8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
10a-s tilapia & onions, c asparagus w/ balsamic, sm apple, can diet cherry Coke, 2T Sunbutter w/ 2T coconut flakes & sprinkle of mulling spice, supps
2p-Larabar, 2T Sunbutter, supps
during run-s SP butter, Larabar, s Ultima
6p-can diet root beer
7p (Heather's)-creamy chicken & tomato soup, SP chips, Paleo brownie, 2oz almonds, med apple, can diet root beer, c decaf tea, supps
-AFB pulls, am: 4x4
Weight: 137.2 lbs, 20.4% fat - down THREE POUNDS from yesterday, up .2 from a week ago.
I can hear you from here, Dustin, and I know, I know, I know. Why did I let myself freak the fuck out over a weight jump that can only be water, knowing it will drop right back down within a few days at most? Answer: really, the scale had nothing to do with it. The shitty state of my sleep-deprived brain had everything to do with it. I was fucking incapable of handling anything yesterday. Next time I get this way, please tell me I just need to go home & take a nap and the sunshine will return. Seriously.
Still, I am debating whether I should continue with daily weigh-ins. For a while I was doing well enough to be able to view it with a curious scientific-ish mind, just observe the fluctuations and try to understand what was impacting daily water swings. But on the days I can't handle it, I clearly can't fucking handle it. I hope I have no more of those days, but let's be realistic here: I do have another month-end close to survive before Boston, though "pretty pretty please" to all the gods that anyone ever thought up: no more deaths.
Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed. I took a NyQuil to be sure I'd fall asleep quickly (since I went to bed 2.5 hours after rising from a nap). I woke at 3 & 4 awake enough to think maybe it was time to get up, but I fell right back each time; woke at 5 and dozed off/on until getting up at 545. Feeling much better than yesterday, though not quite normal; counting on my kick-ass coworkers to lift me up.
Habit: 10am as scheduled.
Acne: It seems that yes, I am reacting to something. Half the red bumps are cysts, the other half are bacon-grease burns. Damn you, bacon grease! Damn you, delicious pork rinds! But in her typical resourceful fashion, my Foodie Buddy Joy provided a homemade pork rind recipe...just gotta round me up some pork skin! Knowing the kind of people I know, this actually shouldn't be that difficult.
Misc: The Hubster left for pumping in North Dakota today & will be back home on Sunday evening. It gives me reasons to stay out of the house: having supper tonight at Heather's w/ Amy & Jeremy; have the all-day retreat tomorrow (perhaps I can squeeze in a basement lifting session before it?); shifted my long run to Sunday, probably followed by the tax firm.
Last night we talked about a friend who's going to NC in April, and I was remembering the utterly incredible beauty of the TN/NC area. I could live there. (Actually, I tried to, but learned that I simply couldn't leave my people, and I came back.) We decided that we need to do a road trip this summer. I want to go run some real hills and climb some fucking mountains.
Successful people know fear - but forge ahead anyway.