Thursday, March 29

515a-fr egg, 1.5sl bacon, T honey mustard, 2 sl GF toast, grapefruit, med apple, c reg, supps
645a-c reg w/ stevia
730a-1.5c reg
930a-chicken breast, T honey mustard, sm banana, supps
12p-personal training
145p-salad, hb egg, med apple, supps
530p-oz almonds, s coconut flakes, s BnPB, supps

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. Took a little while to fall asleep and was wide awake at about 430a, got up at 5 - but it was very solid sleep. Got up feeling pretty damn good.

Rehab: Did my PT work in the Well, forgot at home - Hop was home and threw off my routine! Knee/shin feels no better than yesterday. Made an appointment to get tested and the earliest I can get is 4/23. GAH.

Stood at tax firm (the place is lousy with worker bees!) and back hurt a wee bit by end of eve. Nothing I'm concerned about, though.

Left hand nonsense: smashed my ring finger between weight & bench on Sunday. Cut away a bit too much o' callus on Tuesday eve, now have nice dried-out skin crack on middle finger. And finally, a paper cut on the pad of my pointer finger. Little finger, looks like you're next, kid. Hope you're feeling tough!

Habit: Struggling a little today.

Acne: It's been super duper awful lately. Hate-my-face awful. I look like I ate a stick of butter on Monday. All I can pinpoint is caffeine/diet pop overload over the weekend, but that's kind of a long delay in reaction, plus it also should've freaked out early last week after supper at Doolittle's where I drank a shit ton of Diet Pepsi. Huh.

Out-of-the-ordinary foods, since Sunday/Monday:
-A can of coconut milk - perhaps too much coconut? Too much guar gum?
-Flax milk, which has a laundry list of chemicals: Filtered Water, Cold Pressed Flax Oil, Tapioca Starch, Tricalcium Phosphate, Canola Lecithin, Natural Flavors, Sea Salt, Guar Gum, Xanthan Gum, Carrageenan, Vitamin A Palmitate, Vitamin D2, Vitamin B12. I love the ingredient "natural flavors." What kind of bullshit can you hide with that label?!
-3 cans of Zevia, which has: Carbonated Water, Erythritol, Caramel Color, REB A (stevia extract), Citric Acid, Natural Flavors, Wintergreen Oil, Anise Oil, Lemon Oil, Orange Oil, Ginger Extract. Again with the "natural flavors" baloney!!

Anyway, my solution is: whole foods only until this all calms back down. Better to skip my GF bread than to hate my face.

Misc: Baby donkeys are freaking adorable. Don't believe me? Click here.

Happiness: Continuing on with the little task I started yesterday.
Cultivate optimism. – Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism.  No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.  She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life.  People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.
In general I'm pretty optimistic. Perhaps a little cynical on certain subjects, but not pessimistic; I'm typically a glass-half-full kind of person. I seek out the best in everyone and foresee positive outcomes easily. Except when it comes to my own failures and setbacks, no matter how temporary. Then I become my own worst enemy, with my mind running full-tilt down dark alleys and seeing only the worst outcomes, monsters around every corner.

If I were counseling anyone else in my situation, I'd be full of compliments and encouragement and sunshiney remarks, doing everything possible to make that other person understand that the current failure is a stepping stone to better things. Take these rocks and build a bridge, yo! But when it's ME that I'm talking to, those rocks become a wall, and I lay down and throw a tantrum for far too long, depending on others to haul me back up to my feet. I shouldn't need to depend so heavily on others, because I shouldn't get that far down & out. Nothing is the end of the world. Everything has a silver lining.

Consider sitting out of Boston: I will feel physically great all week. No holding back on touristy outings because I can't walk more than 3 blocks without whining. That's something, right? Actually, the bigger silver lining is that after last week's tentative diagnosis, I stopped freaking out about how hard the race was going to be, since I was no longer going to be running it. That was a heavy pile of anxiety and stress that I do not miss!

And furthermore, this injury is nothing I can't overcome. The rest will do my body a world of good right now, fixing my gait will be hugely beneficial over my running career, and it's one more reinforcement that yes, I really am an athlete. Even the very best athletes get hurt and have to sit out on big games now & then. The former chubby girl in the corner with a book, who just runs for weight loss? When she gets hurt, she takes up kayaking while she sits out a few weekend runs to heal up. She's not missing the 116th Boston Marathon. And she would never spend time thinking about possibilities for requalifying for the 118th or 119th, would she?

You're not going to make me have a bad day. If there's oxygen on earth and I'm breathing, it's going to be a good day.
-Cotton Fitzsimmons

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