Thursday, November 1

4a-fried egg, chicken sausage, c asparagus, half Larabar, c reg w/ stevia, supps
615a-c reg
7a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-2c reg w/ stevia
1045a-s coconut flakes w/ s Sunbutter, 4 macaroons
12p-personal training
130p-2c roasted veg, oz almonds, med banana, supps
615p-Cobb salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, 3 c decaf
730p-c decaf chai tea, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Sleep: 6.75 hours in bed, 915p-4a. Solid but then I woke about 3; tried to fall back asleep but gave up after an hour. Just wide awake, feeling like it must be 5. Can't blame husband, he got home at 12. Had taken a half Benadryl.

I am blaming& the low caloric intake, or possibly low carbs (since I hit low cals via low carbs). Added a half-Larabar to breakfast again, then emailed Steve the backstory and asked for ideas. That's what I'm paying for, right?

His recommendation was to try two carb re-feed windows per week instead of one. I did one today (yay macaroons!), but next week I'm thinking Tuesday post-Dustin (to be more pre-emptive) then again on the weekend.

I also feel like I probably ought to input a day into Sparkpeople to see how accurate my calcs actually are. Blargh. On the other hand, if I'm consistently "off," I'm at least consistent in my off-ness because I don't vary my food too much. So maybe it's good enough as is. I guess if we don't see results, then I could log, but if it's working, don't break it.

Body: Bit achey in low legs, but mostly have quite sore thighs. How can 115# squats beat me up this much? Joy suggested I was going deeper, and I'd like to think that, but my mean internal voice is saying I lost that much strength with the running-required 3-week deload. Then my session went pretty damned fantastic - but Dustin told me to expect to be very sore tomorrow. Excellent.

Brain: Today started down, then went up up up!

Started out pretty tired & frustrated at the sleep issue, frustrated that I had to ask Steve for help, feeling a little on the sparkless end of the spectrum. Debated an early NSS day but instead I read for a while & then woke up my husband, who is VERY nearly done pumping. Yay!

Wore my "magic pants" today - they are not magic, they are just the size I want to be (and was...a year ago). Sigh. Today it felt as if it will take a whole lotta magic to fit into them. Bad idea to wear them on a day I felt "blech" already.

Up...I had a long talk with Sandy today that made me feel much much better about the future without her - still sad though. She's amazing.

Up...session was most excellent.

Up...Amy & I had supper at Doolittle's and that was also a wonderful conversation.

I realized that I really need to ditch this idea that owning up to my strengths is a bad, braggy, arrogant thing. Not sure where that even comes from. The inability to see or admit weaknesses is bad, but recognizing, owning, & celebrating one's strengths is a sign of maturity.

Wait, does this mean I'm getting old?

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