Friday, January 20

615a-2 fr eggs, 3 chick saus, 2 sl bacon, 2 sl GF toast, c reg, supps
715a-almond milk latte
830a-2c reg
10a-8oz pork tenderloin, c steamed cabbage w/ honey mustard, pinch coconut flakes, can Diet Coke, supps
12p-2T Sunbutter, 2T coconut flakes, oz almonds, dash mulling spice
1230p-8.55m run (attempted 14)
245p-banana, 2T Sunbutter
315p-6oz chicken, 2T bbq sauce, Sunbutter bar, 2T apple butter
630p-salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette, full rack of ribs, roasted veg, sweet potato fries, 3c decaf
745p-protein shake, supps

Run failure made me want to eat eat eat. I nearly went for bread to clean out the jar of apple butter, but managed to remind myself that would only make me feel worse. Took a long hot bath instead. Still sad, tired, frustrated, disappointed, etc, but it got me away from Binge Cliff.

WG DL pulls, am: 5x4

WG DL pulls, pm: 2 - was very sore so I shut down

Weight:  133.8, 20.1% body fat - a 2lb drop from yesterday, and the lowest it's been in 10 days.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, up at 315 for b/r. Fully awake at 5, considered getting up, but managed to fall back & needed alarm at 6, bleah. Feeling pretty good, but I would pay cold hard cash for a straight 8 hours of sleep!

I dug into Metabolic Effect's sleep discussions (actually just posted a FB request to direct me to their videos/blog posts and they did within 45 minutes!) and to combat waking in the middle of the night, a result of dropping blood sugar levels, they recommend a small amount of protein before bed. My green/red shakes are almost entirely carbs. I am going to switch to protein shakes instead, see if that helps. And if not, then switch to no calories after 7pm.

So tonight's shake was vanilla protein & orange Metamucil which tasted like a freaking Dreamsicle; 'twas pure awesomeness. Forgot the thickening guar gum, though - will remedy that tomorrow. Granted, I probably didn't need more protein after the massive pile of ribs at supper (Lori: "You're planning to take half of that home, right?" Sabrina: "Nope.") but since Saturday = fast until supper, it was fine to indulge.

Run: I'm reconsidering the timing of this; Friday afternoon is never going to be ideal. End of week, mentally shot, 5 prior days of solid workouts (this week: poor sleep = poor recovery - which could happen every fucking week)...but I'm not sure how to solve it. Saturday mornings I could join that 6am Alex group run (group motivation!) but log fewer hours at the tax firm (costly trade off). Or I could run on Sunday mornings, which eliminates having a bad-weather backup day; trade-off there would be moving basement barbell action to Friday afternoon, or not at all. Hmm. Perhaps next weekend I'll attempt option 2.

Misc: Have started doing my first set of am pullups before weighing in. This way I don't approach the bar with any pre-conceived notion that higher weight = harder pulls, etc. I just think to myself "I ought to be able to hit 5 today" and I do.

The mental aspect of fitness is so amazing.

I had to remind myself of this as I procrastinated before heading out for my run. I decided the motto of the day was "Set fire to your old self" (from The Flinch), and I decided to ROCK THIS RUN'S FACE OFF. Yeah, obviously that attitude faded out. Fast.

speak quietly to yourself & promise there will be better days. whisper gently to yourself and provide assurance that you really are extending your best effort. console your bruised and tender spirit with reminders of many other successes. offer comfort in practical and tangible ways - as if you were encouraging your dearest friend. recognize that on certain days the greatest grace is that the day is over and you get to close your eyes. tomorrow comes more brightly...
- Mary Anne Radmacher

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