Friday, March 30

6a-2 fr eggs, roasted veg, orange, c reg, supps
715a-c reg w/ stevia
10a-s tilapia, salad, oz almonds, 1.5c reg, supps
2p-raw veg (cauliflower, grape tomatoes, baby carrots), oz almonds, s coconut flakes
7p (restaurant)-iceberg w/ French dressing, pork ribs w/ sauce, plain baked potato, half-pot decaf, supps

Sleep: 8 hours in bed. Woke about 230a wide awake, when the hubster got home. Otherwise, sleep was solid, woke w/o alarm. Nice!

Rehab: Small improvement from yesterday but still not great.

Legs, lower back muscles (not disc), upper back/shoulders all a bit sore, but nothing concerning. Feeling yesterday's deadlifts & Prowler love!

Habit: Kept it out of my mind today.

Acne: Still fiercely bad, but nothing new is developing. It's such a frustrating side effect because of the delay time. Several times today I had to stop myself from eating something that might not be cool; given how restricted I am already, it gets kind of ridiculous. Hummus. Zevia. And I probably shouldn't have had the ribs at supper because of the sauce. Ugh.

Misc: New WW shoes on my feet as I type. Happy! Also nice: 8am dentist appt meant I had time to kill at home in the morning. And I saw Hop for like 5 whole entire minutes. Good for the brain.

Happiness: (See here for what this is about.)
Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous.  If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority.  Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes out!  If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made.  What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place.  If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
Oh. My. Gawd. This was written for me exactly. And it's so fucking unhealthy, as anyone else who does this is fully aware. Everyone is on their own path in this world. They may cross, they may run roughly parallel, but your path and my path are not the same.You're not my twin with the same genetics and childhood and background. And even if you were, we STILL wouldn't have the same path, because you're you and I'm me.

I don't even like the last sentence of this, though. I've been comparing myself to my December 2010 self for 16 months now, and that comparison makes me feel like an utter fucking failure. I could compare myself to December 2008 instead, to make me feel better about where I am today, but honestly, is that comparison much better? There's always going to be a crappier version of myself in my past, and always a better version back there somewhere, too, depending on what aspect I'm obsessing about.

So here's the comparison I think we should all be doing: compare yourself today, right now, this instant, to the future you that you want to be. Compare yourself to the person you're hoping to become, the "goal" you, the reason you're working so fucking hard every single day at everything that you do.

And then you've only got to ask yourself one you feel lucky, punk? Oh, wait, oops - sorry, not that one!

The question is: does what you're doing right now lead you down the path to being the person you want to be? Or are you currently forging ahead to a shitty version of future you?

Your answer tells you whether you're doing what you truly should be doing, ought to be doing, want to be doing.

That is the only valid comparison you should make.

Me, I'm on the right path. Financially, nutritionally, physically, spiritually - I may feel like I'm lagging a little sometimes, but in no way am I out in the toolies, meandering down a path I don't want to be on. I'm moving in the right direction, and I know it.

How about you?

Never be intimidated by your challenges. No matter how tough they are, they will bow to your destiny.
-Kamari aka Lyikal

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