Tuesday, July 3

5a-2 fr eggs, s chicken sausage, 2 sl toast, c reg, supps
630a-c reg w T coconut milk, few raspberries
730a-Americano w SF syrup
10a-3oz walleye, 2c roasted veg, oz almonds, 2c decaf w stevia, supps
12p-personal training
130p-bag jerky, med banana, supps
7p-salad w avocado & balsamic, fr egg, s chicken sausage, micro cake, supps
Throughout day-4.5 quarts water (I had a quart down already by the time I got to work - gold star!)

Sleep: In bed 8.5 hours. Woke in wee hours but fell back without getting up. Wide awake 430-ish, dozed for a while, got up at 5. Did not need to get up until maybe 6, GAH. Took a long, slow, leisurely, reading-filled breakfast to make up for it - a full hour!

Body: Feels good. Stiff & achey first thing but nothing specific. Neck feels tweaked again, though! This time, I think I must have slept wrong. Nothing happened yesterday. Weird. Session felt fantastic. Helped not to dwell for more than 1 second on last week.

Brain: Doing light years better. I feel normal. Happy. Hooray! Unfortunately, I can't pinpoint exactly why. But I'll do what I can to stay here.

At training today, Steve was taking pictures of the "Train Your Trainer" extravaganza and I got super self-conscious because I was wearing a very snug tank along with my always-snug shorty shorts. Back in the locker room, I had to go look in the mirror at what I expected would be Muffin-Top City. And guess what...I looked fine. I did not have any poochy fat rolls spilling over - I even went out to have Heather take a picture to remind me that I look fine. (She was on the phone, though.) But I want to remember that feeling of truly "getting" that I am not fat...I've just got a little more belly fat than I'd like to have. That's it.

I then had a simple little "ah ha" moment: no matter your size, wear things that fit. If that means you back into your "fat jeans" for a few months, fine, do it - no one but you knows they are bigger anyway! And even you will be fine with it, because you will look so much better in them than in jeans that are a size too small. And if you look better, you'll feel better, more confident, better able to make smart decisions, bringing you back to a healthier happier body composition. For me, that means stop pushing myself into those thermometer jeans for a few more weeks. And I bought some new less-snug workout shorts at Target. Wear what looks good TODAY.

WOD: Stronger.

Please, for the love of Pete, think Kanye here, not Kelly freaking Clarkson:
Work it harder, make it better,
do it faster, makes us stronger,
more than ever, never over,
Our work is never over.
Every second you have a choice: you can get stronger, or you can get weaker. In body, in mind, in spirituality.

In front of the fridge, gripping a barbell, at your desk, with your spouse, on a long run, with a book, with your child, in front of the mirror - in every situation you have a choice: do you make yourself stronger by putting your full focus into the moment, devoting yourself to health, knowledge, growing, learning, loving, absorbing every bit of the moment that you can?

Or do you make yourself weaker by zoning out, judging, doubting, multi-tasking, turning negative, just plain overthinking?

Choose strength. Be fully present in each and every moment. It sounds simple, but we all know it's not easy. You will probably always have to work at this. However, it's worth the effort. This moment, right now, at all times, is the only one moment you are ever guaranteed to have. Let it make you stronger.

A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
-Wayne Dyer

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