Sunday, January 6

Nutrition: Anxiety eating at breakfast (long run). Very thirsty all afternoon, felt dehydrated & depleted.

5a-candied squash egg white omelet w/ sl bacon, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
6a-pancakes & 2T coconut manna, c reg
7a-c reg
9a-6.84m run/walk
11a-fried egg w/ sl bacon & T mustard on 2 sl GF toast, 2T coconut manna, 5 walnuts, c decaf w/ T coconut milk, supps
215p-4oz chicken carnitas, coconut milk fudge bar, c decaf w/ T coconut milk
3p-can DP
530p-ton of refrigerator pickles, 1/4c kraut, few almonds & hazelnuts, 2 sl GF French toast w/ SF syrup, supps
Throughout day-3.5 quarts water

Sleep: In bed 6.25 hours, 1030p-445a, 75% quality. Wish I could have slept longer; tried, but was wide awake. Tired. Napped 2.5 hours post-run, 1115a-145p. Still tired afterward.

Body: Felt fine to start with. But run did not go well...no energy, no desire, too much walking...by the end I was walking every other telephone-pole gap...and then, just as the cherry on top, at the very end my knee started to hurt. I can't tell you the thoughts that went through my head for solutions, from quit lifting, to lose 20 lbs, to just give up long runs. I slotted that all away as crazy talk. Mostly.

I have realized I'm not too enthused about running Boston. I mean, I am super awed at the idea of ZOMG Boston, but at the idea of training all winter...I don't want to. It's tough to find the motivation to grind through when I just plain do not want to be out there running. In light of that, I decided I definitely need to join the Saturday morning running group to avoid being alone (when it feels hard I start to resent the timing of Boston and want to just back out, give up, quit; the mental talk gets awful), or in the country (starts to feel ungodly far when there's nothing but long quiet stretches in front of me).

Knee felt very IT-band, right under the knee cap. Sat in hot tub ~20 minutes when I got home, then napped.

Felt very depleted after I got up. I may need to eat more carbs...less than 80g average for the week...that's pretty damn low for endurance work, especially extra ambitious endurance work.

Stretches x3 (7a, 230p, 8p).

Acne: Cyst developing on my chin. Already. Whelp, at least I don't have to use willpower to resist the cost & calories of the Quest bars.

Brain: Pretty awful state after the run. Great timing: spent couple hours of afternoon preparing for tomorrow morning's interview.

Grateful: For my husband. Before the run, he told me I just needed to believe in myself. When I returned from the run quiet and scowling all afternoon, he gave me my space. Smart.

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