Monday, January 23

5a-c reg, supps
530a-c reg
6a-c reg
620a-.5s BCAAs
630a-equipment-free class
8a-2c tea
10a-2c tea
4p-chicken wing & breast, roasted veg, banana, c decaf tea, supps
730p-salad (bell peppers, celery, jicama, cabbage, romaine, grape tomatoes, pepitas, sunflower seeds, balsamic), scallops, banana ice cream w/ vanilla protein & PB2 & slivered almonds, c senna tea, supps

Mostly fasted. Didn't feel like eating after yesterday's binge-fest, either mentally or physically. Interesting note: I was in a bit of "whatever" mode at supper & was thinking bacon & eggs & toast, but the salad (already prepared, which might be the key) looked so damn delicious that I wanted it over anything else. Cool!

Also: I reheated the already-cooked scallops in my bacon-greased cast-iron frying pan...YUMMY.

-WG pulls: 5x3
-Sore upper body by mid-morning, cut back on pulls.

Weight: 139.6 lbs, 20.7% body fat - holy high weight. Serious digestive angst over yesterday's overeating and possibly reacting to buckwheat and/or cashews. Feel hugely fat, visibly bloated & in a dress that felt far too small (boys, this is why girls must always try things on). Even my feet are fat! Lovely.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, up at 1215 for b/r but otherwise nice & solid.

Misc: Feeling rather spark-less. Weekend wasn't refreshing, work week does not excite me, Boston is currently more intimidating than exciting, physically fading, just feeling quite MEH about everything.

Didn't want to run at noon, wanted to just go home and nap. Swung back and forth between two conflicting thoughts:
(1) I should just go get an easy run in, it might feel good and boost me up out of this funk.
(2) This funk is not just mental, I am also tired, digestively fucked up, fasting, and running might make me feel even worse physically, which would for sure make me feel worse mentally.

Decided to indulge the body and hope it would help the brain: left at noon, swung by the Grain Bin for a FiberSmart refill, and went home to nap w/ my kitties, two hours. Felt better when I got up. Logged on and knocked out some work, just plain quit thinking about it - got lost in Excel!

Almost bought Born to Run audiobook last night, still might do so - something inspiring about running could turn the brain around (I have the book, but no time to sit down & read it). Might be good to listen to as I run. Boston is 12 weeks from today and I'm nowhere near where I planned to be at this point. If it wasn't ZOMG! BOSTON!, I would completely forgo the idea of a marathon on April 16. There is a solution, I just have to figure it out.

Long run timing options I'm thinking, in order of best to worst:
-Friday morning...still puts it at the end of 4 straight days of standing, but it's first thing rather than later on, and switch to a later start at TS rather than an early finish isn't a problem
-Sunday morning...better chance for someone to run with but typically a mental beatdown day during tax season, and no backup chance for bad weather
-Sunday afternoon...ditto but less likely for a partner
-Saturday lunch...could be a nice break from the tax firm, but means less income or working later
-Saturday morning group run...would be super nice to have other folks to run with, but the later start at the tax firm means less income or working later, plus I'd have to drive all the way to Alex

Admittedly, keeping hope alive and refusing to be topped does not always lead to victory. However, refusing to be a quick quitter is one of the surest ways to shift the odds of success heavily in your favor.
-Stephen Covey

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