Friday, June 29

615a-c reg, supps
845a-c reg
930a-2c reg w stevia
7a-3.6m run/walk 
2p-salad w 2 hb eggs & balsamic, 3oz pork roast, c roasted cauliflower, oz chicken, Uberbar, 2c decaf w 2T coconut milk
630p-micro cake, oz raw cashews, few bites honey sweet potato salad, Uberbar, supps
830p-2 sl smoked pork tenderloin
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Plan: full fast day, mostly to make up for the week. Reality: I felt I should eat at least one large nutritious meal to provide vitamins & minerals & allathat for recovery so I can run again tomorrow without issues. I'll play with some fasting Sat/Sun to keep caloric average down where it should be, but I do intend to fast all day on Monday so I can't/won't go overboard.

Sleep: 9.5 hours in bed. Incredible. Last night I was falling asleep with my book (never happens) at 745 so I just got ready for bed. Crawled in at 830p. Slept solidly all the way to 6a. I needed that! I also took a 2-hour nap at 330p. Hot damn.

Body: Shin fine, neck maybe a bit worse, feet fine. No pain on run, though tight/sore calves afterward.

Brain: BLEAH. I should not have started the day with a run. It didn't go well, and that brought me down. I had this shitty thought: "Maybe running is never going to feel as good as it did in 2010, so perhaps I shouldn't even fucking bother!" I know that even if it isn't effortless, it's still worth doing, and I'm not going to give up, but that's right where my mind went. Stupid, I know.

While outside watering flowers & my tomato plant (holy shit I have 3 tomatoes growing!) and feeding birds and making cats deliriously happy by taking them out into the grass and enjoying the peacefulness of morning in a small town, I started feeling better and stopped thinking "I suck" so that I could think logically about all of this MEHness. Once again I started wondering whether I'm just plain doing too much. Running. Dieting/fasting. Lifting. Pulls/RDLs. Mental stress.
-The mental stress is PURE ME: there is no tax season or looming awfulness or any reason whatsoever, just my own negative self-talk. But it's still a stress on my body, which needs to be taken into consideration (even as I work on killing that negative voice dead).
-The dieting is perhaps reaching that point where the body fights me to hold onto the last happy 10/15 lbs, and maybe that's why it's gotten so much harder, so many more cravings to fight.
-Running is not going to stop.
-Lifting is not going to stop.
-I decided I CAN cut out the minute mania sessions, as the other things are more important. I can still log plenty of pullups at home and I can do handstand practice post-run or -lifting.

Habit: I ran a good 1.5 miles without my shirt on. That's progress. As I ran I told myself that even if today's run wasn't awesome, I still had many things to be grateful for. I am not injured. I have healthy bones and tendons and ligaments and muscles. I am out here fucking RUNNING and Sabrina of two months ago would crying tears of joy.

Jen Comas Keck totally copied me and wrote a great post about how your thoughts affect you, and how important it is to make those thoughts positive. You should read it. NOW GO NOW.

Priorities: Today my priority was me. WFH stuff was easy tasks, I took a bath, I napped, I was very kind to myself after my morning of negativity.

In the eve, went to a party for Jack, which was a wonderful reminder that I have it very, very good. My closest loved ones are all still alive and healthy, and I am extremely grateful to be able to say that.

WOD: Deadlift. Instinct: Screw you, WOD! Thanks for reminding me of my failures! Logic: a few missed deadlifts does not make me a failure. Giving up, that would make me a failure. Stay healthy, stay strong, and don't give up. EVER.

Quote:

Good ideas don't work unless you do.
-Stephen Covey

Thursday, June 28

5a-2 fr eggs, 3oz pork roast, .5oz roasted nuts, .5oz raw cashews, 4T coconut butter, c reg, supps
615a-c reg w 2T MimicCreme
730a-Americano w SF syrup
10a-mini Larabar, 2c decaf
12p-pulls/snatches/stigmata
2p-c roasted cauliflower (that I thought was walleye when I grabbed it), salad w HB egg & .5 avocado & balsamic, bag pork jerky, mini Larabar
4p-4c decaf w 2T coconut creamer
Throughout day-1.5 quarts water

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed. In at 930, a half hour late, then wide effing awake at 430a. Blech, WHY? Dozed for a bit, but just got up at 5a. Felt fairly good though brain a bit low.

Body: Feels good. Shin the same as yesterday. Right foot seems normal again. Neck about the same as yesterday, and not bothered by snatches.

Sunday's lifting plan, which I decided on while stretching with Joy, will be to deadlift only 135 for all sets, thinking form form form. I read Mike Robertson's ridonkulously detailed deadlift post and picked up a few things I will keep in my mind. I like having a plan. Feels better.

Brain: Overate big time at breakfast. Cravings. Dunno why, probably sleep. I at least feel like I can easily choose fat sources over carb sources, haven't got any ZOMG BREAD cravings going on. But I should probably stop buying coconut butter. I focused on acceptance / build a bridge & get over it / did what I could to eat properly the rest of the day. I also think a bit of the MEHness is due to NSS being gone...as if a full week without Dustin is going to be enough to backslide me into a weak, fat carbaholic. (Though to be fair, that did kind of happen when I was gone to Boston. But I'm not on vacation. I will be fine.)

Tearing open another callus, while maddening and angering and frustrating to add that setback, feels pretty bad ass. Good for the brain.

Habit: A little tougher today, for no real reason other than the MEHness. I'm wearing my thermometer jeans with a snug top, which I wouldn't have done 2 months ago. So look at that, big improvement! And yet I rationalize with a "Well, maybe this is like the 3rd jeans wearing since they were washed and that's why." I wish that voice would STFU.

So I went back to the "I love my body just as it is right now." thinking with these fill-in-the-blanks: -I'm strong. -I am smaller than I was 8 weeks ago. -Sweet shoulders! -I'm healthy.

Priorities: KITC event with Emma. I love hanging out with her; she makes me feel like the cool aunt.

WOD: Recharge. Just like rejuvenate the other day. Funny timing on these, as Joy is taking a second deload week in a row, and I'm feeling like maybe I should be deloading. Things are great in my life but I feel very MEH in my brain, and it's being reflected in my deadlifts at least. Other workouts seem to be progressing on schedule (Didn't I just run in Merrells with no adverse effects?!), yet I still feel like they aren't (Well, you know, I walked 1/3 of that run). What is that about? Anyway, the key to it is not to stress about it, but just observe what's going on, do what I can today to put myself on the right track, whatever that may be.

Quote:

"The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” - Dr. Ann Wigmore

Wednesday, June 27

5a-c reg
6a-c reg w 2T MimicCreme, supps
630a-taught class, did warmup & finisher (2:00 jump rope)
715a-pulls/swings/stands (half)
8a-mini Larabar, s Ultima & BCAAs
830a-2c reg
10a-donated blood
11a-2 macaroons, s Ultima
1145a (LAPW mtg)-salad (iceberg, cukes, baby carrots, fat grape tomatoes) w T Italian dressing & 2oz chicken breast, 3c reg
3p-2s coconut flakes
430p-2.8m walk/run in Merrells (forgot fatties at home!)
pre- & post-run & post-yoga-s Ultima & a salt tab
515p-yoga
8p-3oz pork roast
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Would've fasted today but for lunch meeting & blood donation. Did what I could.

Sleep: In bed 8 hours. Took a long while to fall asleep, up at 245a for b/r. Mind not as busy this time, though it did start down the road of "What's going on with my deadlifts?!" What I had to tell myself, to stop the fixation, was: "It's Dustin's job to figure that out. Not yours." Which may or may not be true, but obviously I am not going to find any light bulb ideas at 3am!! Got up a little tired and cranky. Made a conscious decision NOT to let low sleep put me in a bad mood.

Body: Shin pain only when I flex toes up, fine when pointed. And nothing in "normal life." Neck still there but much improved. Felt nothing while doing handstands. Inside of right foot occasionally feels like it wants to cramp up. Little on the tired side, but brain is boosting me up.

Scheduled a massage for Saturday. Yes, Dustin, I pretty much do everything you tell me to do.  It means I'll be driving a shit ton on Saturday (Warrior Training east of Miltona, massage in Hoffman, pea pick NW of Miltona, then home...until the races in Alex. WHEW!) - but I'm sure it will be worth it. If not, Lisa & I WILL make you join us both on next Friday's training! (Actually, on that note, I was thinking I'd benefit most from you doing my deadlift session but that would be Friday when Lisa's there which might be too much going on? I'll take squats if so. Either way, I'm sure I'll learn something.)

Brain: Choosing to be positive today. Got up grumpy and whiny, and told myself to happy the fuck up - just DECIDE to be happy - it worked! Did things to cheer myself up: gave a precious beloved macaroon to Dustin for his birthday; read Dan John while donating blood; donated blood; ate my last 2 macaroons as post-donation re-fuel; went to LAPW meeting where I received my 1-year membership award, was installed as Treasurer for the coming year...

AND I received an award there:



Humbling and overwhelming. I should give credit where it's due: I've always been a bleeding heart, but through Tastefully Simple (& LAPW) I've been provided so many opportunities to give back that I've taken it to a whole 'nother level. And for anyone reading this who feels even the slightest guilt over not doing more, remember this: I have no children, thus more time and money to share than most of you. Be a parent first, donate your time and money later. Your kid(s) only get one childhood - make it the best you can.

Habit: Belly back to normal size, chose a super flattering outfit due to LAPW meeting and had no issues.

Priorities: UPS delivered a bike rack for my car today. Hop's idea! This means I don't have to keep a bike here at TS (my crap bike needs a new tire, not worth it, donating it) AND we can bring our bikes up north next month AND perhaps we can get into a weekend routine of dragging our bikes around and seeing places beyond Sauk & Osakis. I don't expect us to start riding 50-milers or anything, but more like: let's go eat at the Fire Station, but let's load up the bikes and first we'll go for a ride.

WOD: Strong. Strong in mind, strong in spirit, strong in body. Seek the trifecta, my friends.

Quote:
I think there is no better way to invite a human being to view their body differently than by inviting them to be an athlete, by revering one's body as an instrument rather than just an ornament. It's a really great way to reorient how you see your body so you can see it as this incredible, awe-inspiring machine that you need to fuel well in order for it to function.
-Alanis Morissette

Tuesday, June 26

615a-2 fr eggs, 2c stir fry w shredded coconut, s chicken sausage, c reg, supps
730a-c reg w 2T coconut milk
815a-2c reg
10a-1.5c reg
11a-Larabar, 1 macaroon
12p-personal training
130p-salad w .5 avocado & balsamic, 3oz walleye, 2 sm plums, 1 macaroon
3p-10min walk outside, barefoot, parking lot/road, w my team
630p-bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, 2c stir fry, 4 raw carrots w 4T tomato dressing, 2c decaf w 2T coconut milk, supps
730p-foam rolled, Sticked, tennis balled entire lower body
745p-few bites roasted cauliflower (NOM)
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Today's goal: eat a perfect Whole9 kind of day, minus the PWO snack (just eat a meal). Plugged everything into SparkPeople, will share details later.

Sleep: 9 hours in bed, but...was wide awake at 315. Hit b/r, drank some water, racing brain kept me from falling back. Nothing bad or stressful, just wide awake and thinking.

Some thinking about the unfairness of my running issues, and what if I can't run Ragnar or the Train & Stay or the 50k, but tried to steer clear of that and redirect myself to things I can do something about. Decided to lower my 401k deferral and put the difference into our "new house" savings account. Thinking about what might be my ideal job. (Top two ideas: Doing bookwork for many small businesses. -OR- NSS grows so big that they need a FT bookkeeper. Sign me up, baby!)

Anyway, woke early at 5ish but stayed in bed & dozed, up at 6. A bit tired and dragging, so I had a slow, leisurely, crazy-healthy breakfast. Made today a goal of perfect nutrition to prevent any "I'm tired so I should eat more" excuses.

Body: Neck still tweaked but it's improving. Inner thighs a teensy bit sore. Shin still sore but only if I really flex; no longer there with normal walking. Neck felt better PWO.

Sat at work: 1 hour for meeting, 3ish hours at desk.

Brain: Started out pretty "meh" again. Tired and beating myself up a little over last night's nutfest. Got an incredible boost from a lead who thanked me for thanking her for the TeL nomination (follow that?) - she called me "a strong, confident, passionate woman who I respect very much and am extremely proud of" - you can't read that about yourself and not tear up. Especially when you don't feel very confident!

So today I have decided I should simply act like I truly am that confident. Fake it til you make it! If I pretend that I am self-assured, confident, proud of myself, happy with who I am; if I talk like I am, especially inside my own head,  then eventually it will become my new way of thinking.

One "tough love" thing I told myself was "Just fucking be positive already. It ain't that god damned hard! You're healthy, you have a good job, you have financial security, literally millions of people would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Nobody likes a pitiful whiner. Be a grateful happy person starting RANOW."

Something I did to feel better immediately: bought Quiet Cove tokens for each of my nominators and a couple for my SpartaPowerTreatBuddy. It never ceases to amaze me how good it makes ME feel to do something nice for others, no matter how tiny.

Had a great meeting with Sandy (my direct lead) today as well; I really felt comfortable expressing some concerns about the team and company, and I walked out feeling so grateful that she is my lead. She's amazing.

I finished It Starts With Food this morning. I want everyone in the world to read it. Or at least, everyone in my world. I want my people to be the picture of glowing health! I want ME to be the picture of glowing health. I think I can use people like my mom as motivation to be the best version of me that I can be. If I stop whining about the lack of bread and ice cream in my life, be content that I am healthier this way, and achieve the things I want to achieve, maybe that will inspire her to do more than just "cut back" on grains & dairy. And even if it doesn't, wouldn't it be better to be a non-whining, content, achiever?!

Habit: Pretty good. Belly a bit bloated this morning thanks to last night's nutfest (hence the beating myself up over it) so I chose a dress that is belly-flattering. It's working well. Did have to spin around and admire my calves at one point when I started drifting negative in front of the mirror.

Priorities: 4 more unsubscibes!

Texted Hop this morning asking if he'd be home tonight; he was not home at bedtime last night, and tomorrow night I'll be at NSS pretty late. So just gave him a little notice/prodding to please be home tonight - and it worked!

WOD: Rejuvenate. This means refilling my bucket. The bucket gets holes from training, work, resisting food temptations, lack of sleep, noise, injuries, cloudy days, the general public, oh so many ways! In order to patch & plug those holes and refill your bucket, you need to do the things that refresh & rejuvenate YOU. The means of doing so is going to be something different for everyone. Last week Dustin talked about getting a massage, and my mom adores them, hell - most people do. But I have zero interest in massages. I don't like strangers touching me; this is not relaxing!

But I do like curling up with a book & my kitties on a blanket in my back yard. I love an easy morning run. I like a leisurely bike ride. I love a walk in the woods. (Any time in the woods. Unless it's Crow Wing State Park and populated by 8 bajillion mosquitos!) I like a motorcycle ride through the country. I haven't done this in ages (since I was married to a farmer) but I fucking adore sitting in a cornfield, especially at harvest time, listening to the wind rustling through the leaves. I love a run with someone (almost anyone!), though particularly with Lisa. I love kayaking around Lake Bountiful with Amy. I Everyone loves an afternoon nap. The major theme here is I like silence & time alone. This is what I require to stay sane, and I'm very grateful that I know what I need and can recognize when I need it. I hope you can say the same.

Quote:

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.
-Albert Einstein

Monday, June 25

5a-Larabar, bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, c reg, supps
6a-c reg w 2T coconut milk
630a-taught class, did warmup only
8a-2c reg, Larabar
10a-2 amazing macaroons, 2c decaf w 2T coconut creamer
1045a-personal training
12p-bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, salad w avocado & balsamic, med apple
2p-afternoon train (~20 min)
615p-2c asparagus, 2oz mixed raw nuts, 2oz mixed burnt nuts, 3T coconut butter
Throughout day-3.5 quarts water

This week's eating plan: play with fasting partial days, keep eating PWO for recovery, but fast before workouts (on non-Dustin days) as long as I'm feeling good.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed. Solid, woke naturally about 430a (alarm for 450) and dozed for a while. Nice!

Body: Feeling good. Bit stiff all over. Shin just as sore as yesterday. Perhaps worsened by bike ride? Post-session: tweaked neck. Very tight right trap. Kept regularly stretching and rubbing and talking nicely to it. Iced in eve.

Serious GI distress early morning. I suspect the lack of supplements all day Saturday caused problems rather than what I had eaten. Back on track today, mostly, though I spaced on bringing supps to work. Gah!

Brain: Worried about shin. Not end-of-the-world worried, but very concerned. Bright spot: a gift from Joy of two new Larabar flavors and a bag of wondertastic perfect macaroons. My people are the bomb diggity!

Here is why everyone needs a Dustin: I told him my shin still hurt. He asked more about where exactly, when it started, etc, then simply said, "Keep an eye on it." Calm. Unemotional. Rational. I wish my internal voice sounded a lot more like him.

I got my Turn 'Em Loose nominations. There were 6, and each of them described a pretty amazing person. The kind of person I want to be but usually don't feel that I am; I desperately want to live up to those words. I wish I felt like I deserved them! I must have the lowest self-esteem in the world; I don't feel like they could possibly be describing me. And yet, they obviously are, the things they say that I did are all true, so why do I feel such a disconnect? Maybe I just have higher expectations for everyone else, because I mostly just feel like I'm doing the bare minimum that any average human would do.

Habit: I am already feeling massive improvements from this habit after just one single week. I still have many mirror observations where I zero in on my belly immediately, but my thoughts aren't immediately negative! However, I am still working at coaching my thoughts in several subtle ways. Like if I look at my belly and don't think negative, but don't think positive either, then I'll prompt myself for a positive comment. An example from this morning: I like my proportions, in terms of shoulder/waist/hips, just want to flatten that belly a bit  (here I prompted myself to end positively) although it looks good just as it is, right now.  I can hardly believe the progress I've made in one week!

Priorities: 4 more unsubscribes. Fewer junk in my inbox, less time wasted, more time for the good things in life.

WOD: Fuel. As in, food is fuel for athletes. And I am an athlete*. And I need to eat like it. And you should, too. High-quality food full of vitamins and minerals. Enough to fuel stellar performance and recovery. That's really all there is to it. Super simple. So why isn't it easy?

*Do you realize that saying this still doesn't feel natural to me?  That I still  think of myself as a lazy-ass bookworm? WHAT THE FUCK. Maybe my next habit focus should be changing that line of thinking.

Quote:
Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it.
-William Durant

Sunday, June 24

10a-2 fr eggs, c asparagus, 2c stir fry w/ balsamic, 4T coconut butter, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
12p-10.79m bike ride w/ Hop
3p-salad w/ tomato dressing, bag pork jerky, Arctic Zero bar
6p(rest)-Hawaiian chicken salad (spinach & field greens, mandarin oranges, pineapple, chicken breast, poppyseed dressing)
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed. Solid, but still woke up pretty tired. Better later on.

Body: Slight ache in right shin. Fuck. It's very faint, but it's there, and on such a moderated attempt (half walking yesterday, after all)...fuck.This prompted eating shit ton of veg at breakfast rather than fast as I was thinking I'd do. Fuel recovery and strong bone-building. I also felt very dehydrated, and sniffly again...cold? allergies? Whatever you are, GO AWAY!!

Spent time probing & analyzing the shin in afternoon. Feels more like a typical sore muscle, felt when I lift & release my foot. 


Brain: I'm growing more concerned about trying to drop calories/fast while still fueling recovery for Ragnar training. So I think: okay, I'll eat Whole9 recs on days that I run, and on days that I lift with Dustin. Well, that leaves me all of 2 days to cut calories/fast, and that's Friday/Saturday. I can't fast for two straight days, obvs. And it's always hard (mentally) to chop calories in "weekend mode." So I'm sort of spinning on what would work for me. And I'm also wondering if it's time to cut my bonus pull/RDL sessions down, or maybe make them pulls only. I fear I'm going down the path of trying to do too much again. And I am worried and scared and I just want someone to tell me exactly what to do!

So, for today at least, without a Dustin to hold my hand and tell me exactly what to do, I thought about where I was: not enough sleep, either cold or allergies to battle, faint shin pain, Dustin tomorrow AND Tuesday. All of that added up to:
-Skip basement lifting. Gut reaction: Shit! That makes two straight weeks now! Secondary logic-based reaction: it's not harming me to skip them. It is in rest that we get stronger, and I'm clearly still doing plenty of lifting. The bike ride was Hop's idea, and I wasn't sure I was up for it, but it felt as easy as eating. Glad I did it - both because it was enjoyable and also because it kept me from feeling even a bit lazy.
-Eat Whole9 style. Gut reaction: That makes "week 1" of this cycle a total fucking failure. Secondary logic-based reaction: ONE day did not fuck up this week...many days did. But more importantly, higher calories to ensure I stay healthy is not failure. Get over the black-and-white thinking!

Some ideas I've come up with:
-I could go Whole30, and quit trying to cut calories. Eat purely for health for a month. See what happens.
-I could change my running to a two-week cycle, that would look like so: 2 on, 3 off, 2 on, 3 off, 1 on, 1 off, 1 on, 1 off, repeat. Same average as 3 days per week, but it builds in more rest after the consecutives. That was a first stab. Will keep thinking on that one.

Habit: I didn't need my specific prompts today, just no negative thinking to combat. Awesome! But I did have an enjoyable moment appreciating my arms on the bike ride. The shadows my arms cast were clearly-defined muscle. No soft lines at all. BOMB.

Priorities: Caught up on top-tier chores like Quicken & laundry. Long easy chatty bike ride with husband was so good for my brain and for us. Read outside on blanket w/ kitties. Played with cutest pile of puppies ever. Supper with two old friends. Despite all the angsting, I made sure it was a good good day.

Quote:
Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.
-Harry Emerson Fosdick

Saturday, June 23

515a-2 fr eggs, c zucchini & eggplant hash, c stir fry, s chicken sausage, Larabar, 2c reg w 2T coconut milk
7a-2c reg
8a-4.1m run/walk hill repeats at Warrior Training
9a-Larabar
930a-fr egg on toast w/ honey mustard, c stir fry, slice toast w/ coconut butter, c reg, supps
1030a-bottle diet A&W
430p-2 chicken breasts, c cole slaw, 2 pickle spears
830p-ton of roasted pork, half a roasted onion*
9p-6 pullups on wooden beam (could've done more, but it hurt my hands) on the bar's porch, just because it was there & I could
11p-bottle caffeine-free diet Coke, bag Cholula jerky, bag pumpkin seeds
Throughout day-2 quarts water

This day fell apart in terms of my initial plans for fasting, due to a lack of sleep. SUCH A LONG DAY. Awake at 430a and to bed at 130a. I drove home from the wedding (Blackduck) since Hop drove there & so he could drink. Drive was over 3 hours, and starting after my usual bedtime. I was in that mode where you close your eyes to blink and just want to keep them closed. Ugh. Needed food to distract/stay awake/fill cravings. Damn it all. Silver lining: it was another good lesson in adaptation.

*We hit the local bar where there was a hog roast after a bike run...we bought in on that action and discovered something genius: they had roasted onions right in with the meat. Just quartered-up onions. They were mad fucking delicious. I was using the big slices as "scoops" for the pork. No sauce, obvs no bread, and nothing was missing. Pure perfection.

Sleep: 6.5 hours. In late (1030) due to sad excitement in town (ambulance, fire & rescue; car fell on a guy working on it, yikes, but I guess he's doing okay) and just wide fucking awake at 430. Tried to fall back but couldn't. Was overheated. Felt okay though this prompted me to eat, not fast.

Body: Bit stiff, otherwise good. Cold seems to be on its way out already?! Run felt GREAT. Wish I'd been able to run all trips up!! Rest of day was sitting, laziness, 6 hours stuffed into the car. Ugh.

Brain: Real good for most of it. Was not as anxious about run as I'd have been going solo, I think. Wedding was fine, kind of boring (few family members came), though it was also nicely relaxing. Bar visit was fun. Got in on a raffle, won 2 tees & a bottle of Bacardi!

Got through a whole bunch more of It Starts With Food.  Thinking about how to incorporate their eating recommendations more and still achieve fat loss.

Habit: Phrases used today, following "I love my body just as it is right now": -The hill repeats were easy. -I have a kickass upper back. -I've got newly visible muscle indents! -I impressed the shit out of the drunks on Funkley's porch.

Priorities: I went to the wedding that was 6 round-trip hours away, purely for the family. I was disappointed at how few others came; clearly I've inherited my father's drive to spend time with family, a trait that's fading amongst the generations. (Hi, I'm 83 years old.) Noble & good & allathat, sure, but sometimes it requires sacrifices, like spending half of a beautiful day inside a car. I guess that's called being an adult, no?

Quote:
Love is the willingness to accept another person with all of his or her faults and limitations, and to be infinitely grateful that this other person accepts you with all of yours.
-Harold S Kushner

Friday, June 22

6a-c reg, supps
830a-c reg w/ T coconut milk & stevia
1030a-2c reg
1130a-pulls/snatches/stands/pulls/plank
1215p-3.26m run w/ Lisa
7p-salad (carrots, cauliflower, bell peppers, red lettuce) w avocado & balsamic, 3oz walleye & onions, Larabar, couple T coconut butter, c decaf w MimicCreme, supps
8p-c decaf w T coconut milk
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Fast day was planned. I ate supper after reading some of It Starts With Food and their admonishments about proper nutrition and the dangers of improper recovery. That got me thinking about the very high need for solid recovery when I'm about to challenge my body to two runs in 24 hours, minor to some but pretty new for me. And especially knowing I wouldn't be as vegetable- (thus, nutrient-) heavy at breakfast like I would at supper, I figured I'd better get some solid nutrition in now.

So I'm experimenting. I think. I'm going to try fasting tomorrow until supper. And maybe Sunday, too. Remember when I joked about the Warrior Diet earlier this week? Might just be what I do over the weekend for real. I think. Will depend on how I feel.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. In a bit late due to moto ride, and couldn't sleep in past 530a. Felt pretty well rested though.

Body: Decent. Little aches in morning, abs a bit sore. Workouts were solid. Vague aches/pains in eve.

Brain: Decent. Day off was pretty busy but all was enjoyable.

Habit: Phrases used today, following "I love my body just as it is right now": -I quite love my arms. -I almost got all 8 sets! -My handstands have hugely improved. -I am strong. -That run felt great! -I like my hips.

Priorities: 4 more unsubscribes!

Quote:
Running along our journey doesn't only teach us how to keep moving forward through what life throws at us, it also makes us into the best version of ourselves. -Ashley Erickson

Thursday, June 21

545a-2 fr eggs, s chicken sausage, eggplant & zucchini "hash browns," c reg
7a-c reg w 2T coconut milk
730a-Americano w stevia
945a-5oz tuna w 2T mustard, c stir fry, 2c snap peas, sm plum
12p-personal training
130p-2 hb eggs w 2T mustard on 2 sl toast, c stir fry, sm plum, Larabar
5p-supps (forgot entirely in morning & thus also didn't bring any to work)
5p-1.25m walk in Merrells
7p (rest)-salad (iceberg, cole slaw, green peppers, baby carrots, hb eggs, cukes, French dressing), .5c peas, 6oz steak w shrooms & onions, baked potato w t mustard
830p-T coconut butter
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Still wishing I could make up for Monday. Planned to only fuel training & recovery then skip supper, but the hubster wanted to go out to supper somewhere on the motorcycle. Couldn't turn down that option, given I've hardly seen him in the past week, and it was a beautiful night. At least I hit my veggie intake appropriately today; that had me feeling back on track. Also? Fuck Monday. Let it go. Build a bridge and get the fuck over it, Sabrina.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed. YEAH, BABY! Crawled in at 845p like a rockstar, woke naturally at 530a. SOLID.

Body: Real good. Trying to throw in some daily walking to give the body just a little sample, just the lightest sniff, of consecutive-day running, to start it off down the path of quick recovery.

Brain: Decent. Still kind of "meh" about work & life, but a step up from the last few days. Luckily I have a three-day weekend coming so that's lifting me up a bit. Session was a little disappointing, tried to focus on pullup success rather than deadlifts or Prowler, but you know me: that's not my default.

So I looked back and found some things that made me feel better about my session - two weeks ago when I did the medium Prowler w/o, I had 1400 calories in my belly walking into NSS. And it was deadlift de-load week. 3 weeks ago, when I successfully pulled the 205 deadlift, I walked in with 1125 calories in my belly. Today? 725. I'll blame that. And think about what to change next week.

Habit: Phrases used today, following "I love my body just as it is right now": -It's pretty fucking strong. -I can do a lot of pullups.

Early today I noticed a bit of a pattern that bugs me: I tend to refer to my body in the third person: It's strong. It's capable. My shoulders look great. My waist looks tiny.  I want to will change that thinking into ownership. I'm strong. I'm capable. I have great shoulders. I have a tiny waist.  That's a subtle but really fucking huge difference.

And yet...when I walked out of my session today, I was certainly ready to internalize my deadlift & Prowler failures as me sucking, not as my body being a bit off, or a cold coming on, or not enough calories in me. I had to give myself a righteous mental slap to stop that line of thought.

I tried out another cheesy positive phrase last night. Look into a full-length mirror (preferably naked). Look yourself in the eye. Say OUT LOUD to your reflection, "I love you, and from now on, I'm going to act like it." That's powerful stuff and I need to be doing more of it.

Priorities: I unsubscribed from FIVE email lists today. That's a little progress! I eschewed my to-do list for a long motorcycle ride & supper out with the hubster. AND at work, I got my first goal done for the year. I still have time to make some progress on my next goal before June close & Lisa's vacation & the 4th of July parade all slam me at once.


WOD: Sleep. Oh, beautiful, wondertastic, best part of my day every day: sleep is the thing that keeps me from going postal. It helps me recover from my many physical exertions, it recharges my brain, it's not something I'll do "when I'm dead," and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm a pussy for needing as much sleep as I do. With 8-9 hours, I wake up (without an alarm clock!) stronger and happier and more energetic than you can imagine. Without it, I'm tired and cranky and unhappy; and given chronic low sleep, I'll fall down into a deep, dark hole of depression that will take me months to climb out of. It's not pretty. Sleep is. Go get yourself some.

Quote:

I wish we were neighbors so you could help push me to even 1/10th of the amazing things you accomplish!!
-A friend commenting on one of my DailyMile posts. Aww!

Read This: Molly Galbraith

Good stuff here about priorities: http://mollygalbraith.com/blog/priority-shifts/

Makes me think of how much time I (and you, probably) spend online...and how much of that is wasted, useless time (not all of it, no, but let's be honest: most of it)...and how time is the most precious commodity that no one can buy more of, ever, no matter what.

My next concrete steps:
-cull more of my FB "friends" (or at least hide them) whose posts I always ignore
-take the time to unsubscribe to spammy emails
-ignore Twitter (almost everyone's feeds over to FB anyway, no?)
-when I sit down on the computer at home make a mental list of what I'm doing, exactly, and only do that; update Quicken, sure, that's important - but then stay the fuck off Facebook!

Other than wasting time online, I do feel pretty balanced between work time, me time (both physical & mental), family time, friend time, cat time, and volunteer time. That's probably more than most people can say, but I still feel I can make some improvements.

Like moving closer to work. GAWD would I love a shorter commute.

Wednesday, June 20

5a-Larabar, c reg, supps
6a-c reg w/ 2T coconut milk
715a-pulls/RDLs/stands/planks
745a-2c reg
10a-Larabar, 2c decaf w 2T creamer
12p-bag pork jerky, supps
1p-2c reg
3p-Larabar, salad w balsamic, few pinches coconut flakes - shaky low blood sugar
515p-.78m walk
530p-yoga class
645p-Larabar
715p-3T coconut butter, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Really wanted to fast since I fucked up on Monday night. Had to be logical and remember that I don't want to feel like shit all day today, nor do I want to impact tomorrow's training. So: I will fast on Friday as planned but ate today. Instead I cut calories today by eating, basically, Paleo candy. I know it's not the best nutrition source, but it was an acceptable compromise between what I wanted to do and what I needed do.

Sleep: In bed 8 hours. Alarm woke me, ugh - really could have used another hour. No class tomorrow means I can sleep the hell in, and I will.

Body: Got up a little stiff everywhere, and realized it was the first time in over a week. Caloric deficit immediately seems to translate to aches & pains.

Felt decent in workout, though in class I could feel tightness in my whole backside when we did warm-up squats. Hello, glutes & hams! Not sore, just tight. Good once moving. Also, went to bed and woke up a little bit phlegmy, throat a bit sore. Worried I may be getting a cold. That would be better than new allergies, I guess, but I don't want to be sick at all! It could also just be all this fucking dampness. My basement dehumidifier is NOT keeping up. (But I don't have to evacuate and my critters are not drowning. No complaints.)

Short walk before yoga, run moved to Friday with Lisa. Yoga felt fantastic, felt very  strong.

Brain: Again a bit tired but otherwise feeling good.

Habit: Last night I decided my habit (yo) is going to be telling myself, "I love my body just as it is right now. ______." That blank can be "I can do X chinups," or "I could deadlift Dustin if he weren't so awkwardly shaped," or "My calves are fantastic," or "It was called 'perfect' by my husband" - whatever positive thing I need to hear at that moment. And I'm going say this every single time that I think a critical thought about my body, or look in the mirror without admiring it, or whatever.

Any time I'm in a negative place regarding what I look like, I will replace the negative with positive, and be absolutely relentless about it.

Only good things can come of this effort, I'm certain of it. Won't you join me?

Fill-in-the-blank positive thoughts used already today (mostly in front of the mirror during yoga): -I'm going to kick ass in yoga. -My shoulders look great. -My waist looks tiny. -Look at my forearms!

Here's some related food for thought from the Whole9 geniuses: http://whole9life.com/2012/06/what-will-you-do-today/

WOD: Laugh. This one seems pretty self-explanatory: if you're laughing, you're having a good time, right? But I'm going down a different train of thought today. One of the biggest changes I've seen with my fluctuating confidence levels is the ability to laugh at myself.

For most of my life, and on the days when I'm down and out and think I suck, making a stupid mistake is shameful, a solid confirmation that I do indeed suck, and I suck at everything, and everyone else thinks I suck as well.

But when I'm feeling good about who I am, when I'm confidently strolling running gleefully through my life, I am not only able to laugh at my stupid mistakes, but I also go around telling everyone else about them so that they, too, can get in a good laugh. At my expense. But I don't care, because it is no expense to me.  It's simply a funny story, and why wouldn't I share a funny story with my people?

And it is good for others, who are intimidated by me (my brain says: impossibly so!) to realize that not only am I far from perfect, I fuck up just like they do. Sometimes more so. We're all human, we all do stupid shit, and it's not because we suck. It's because that's life, and laughing at your mistakes, then letting go & moving on, is always going to be better than berating yourself for them.

Quote:
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
-W.H. Auden

Tuesday, June 19

545a-2 sl egg bake w/ fresh salsa, 3T coconut butter, c reg, supps
7a-coconut milk latte
830a-2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer
930a-med apple, bag pork jerky, 2c reg
12p-personal training
2p-salad w/ hb egg & balsamic, 2T Sunbutter on 2 sl toast, supps
7p-fried zucchini & eggplant, 3T coconut butter
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Food prep: Finally got some of my weekend food prep done. Stir fry (bok choy, mushrooms, onion, garlic scapes, scallions, & field greens in coconut oil), chicken breakfast sausage, and my attempt at breakfast veggies: 2 kinds of zucchini & eggplant, shredded, fried in coconut oil. A low-carb substitute for hash browns...close enough! I still need to make fresh salads & fish, but tomorrow is a fast day so I have time to finish up.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Cats were super fucking annoying starting at about 430, but I managed to keep dozing in/out for another hour. Still a little tired but a big improvement over yesterday morning. (Note that "super fucking annoying" sometimes just means I'm waking up & flopping back & forth, and they are in my damn way. They would probably also accuse ME of being super fucking ignoring.)

Body: Feels good, other than itchy from my 800,000 mosquito bites. Low back was tight at desk in morning, sat a bit again, about an hour. Fine in afternoon but sat another hour because I was doing some reading. Stood at home making food, two straight hours.

Brain: Decent. Want more sleep. Session helped a LOT but still just didn't want to work this afternoon. Very bleah and easily annoyed by everyone. Left early to get groceries and a jump-start on my chores.

WOD: Live. As in: fuck the past, and live today.  Figure out what you want to do and who you want to be right now, and tomorrow, and go forth and be that person and live that life.

Quote:
What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.
-Thaddeus Golas

Read This: Whole9

http://whole9life.com/2012/06/be-good-to-yourself-inside-and-out/

“Being strong and fit is greater than being skinny and weak!” But consider this: An ideal body image is an ideal body image, and all ideals can be harmful to your psyche.


Why are you still here? Get your ass over there and read some brilliant writing: http://whole9life.com/2012/06/be-good-to-yourself-inside-and-out/

One of the comments sounds very much like me:
I am a Type-A personality who is always seeking perfection and this contributes to why I also battle with these ‘ideal’ body images. One thing that I found really helpful was to tell myself “I love my ass. I love my thighs” every time I looked in a mirror for 1 month. The positive affirmations really helped me re-wire my thinking and allowed me to stop the negative self-talk. I need to start doing this again as the little negative b*tch in my head has come back lately. I am starting today!

This is what I need to do. Positive affirmations sound cheesy as hell, but they do work. They worked for me back when Steve posted his habit challenge. It will work again. Just have to actually do it. Consider today to be day 1!!

Monday, June 18

5a-c reg, supps
6a-c reg w/ stevia
7a-pulls/RDLs/stands
830a-2c reg
930a-2c decaf
10a-c reg
1215p-3.38m run w/ Lisa
330p-afternoon train
7p-salad w balsamic & avocado, 2 sl egg bake w fresh salsa, 3oz almonds, few forkfuls spaghetti sauce, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Fast day. Week 1, Cycle 3. After a week in which I averaged 2450 (gulp) I was happy to fast! Briefest of hunger pangs during pulls and then again at 4pm. Got chilled just before I changed to run. No chance of getting chilly after that!

At home, I was dog fucking tired. Battled the urge to eat...failed...can I claim to be doing the Warrior Diet this week?

Sleep: 7.25 hours in bed. In bed late due to Father's Day adventures, and up early due to class. Felt it. Tired.

Body: Digestive system back on track after the weekend of supplements getting effed up. Need to work on backing those down and having it work properly on its own.

Felt pretty good moving around during class (just did warmup, then walking back & forth [outside]) and then I knocked out every single set of 4 pulls, with no hanging-rest-kip required.  HOLY SHIT did that ever kick ass! Next up: 8 sets of 5.

Had planned to do track class after work, but with all my weekend chores left undone and my ridiculously early bedtime, I talked myself into a noon run instead. At least I got to share it with my running bestie! Got hot and we walked a few minutes of it, but otherwise it was great. Painless!

Some sitting today: 2 hours in meetings, 1 hour at desk.

Dustin: Need to address how to ease into my training for Ragnar, specifically in regards to the super short recovery time. I have some ideas, just in case I forget please remind me.

Brain: Tired to start, not wanting to come teach or work or do any-damn-thing but get my laundry done & food made or just plain go back to bed. But then those 40 pullups made my fucking DAY!

However, it's getting kind of depressing to read Joy's 5/3/1 training log. She's so thoroughly kicking ass and I'm feeling like I'm...not. Like I'm just maintaining, but that's about it. Which may or may not be true, I have no idea, but my running is progressing, my pullups are progressing, my body comp is progressing, and that's where my focus is and should be right now. If I want to do Ragnar, and god damn do I ever, then I have got to prioritize. I cannot Do All The Things!

WOD: Run. This one is self-explanatory, no?

Quote:
Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
-Chinese proverb

Sunday, June 17

730a-Larabar, few SP chips, can Zevia, 2c reg, supps
10a(restaurant)-2 fr eggs, corned beef hash, 4c reg, bottle diet root beer
12p-2 bags jerky, bag pumpkin seeds, Larabar, 2c decaf w 2T MimicCreme
530p(restaurant)-salad w Italian, 8oz sirloin, baked sweet potato, 3c decaf
Throughout day-quart water

Supper was at Texas Roadhouse. I was rather sad to start since they give you a basket of shiny, butter-topped, delicious-smelling rolls, then progressed to anger that all they had was a gluten-free menu (I know that dairy is hidden EVERYWHERE, I want a full allergen menu, people!), then back to sadness when said menu told me I couldn't get their "famous" ribs, and then back to anger when I couldn't even order a side of fucking vegetables because they were already buttered. Oh yeah, and the mushrooms & onions I wanted on my steak? Sorry, sauteed in butter. Mother. Fuckers!

Worst: when the food delivery came, mine was missing and took a full 5 minutes to show up because they had mistakenly buttered my sweet potato. I sat watching both parents eat the ribs that I wanted, and yes, I flipped off my mother when she said they were delicious. My steak turned out to be quite delicious, but I was all set to never, ever, ever return there, though I never said a word (I avoid confrontations like I do butter).

But then the manager came over and said he wanted to give us my meal for free since I'd had to wait. So, the end result I have is this: don't go there if you have food allergies. But otherwise, DEFINITELY go! Apparently, the ribs are fabulous. (But fuck you for being able to eat them!)

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Decent, but starting to feel the low-quality sleep.

Body: Good! Upper back a little tight from paddling, no other issues.

Brain: Started good, got to be a long day*, no weekend chores done, finised the day feeling very UGH.

*Drove home from Brainerd, was at home for an hour only, then off to parents' to catch a ride to Sauk Rapids for a visit with Dad's aunt Sister Peter, out to supper with Brian & Jen, then to Luxemburg to see their ginormous (impressive) landscaping job. But all of that meant I didn't even get home until 9pm. Not a good way for me to start the week.

Quote:

When we are capable of stopping, we begin to see.
-Thich Nhat Nanh

Saturday, June 16

8a-Larabar, few nuts, 2c reg, supps
1030a-2 fr eggs, 2 sl ham, hash browns, 2c reg
11a-3.5 hours canoeing
4p-3.25oz pork jerky, bunch sweet potato chips & mixed nuts, can Zevia
830p-10 chicken wings, salad w raspberry vinaigrette, 4c decaf
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed. Decent, for vacation.

Body: Feels great! Canoeing felt good, nearly effortless. Occasionally, just sitting, randomly, felt pulse pounding in right shin. Gulp.

Brain: Very good. Canoe trip was fun and then a bit of an adventure as we began to wonder if we would ever find the park, and then a generous round of mosquito bites on my BARE ASS when we landed and I pit-stopped in the woods. Awesome. Makes for a funny story, I guess? We had to let Timmy leave early, sadly, and then we lazed in the hot tub for a while, then supper.

Quote:

If there's one thing I still need to learn and perfect, it's patience. I can't always have the answers to problems right away. Waiting is a part of life. In the mean time, if there's nothing I can do about it there is no sense in complaining too much. Sometimes it just is what it is.
-Christine Beauchamp

Friday , June 15

530p-3 egg bakes, Larabar, 2c reg w 2T coconut cream, supps
930a-pulls/swings/stands
11a-3.25 oz jerky, 20oz diet Pepsi
12p-20oz diet cherry Pepsi
130p (restaurant)-12 honey bbq wings, 2c celery, diet pepsi
330p-1.5m (?) walk/run in mosquito-infested park
430p-way too many mixed nuts
9p (restaurant)-pork carnitas and "salad" w pico & guac*, diet Pepsi

*What to eat in a Mexican restaurant: pork fajita, minus the tortilla, sour cream, & cheese, and add some guacamole. Perfection!!!

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Felt great!

Body: Felt great! AM workout went really well, perhaps due to my bestie being there. Ran maybe 5 in the park to get away from Mosquito Central (pretty sure the entire state's mosquito population comes from here) in Vibrams and it felt SO GOOD. Upper back a bit tight at supper time.

Brain: Awesome. Girls' weekend, do I need to say more?

Quote:

All that glitters is not gold.
-Who the hell knows?

Thursday, June 14

545a-2 sl egg bake w/ fresh salsa, t coconut butter, c reg w/ MimicCreme, supps - meal 1
7a-c reg w/ 2T coconut cream - habit/craving
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup - habit/craving
1030a-stir fry, Larabar, 2c decaf w 2T coconut creamer - meal 2/pWO
12p-personal training
115p-oz banana chips, 3.25oz perk jerky - PWO
7p (restaurant)-2c raw veg, 2c roasted veg, 5oz roasted pork, Larabar - meal 3
830p-couple spoonfuls coconut butter, NuGo Free bar, oz almonds, 4oz banana chips - snack
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Super snacky in the eve. Ugh.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Super solid, woke naturally, felt great!

Body: Excellent!

Brain: Excellent! Except for the cysts currently developing that appear to be related to Sunday at the Fire Station. God damn, that's not fair.

At the TS birthday bash, the Finance Team WON the Day Maker Team award. FUCK YES!!

WOD: Breathe. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Quote:
Learn how to exhale, the inhale will take care of itself.
-Carla Melucci Ardito


Read This: Metabolic Effect

This post describes the process of a metabolic breakdown in very understandable terms.

http://blog.metaboliceffect.com/2012/06/06/metabolic-rehab-is-your-metabolism-broken/

Pretty interesting. I feel like it perfectly describes what happens to me while training for a marathon during tax season...which I am planning to do again next year. But chronic stress + chronic cardio = CRASH.

How do I keep myself from falling apart again?

Can I?

Wednesday, June 13

5a-Larabar, c reg - half meal 1
6a-2 sl egg bake, Uberbar, coconut milk latte, supps - half meal 1
7a-pulls/RDLs/jumps/stands
8a-3.25oz pork jerky*, sm banana, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer - PWO snack
9a-2c reg - habit
1030a-2c reg - craving/energy boost
12p-stir fry, peach, oz almonds - meal 2
2p-2c decaf - chilled
345p-.5oz almonds, tiny plum - pWO
445p-3.35m run w/ Sarah (bit of a side ache 20 minutes in)
530p-yoga class
645p-salad w/ balsamic, scallops (w/ bacon), tortilla dipped in salsa, few spoonfuls straight coconut butter**, supps - meal 3 + PWO
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

*Oh Boy! Oberto BBQ Pork Jerky...it's god damned delicious. And one of the few jerkys (jerkies?) that does not contain wheat and soy. (It contains pork, brown sugar, water, salt, tomato paste, spices and natural flavorings, pineapple juice concentrate, vinegar, natural smoke flavor. That's it!!) Find it in every checkout lane at Elden's. Thanks be to my beloved Joy for that insider tip!

**Oops. It's more satisfying than almond/sun/whatever butter, though. Able to stop.

Sleep:  Ugh. 7.25 hours in bed. Woke to a screaming alarm from a pretty deep sleep. Once I got up I felt all right, but it was definitely not enough. Forgot several things at home, very spacey.

Body: Felt fine initially, but the pulls immediately felt way too hard so I backed off. Gold star? Reasoning: performance this morning is not as important as performance tomorrow. Or even performance tonight. Save it for when it matters. And the run & yoga were fan-fuckin-tastic, hells yeah!

Sat for 2.5 hours today, webinar & all-team meeting.

Brain: Bit blah PWO, but I talked myself up out of it and resisted the urge to cut calories following it. Obviously part of my problem is low sleep (which = poor recovery) so a decent dose of AM calories will help boost me through the rest of the day and contribute to a good run (which I moved to happening before yoga, since my priority is a solid performance in the run, not so much in yoga class). And I asked myself, what can I do NOW to improve my day? That answer definitely isn't: stay upset about one slightly lame workout,  now, is it? Get on the right track.

Plus I got some massive perspective from a pregnant coworker who has been told her baby is not going to survive, and future babies are likely to have the same problem. I can't even...I have no words for how sad and awful and unfuckingfair that is. I want to punch fate in the god damn fucking teeth for her. Fucking fuck.

WOD: Fitness.

Think financial fitness. Got a nice chunk of savings laid aside for house emergencies and one for your next major purchase? How far ahead are you on your loan payments? Are you paying off your credit cards in full each month? Do you know your own net worth? You should probably be saving 15% of your pre-tax income for retirement, automatically, from each check. Got kids? Better save even more.

Think mental fitness. Read any books lately? Dig my reading list over there --> and you'll see that I have 5 books in progress, 8 waiting in the wings, and 22 completed so far this year. Can you beat that? I hope you can! The trick may be: turn off your television. And your computer. You might have a family demanding your time, but what about Jan 1-Apr 15 when I had no life whatsoever and still read a ton? Prioritize. Your brain needs to last a loooong time, don't let it turn to mush.

Think emotional fitness. When's the last time you hung out with your significant other, just the two of you? Played with your kids and/or pets? Visited your parents for no reason other than to chat? Your best friend? Your oldest friend? Talk to your sibling(s) lately? When is the last time you received a nice long hug, or even a high five?

Think physical fitness - outside the gym. Can you carry your groceries easily? Easily toss the softener salt into your cart? Shove your couch over to clean under it without effort (ha ha, yeah right, like I would ever do this)? Flip your mattress without breaking a sweat? Race up stairs two at a time just because you can? Does a one-hour hike through the woods sound like exercise  or pure "hot shit, let's go right now" fun?

Fitness: it's not just about pullups and deadlifts, folks. The gym reps matter, yes, but they are only one piece of the puzzle.

Quote:
To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.
-Chinese Proverb

Tuesday, June 12

6a-2 sl egg bake w/ roma tomato, 2T fresh salsa, c reg, supps - meal 1
7a-c reg w 2T MimicCreme, Larabar - habit/craving/needed fat, snack 1
8a-2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer - habit
10a-stir fry w balsamic, peach, oz almonds, 2c reg - meal 2
12p-personal training
130p-5oz tuna w 2T mustard, s sesame crackers, tiny plum, supps - PWO snack
6p-salad w/ hb egg & balsamic, scallops (w bacon & coconut flakes), Uberbar - meal 3
9p-.5oz sliced almonds - snacky
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Was going to eat .5oz almonds for my pWO snack at 11, but I was so. damn. full. that I had no desire to eat. DUDE. Part of this is meal timing, since I had just eaten, but still. I'm never  not interested in eating! That was pretty damned cool.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Solid, no alarm. Very well rested.

Body: Excellent! Abs are a bit sore. Training felt wondertastic.

Brain: Feeling great; very "Bring it the fuck on, world!" Too-small jeans are fitting much better today. Second wearing makes a difference, but I feel like it's a wee bit more dramatic than that alone. (That means a smaller belly. Eeep!)

Added to the Vision File list of accomplishments today, at Dustin's suggestion:
-6/12/12 Jump rope: 100 skips like a normal person.
Aw yeah, that's right, I can now do single-unders, instead of my weird half-unders. I'm normal! I can skip rope like a normal person!

Also? I got permission to attend track class next Monday night. FUCK YEAH BITCHEZ!!

After supper, the hubster and I took a cruise on the motorcycle. It was lovely, despite a stop at DQ so he could eat a Peanut Buster parfait, the lucky punk. Probably the last bit of time we'll be able to hang out this week so it was nice to make that time.

WOD: Healthy. How appropriate on a Whole30-ish week! Give the body a break from deficits and energy deprivation. Give the brain a new challenge: how should I be eating for the rest of my life after I am done with fat loss?

Easy answer: high quality food and enough calories to fuel both performance and recovery. Oh, and plenty of sleep, always sleep!

Easy answer, slightly tougher execution. But I am up for the challenge. Are you?

Quote:
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
-Ayn Rand

Read This: Molly Galbraith

We all know I have trouble restraining myself. I want to be the fastest and strongest and hottest and smartest chica in town, and for unexplainable reasons, I believe that's possible. I mean, my pic over there is fucking Wonder Woman, for fuck's sake. I want to Do All The Things!

If you also have that problem, read this post for a pleasant, concise reminder not to be such a massive idiot:

http://mollygalbraith.com/blog/there-are-times-to-push-it-and-times-to-not/

I like that she compares your body to a bank account...that I can comprehend!

Read This: Brian St Pierre

Good advice for healthy eating: put together some standard meals and rotate among them. Take away the stress of too much variety & the requsite decision making, those meals evolve into routines that become habits, and BOOM, it becomes your new normal.

Read it, yo: http://brianstpierretraining.com/index.php/make-a-healthy-eating-routine/

Monday, June 11

6a-2 sl egg bake w/ hot sauce, sm peach, c reg w 2T coconut milk, supps - meal
7a-c reg w 2T MimicCreme
10a-stir fry w balsamic, med apple w/ 2T Sunbutter, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer - meal + pWO
11a-pulls, RDLs, stands3.43m run
1p-5oz tuna, s sesame crackers, sm peach, supps - PWO
3p-Kind+ bar - snacky/cravings
6p-salad w/ 2 hb eggs & balsamic, scallops, NuGO Free* bar, 2c decaf w 2T MimicCreme, supps - meal + hunger
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Eating according to Whole9 macro/portion prescriptions. See updated Diet Summary post for deets.

*Meh. Dark chocolate crunch bar, no dairy, soy, gluten, etc, but also pretty low on flavor. Not worth it when you can eat a Larabar instead.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, up once for b/r, woke w/o alarm. No class this morning, got to sleep in! Felt rested.

Body: No aches or pains, but a bit lethargic in morning. Workout(s) = fabulosity = energizing.

Brain: Great. Busy 4-day workweek after a relaxing weekend, 3-day girls' weekend coming up, life is good! The run with Lisa was exactly what I've been needing. No quiet time for my brain to say stupid shit to me. HAPPY.

Small victory - saw a coworker today and noticed how skinny she's gotten, specifically her tiny legs. My first thought? "She has no leg muscle! She looks freaking weak."  - Holy crap is that light years away from where my brain would've once gone!

WOD: Impact. Your thoughts have impact. Your actions have impact. Your goals have impact. They impact you now. They impact your future. They impact others. How will you impact the world? Will it be positive? Negative? Neutral? Choose wisely.

Today I used the WOD to throw away a cupcake. I wasn't going to eat it, full of grains, but I was going to bring it home to Hop, which I always do with the 60 bajillion treats per week I get at work. But then I thought about the WOD a bit. I often tell Hop he needs to eat healthier, that I don't want to have to hunt for a new husband at 60 years old because his liver gave out, that kind of "I'm joking but I'm also half-serious" comment. So why do I bring him all these treats? Sure, he loves them; who wouldn't? But are they good for him? Doesn't bringing him junk food go directly against what I tell him? I can stop bringing him this crap and have an impact  on his health. If he wants junk food, he can buy it, I won't stop him. But I don't need to bring any home to him. Practice what I preach, and allathat.

Quote:
Do you feel threatened when a friend or coworker succeeds? Remember this: there's enough success for everyone. Recite it over and over to yourself the next time you get hit with yet another whiney "Why not me?" moment.
-Stephen Covey

Sunday, June 10

830a-2 fried eggs, breakfast sausage (gr beef, gr venison, spices), 2 sl toast, 2c reg, supps
10a-food sampling, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk
11a-basement lifting
330p-1 trip up & down Inspiration Peak
530p (restaurant)-3 pig wings, half rack ribs, broasted chicken breast & wing, 2 diet pepsis
630p-Arctic Zero bar, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut milk
Throughout day-2 quarts water

I made a ton of food this weekend:
-6 salads (celery, carrots, cauliflower, cabbage, field greens) & hb eggs to be topped with avocadoes
-egg bake (egg whites, breakfast sausage, green & red peppers, onion, mushrooms)
-stir fry (breakfast sausage, tons o' greens, radishes, red cabbage, bok choy) (this is what I was sampling at 10a)
-bay scallops w/ bacon & coconut flakes (and I "sampled" coconut flakes...quality control?)

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Solid, woke naturally feeling great.

Body: Shins feel better than they have been. Interesting! My next request for permission from Dustin: track workouts on Monday nights. REALLY want to do these again!

Lifting felt excellent, no issues besides a big of rug burn from the TGUs. Hott!

Brain: Snacky while making food...many mouthfuls of coconut flakes. Addictive deliciousness. Otherwise, good. No PWO meal, felt fine going all the way until supper before eating; and supper was at the Fire Station and fan-freaking-tastic! Especially using a discounted gift certificate.

Quote:
Workouts are like brushing my teeth; I don't think about them, I just do them. The decision has already been made.
-Patti Sue Plumer, U.S. Olympian

Saturday, June 9

830a-2c reg w 2T coconut milk
9a-3.25m run & 2m walk
1030a-2 fr eggs, 3 sl bacon, 2 sl toast, micro cake (banana coconut topped with mint chocolate sauce, holy CRAP), 2c reg w/ 2T MimicCreme*, supps - hunger
430p-carrot cake pancakes** topped w/ coconut butter & honey, supps - hunger
7p-c cooked cabbage w/ balsamic, 3.25oz pork jerky - craving
Throughout day-2 quarts water

*MimicCreme = almond + cashew milk. DELISH.
 **VERY good! Although cooking with coconut oil on high heat is a bit of a smoky disaster.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. To bed late, all Dustin's fault: I was reading The Hunger Games and couldn't put it down. So naturally I read the whole thing in one sitting. I don't do moderation, remember? Anyway, a meowing Oscar at 6am drove me nuts, up for b/r, put earplugs in, and got in another couple hours of dozing.

Napped 2-4. Not deep sleep, cats were not in nap mode until 3, apparently, but I got up feeling refreshed.

Body: Decent. Run plan was overly ambitious, actual run itself was not too fun due to the heat, but there was no pain issues. Shins/fronts of ankles still sore but didn't notice anything while running.

Brain: Pre-run anxiety was still there. Actually glad to try it without breakfast since it meant I couldn't over-eat before going out. Talked to myself like a friend would. Asked myself Dustin-style questions. Then just went out and did it. On the walk back, internal Sabrina was really being a bitch, very mean to herself about failing, stopping early, maybe my punishment should be to not eat until after noon, etc. I also found myself going back to 2011's pitiful showing. So I really let myself go back to the deep valleys: the foot pain, the DNF at Fargo, the DNS for Eisenbahn, the weight gain, the payroll stress, all of it. And then I reminded myself about the peaks: I won a 10k, did 10 straight pullups on my first pullup anniversary, had a fucking fantastic time in a 50k (I don't even mean the 7:05 finish, I mean how much god damned FUN it was), won a 5k on my birthday...told myself that's how an athlete's life goes. There are highs and there are lows. At this point I'm climbing my way up out of a low, of course it's arduous and challenging. I compared it to climbing Spirit Mountain, when Dustin & I just bitched steadily about that fucking hill, but at the top, holy shit, what a feeling of accomplishment!

I then went through each of my key fitness people (Dustin, Joy, Heather, Timmy) and told myself what THEY would say about my run. And they were all very nice things. Because my people are kind and helpful and encouraging and positive, not like that cunt Internal Sabrina who needs to go jump off a cliff. I love my people. I am so god damned lucky to have them. I know I would have given up on running (maybe even fitness altogether) long ago without them at my side.

So: thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my devoted grateful heart.

And now I'm tearing up. Topic change!

Hop ditched me again today for his buddies, but this time it was for his old crowd of very good friends, heading out on their motorcycles, including a visit to Jack's grave to lay down a little rubber in his honor. I couldn't NOT support that; I knew how good it will be for all of them. Still, I felt lonely and lost. Tired & unmotivated. But I made today my chore day, kept busy, took a nap, started a new audiobook to keep the mind busy, too.

Quote:
It pays to be skinny!
-clerk at Lillian's as she rang up my clearanced size Small tops

Friday, June 8

530a-c reg
630a-c reg w/ stevia
7a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-2c decaf
1p-pulls/RDLs/stands
during/after workout-2s Ultima, 1s BCAAs
645p-2 fr eggs, 3 sl bacon, 2 sl toast, slab o' ham, 2c cantaloupe, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

Fast day planned. First hunger pangs at 11am, but I think I can blame that on emailing with Joy about delicious foods like meatza and micro cakes and Larabars and Uberbars and Kind+ bars...yep, brought it on myself! The beauty of fasting, for me, is that it doesn't matter what I'm craving: I'm not eating, end of story.

Unless, as you've seen, I feel depletion in addition to cravings. Then I'll feed my body. Like when I got home at supper time. I was feeling tired and anxious. Long-run anxious. this is hilarious, because tomorrow's run (solo, Warrior Training class canceled) is planned for a whole 40 minutes. What the fuck is there to be anxious about over a 40-minute run? Oh, that it will hurt, that it will be hard, that I won't feel like a rockstar, etc. That's all. Shoot me. Anyway, so I ate. Whatever. I ate real food, resisted the dozen "candy" bars (Larabars, etc) in my cupboard, and I did not make a micro cake. That's success.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Turned in at 9, took a bit to fall asleep, but it was solid. Awake at 430, dozed in/out for a half hour, trying to fall back asleep. Felt rested but there was no reason I couldn't sleep in, so I tried. No dice.

Body: I feel pretty excellent, as I should, coming off a rather high surplus yesterday...oops. Shins/ankle fronts still sore. Still concerning.

Workout was fucking EASY. Barely broke a sweat. Is this what it's like to come into Friday fully fueled? Interesting!!

Brain: Doing good, considering. I'm in my too-small jeans again today (weekly picture time, ugh) and this week I didn't put them in the dryer...nice try, but still too damn tight! I actually laughed pulling them onto my legs because I seriously thought it just wasn't going to happen. But I got 'em on, and hate wearing 'em. Why am I doing this to myself? I'm now comparing this to weighing in on the scale...is it helping me reach my goal? And if not, why the fuck am I doing it? This weekly torture may have come to an end with that realization.

On the other hand, I keep feeling the solid muscle up higher, at my natural waist, and that overrides the belly fat angst. SOLID. Which is my Word of the Day, thus completely appropriate!

Yeah, I have a WOD. But my W is not a workout - it's one single word or phrase that I want to focus on. Something to solidify my wandering motivation, or eliminate my angst, or whatever. My Wellness Tracking file is pre-programmed to pop up a new word daily, because I'm a fucking rockstar Excel nerd like that. Maybe I should share it daily with y'all? Maybe I will. Today it's SOLID. Like muscles. Like focus. Like drive. Like effort. Like iron. Like results.

If you haven't gone over to read any PaleoPepper stuff yet, I suggest that you start with this one. It talks about feeling deprived, being overwhelmed with choices, and a culture that makes you feel like shit so it can sell you self-help. This post spoke to my very soul.


Quote:

Read This: Paleo Pepper

I found an amazing blog.

Ladies, please get clicking on these posts if you have ever had issues with food or weight or body image (if you do not count yourself in this group, you probably aren't reading my shit either, so this should mean YOU):

http://paleopepper.com/disordered-eating/

http://paleopepper.com/sexy-bodies/

Her posts are all about learning to live within a healthy body that you love. Acceptance. Happiness. Satisfaction. Pride. Isn't that what we're all after? Plus, she drops f-bombs left and fucking right. Always a plus in my book!


She has another blog as well, a little more science-y:

http://www.paleoforwomen.com/site-map/

Thursday, June 7

545a-2 fr eggs, 4 sl bacon, 2 sl toast, sm peach, c reg, supps - normal breakfast
7a-Almond Dream bar, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk - cravings/habit
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
945a-5oz tuna, 2T mustard, s sesame crackers, med apple, 2c decaf, supps - pWO fuel
11a-Larabar, oz almonds - pure craving
12p-personal training
4p-two bacon-wrapped smokies, 2c cantaloupe, .5c celery, .5c peas, few baby carrots, Larabar, supps - sampling potluck leftovers
630p-fr egg, 2.5 sl bacon, sl toast, 4 carrots w Todd County guacamole*, 2c decaf w T coconut milk, Uberbar**, supps - last meal til Saturday
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

*avocado + salsa
**Bananas Foster Uberbar: oh, yes, as delicious as you would expect, if not more.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Last night I tried to stay up chatting with Hop for a bit (hadn't seen him in two days) but I ended up heading straight to bed as soon as the clock hit 9p. He was talking about the golf pass book's deals and wasn't sure whether it would pay off unless he golfed a lot (that's kind of the point, yo) but anyway, he was rattling off numbers and I couldn't even pretend to follow them. Or care. I rudely cut him off and said, "Look, I'm tired, and I don't care either way. If you want it, keep it. If not, whatever. I have to go to bed. I'm sorry." And turned around and pretty much dropped into bed like a rock. SO. TIRED.

Anyway, ramble ramble, I woke once for b/r but otherwise was pretty solid. I dozed in/out for the last half hour or so (guessing, never looked at clock once) dreaming about deadlifts. Ha!

Body: Shins/front of ankles are sore, not a normal ache for me; I don't like that at all. Still tired. Got a boost at work (how's that? my job & people rock, duh.) and found some energy. And session felt pretty solid, the Prowler didn't break my spirit!

Considering that it may be time to drop the RDL fun, as my running is reaching back up to a half hour on the very same day. Next week is maintenance eating, so I'll wait and see how I feel on higher calories. I plan to eat Whole30-style, following the portion/serving sizes, really work on satiating, healthy meals that fully fuel me for the day and my workouts.

Brain: Indulged in an "ice cream" treat at breakfast to get some extra calories in a comfort-food kind of way. I don't like that I did it. I don't like that food can change my mood. It makes me feel weak. The Larabar at 11am was also pure craving. Post-session, though, I was not at all hungry. That was interesting.

Quote:
It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run. The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination. We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else.
-John Bingham, No Need for Speed: A Beginner's Guide to the Joy of Running

Read This: Rog Law

Rog Law is a fuckin' genius.

He hits the nail on the head with this post, talking about what damn near everyone is missing in their quest for fitness:

http://www.roglawfitness.com/the-missing-ingredient/

Wednesday, June 6

515a-protein shake pudding (sc choco protein, 1/3c canned coconut milk), c reg, supps - experiment
6a-c reg w/ stevia
630a-taught class & only demo'd new moves
during class & w/o-2s Ultima - experiment
7a-pulls/RDLs/stands
830a-2c reg - habit
945a-protein pudding, 2c decaf, supps - experiment
145p-protein pudding, 2c decaf, supps - experiment/chilly
4p-Larabar, oz almonds - low energy
530p-yoga
630p-2.3m road run
730p-c strawberries, 2 pork carnitas, 2 sl bread, Almond Dream bar, supps - depleted
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Plan: Usually Wednesday is a half-fast day. This week I tried something new: an all-shake day. Hopefully this will keep me from feeling as beat down by Thursday/Friday; it still gives me enough calories for energy (1000 for the day), which I could do via food instead, but this way I can't go into eateateat mode since I'm not eating "real food." On Friday I will do a full fast day if I'm up for it, otherwise I can go half-fast and still land low on calories for the week.

Reality: At 4pm, I felt awful. Tired as shit, in a "I've been staring at these numbers for 10 minutes and they still don't make any sense" way - not good during a busy close day! So with both yoga & a run planned within a couple hours, I ate. When I got home post-run, I again felt pretty depleted. I do not want to walk into NSS depleted tomorrow. So I ate, and was shocked not to feel the eateateat urge. Cool!
 
Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Woke once at 2am or so, fell back. Dozed in out a lot after that, and alarm woke me at 5. Stupid alarm! I felt good & rested though.

Body: Felt great in AM workout. Lower back muscles got a bit cranky mid-morning, but not disc-y, thought it lasted all day. Felt great to stretch it so thoroughly in yoga.

Brain: I am still doing very well. Today during RDLs I admired the hell out of my arms, forearms all the way up to shoulders. Also, perhaps my collar bones are popping out a little, over by my shoulders? Looked new to me, at least. And finally, my belt seemed a little looser than it used to be. All very nice motivation!

Successfully logged 20 road minutes. They didn't feel awesome, but it made me happy.

Quote:
Be significant.
-Stephen Covey

Tuesday, June 5

545a-2 fr eggs, 4 pork carnitas chunks, 2 sl toast, sm peach, .5c bone broth, c reg, supps - hunger
7a-c reg w stevia & c coconut milk (from a carton, not the good stuff!) - habit/craving
8a-2c reg - habit
930a-3 pork carnitas chunks, stir fry, Larabar, 2c decaf, supps - pWO fuel
12p-personal training
4p-5oz tuna w 2T mustard, s sesame crackers, sm peach, oz almonds, .5oz brain food, supps - PWO restock
630p-5.36m bike ride
7p-shake (greens & reds) - an experiment
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water

9am - felt very gross. Pukey, almost. Went away quickly...a result of the first meal after a 36-hour fast? Not sure. After training, waited to eat until truly hungry. Unlike last Tuesday, when I felt totally depleted & could've eaten my own fists off, I felt fine today. I still wasn't even hungry when I ate at 4, but I didn't want to be eating right before the bike ride...and then I was all eateateateat. Annoying! Fine after that.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, turned in a bit late thanks to RFL captain's meeting last night; up once in wee hours for b/r but fell back quickly, and woke naturally feeling decent. Could have used a little more.

Body: Excellent! Right calf still a bit tight, but I'm not limping anymore, at least! Session felt fabulous.

Realized it's been many days since my lower back hurt when flipping over in bed. Will have to pay closer attention to that. I wonder if it starts getting angry as the week goes on and intensity increases, or if it's intensity + low calories, or what. I should be able to figure that out next week when I eat at maintenance.

Brain: Woke up thinking about what day it was, remembered it was a Dustin day, which I then thought meant Thursday. It was such a slap in the face to realize it's only freaking Tuesday!

A nice moment today: caught sight of my calf as I pivoted and was very impressed. I then found the mirror to more fully admire them. I don't like my belly yet, but I sure do love my baby cows!

Quote:
Success is not permanent & failure is not fatal.
-Mike Ditka

Recipe: Carnitas

Stovetop Pork Carnitas, from The Clothes Make the Girl




If the picture alone isn't enough to induce you to make it, (a) you're a fool, but also (b) read this, remembering that I am a self-crowned Pork-Loving Queen:

I made it on Sunday night, and I sampled and sampled and sampled as it cooked nearer and nearer to finished. Even though it was 8pm and I had already overeaten for the day. It was irre-fuckin-sistible.

When it was ready, I removed the pork from the pan, scraped out all the drippings with a fork and ate them straight out.

As I sampled the bits and ate pure pan drippings, I kept thinking, "I should share this with Joy or Heather or Dustin" because it was that god damned good and yet...I'm sorry, my dears, but I simply could not bring myself to share because it was that god damned good.

It's actually pretty easy to make, and it even works out when your package labeled "pork roast" turns out to be ribs instead, the closest thing you have to cayenne pepper is Tastefully Simple's Sweet Bell Pepper Dip Mix, and your lemon and lime juice bottles have embarassing "use by" dates.

Go make it yourself.

PRONTO.

Then bring over a sample, if you're not a selfish little bitch like me.

Stovetop Pork Carnitas, from The Clothes Make the Girl

UPDATING to add that I made it a second time, but knowing it would be awesome and I still wouldn't want to share, I did a double batch! This time I again had a pack of ribs (lesson: keep an eye on the kids working in the butcher shop!), but also an actual roast. I managed to buy cayenne pepper, but still had the old juices (hey, they worked last time). And finally, I had no garlic powder but I subbed in Tastefully Simple's Garlic Pepper Seasoning for that & the pepper. Once again, it turned out freaking delicious: I couldn't stop sampling as it cooked down, and I've eaten it many times, and I'm not-so-secretly hoping my husband doesn't find the last portion in the fridge today!

UPDATING again: you can be lazy and make this in a slow cooker. You can even skip the browning pre-work. Just throw everything in the pot, turn it to low, and walk away for a good 24 hours. (My deal is usually to make it after supper one night, and it's ready the next night.) You'll get more of the crusty carmelized deliciousness the longer it cooks. You can cook down the juices at the end if you like, just crack the cover open and turn to high (though stay close) - or save the juice as a base for your next pork adventure.

Monday, June 4

5a-c reg, supps - habit
6a-c reg w/ stevia - habit
630a-taught class (did warm-up only)
7a-pulls/RDLs/stands
during class & workout-2s Ultima - fasting experiment
8a-2c reg - habit
9a-2c decaf - habit
12p-2c decaf - chilly
3p-2c decaf tea - chilly
530p-15-minute road run 
6p-2s Ultima - due to crampy calf
Throughout day-1.5 quarts water

Another 36-hour fast. Piece of cake pie nothing! No issues doing so. Cold at 1130a like normal, and first hunger pangs were at 1145a. NOTHING in morning!

Sleep: In bed 8 hours. Sleep was holy-shit-hot-damn solid, no waking up in the middle! Woke and thought I had probably another hour, just ready to flip over and burrow down into my pillow, but checked the clock first: 4:51. Shit. Took a couple minutes to reconcile myself to getting up. Felt pretty well-rested physically once I got a couple of hours into the day.

Body: Solid. Felt tight as I did warm-up with class, but a half hour of strolling around was apparently enough to wake me up and get the blood moving, as I felt great during the workout.

Brain: Doing very well! A beautiful morning on which I got to stand in the sun for a half hour making other people work their asses off, happiness with pull-ups, cute outfit, good hair day, all after a relaxing & rejuvenating weekend...to the busy-ness of close week, I say: bring it on, motherfucker! Hell, I might even post my belly pics soon, that's how good I'm feeling.

Confession: between pulls I did a stretch with my hands up on the bar, dropping the butt back & down, the entire back practically purrs with pleasure...but then I looked in the mirror, and my immediate thought was: YOU ARE A FREAK! My lats looked fucking insanely huge in a very manly way. Not attractive. At all. I actually had the thought: Holy shit. I need to stop this pull-ups obsession. But then I stood normal and decided I am still quite far from freakish manly levels, and the pull-ups addiction can continue as scheduled!

Side tangent for the ladies: want to feel better about your body RIGHT NOW? Google/Images "female bodybuilder" - wow. I mean, WOW. I'd rather look like I do right now, forever, than to look like that. There's the occasional Jamie Eason-style figure athlete in there that looks pretty good, but most of them just look like men. No thanks!

But hey, that's not a trade-off that you or I need to worry about. No one is going to look like that without trying to look like that. Me? I want to look like this:

Solid.
And really, I'm pretty sure I already do look like that, just have to lose the layer of fat covering up my awesomeness!

Quote:
"Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be."
-Marsha Petrie Sue