Wednesday, June 20

5a-Larabar, c reg, supps
6a-c reg w/ 2T coconut milk
745a-2c reg
10a-Larabar, 2c decaf w 2T creamer
12p-bag pork jerky, supps
1p-2c reg
3p-Larabar, salad w balsamic, few pinches coconut flakes - shaky low blood sugar
515p-.78m walk
530p-yoga class
715p-3T coconut butter, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Really wanted to fast since I fucked up on Monday night. Had to be logical and remember that I don't want to feel like shit all day today, nor do I want to impact tomorrow's training. So: I will fast on Friday as planned but ate today. Instead I cut calories today by eating, basically, Paleo candy. I know it's not the best nutrition source, but it was an acceptable compromise between what I wanted to do and what I needed do.

Sleep: In bed 8 hours. Alarm woke me, ugh - really could have used another hour. No class tomorrow means I can sleep the hell in, and I will.

Body: Got up a little stiff everywhere, and realized it was the first time in over a week. Caloric deficit immediately seems to translate to aches & pains.

Felt decent in workout, though in class I could feel tightness in my whole backside when we did warm-up squats. Hello, glutes & hams! Not sore, just tight. Good once moving. Also, went to bed and woke up a little bit phlegmy, throat a bit sore. Worried I may be getting a cold. That would be better than new allergies, I guess, but I don't want to be sick at all! It could also just be all this fucking dampness. My basement dehumidifier is NOT keeping up. (But I don't have to evacuate and my critters are not drowning. No complaints.)

Short walk before yoga, run moved to Friday with Lisa. Yoga felt fantastic, felt very  strong.

Brain: Again a bit tired but otherwise feeling good.

Habit: Last night I decided my habit (yo) is going to be telling myself, "I love my body just as it is right now. ______." That blank can be "I can do X chinups," or "I could deadlift Dustin if he weren't so awkwardly shaped," or "My calves are fantastic," or "It was called 'perfect' by my husband" - whatever positive thing I need to hear at that moment. And I'm going say this every single time that I think a critical thought about my body, or look in the mirror without admiring it, or whatever.

Any time I'm in a negative place regarding what I look like, I will replace the negative with positive, and be absolutely relentless about it.

Only good things can come of this effort, I'm certain of it. Won't you join me?

Fill-in-the-blank positive thoughts used already today (mostly in front of the mirror during yoga): -I'm going to kick ass in yoga. -My shoulders look great. -My waist looks tiny. -Look at my forearms!

Here's some related food for thought from the Whole9 geniuses:

WOD: Laugh. This one seems pretty self-explanatory: if you're laughing, you're having a good time, right? But I'm going down a different train of thought today. One of the biggest changes I've seen with my fluctuating confidence levels is the ability to laugh at myself.

For most of my life, and on the days when I'm down and out and think I suck, making a stupid mistake is shameful, a solid confirmation that I do indeed suck, and I suck at everything, and everyone else thinks I suck as well.

But when I'm feeling good about who I am, when I'm confidently strolling running gleefully through my life, I am not only able to laugh at my stupid mistakes, but I also go around telling everyone else about them so that they, too, can get in a good laugh. At my expense. But I don't care, because it is no expense to me.  It's simply a funny story, and why wouldn't I share a funny story with my people?

And it is good for others, who are intimidated by me (my brain says: impossibly so!) to realize that not only am I far from perfect, I fuck up just like they do. Sometimes more so. We're all human, we all do stupid shit, and it's not because we suck. It's because that's life, and laughing at your mistakes, then letting go & moving on, is always going to be better than berating yourself for them.

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
-W.H. Auden

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