January 1

6a-2 fr eggs, 2 oz pork sausage, sl protein bread, 2c reg, 2 protein pancakes, Met, multi, fish oil, calcium, CLA, ALC, Tyrosine
830a-c reg, c decaf, oz Paleonola
11a-2 fr eggs, corned beef hash, 3c reg
12p-oz Paleonola, 2c decaf w/ SF syrup
4p-3 protein pancakes, T SF syrup, bacon-wrapped tenderloin, 2c tea
6p-2 carrots, 8 ch tomatoes, 4T hummus, Hop’s hotdish, Met, greens, yeast, guar gum, fish oil, calcium, CLA, ALC, Carnosine, NC

Totals: 2242 cal, 117g fat (39 fiber), 131g carbs (39 fiber), 155g protein

Week's averages: 
-1968 cal, 84g fat (25 sat) 38%, 138 carbs (35 fiber) 28%, 144g protein 29%
-Down 8%, 171 cal avg, 1200 total, from last week
-Burned 2944, down 595 from last week

There it is, the last of my tallying, I hope, forever. I love data, I love numbers, I love to be able to analyze, but I've reached a point where the cost outweighs the benefit. I know what to eat and how much. I know when I eat the wrong things or too much. I don't need the numbers to tell me this.

In 2011, my perfectionist tendencies caused me to use this data in black & white terms: if I hit my goal, I succeeded; if I went over, I failed. And if I failed, I beat the ever-loving shit out of myself, mentally. Sometimes this beatdown was motivating and I got right back on the track to success. But more often than not, it caused continual failures until I was able to drag myself back on track, mentally worse for wear.

In 2010, I was able to string together success after success, so tracking calories down to the damn grape worked for me. What changed in 2011? I went from single-minded life focus on wellness in 2010 to 2011's massive amounts of stress, which caused an inability to keep the same level of commitment to nutrition restrictions.

In 2012, I'm still going to face a lot of stress right out of the gate (marathon training during tax season yet again), but there will be less of it (the marathon is Boston [holyshitBoston] & won't have a speed goal, and I've no pending FMLA coverage) and I'm better prepared for it. Part of the preparation is strategy, like reducing my work hours or removing calorie obsessions. But the biggest piece is simply that I decided Boston training is my top priority, not working every hour that I can. Put another way, my life is more important than my job. Both workplaces will actually survive just fine if I'm not giving 110% - imagine that!

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