Friday, January 18

Nutrition: High everything day for tomorrow's long run. Anxiety eating in the morning due to...sleep? stress? tomorrow's run? all of the above? Lesson learned: extra calories can not make up for low sleep; it didn't help. Anxiety eating in the evening as well. Awesome. Goals? What goals?

430a-2 fried eggs, chicken sausage, 2 sl GF toast, micro cake, 3 honey mint chocolates, c reg
5a-c reg w/ T coconut milk
545a-1.5oz cashews, c reg
6a-c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
7a-2c half-caff w/ SF syrup
9a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
10a-oz almonds, can DP
1215p-personal training
130p-can tuna, oz almonds, clementine, supps
6p-sausage & squash omelet, pepperoni chips w/ salsa, cashew binge
8p-cashews, micro cake, supps
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed, 845p-4a, 81% quality. In/out for the last hour, could not fall back despite brain being quiet. Slight improvement over prior nights but still very, very tired.

Body: Feels good. Session was good...so glad I did not cancel as I had been debating!

Stretches x2 (6a, 130p).

Brain: Still struggling. No rainbows or sunshine. Initially I felt like maybe I'd gotten enough sleep to improve over yesterday's state, but I still had a mini-breakdown in the AM. (Even before a coworker told me I looked tired. What the hell is wrong with people?!)

Managed to focus on work for a couple solid hours, but I was feeling like a pile of useless shit (mentally) by 10am so I took a break in the Well. Foam rolled for like two minutes, decided that wasn't what I needed; crashed in big soft chair with a picture book for 20min or so - that helped. Best option would have been a nap, but suckers can't be choosers.

Nearly canceled on Dustin to go home and nap, but glad I didn't because it got my mind off "I suck" and then working there was a HUGE mood lift. Love that place. Holea is one of my favorite people.

Still went home and binged on cashews and had another breakdown. Gah.

Grateful: For NSS. Grateful beyond words.

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