11a-fr egg sandwich w/ 1.5 sl bacon & T honey mustard, c reg w/ stevia, Larabar, supps
1230p-14.95m run/walk (knee pain sadness)
during run-2s Ultima, 3s sweet potato butter, Larabar
4p-salad w/ balsamic
5p-2c spaghetti squash w/ meat sauce, sl GF toast
7p-banana & PB2 ice cream, slice John Berardi's egg bake (fail: used egg white protein...threw it away), pork rinds, supps
-Took a day off pull-ups. Not a mental concern, just figured one rest day would be smart.
Weight: 136.4 lbs, 24.3% fat - a return to normalcy.
Sleep: 9.5 hours in bed. Up at 130a for b/r, which is when Hop came to bed. Have been taking 1 NyQuil last few nights, working well, knocks me out pretty solidly. Got up feeling decent.
Cold is still lingering in the sinuses. Not draining, not making my face bones hurt, not fogging up the brain, but it's also not gone yet.
About 9a, I was dog tired and couldn't stop yawning. So I took a nap, just 3 hours after I got up! In bed ~1.5 hours, probably slept for 1, but woke naturally.
Habit: Made a change: fuck water and tea...well, okay, not really. But I have a new daily habit that I need to focus on: mobility work. And perhaps calf raises, as they did tighten up while I ran.
Misc: Weather had me pretty nervous for the long run, but it ended up being pretty incredible after all. I saw a ton of people out walking! Too bad the fucking knee was not fucking cooperating. Up until it hurt, I was feeling pretty good, felt about 75% of the way to that "I can run forever!" feeling. I really wanted to return to my car once it started to hurt, especially since I was maybe a half mile away at that point - but I decided I could use the mental challenge of walking all the way to 15. During the second walking bout, I tried to run a couple more times but it hurt immediately. Other than getting really GD cold, it was fine; and oof, did my face & hands get cold! I thought I was going to bite my tongue off when I finished my Larabar in the car - my mouth just felt plain stupid. At home I took a nice hot shower followed by a cold blast to the lower legs & feet, which felt good, then lazed on the couch with TV & computer all afternoon.
Mentally I am doing surprisingly okay. Not defeated so much as frustrated. Analyzing the fuck out of it. I didn't run for an entire week but the pain came on earlier than last week. What the fuck! So what's the solution, run a whole lot this week and see what happens next Sunday? Stretch my 2 short runs out to medium runs? Try a longer run on Fridays? I don't know.
I did notice this as I ran: my right big toe does not operate the same as my left big toe. My left toe kisses the ground in full, I roll from outer foot through to it very smoothly - but the right foot does not roll through to the toe as completely, like I'm picking my foot up before the pad of the toe ever takes any of my weight. Hard to explain. May have nothing to do with it. May have everything to do with it. Maybe Dustin will have ideas. Maybe I should go to James with it. Maybe I should give up and never run again.
Just kidding. Boston is 49 days away, and god fucking damn it all, somehow I will finish that bitch.
I want to point out, again: mentally I am doing surprisingly well. I did not fall apart, I did not come home and eat a piglet, I didn't even cry! For you non-Dustin readers who may not realize it: this is not normal Sabrina behavior. At all. More like...how do you say...the exact fucking opposite of normal.
Let me highlight:
-I thought about what to eat tonight, what was I craving...and went healthy. The first thing I ate when I got home after a sad long run was a salad. What?
-I had to talk myself into the banana ice cream since I felt like I'd truly "earned" the carb blast. It's not because I was craving it!
-I was noshing on a few pinches of slivered almonds (they were sprinkled on the failed egg bake) kinda mindlessly and I took note, stopped, and sealed up the bag with maybe one handful of slivers left in it. Snacky Sabrina would've just finished the damn bag to get it gone.
-I threw out the crappy egg bake. I have, in the past, thought, "Gross, I should just throw this away" while fully devouring said food.
I blame lots and lots of quality sleep; it truly seems to be doing wonders. I just started reading Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar, and Survival, so perhaps that will shed even more light on the topic. And yes, pun intended.
Think "I am facing this challenge" - not "I have this problem."