Thursday, March 22

545a-fr egg, 2 sl bacon, 2T guac, 2 sl GF toast, grapefruit, c reg, supps
7a-c reg w/ stevia
730a-1/4c BAD coffee
745a-can diet Coke
1030a-Larabar, oz almonds, orange, 1/2c pineapple, can diet Coke, supps
1130a-personal training
1245p-scoop sloppy joe mix, sl turkey, sl roast beef, few baby carrots, cauliflower floweret, grape tomato
230p-oz almonds, supps
6p-baby carrots, cauliflower floweret, grape tomatoes, supps
8p-2oz almonds, orange

Eating was all kinds of messed up today due to a team potluck and evening KITC event. I couldn't make it to those meals without snacks in between, and I frankly do not like eating that often. I couldn't eat anything but baby carrots at the KITC event anyway, and my fridge stash was only my veg offering from the potluck. Gah.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed. Woke often in early am but got up feeling pretty good, no alarm.

Rehab: Still there; a tiny bit worse than yesterday, though it improved post-training. Sat all morning at tax firm. Right wrist is sore, probably from handstands, not really worried.

PT visit at 115p. Yay: I may have a diagnosis (CECS). Boo: if it's correct, no Boston. Surprisingly I am coping okay. Not "well" - I'm still me of course - but no falling skies, keeping perspective. And this might not even be it. Yet I'm running out of time (no pun intended...not today) to figure out what it is and thus know what I can do on April 16...24 short days away.

Habit: I do not fucking care one whit about my belly today. I care only about my right shin. And that little motherfucker I fucking HATE.

Misc: Ups and downs like this are so exhausting, both physically and mentally. I had a decent, productive morning at the tax firm, but then I almost cried while changing for training. But training was excellent. But then I almost cried while James was talking about CECS meaning no Boston. I did shut myself into a stall to cry after a coworker asked me about running & Boston, directly after seeing James. If not for the event with Emma after work, I'd have just gone home and took a mental health day. But I was able to explain what a CECS diagnosis would mean to Lisa P without much emotion. Maybe I'll be suitable for public appearances after all. (And the KITC event was pretty awesome. Little educational thing about raptors, including 4 of them live in the room, pretty neat stuff for the kids AND adults! I really like hanging out with Emma. I'm playing the role of the cool aunt or something.)

The smartest thing I did was to email a handful of wonderful friends to give them the update and receive a million words of comfort. I love my people. Thanks to them, I kept my brain above water, and even though I opened both the fridge & the cupboard when I got home . . . I ate nothing. I finished this up, then headed to the shower. Biggest goldest fucking star ever.


If you got out of bed and walked today, and you have a job, and a place to come home to where someone cares about you, guess what? The game’s over, and you’ve won.
-Larry Miller

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