Saturday, August 11

7a-fr egg, 1.5sl bacon, c roasted veg, 2 fruit leathers, micro cake w/ SF syrup, c reg w/ T coconut milk
8a-HeatherBar, c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
830a-can Zevia, 1.5c reg
1015a-2 macaroons, .5c reg
1p-BLT sandwich, cole slaw, refrigerator pickles, 2c fresh fruit (watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe, cherries, green grapes), 2 macaroons, 2c reg, can Zevia
330p-2 macaroons, 2 fruit leathers
5p-2oz beef ribs
7p-mallow, micro cake, c tea
9p-oz beef ribs, 4 HeatherBars, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, 12-7a. Dozed in/out final hour. A big improvement, but look at what time I went to bed. Finally I was truly tired, with no interest in chicken butchering, but also, no choice. Took a nap 515-7p.

Body: Other than tired, no issues, even with standing on 'crete in Vibrams all day. Tried to remember posture and not hunch over the carcasses so much.

Brain: Did surprisingly well until I got home and then I was too intent on a nap to even be polite. Post-nap, quite snacky, could not stick to my plan. Beat myself up a bit.

Also, before bed, I had this horribly cruel thought: I will be the fattest & ugliest woman on our Ragnar team. (I can blame my acne for prompting this kindness.) Why do I have to think this way? Why does ANY woman EVER think this way?

Why can't I think like a man? Dustin is going into this event on a 6 week taper since he has been sick over & over and unable to run. I would be FREAKING THE FUCK OUT in his place - yet he is as calm and confident as always. Meanwhile I can't even be confident in my own running because of what I look like!

What is wrong with my brain? And how many other women feel this way?

And how the fuck do we stop it?

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