Tuesday, August 7

530a-fr egg, 1.5 sl bacon, 2 sl toast, piece fruit leather, c reg w T coconut milk, supps
630a-c reg w T coconut milk
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-oz almonds, 2c reg
12p-personal training
130p-6oz chicken, .5c roasted veg, med apple, supps
530p-salad w/ HB egg & half avocado, med apple, micro cake, can Zevia, supps
Throughout day-4 quarts water

Diet Summary post updated with numbers & picture.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 945-515. Up for b/r at 2a, woke often after that. Got up feeling rested, though.

Body: Surprisingly good. Felt very creaky getting out of bed, tight low back, sore legs, etc (also, in bed I kept scraping my callused right foot on that open/oozing left-foot blister...YEOW!) but once I got moving, things started feeling better. Legs still a bit heavy, and got "fat knees" at desk, but session felt lovely.

Brain: Decent. Boo: bit tired, and a busy day. Yay: session boosted me and I spent the night on my volunteer bookwork. My first "month end" for LAPW! Boo: acne agony (just keep on reading). Yay: there will be another NSS Train & Stay, and I kept that weekend free, and all indications are that my body will comply. That deserves a DOUBLE YAY!

Acne: Juli over at PaleOMG mentioned that she cut out nuts to test them for acne. Mother. Fucker. I ate a lot of nuts up north. I bought a giant container of nuts on Saturday and had too many helpings. My Larabar & Uberbar consumption was up a bit last week. I ate my nut-based "ice cream" last week. And my digestive system was fairly fucked up last week, always an indication of pending acne. God. Damn. It. All. I've had cashew-related suspicions in the past but I always come back to eating them because they are. So. Fucking. Good. I can apparently get away with almonds, but pfft, that's like getting chicken nuggets when you want a beautiful, golden, rotisserie "I could eat this all at once" chicken. It's just not the same!!

Will I have any  god damned fucking treats left?! The very idea of losing my last true indulgence makes me want to cry. Wait, I still have coconut. So far...

Okay, let's allow logic to shove aside emotions. For starters: I don't even yet know that this is a definite problem. Second, even if it is, it's got a silver lining like all my other food issues: I no longer have to use willpower to avoid nuts. They simply become permanently off-limits, no questions asked.

Time to test for real. I'll allow the homemade "HeatherBars" because I'm sure as shit not letting them go to waste (though I will ration them out rather than gobble them like they deserve, and if you're lucky & loved, you might receive some), and I'll finish the last few almonds I've got. But the giant jar of mixed-nut deliciousness will have to stay out of reach for at least a week, until my skin clears up. Except, that coincides with Ragnar, for which I want to test whether a massive dose of physical stress alone will cause acne, so I'm looking at a minimum of two weeks without nuts before I can truly test them. STUPID BODY.

WOD: Enthusiasm. As you can see from the acne rant, I'm feeling a bit challenged lately, so that casts a new twist on today's word. I'm happy to report that I'm still feeling enthusiasm for most of my challenges. And I keep trying to put things into perspective: I'm battling belly fat & acne, not cancer or a lost limb or a dying loved one or anything that anyone else even gives a flying fuck about. But I know that I am toeing a fine line of pushing myself & being pushed by circumstances, so I am also constantly second-guessing myself, asking my Internal Dustin what I should do. I struggle primarily because I want to Do All The Things and yet I come from 28 years of doing as few of the physical things as possible, so I'm often left wondering: am I really listening to my mini-chief, or am I just listening to lazy old Sabrina? I think it's easy to see that I'm no longer that lazy person, but it's very hard to shake that shadow off.

Wait, how did I get here from "enthusiasm"? I have no idea. And I'm not even going to bother trying to put a bow on it. I'm an accountant, not a writer. Let's move on to one of my favorite topics...

Bacon pics are popular: From another pal who apparently sees "bacon" and thinks "Sabrina." I am 100% okay with that.

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