Friday, June 8

530a-c reg
630a-c reg w/ stevia
7a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-2c decaf
1p-pulls/RDLs/stands
during/after workout-2s Ultima, 1s BCAAs
645p-2 fr eggs, 3 sl bacon, 2 sl toast, slab o' ham, 2c cantaloupe, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Fast day planned. First hunger pangs at 11am, but I think I can blame that on emailing with Joy about delicious foods like meatza and micro cakes and Larabars and Uberbars and Kind+ bars...yep, brought it on myself! The beauty of fasting, for me, is that it doesn't matter what I'm craving: I'm not eating, end of story.

Unless, as you've seen, I feel depletion in addition to cravings. Then I'll feed my body. Like when I got home at supper time. I was feeling tired and anxious. Long-run anxious. this is hilarious, because tomorrow's run (solo, Warrior Training class canceled) is planned for a whole 40 minutes. What the fuck is there to be anxious about over a 40-minute run? Oh, that it will hurt, that it will be hard, that I won't feel like a rockstar, etc. That's all. Shoot me. Anyway, so I ate. Whatever. I ate real food, resisted the dozen "candy" bars (Larabars, etc) in my cupboard, and I did not make a micro cake. That's success.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Turned in at 9, took a bit to fall asleep, but it was solid. Awake at 430, dozed in/out for a half hour, trying to fall back asleep. Felt rested but there was no reason I couldn't sleep in, so I tried. No dice.

Body: I feel pretty excellent, as I should, coming off a rather high surplus yesterday...oops. Shins/ankle fronts still sore. Still concerning.

Workout was fucking EASY. Barely broke a sweat. Is this what it's like to come into Friday fully fueled? Interesting!!

Brain: Doing good, considering. I'm in my too-small jeans again today (weekly picture time, ugh) and this week I didn't put them in the dryer...nice try, but still too damn tight! I actually laughed pulling them onto my legs because I seriously thought it just wasn't going to happen. But I got 'em on, and hate wearing 'em. Why am I doing this to myself? I'm now comparing this to weighing in on the scale...is it helping me reach my goal? And if not, why the fuck am I doing it? This weekly torture may have come to an end with that realization.

On the other hand, I keep feeling the solid muscle up higher, at my natural waist, and that overrides the belly fat angst. SOLID. Which is my Word of the Day, thus completely appropriate!

Yeah, I have a WOD. But my W is not a workout - it's one single word or phrase that I want to focus on. Something to solidify my wandering motivation, or eliminate my angst, or whatever. My Wellness Tracking file is pre-programmed to pop up a new word daily, because I'm a fucking rockstar Excel nerd like that. Maybe I should share it daily with y'all? Maybe I will. Today it's SOLID. Like muscles. Like focus. Like drive. Like effort. Like iron. Like results.

If you haven't gone over to read any PaleoPepper stuff yet, I suggest that you start with this one. It talks about feeling deprived, being overwhelmed with choices, and a culture that makes you feel like shit so it can sell you self-help. This post spoke to my very soul.


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