Sunday, October 14

545a-2 eggs, chicken sausage, 2 MEB, 4 bacon dates, 2c reg, supps
715a-5.02m run
During run-2s Ultima
830a (post run)-2 MEB, Ultima
9a-3 sl turkey, 2 handfuls spinach, med apple, few grapes, 2c reg
1045a-bottle DCP
1245p-3/4 spirulina Raw Revolution bar, bag pork jerky, can Zevia
3p-coco-nana cake, too many T coconut butter
730p-2 eggs, cauli-browns, few strips bell peppers, few flowerets cauliflower, MEB, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Serious fat cravings once I got home. Indulged, then tried to nap. Got up feeling normal again.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a. Really poor quality after 3a, but fueled myself with caffeine. Tried to nap for about an hour, but could not fall asleep. Too much caffeine! Laying flat felt good, at least.

Body: Stiff and sore. Imagine that! Specifically outer left shin, feet, low back (oh no!). Surprisingly, everything felt really good on the run, other than outer left foot getting a little strained. Again, feels like nothing serious, nothing taper week can't fix.

Brain: To start: doing great, and ready to sign up for next year's Train & Stay!! Was getting a little anxious about the 50k after yesterday's long run felt so tough on the feet and ankles; but when this morning's run with a tired body went so well, it gave me some confidence back.

Plus, that tough section yesterday was the worst of this weekend, just like last year - but didn't seem as bad during the 50k. And anyway, every race has tough spots, just gotta buckle down and survive them - they make the enjoyable parts that much better!

If it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself, it's because I am. It's one thing to pound your body into the ground surrounded by 4 of your favorite runners; it's something else entirely to do it with only the voices in your of whom is awfully cruel.

Later in the day, left to my own thoughts, with that cunt chattering away, all I could think about was how ugly I feel. Fat and acneyed (shove off, I'm making that a word!) and hideous. I know that I should be celebrating this weekend's runs and feeling accomplished and strong, not hating on my face and my belly. I need to kill that bitch in my head.

How do I make her focus on this?

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