Thursday, April 26

645a-2 fr eggs, s chicken sausage, 2 sl GF toast, sm apple, c reg, supps
745a-c reg w/ stevia
845a-2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer
10a-3oz pork roast, .5c kraut, c veg broth soup*, 2c reg
12p-personal training
4p-3oz pork roast, .5c kraut, 2 turkey dogs, oz cocoa almonds, can diet cherry coke, supps
Throughout day: 2 cough drops, 2 quarts water.

*Overnight in the slow cooker juices & bones from the pork roast: carrots, eggplant, turnips, peppers.

No supper: modeled at LAPW style show, declined my free meal (whatever it was, I'm sure I couldn't eat it) and just fasted instead.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed. Got to bed just before 10, and slept all the way to 630. Choppy sleep, despite a NyQuil - Oscar was being a whiny stupid head. Quite tired.

Cold: Right ear is half plugged again. So annoying. Still have drainage, coughing when I laugh.

Rehab: Feels okay again. Was thinking last night about my first long runs in ramping up for Boston, how I could hardly stand to lay on my side in bed, my shins hurt so much. What might have changed if I had gone in way back in January? Anything? Nothing? And how the fuck is a person supposed to know what's a big enough deal to go in for, and what's minor and should be waited out? I want a full-time staff of coaches and nutritionists and doctors to manage my life for me. Is that really so much to ask?

Stood for first hour in morning, then sat most of rest of day. Bar stool set-up is awkward so I'm still putting some weight on feet. Thought about dismantling to sit normally, but meh. Too much effort. Was in heels for about an hour at fashion show.

Quads & hams sore from Tuesday training.

Misc: Feeling ugly thanks to vacation-eating cyst that makeup can't fully hide. Not in a good mental place all morning.

Training was good, but then I ended up feeling junky afterward. Both ears felt full, though sinuses felt emptied...combination of cold + prowler? Started coming around a bit later in the afternoon, surprisingly. Waited to eat until I was legitimately hungry, but threw in some caffeine to be sure I'd make it all night.

I just want to feel normal again. Tired of being tired. Don't tell Heather, but I frankly hope the races are canceled this weekend. It sounds too exhausting.


Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house within you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.
-Joseph Murphy

1 comment:

  1. Heather isn't going to the races. Heather is in the same mental place you are. Heather wants to move to Hawaii right now. Wanna come with Heather?