct by Chief; begrudgingly so.

Brain: Really good. Not the most productive morning at TS (everyone was decidedly chatty), but I did knock a few "buggy" things off my to-do list. And was uber-productive over at NSS! Headed home to my HUSBAND, what a thought!

Bummer of the night was that Hank disappeared less than 5 minutes after being let outside. I found him on my second drive through the neighborhood, and I am sad. I don't know what to do about him; do we have to hook him to a tie out all day??

Grateful: For the possible end of pumping season; even if this only turns out to be a brief respite, Hop is to be home all weekend!!!

Thursday, May 16

Nutrition: GOTD is 1700 calories and only ONE "candy bar." Just a mental shift to stop relying so heavily on them.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, 2sl toast, Brussels sprouts, c strawberries, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; Americano w/ SFS; Uberbar, apple; roast pork w/ veg, grapefruit, bottle DCC; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic vinaigrette, 2c strawberries, bag pork jerky; sl toast w/ coconut oil & jam, c senna tea
Tally: 750cal P, 675cal C, 325cal F = 1750 total

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 9p-445a, 89% quality. Woke around 330a, h/s/g, but dozed off/on for another hour. Did feel rested when I got up, and energy level throughout the day was great.

Body: Less achey upon rising than past mornings. Whee! Did half-assed class participation this morning since otherwise Bob was going solo. Focused on good form but still worked up a bit o' sweat.

Yesterday I FELL BEHIND in pulls. Ack! Evened up in my session today, 5x4. NG, and Dustin told me to rest tomorrow, too. WHAT.

Acne: Lawd, is my face reacting something fierce. It's so hideous. I had some of the BSC syrup this week, so I stashed that back into the pantry this morning. Also, as I finished my bottle of Diet Cherry Coke at lunch, my eyes narrowed: I have been drinking a lot of diet pop since starting the fat loss phase. Damn. Methinks it might be high time to go true Whole30 at least until the skin clears, then add these things back one at a time. You know: like smart people do!

Brain: Really good. The "me" day worked so damn well...although now I wish for every Wednesday off! Dream job/some day/maybe.

HOLY WOW: Today I got an email notifying me that I am re-qualified to run Boston next year.

First thought:  "HELLZ YES, I'M TOTALLY DOING IT!"

First action: forwarded the email to Dustin with this message:
I am eligible to run Boston again!
Please remind me that's a bad, bad idea.
We chatted about it in the session, and his first action was to laugh and ask why the BAA loved me so much - people try to qualify for Boston their whole lives, and I'm good for THREE based on ONE single fast BQ marathon?! I joked that maybe if I log three, I get a unicorn! Ultimately, his advice was to shelve the email, don't think about it, don't let it become a stressor - if I can. (Can I?) He's 100% right that I need to simply focus on my goals for this year, which are to love running, and get on the trails AMAP. And then see what happens. Wise old owl.

Which, and this directly relates back to my last post, is pretty much the opposite reaction of EVERYONE ELSE, who says "You must run it!" And I kind of feel like they are right, I must! Third time's a charm! But come on, brain: what the fuck do they know about how perfectly miserable my last three winters were? And just how well does Dustin know how utterly pathetic I became? (A: Nothing, and Everything...real sorry 'bout that, Chief.)

Another [tangential] thought I had was this: they say that I can run next year because I didn't get to finish this year? Well, listen up, motherfucker: I DID FINISH.


And that thought sort of leaned on me to let it go...let that BHAG of an awesome Boston go in favor of rediscovering a healthy body and a lifelong love of running...let those finances go to a relaxing beachy vacation...let that hard-to-get bib number go to someone who really and truly wants to be there with every fiber of their being because they have trained for it and are ready to rock the fuck out of it, rather than just because they can... 

This will be a tough decision - that I won't worry about making for another three months.

Grateful: That I'm even thinking about this. Hooray for the BAA's generosity, and a GIANTER hooray for a body that has not yet told me to quit running forever!

Read This: Becca Borawski

You’re Not Making the Godfather: Quit Taking Your Training So Seriously
... 
When you find a team, it’s an awesome thing and they will love and support you forever. But they are usually just as warped as you. They’re not going to tell you to stop when you need to stop - ‘cause then they might have to stop, too. Your teammates, and possibly even your coach, aren’t equipped with any bigger perspective than you are. They’re not going to tell you that being a “world champion white belt” is maybe a goal that’s okay not to pursue.
Because what real world champions do to their bodies isn’t healthy. And a good coach who sees you in your life and in the bigger context isn’t going to let you pursue a fantasy at the risk of your long-term health and happiness. A good coach will tell you to set goals that make you nervous, goals that seem “impossible,” and yet at the same time reasonable. They could happen in your life.
It all comes down to risk and reward, and sometimes we get so excited about an activity, about a community, about an emotional or hormonal reward we get from working out, that we forget we’re human after all.

...
If you need a reminder that you aren't elite and it's okay to rest & recover and maybe even lose a little ground while you do, then read the whole shebang here: http://breakingmuscle.com/sports-psychology/you-re-not-making-the-godfather-quit-taking-your-training-so-seriously

It's really easy for me to get deeply entrenched in the idea that I NEED to achieve my goals...but do I?

If I don't hit 5000 pullups this year, and instead take rest to avoid tendonitis, and maybe only reach 3000...who cares?

Well, ME! I CARE! And so dammit, I MUST HIT 5000, elbows be damned.

At least, that's what I would have said pre-Dustin...and, okay, I'll admit it: on occasion I still do think that way sometimes.

And that's exactly why I need a Chief to keep my from such nonsense; do you need one, too?

Wednesday, May 15

Nutrition: GOTD is just 1800 calories and that's enough. Felt so damn snacky today. Mindset of a weekend, and too many "candy bars" around.

Consumed: 2sl French toast w/ one egg, SF syrup, c strawberries, RR bar, pork sample, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg; can Zevia; Uberbar, RR bar, apple, Ultima; Larabar, bag Tanka bites, pork sample, can Zevia; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, pork roast, c senna tea
Tally: 500cal P, 725cal C, 575cal P = 1800 total

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 930p-6a, 85% quality. Up around 1 or 2 for bathroom when Hop came home, otherwise very solid. Woke naturally, got up feeling rested.

Body: Stiff and creaky in AM. Hammies NOT sore from yesterday's swings, yay! 

The 4.68m run/walk felt pretty tough. I'm blaming the heat (chose an unshaded route) but I don't know if that's a good enough explanation. Since it didn't feel awesome, I kept it easy with walks whenever I felt like it, changed my goal to just "feeling good" so I would continue to feel good for tomorrow's deadlifts & Friday's sprints & Saturday's longer run, and etc. Forward-focused, not just trying to Do Everything Today. Wise old owl! I started out and finished with a half-mile walk to put an hour on the feet, and also to enjoy an extra dose of the peaceful woods. It was quite lovely.

Planned rest day from pulls, per Chief. Let's go, elbows!!

Brain: Excellent. Random day off = such fabulousness. Peace in the woods. Hank left outside while I was gone and he stayed home!! Magic!

Bit of sad news is that Hop's boss lined up another pumping job. NOT done this weekend. I called that yesterday, unfortunately.

Grateful: That Hop and I feel the same about living in the country. Love, love, love my house. Totally worth the sacrifice of paying for it. As I walked through the LCSP campground, I thought how pleasant it was, what a nice camping spot, unless it was full. But really, even if it's empty...my own backyard is still a million times better. Happy.

Tuesday, May 14

Nutrition: GOTD is 1700 calories, which I can achieve by simply not eating one little egg at breakfast. Done!

Consumed: egg, pork sausage, 2sl toast, Brussels sprouts, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, Larabar; 2c reg; 2c reg; RR bar, apple; can tuna, Uberbar, apple; Uberbar; salad w/ balsamic, apple, c senna tea, decaf almond milk latte w/ SFS
Tally: 475cal P, 775cal C, 450cal F = 1700 total

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-530a, 92% quality. It was not THAT good, but it was good. Wide awake at 1130p to a barking dog and bathroom visit. Hank was at the patio door freaking out at the cats. WTF? Woke about 4a and dozed after that.

Body: SO all-over tight and aching when I got up. Felt pretty awful. Good once moving, and felt basically normal by the time I hit my desk. Right calf still whiney, right hip flexor just on occasion.

Session felt great. NG pulls 3x4.

Brain: Chatted with Hop for a few minutes this morning and he told me something profoundly beautiful: they might be done pumping by the weekend. Wheeeeeee!

Tomorrow is my monthly Random Act of Kindness day, so I decided to devote it to a ME day! I am going to run at LCSP in the morning, take critters to the vet in the afternoon, and do my house chores that I didn't get done this weekend. I nearly committed to working at NSS but decided I would do that when the weather sucks. Tomorrow is supposed to be ah-MAZE-ing!

Grateful: For my giant stash of PTO.

Monday, May 13

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and a gallon of water. I know I was low on pure water this weekend, ODing on coffee and DCP, so time to get back at it. (And also time to quit slacking on it!) Snacky at breakfast; allowed it, then did my best to return to proper everything.

Consumed: 2 eggs, pork sausage, Brussels sprouts, 2 sl toast, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, Uberbar; Americano w/ SFS; Larabar, apple, 2c reg; roast pork w/ veg, apple, Uberbar; salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, can tuna, apple, c senna tea
Tally: 700cal P, 700cal C, 375cal F = 1775

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 79% quality. Felt better than that; woke a few times but never wide awake.

Body: Felt pretty crappy. Left neck/shoulder all jacked up. Right inner calf still tight and whining. Right hip flexor vaguely there. Wow, just like that, I'm falling apart! Only taught class this AM, did warm-up and a couple wall sits. Digestion screwed up, belly bloated, feeling fat today. Awesome.

Tried chins during class: plank, dead-hang, all muscle, no bounce out of bottom or jerky kipping: 3x5. Felt okay but stopped there

Ran 3.14 miles with Lisa at lunch time. I was seriously unmotivated in the AM and debating a rest, but I wanted to hang with her - hooray for motivating workout buddies!

Acne: Reacting to something from last week, weirdly. Need to investigate.

Brain: Okay. Sleep has helped but I'm feeling rather unmotivated today. Had a productive morning anyway, a semi-productive afternoon (meetings, but also car appt). In the eve, spent time with Hank outdoors playing, then in the house with the shock collar. He instantly reacts to the buzz, and thankfully I never pushed the shock button. Cats even let me haul them near him, though certainly with the gate between. Hank did really, really well, but when I put him outside for the night, his pent-up energy unleashed and he was in a frenzy of laps and barking. Ugh.

Grateful: For heat and sunshine. Oh, what a lovely time is May!

Sunday, May 12

Nutrition: GOTD was again to not plan, but I thought it would go well with fewer tendencies toward overeating today. Super snacky at breakfast, overdosed on ribs at lunch, and snacky at supper. Gah.

Consumed: 3 dried plums; 2 eggs, pork sausage, 2 dinner rolls, 2T jelly, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; side pork, 2c reg w/ SFS; pork roast, ribs, sweet potato, salad w/ balsamic, watermelon, assorted snack tasting (carrot cookies, lemon cookies, kale krunch, coconut date bites), 2 bottles DCP; pork roast, ribs, jelly, apple, Larabar, senna tea
Tally: 1525cal P, 1025cal C, 125cal F = 2675 total

Well, then. I don't know if two super high days is something to worry about or not. I don't mean worry in relation to achieving my calorie goal, but rather that it could be a harbinger of things to come. But the drivers supporting overeating were all there, so I am going to assume cravings will return to normal tomorrow.

Sleep: 9 hours in bed, 930p-630a, 97% quality. No way. Up at 345a (not h/s/g) after tossing/turning at least a half hour. Fell back easily after bathroom, water, carbs. Woke at 530a when Hop came home, in/out after that. I'd call it 80-85%, but I did feel rested thanks to the quantity.

Body: Super stiff when I got up. Right calf/Achilles stayed tight all day, rest improved with movement. Right hip flexor kicked in a time or two. Tried to do chins in baby sets, 4x3 in AM, but on the drive to mom's my upper back tightened up like mad and made me a bit miserable. Spent the day cleaning up her flower beds and planting. Back loosened up somewhat but pushed higher into the neck area by day's end. On the bright side, my elbows feel significantly better. The gardening work should not have felt all that draining, but I was shot. Pushing the empty wheelbarrow up the hill felt like I was pushing the Prowler!

Brain: Okay. Nice sunshine. Nice time with the parents. Hank was a brat a couple times but mostly good, and he really enjoyed playing with Bandit. Taco was a cranky old man, though. 

Husband only worked a short day but he was cranky about the state of the garage (due to Hank), otherwise sleeping. I left him be, but was hurt by his crankiness being taken out on me. Tried to remind myself that I get the same way when overtired, but since I felt tired today also, I didn't have much perspective.

Grateful: For adoring, snuggly, purring kitties.


Saturday, May 11

Nutrition: GOTD was eat without planning but still track. Poor sleep, busy day, longer run, Saturday: knew I'd be snacky and didn't want to be miserable trying to restrict. Good for the brain; calories were high but acceptable.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, 2sl toast, kraut, roasted cauliflower & onions, 2c reg w T coconut milk; RR bar, Americano w/ SFS; lotta c reg; bag jerky, Uberbar, can Zevia; 2 eggs, 3 links pork sausage, 4-ish sl bacon, dinner roll, c strawberries, more c reg; Uberbar, dinner roll, can Zevia; salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, 2c strawberries, pint AZ, c senna tea
Tally: 950cal P, 1075cal C, 475cal F = 2500 total

Sleep: 6.25 hours in bed, 10p-415a, 74% quality. Woke just after 11p for bathroom (what?), otherwise solid, though I woke that early without alarm. Luckily I needed to get up that early, but I really should've turned in earlier.

Body: Quite good! Right hip flexor was nary a thought until 4-ish miles into my TRAIL RUN, about the same time my right calf became bitchy. Wish it had felt better endurance-wise, but super thrilled with the lack of knee pain and how easy/slow it felt for the first half hour. Also enjoyed a nice walk (a mile or so) with Amy while her landlord showed the house to a potential renter (sob!).

Took another rest day from chins, left elbow only marginally better than yesterday. I'm feeling likely to binge soon!

Brain: A great day. Snuck in a dose of husband time, had a bucket-filling morning at the RFL garage sale, lovely lunch & chat with Amy, and fun in the WOODS on TRAILS...what more could a girl squeeze in? How about time in the hammock!? Able to tilt it "just so," to avoid most of the wind but soak up all of the sun. Nearly fell asleep! Only thing to improve this day would've been to end it with the hubster.

Grateful: For you.

Friday, May 10

Nutrition: GOTD is to fast and get in a gallon of water. Fast day #4 = two pounds of fat! (No guarantees, of course, but that's what I've gotta tell myself.) Felt hungry & chilly for the first time at 1145a. No problemo! Chilly again later in afternoon, 4p. Much more energy than last week when I had to go home and nap.

Consumed: 2c reg; c NC; Americano w/ SFS; 2c reg; 2c half-caff;
Tally: you know it's zero!


Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 930p-6a, 88% quality. Woke at 3a & took ages to fall back, not quite h/s/g and not quite WIDE awake. Other than that, felt great. Woke without alarm and dozed in/out a bit.

Body: Sore glutes and sore left elbow. LAME. Another rest day from pulls. WEAK.

Ran intervals with Holea, and loved it. She is faster than me so it was a great push. Definitely had her beat for recovery, though! Right hip flexor a touch tweaked during, and got very tight afterward. Limping until it would loosen, and it did get a bit better as the eve went on. Eve included about 20min in hot tub and good hour or two of laziness on the couch.

Brain: Feeling great! Busy morning at TS, productive afternoon at NSS, wild Hank at home. Soothed it all by soaking in the hot tub.

Grateful: For Holea. Today's intervals may become a regular Friday date, and how fun does that sound?!

Thursday, May 9

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and don't overdose on caffeine despite all desire for it. Afternoon insanity threw me entirely off-schedule (ate "lunch" at 4pm), but I never even felt hungry. But still on for a fast day tomorrow, which means no under-eating today.

Consumed: egg, chicken sausage, roasted cauliflower & onions, kraut, Larabar, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; Americano w/ SFS; 2c reg; 2 hot dogs, Uberbar; Larabar, sweet potato; roast pork & veg, bag jerky, apple, c senna tea
Tally: 775cal P, 650cal C, 325cal F = 1750 total

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a, 90% quality, which is utter bullshit. Fell asleep quickly but wide awake when Hop came up (up for b/r) and woke regularly after that. Alarm woke me despite being set a half-hour later than usual. Got up feeling pretty GD tired.

Body: Very creaky getting up. Glutes sore from lunges in class, apparently, because they screamed when I did lunges in today's session, which felt great otherwise.

Brain: Tired. Morning boost from seeing the hubster for 5 whole minutes. Afternoon car-related adventure wents okay, since I wasn't missing anything time-sensitive at work, though I did have to miss the LAPW meeting.

Grateful: For the Alexandria dog park! Hank got to run and play with two awesome Great Danes (one a puppy, cutest evah) and a ball-obsessed pit bull named Vincent. (SUCH a great name!) He tried to play with Mitzi but was far too rough, she was hiding behind Holea. Best, though, was when the GD puppy tried to play with Mitzi, when his paws are the size of her tiny head. Squee! When we left, Hank was thoroughly worn out, and his neck grossly crusted with slobber from the adult GD. Perfect!

Wednesday, May 8

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and lotsa agua. Learned an interesting tidbit in that I ate THREE Uber/Larabars, so I felt like I was being super indulgent throughout the day, but because two of them comprised my breakfast (no time for proper meal due to teaching 630a class, and prioritizing precious sleep) - rather than as snacks tacked onto my normal meals - my calories were well within reason. Cool!

Consumed: Uberbar, Larabar, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 3 Reese's Pieces, Americano w/ SFS; 2 Reese's Pieces, 2 hot dogs, apple, Uberbar, can DCC; pork roast & veg, apple, can DDP; 2c tea; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic vinaigrette, 3 sl toast w/ 3T jelly, c senna tea
Tally: 375cal P, 875cal C, 550cal F = 1800 total


Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 930p-5a, 82% quality. Felt worse. Right at bedtime, Hank freaked out barking at something. Home alone, I was also freaked out. Grabbed pepper spray and everything - but when I went to see Hank in the garage, he just seemed scared and barking at "the outdoors" in general. He calmed down as I petted him and soothed him, and then stayed quiet. I figured it couldn't be a true threat of any kind since he let it go. But sheesh, that fucked with my sleep. When Hop came home I woke up and was super startled and alert, took a while to fall back; and woke around 3a and 4a, though I fell back easily enough. Got up tired but good once moving.

And Hank was all worked up about something this morning, too. Gah.

Body: Quite good. Eliminated chins for the day, resting the elbows. Did my class which was very much a metcon, and hard as shit, and fun. Lunch run with Lisa: intervals!

Brain: Feeling motivated by visible fat loss progress in the legs. Yay!

My day was going really well, even anticipating the rain would bring Hop home for once, but it did not, and I arrived home to Hank having chewed apart the latch of his fence collar. So, back to town I went. I went cheap and got a normal collar then spent a half hour putting holes into it. I was rather proud of myself, but so much for my to-do list...

Fat loss tip for all y'all heading to Mom's this weekend: buy a bunch of your favorite snacks, and when you leave for home, the snacks do NOT! You get to indulge in your favorites, but they don't come home for a daily willpower challenge. Caveat: still be careful what you buy. I avoided the Jennie's Macaroons because I know I wouldn't keep the intake level reasonable. (Sorry to the moms who get stuck with irresistible treats, but hey, you've probably built up some willpower by your age.)

Grateful: For silly fun friends.

Tuesday, May 7

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories & emphasize carbs. I went over a bit because my math was off somewhere.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, kraut, dinner roll w T jelly, c reg w/ T coconut milk; c reg; 2c reg; hot dog, apple, Uberbar; roast pork & veg, half sweet potato, Uberbar; can DCC; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic vinaigrette, roasted cauliflower & onion, apple w/ T pumpkin honey
Tally: 475cal P, 1000cal C, 400cal F = 1875 total

Food prep:
  • Finally got my 7 salads made for the week: kale, cauliflower, carrot, celery, sweet peppers
  • Sunday morning into Monday morning I had made my meat like so: 1 pork roast + 1 ham steak + 5 packages of vegetables + 24 hours + 1 slow cooker = 6 delicious meals
  • Roasted cauliflower w/ onions made tonight, to be eaten with breakfast, maybe 5 or so meals
Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 945p-5a, 85% quality. Felt pretty good, woke naturally, but also had a wake-up at 3a, though not h/s/g. Interestingly, the sleep graph looks to be worse than yesterday, but it's 20% higher quality. Weird.

Body: First off a little stiff, especially in calves/Achilles. Digestion is starting to right itself, not sure what the problem is lately, which is frustrating. Session felt fantastic. NG pulls in session, 5x4.

Acne: Seriously reacting to the omelet/hashbrowns on Sunday. Must be loaded with soybean oil. Gah.

Brain: Pretty good. Knocking things off my to-do list left and right! Doggie play date made! Baby-gate purchased to allow Hank into the house without driving me (and the cats) completely insane.

Grateful: For underground fence magic. I left Hank access to both garage & outside overnight, and he stayed around. Yay! Now, how do I get him to stay home/loose during the day when I leave? He did stay far behind while I fetched the trash can in the eve, so we're making great progress.

Monday, May 6

Nutrition: GOTD is 1700 calories, see if I can chip away a little bit at the overage from last week. If I can't, no big. If I can, I shall. No time for breakfast, lunch meeting, thus off my usual food schedule and resorting to snackier stuff - which led to even more snacky cravings. Damn you, biology!

Consumed: bag pork jerky, Uberbar, 2c reg w/ SFS; Americano w/ SFS; Uberbar; 2 hot dogs, sm apple, 2c half-caff; salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, Uberbar; Uberbar, roast pork & veg, apple, bottle DA&W; c senna tea
Tally: 675cal P, 600cal C, 500cal F = 1775 total. Well, fine then.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 930p-5a, 66% quality. Felt a lot better than that, more like 80-85; I guess it balances out last night's overestimate. Woke hourly after 2a but felt like I was mostly out.

Body: Little all-over fatigue. Did class in AM as I had a lunch meeting. And a late afternoon meeting. And an evening meeting. It killed me. (The class, not the meetings.) Walked a parking-lot lap in the sunshine at work mid-afternoon, and two laps around the yard with Hank in the eve. That's like a mile, it totally counts. Elbows annoyed even with my garage-sweeping & -scraping so I'm doing that bit by bit to avoid making it worse - left more so than right.

Chins all in AM: 6x3.

Brain: Good. Three long meetings plus close mania, but stable.

Grateful: For the subsidized coffee at work. A phenom benefit!

Sunday, May 5

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and remember water. Done. Not well, but not terribly.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, kraut, Brussels sprouts, dinner roll w/ T jelly, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg w/ SFS, bottle kombucha; omelet (shrooms, onions, bacon) & hash browns, 3c reg; 2 bottles DCP; bag pork jerky, apple; roast pork & veg, pint Arctic Zero, c senna tea
Tally: 1125cal P, 600cal C, 50cal F = 1775cal total

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 10p-630a, 96% quality. Felt good, but not THAT good - I wish! Woke for bathroom at 3a, though not h/s/g.

Body: Low back is a bit right, blaming the walk with Hank. Intended to lift today but ran out of time. Did spend a lot of afternoon on feet walking around yard with Hank.

Chins throughout day: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Brain: Sad for over-tired husband. Spent morning helping Dad install new windshield in Hop's car, then lunch with my "big sister," then home chores. Parents dropped off our new (their old) lawn mower, and we moved the dog house and verified the dog fence WORKS. Hooray!

Hank was a different pooch, much calmer - sadly almost a little defeated, but no longer ready to run run run. He followed their truck right over the line, though, so that means I can't let him roam free all day as he'll follow me right out the driveway; I will have to work on training him to stay put when I leave.

Time in house was about the same. Really need a baby gate so I can let him free in the room I'm in rather than have to hold him with a leash - tough for me to accomplish anything.

Grateful: For parents. So incredibly helpful!

Saturday, May 4

Nutrition: GOTD was 1800 calories and I failed. Super duper incredibly snacky (poor sleep) so I did what I could to prevent serious over-eating. I ate what I was truly craving rather than trying to first eat something better and still giving in to the cravings anyway. May be able to cut calories from tomorrow to even it out. See how I feel.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, dinner roll, Brussels sprouts, kraut, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2c reg w/ SFS, 2 bottles DCP, bag pork jerky, Uberbar; 3-egg omelet, hashbrowns, 3c reg; bag jerky, can Zevia; small apple, Uberbar; pint Arctic Zero, c senna tea
Tally: 1225cal P, 700cal C, 225cal F = 2150 total


Sleep: 6.5 hours, 930p-4a, 85% quality. Felt much worse, woke regularly; no husband, missing dog, weird dreams. Felt decent once I ate breakfast, but got tired throughout the day.

Body: Started out feeling great, but the 4.71m walk with the dog exhausted me. He was battling me hard enough to cause seriously poor biomechanics, feeling the twist resistance at the left knee mostly. Arms & shoulders exhausted as well. Feet a little sore later on.

Chins nearly forgotten throughout day, 5x2; felt much easier than they have been.

Brain: Missing dog worries. But productive times at NSS, a found dog (neighbor's house), lunch with Amy, and a fence that works! Then downhill when I hit complete & utter frustration on the dog walk. He did redeem himself with his house lessons, when he snuggled up all cute.

Grateful: For my strength, else Hank would have gotten free when he saw the deer, and he'd have been long gone.

Friday, May 3

Nutrition: GOTD is to fast. All day. Drink whatever fake-ass sweeteners I want, just don't eat. Cold. Tired. Cranky. Persevered. Even RAN, and survived!

And yes, I'm fully aware of the irony of fasting just two days after sharing a link to a post about how fasting can fuck you up. So far, though, I'm feeling fine.

Consumed: 3c reg; Americano w/ SFS x2; 2c decaf; 2c black tea; 2c herbal tea; 2c decaf w/ SFS
Tally: fucking ZERO, bitches!

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 930p-430a, 82% quality. Hop came home about 330a or so, so cats were trotting around, and I couldn't fall back. YUCK.

Came home after TS rather than work at NSS, and napped just over 1.5 hours. Huge help.

Body: Feeling general all-over fatigue. Digestion was compromised after forgetting half of yesterday's supplements but improving today. Wearing boots w/ 1" heel, thus sitting all day. Walked two laps around the yard at sunrise, half-mile or so.

Was seriously hoping Lisa would back out of our planned lunch run, but she didn't, so I didn't, and I'm glad, because it was quite fun and felt good & easy, 3.42 miles. Touch of knee pain kicked in at 2.5m, but didn't increase, so I told it to fuck off. I think it was the slow pace that annoyed it.

Elbows are still annoyed, plus traps are sore to the touch, so I felt a full rest day from pulls was in order. Better to do it today since I won't be able to resist the bar the next two days!

Brain: Tired but okay. Up early enough that I could have worked at NSS, but figured I should spend time with Hank. We spent a half hour outside before sunrise, once just to get Hank a lap, then to plant the flags to the underground fence, since I had to kill time before I could get into TS. Felt stupid all morning, got a boost from the lunch run, but it didn't last. After my nap I thoroughly enjoyed some slightly unproductive time watching TV with Hank on a short leash, and eventually he laid down and relaxed with me & was super sweet. But then I had to toss him back outside. Sadness.

Grateful: For Hop's job. Yeah, the hours completely blow right now, but I'm reminding myself those big overtime-filled checks are the reason we don't have to worry just too much about finances, and were able to spend (gulp) nearly $500 on the dog in just one week.

Thursday, May 2

Nutrition: GOTD is dude, maintain. 1800 calories as usual, and just a few extra carbs for deadlift day & day-before-fasting day - but keep it reasonable. Ended up a little over because I ate all my leftovers from the work fridge as I did my fence shopping / not well-planned.

Consumed: 2 eggs, chicken sausage, kraut, Brussels sprouts, dinner roll, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk; Americano w/ SFS; sl egg bake, hot dog; 2 strawberries, 2 grapes; 3oz pork roast, sweet potato, Uberbar; apple, few grapes, few strawberries, can DP; 2 sl egg bake, 2 hot dogs, c strawberries, c grapes
Tally: 950cal P, 850cal C, 125cal F = 1925 total

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-545a, 95% quality, but felt worse. Again woke at midnight or so for bathroom, what? Felt very shallow in last couple hours, but not h/s/g or anything.

Body: Pretty good, no real soreness anywhere. Session felt awesome. NG pulls in session, 4x4.

Acne: Kinda sorta reacting to something again. Mild cysts, but at least 4 of them. Hm...perhaps the BSC SFS is a problem after all?

Brain: Early dog frustrations (lost!) had me anxious all morning. But I dashed home post-training and there he was, looking adorably innocent, stretching from his nap in the sun!

In the eve I worked on the fence again; two hours, frozen fingers, still not done. I am no handyman.

Grateful: That my little cutie pie came home. Not as grateful that he LEFT, but hard to blame him. Garage is boring!

Wednesday, May 1

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and TEA. Had four cups, NOM. Perfect on a chilly day. Felt snacky today...sleep impact, I'd guess. Also it was quite chilly at TS, heat issues, felt much like I do when fasting, thus a bit miserable.

Consumed: 2 eggs, s chicken sausage, 1.5sl bacon, c Brussels sprouts, 2sl toast, 3c reg w/ T coconut milk; 2 Reese's Pieces, Larabar, 2c reg; 3oz pork roast w/ .5c roasted veg, 2 apples, Larabar, c decaf, 2c herbal tea; salad w/ half avocado & balsamic, pepperoni chips w/ TC guac, c strawberries, apple, c senna tea, c herbal tea
Tally: 600cal P, 625cal C, 575cal F = 1800 total


Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 930p-5a, 87% quality. Felt worse - I didn't wake up or anything, but it felt shallow. When I went to bed, Oscar was still outside and not coming in despite me calling him on/off for 25 minutes, searching with a flashlight, and even sending Hank outside in case that would flush him out. No surprise my sleep was impacted.

Body: Tired but otherwise pretty damn good. Slight ache in top of left foot and left big toe joint...so much for that one tiny mile in Vibrams! Calves/Achilles both feel fine, though. Did class, full of man-makers. FUN! No run; Lisa feeling tired & sore, and me feeling tired & unmotivated.

Pulls after class 5x1, chins at home, 5x1. Elbows are annoyed again so I cut down.

Brain: Tired and spacey and a little cranky - had a whole bag of May Day fruit I planned to bring to the team, packed it up, left it at home. GAH.

Rolled out wire for underground fence when I got home, came up short, but soon Hank will have lots of space to roam with a lot less effort on my end. Thanks to Facebook, I got a box of staples to keep it temporarily on top of the ground until the hubs can bury it. Awesome!

Grateful: For the podcasts that block out Hank's whining and barking when the cats come back inside and he is left to entertain himself.

Tuesday, April 30

Nutrition: GOTD is 1800 calories and at least 3 quarts of water. Just need to get back to consistency with water intake, it makes such a difference in how I feel. Need it to be automatic, a habit. I don't need a full gallon every day, but if I keep pushing it for a couple days, I will easily hit the 2-3 quarts that I want to have. 1 quart by 1130a. 1.5 by 1p. 2.5 by 3p. 3 by 730p.

Consumed: 2 eggs, 2 sl toast, s chicken sausage, 5 Brussels sprouts, apple, 3c reg w/ T coconut milk; Americano w/ SFS; 2sl egg bake, hot dog, Larabar, can DDP; 6oz pork roast w/ bit of roasted veg, topped w/ jelly, Larabar; bag beef jerky
Tally: 1050cal P, 550cal C, 225cal F = 1825cal total


Sleep: 9 hours in bed 9p-6a, 83% quality, but felt pretty crappy. Woke at 3, hit b/r, was not h/s/g so I didn't eat anything but I took AGES to fall back, an hour or so, then got in one short cycle before waking naturally. Ugh. Got up feeling pretty tired.

Body: Aching soles initially, but better as I moved. Very slight tightness in calves/Achilles but much better than I expected. Also I keep forgetting to mention, but my digestion got seriously off-track over the weekend. More water, less caffeine, remember supps!

Chins in session, 3x4.

Quick measurement session with Steve, down all over. Hooray!

Eve fundraiser was in Vibrams, though I didn't move much, busy being money-taker and -reconciler.

Brain: Good. Liked lifting with Joy. She be my deadlifting hero! Mini-freakout when Hank disappeared on me, but he came back home soon. Think he followed the mailman. Great LAPW fundraiser for Someplace Safe: raised over $3000!

Grateful: For the technology & a job that lets me work from home in the middle of the day, just so I could get Hank outside before heading off to the LAPW event.