Thursday, November 15

515a-fried egg, c kraut, chicken sausage, 2 sl GF toast w/ .5t coconut oil & T Sunbutter, almond milk latte, supps
6a-half oz pecans, c reg
715a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, can Zevia
1130a-Larabar, c reg
12p-personal training
130p-chicken sausage, c roasted veg, supps
6p-chicken sausage, salad w/ oil & vinegar & half avocado, c tea, supps
Throughout day-3.5 quarts water
Moderate carb day.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a. Up at 1 for bathroom, fell back quickly. Dozed in/out 4-5a. Feeling okay, but it's starting to catch up to me.

Body: Decent. Ankle/shin still there while walking, but it's improving a tiny bit. Feels like it's taking forever though. How much effing rest does it need?! Yesterday I threw away the Turkey Day 5k flyer. Sadly.

I got a little boost when I emailed Heather's friend Shannon about how she MUST do the powerlifting meet (ha, I first typed "meat" - now there's a competition I want to get in on!!) - and then sad again as I thought about how very much fun it will be, and I can't even be there to spectate or help or anything. Stupid job!

Session was good but I walked out unreasonably upset by the deadlift fail. It was just a form thing, too far forward - had I been back on my heels, I believe I would have wrestled it up. But landing that pull would have been a significant mental boost on a day that I could really really use it.

On the other hand, why can't I celebrate my pullup progress? Or Dustin telling me he's seeing visible fat loss progress? And why can't I see my own visible progress? That cruel voice in my head is such an awful heifer.

Sat at desk all day yet again. I don't like it. But if it helps the shin heal up (Dustin, your lecture to my shin did not help - try again!) then I guess it's worth it.

No pulls, feeling a little sore.

Brain: Decent. Snacky at home in AM, who's the idiot that bought delicious raw pecans? Oh yeah: this girl. In my defense, I was at the Grain Bin, and somehow they were out of almonds. I knew I couldn't resist cashews, so I tried pecans. Have slightly more willpower around these, but not much. Why must nuts be so damned irresistible? And hey, why is your mind in the gutter?

Felt the same eat-eat-eat feelings at 9a due to work stress/frustrations, but just ate my usual snack. Felt it yet again at 1130a along with physical tiredness, so I ate extra and added a caffeine hit, hoping for a deadlift boost! Fail. Which made me want to eat more again, but this time I was out of extra calories.

One of MANY reasons to love Joy: I told her I wanted to eat my fists off today. Her response: "Don't eat your fists dear, they're not very meaty." Best.

Acne: Experienced a small reaction after the weekend (likely: soy in oil on hashbrowns, soy in meat in the omelet) and some more small reactions continuing into this week (likely: soy in sauce on on pork tenderloins; I wiped off all visible sauce, but I suppose the shit gets injected right into the meat too). UGH, I hate my stupid face!

My birthday is just a week away, and I would like to not be hating my face by then, please. So I'm going to be super diligent about eating out this weekend: plain steak & salad at restaurant on Friday night, bringing my own food to my parents' on Saturday, will eat eggs & bacon ONLY at friend's house on Sunday. And I think next week's meals will revolve around plain shrimp and mom-raised chicken. That should keep me safe.

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Dang, this entire post makes me sound like a horribly whiny little bitch. Sorry, folks. That was the kind of day I had, though...I told Lisa I think I just need a damn hug. Too bad my husband is in Texas and the cats are too small. I need to borrow a large friendly dog to give a good squeeze to!

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