Sunday, June 24

10a-2 fr eggs, c asparagus, 2c stir fry w/ balsamic, 4T coconut butter, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
12p-10.79m bike ride w/ Hop
3p-salad w/ tomato dressing, bag pork jerky, Arctic Zero bar
6p(rest)-Hawaiian chicken salad (spinach & field greens, mandarin oranges, pineapple, chicken breast, poppyseed dressing)
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed. Solid, but still woke up pretty tired. Better later on.

Body: Slight ache in right shin. Fuck. It's very faint, but it's there, and on such a moderated attempt (half walking yesterday, after all)...fuck.This prompted eating shit ton of veg at breakfast rather than fast as I was thinking I'd do. Fuel recovery and strong bone-building. I also felt very dehydrated, and sniffly again...cold? allergies? Whatever you are, GO AWAY!!

Spent time probing & analyzing the shin in afternoon. Feels more like a typical sore muscle, felt when I lift & release my foot. 

Brain: I'm growing more concerned about trying to drop calories/fast while still fueling recovery for Ragnar training. So I think: okay, I'll eat Whole9 recs on days that I run, and on days that I lift with Dustin. Well, that leaves me all of 2 days to cut calories/fast, and that's Friday/Saturday. I can't fast for two straight days, obvs. And it's always hard (mentally) to chop calories in "weekend mode." So I'm sort of spinning on what would work for me. And I'm also wondering if it's time to cut my bonus pull/RDL sessions down, or maybe make them pulls only. I fear I'm going down the path of trying to do too much again. And I am worried and scared and I just want someone to tell me exactly what to do!

So, for today at least, without a Dustin to hold my hand and tell me exactly what to do, I thought about where I was: not enough sleep, either cold or allergies to battle, faint shin pain, Dustin tomorrow AND Tuesday. All of that added up to:
-Skip basement lifting. Gut reaction: Shit! That makes two straight weeks now! Secondary logic-based reaction: it's not harming me to skip them. It is in rest that we get stronger, and I'm clearly still doing plenty of lifting. The bike ride was Hop's idea, and I wasn't sure I was up for it, but it felt as easy as eating. Glad I did it - both because it was enjoyable and also because it kept me from feeling even a bit lazy.
-Eat Whole9 style. Gut reaction: That makes "week 1" of this cycle a total fucking failure. Secondary logic-based reaction: ONE day did not fuck up this week...many days did. But more importantly, higher calories to ensure I stay healthy is not failure. Get over the black-and-white thinking!

Some ideas I've come up with:
-I could go Whole30, and quit trying to cut calories. Eat purely for health for a month. See what happens.
-I could change my running to a two-week cycle, that would look like so: 2 on, 3 off, 2 on, 3 off, 1 on, 1 off, 1 on, 1 off, repeat. Same average as 3 days per week, but it builds in more rest after the consecutives. That was a first stab. Will keep thinking on that one.

Habit: I didn't need my specific prompts today, just no negative thinking to combat. Awesome! But I did have an enjoyable moment appreciating my arms on the bike ride. The shadows my arms cast were clearly-defined muscle. No soft lines at all. BOMB.

Priorities: Caught up on top-tier chores like Quicken & laundry. Long easy chatty bike ride with husband was so good for my brain and for us. Read outside on blanket w/ kitties. Played with cutest pile of puppies ever. Supper with two old friends. Despite all the angsting, I made sure it was a good good day.

Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.
-Harry Emerson Fosdick

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