Monday, December 31

545a-fried egg, 2 sl bacon, 4 sl cashew bread, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
630a-taught class (only a bit of warmup, just to move around a bit)
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-2c reg
11a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, Larabar
1p-2c coconut cocoa tea (OMG yum)
2p-can DCC (getting tired)
315p-powerlifting meetup
6p-spaghetti squash w/ turkey pepperoni & tomato paste, banana "ice cream" w/ PB2 & SF syrup, micro cake, 5 shelled nuts, c decaf, decaf almond milk latte w/ SF syrup, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
High-carb day due to the workout/sickness combo, and plans to run tomorrow morning. Serious hunger while lifting.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 845p-445a, 82% quality. Took a bit to fall asleep (serious coughing fit ~30min in, had to get up for water) woke at 3, & was in/out afterward, but it was super duper solid until then. (Thank you, NyQuil!) I got up feeling good, considering.

Body: Cold is much better. Head still feels full, but no drainage or coughing - until 7p or so, when I started coughing again and couldn't stop yawning. Heeded it and went to bed early.

Lifting with Joy was very nice, it was fun to lift heavy and laugh at the boys doing their chest work. And the dudes lifting in jeans YES I AM SERIOUS. Disappointed the deadlifts didn't feel better, and I should be thrilled with the squats, but on those I am focused on the poor depth. However, given that on the drive over to the Y, I was equally willing to lift or nap, I need to be satisfied with the showing.

Stretches x3 (745a, 815p).

Brain: Meh. Bummed at being unable to blast out of 2012 with heavy lifts. Thinking in general about relation to fitness, it was a decent year for lifting (if I remove a few months), but a rather shitty year for running; in relation to the rest of life, 2012 was pretty damned great. Job happiness (including delightful 2nd job), great husband & family & friends (and their health & such), great fantastically awesome new house, etc. So let's maintain and then tack some great fitness accomplishments onto allathat for 2013, m'kay?

Last week's numbers not nearly as bad as I expected: 1771 calories, 101g carbs. Given the goal of 1600 calories & 72g carbs, it's a poor showing, but given Christmas AND a crappy cold, that's pretty good. Still, not much time left to devote to fat loss, hence I need to get back at it with a little ferocity.

Marathon training plan has been devised. Will get approval/feedback from the Chief, but it's so conservative that I think he might tell me it's not enough. I basically designed it as though the runner is super susceptible to injury and overly sensitive to life stress, and all focus must be on preparing for & then recovering from the long run. Because, like it or not: that's the situation.

So I’m planning on running just twice per week, then also deloading every other weekend. With the added mental stress of tax season (though I’m only working Saturday or Sunday, unless toward the end of each month I can nab a couple extra weekdays), and potentially promotion stress (my interview is next Monday), and not being all that excited about winter running, I think that going super conservative like this will be best for both my brain & my body. I even slotted the deload runs on weekends after month-end close, audit, etc, so that I’m not going into any long runs overly-stressed. The only challenge is that the long-run distance is a 3-mile increase each time, rather than 2, but I feel like it’s doable: 9 5 12 5 15 5 18 5 21 5 24 10 5 26.2.

Something that might help motivate would to figure out what I want to do post-Boston. Maybe some trail adventure that would make me look at Boston as a training base. But I'm also ready for some serious lifting goals. Can't I do it all?

Wellness-related awesomeness in 2012:
-1/14/12 - participated in first powerlifting meet w/ 155 back squat, 110 bench press (5# PR), 225 deadlift (20# PR) -6/11/12 - 185 RDL, on 10th set.
-6/12/12 - Jump rope: 100 skips like a normal person.
-7/21/12 - Craved vegetables on vacation. Not junk food!
-7/24/12 - Four-day vacation hiking the "Seven Summits" of the Superior Hiking Trail with ease.
-8/18/12 - Completed Ragnar Relay without injury, and our team placed 6th!!
-10/14/12 - TRAIN and STAY weekend a pain-free success.
-11/23/12 - Pulled a 215 trapbar deadlift, fairly smooth; landed 70 overhead press with a slight stick, on zero practice!
-11/25/12 - Landed 155 squat for the first time since the meet AND in crappy basement setup; landed 110 bench press for the first time since the meet!
-12/1/12 - FIVE consecutive 10-lb weighted pullups! TWICE.
-12/9/12 - 195 barbell deadlift in crappy basement setup.
-12/11/12 - 95x6 front squat on just second session returning to them.
-12/2812 - I hosted a tea swap at my new house. Who does that?!
-12/31/12 - 165 back squat!

Sunday, December 30

530a-2 fried eggs, c kraut, 4 sl bacon, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
9a-micro cake, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk
1p-few slices bread*
430p-salad w/ pepitas & vinegar, chicken leg, few slices cashew bread, can SF lemonade pop, supps
5p-chicken skin & bones (as I shredded the cooked meat**)
8p-c senna tea w/ T coconut oil
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low-carb again, but no calorie restriction due to the cold. Added B12 to daily supps.

*Paleo sourdough bread - It has the texture of moist, dense banana bread, and is deliciously nutty, but not quite what I was hoping for. I'm pretty sure this is because I had no baking soda & substituted baking powder as prescribed by the interwebz (I was warned it would be a shifty result, but I was desperate). Anyway, I will make it again, this time with proper ingredients!

**Pork carnitas recipe with chicken instead. Slow-cook on low ~20 hours, remove bones & skin (eat them, tip for the chef!), turn to high for a few hours, until juices cook down.

Sleep: In bed 7.25 hours, 945p-5a. 69% quality, but it felt worse than that; felt like I woke up a bunch. Tired as hell. Didn't even put in contacts. Napped 130-4p after shopping, got a good solid cycle in, snuggled up with Oscar.

Body: Cold has me feeling worse overall, but I am now coughing, which is [painful] progress, I guess. Digestion shut down...don't think it liked the cashews. Did some new-household shopping with Hop and was easily fatigued, lighting area gave me a headache, etc. Delightful. By which I mean tortuous.

Didn't attempt pull-ups. Stretched in eve only, like a dumbass.

Brain: Bleah. I am very disappointed in my weekend being all screwed up by a stupid little cold, in regards to both productivity and to fat loss. I am also aware that my own prioritization kept me from eating for fat loss. I wanted to feel better pronto so that I can lift with Joy tomorrow, run with NSS on Tuesday, and resume my regularly-scheduled training plan on Wednesday...that meant I needed to eat more. I could have kept calories low to keep fat loss going and instead let the cold impact my next who-knows-how-many workouts, but I chose the quick recovery. I'm glad I did, but I'm mad that I had to.

On the other hand, if a cold is the worst thing I've got going on...and it is...then I'm a very lucky girl.

Saturday, December 29

6a-2 fried eggs, .25c roasted cauliflower, 3oz carnitas, 2 almond milk lattes, supps
8a-c reg
11a-2 fried eggs, slice ham, 4c reg, supps
415p-big ass salad w/ pepitas & vinegar, 2s turkey pepperoni chips w/ guac, can SF lemonade, s kombucha, supps
6p-6oz cashews & pecans
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low-carb, but didn't restrict too much due to sickness, just tried to stay moderate, which worked until I dove into cashews. Yeah, that happened.

Sleep: 6.75 hours in bed, 11p-545a. 79% quality, woke a couple times wide awake, though I didn't need to get up. Woke naturally, but felt tired yet.

Body: Stiff. Tired. Low back bugged late in day. Cold is now a very sore throat with some sinus/head pressure, and feeling slow & stupid. Took another rest day (intended to run, get a solid 45 minutes in before the New Year's Day 11k) in hopes of faster recovery.

Had planned a half-fast day again, but I'm taking the Whole9 advice not to add any extra stress, and just moderating as able. Example: ate breakfast rather than fasting, BUT when I craved a micro cake post-breakfast, I shot it down as a mental want, not a physical need.

Couldn't stop the cashew & pecan inhalation with logic, though. No mas!

Pull-ups died, wow: 3, 3, 3, 3, /3. Stretched once in eve.

Brain: Disappointed at having a cold wreck my plans and upset with myself for over-eating. But had a nice day including brunch with my too-cool 13-year old goddaughter, a visit with the parents, and a husband who spent the day organizing the garage. Used hot tub for the first time: very relaxing!

Friday, December 28

6a-2c reg w/ SF syrup, supps
7a-2c reg w/ SF syrup
12p-2 ribs w/ BBQ sauce, oz carnitas, oz cashews, can DP, decaf almond milk latte w/ SF syrup, supps
130p-decaf almond milk latte w/ SF syrup
4p-c raw veg, oz mixed nuts (while prepping supper)
7p-.25c raw veg w/ guac, 6oz carnitas, c candied squash, .5c roasted cauliflower, half poached pear
9p-2c herbal tea w/ 2t honey, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Partial-fast day, knowing I'd have a big supper. Didn't make huge effort to restrict otherwise, due to oncoming cold.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a. 77% sleep quality - woke a couple times without needing to get up (though I wanted to, to eat the carnitas I was smelling!) and woke naturally about 445a. Tried to fall back, couldn't. Felt fairly well-rested.

Body: First thing I was stiff all over, bottoms of feet really tight when I got up; but both went away as I moved. Left foot felt a bit wonky & stiff into the day. Low back didn't much care for sitting all day.

Have the beginnings of a cold. Holea, I'm looking at you! So far it's just in my nose/throat so I'm pretending it has no impact on how I feel. Mind over matter, right? By mid-afternoon, though, I was starting to feel a bit slow & stupid. Argh. Sore throat quite a bit worse by end of the night, hence the tea, which didn't help the throat, but was delicious, at least.

Brain: Good things. Worked from home until tax firm meeting, ran a couple errands, then back to working from home with napping kitties, then my fabulous friends came over for a delicious supper.

I received a few gifts, too: a carton of farm-fresh eggs, package of pepitas, package of Osakis Meats bacon, coupon for one free room cleaning (!), and several bags of tea. And I heard a rumor there was more tea left at my desk...I am so spoiled.

Thursday, December 27

6a-2 fried eggs, c kraut, 3oz smoked chicken, c reg
7a-c reg w/ SF syrup, supps
745a-2c reg
945a-coconut flakes & Sunbutter, 2c decaf
1130a-personal training
1p-pork stew, supps
6p-salad w/ pepitas & vinegar, spaghetti squash w/ tomato sauce, 2 ribs, 2oz cashews, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Moderate carbs, moderate calories. Too snacky in eve...cashews bought for a recipe, and too irresistible.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-530a. 85% quality, woke a couple times but didn't get up, then woke naturally without alarm. Actually felt good getting up. Yay!

Body: Bottoms of both feet very tight upon waking. Digestion finally back on schedule, and feeling much better as a result. Session felt awesome, body felt fine afterward.

Brain: Feeling a bit anxious about workload. Was able to re-arrange things for all three jobs this week without much effort, but oh, January, how I fear you!

Gratitude: I forgot to finish my list of received xmas gifts.
-from the parents: cleaning help, moving help, bathroom fancification (rugs, towels, shower curtain, etc), a freshly-painted bedroom, kitten-a-day calendar, night light, sweet poem, fuzzy blanket, coffee syrup (sugar-free Brown Sugar Cinnamon, which is bomb dig), and I feel like there was something else in the "stocking" bag...but for sure I must mention the loan that enabled us to buy our new house.
-from the in-laws: moving help, Fleet gift cards, yummy-smelling bath stuff.
-from brother Brian: moving help & a fancy veggie serving dish.
-from aunt Nancy: cleaning help (she painted our bedroom) & moving help.
-from Heather: cleaning help & moving help by way of Lars.
-from cousin Mark: moving help.
-from Holea: a nice card & the promise of a handmade (!) scarf.
-from TS: dip crock & dip mix & the usual calendar.
-from my husband: an amazing amount of patience through this whole stressful moving adventure.

  I am so very appreciative of all the incredible people in my life.

Wednesday, December 26

Good god, this is my 700th post. Are you really reading this nonsense regularly? WHY?

5a-c reg
630a-taught class (did warm-up w/o jumps)
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-coconut flakes & Sunbutter, 2c senna tea
12p-personal training
130p-can tuna, Larabar
3p-2c herbal tea
6p-salad w/ pepitas & oil & vinegar, 2 ribs, micro cake, 2c decaf w/ T coconut oil, supps
Throughout day-3.25 quarts water
Moderate calories, moderate carbs. It was easy to skip breakfast (no time), and I regained some willpower after seeing the numbers from the weekend (which you can view here).

Sleep: In bed 7.75 hours, 9p-445a. Decent quantity, but only 56% sleep quality; up at 1a for bathroom & drink of water, woke several times after that. Was quite angry at the alarm.

Body: Back hurt when flipping over, otherwise okay. Still effed-up digestion. I feel like a cow. And just junky in general. Session felt great, though low back got tight afterward. Digestive system cramping all night, was miserable.

Stretches x2 (1p after session, 730p).

Acne: Very small breakout. I can only point at the various deli meats Sunday/Monday. Too often they have junk added. BLARGH. Luckily, very small. But still, flavorless turkey is decidedly NOT worth it!

Brain: Appreciating normal work schedule. Calories were not all that bad given moving AND the holidays, but carbs were terribly high even on the days I thought I was doing okay. This contributed to me feeling like a cow today. Slammed water hardcore.

Also: stupid micro cakes, why can't I quit making them?! Should probably go back to a no micro cakes rule for a while. They aren't really that good anyway.

Tuesday, December 25

6a-2 eggs, 3oz turkey, c roasted cauliflower, T mustard, micro cake, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
715a-2c reg w/ T coconut milk
830a-3.15m run
915a-s turkey pepperoni chips & salsa, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk
1230p-4 ribs & 3oz smoked chicken w/ T BBQ sauce, salad w/ balsamic, sweet potato, 3c reg w/ 2oz coconut egg nog
3p-few bacon water chestnuts, few glasses DC
445-few more BWCs, bunch of pecan brittle dipped into coconut cream
7p-micro cake, 2c choco-senna tea w/ T coconut milk & T coconut oil, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
High-carb day due to the holiday. Poor excuse. Isn't a flat belly more important than homemade pecan brittle? Plus it made me very snacky when I got home. Ugh, stupid carbs.

Sleep: 6.75 hours in bed, 11p-545a. Semi-okay quality. I am not doing well on recovery this weekend at ALL. Still feeling depleted.

Body: Stiff low back in AM, likely due to yesterday's cleaning. Unhappy digestion again. I need better-quality sleep and better-quality nutrition.

Run felt fine, though I struggled to not walk. I was feeling less pure love for running and more obligation to Boston training. But I felt pretty triumphant afterward for not walking, and for running in the stupidly cold wind chills. Must remember those finish-line endorphins!

Brain: Meh to start (tired) but improved with successful run and Xmas at my parents'. Pretty tired by 6p though. Very ready to return to my normal routine.

Monday, December 24

430a-2 fried eggs, c kraut, 2oz pork roast, micro cake, 2 almond milk lattes, supps
7a-5 hours cleaning old house
1230p-salad w/ pepitas & oil & vinegar, cole slaw, pickles, micro cake, 2c decaf, can SF lemonade pop, supps
3p-bag pork jerky, bottle DC
315p-2 hours cleaning
7p-6oz assorted meats: ham, turkey, roast beef; c raw veg: grape tomatoes, celery, cauliflower, c reg
Throughout day-3 quarts water
Low-carb day.

Sleep: 7 hours in bed, not too great. Woke twice. VERY tired at 4p, 8p.

Body: Back hurt when flipping over in bed, plus felt like I had the start of a cold. Better when I got up, but feeling quite stiff. Left glute tight. All-day cleaning was exhausting. Digestive system angry again. Feeling very depleted.

Brain: Okay. Tired. Cleaning all day sucked ass. Supper at Hoppe family Xmas was fun.

Sunday, December 23

630a-2 fried eggs, 2c stir fry, 2oz pork roast, 2T mustard, micro cake, 2c reg
830a-3.4m run/walk
930a-2c reg
1230p-c cole slaw, .5c raw broccoli/baby carrots, 3oz turkey, 6oz ham
2p-2 glasses DP
730p-3oz turkey, c cole slaw & sweet pickles, c roasted cauliflower, micro cake, 2c cocoa tea, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low carb and somewhat low calorie to make up for moving weekend. More conscious of water intake today. Forgot supps til supper, though.

Sleep: In bed 8.5 hours, wow. Felt like I woke a lot, but sleep graph shows 100%!! Very tired about 4p.

Body: Good. Senna tea (& sleep, probably) did its magic in the morning so I felt much better. Less cow, more gazelle! Run was fine. Threw in walk/run cycle to test the shin differently, since that made it extra angry way back on that last run with Lisa.

Brain: Great! Good run. Calmer kitties. Family xmas lunch. Fun household shopping.Working computer/internet. Two more days off!

Saturday, December 22

6a-2 hot dogs, c cabbage, Larabar, 2c reg w/ stevia, supps
10a-s sunflower seeds
1p-roast pork w/ mustard & BBQ sauce, cole slaw, sweet pickles, 1.5 bottles DCP, 2c reg
3p-s pumpkin seeds
630p-roast pork w/ mustard, cole slaw, pickles, roasted cauliflower, can La Croix, micro cake, 4c choco-senna tea, supps
Throughout day: 2 quarts water
I aimed for low carbs but otherwise no clue where my calories are landing. Damn.

Sleep: 6.5 hours in bed, 11p-530a. Quality decent but UGH not enough.

Body: Digestion on strike but otherwise I feel great. No shin pain from yesterday's run!

Brain: Moving day is exhausting. How in the hell did we accumulate all this stuff - and how did it fit in our old house?

Friday, December 21

445a-slice ham, c cabbage, micro cake, c reg
615a-c reg
7a-2c reg w/ SF syrup
8a-Larabar, bottle DCP
1130a-20-min test run
115p-2 hot dogs, c kraut, T mustard, Larabar, s seeds
230p-2c decaf w/ SF syrup
330p-5 hours cleaning
6p-6oz roast pork w/T mustard, half bottle DCP
10p-s seeds, 2 hot dogs, c cabbage, T mustard
Throughout day-.5 quarts water (terrible)
Low-carb day. No supps, forgot/busy.

Sleep: 5.25 hours in bed, 1130p-445a. Worst sleep graph EVER.

Terrible quantity AND terrible quality. Ugh.

Body: Pretty damn good, test run went well. Tightness inside right ankle/Achilles about a mile in but didn't get worse and was gone when I stopped.

Brain: Tired and stressed most of day due to house-close waffling. Fucked up nutrition and water and everything poorly managed. But we closed YAAAAY! And then cleaned until past my bedtime. The whole day was just freaking exhausting. I'd rather run a marathon.

Thursday, December 20

6a-2 sl bacon, c cabbage, micro cake, c reg
730a-c reg w/ stevia
915a-Americano w/ SF syrup, coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
1030a-2c decaf
12p-personal training
115p-can tuna, 2 banana bread muffins
7p-4oz plain chicken, c broccoli, c iceberg w couple cukes & baby carrots, 3c reg
1015p-micro cake, 3 banana bread muffins
Throughout day-2 quarts water
High-carb day, put them after lifting only. Supposed to be moderate, but massive house stress promoted a late snack that was all carbs. It's dumb, but, well, it happens.

Supplement-free day. Mostly because I forgot until I was about to walk out the door but also because I feel like it can't hurt to skip now & then.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 915p-545a. Woke at 3a, in/out after that. Woke naturally but feel a bit tired. Stretches at PT.
Body: Feels great! Stretches at PT only (effed-up day). Pulls in session: 12 (PR!), 10, 7 (w/ kips: 9/3, 8/2, 5/2). Also did 4 kips in eve.

Brain: A roller-coaster-of-emotions day. Mostly good, but for all-day house stress.
  • Physical therapy: I am cleared to try running this weekend!
  • NSS: Pull-up PR!
  • Interview: Awesome!
  • Humane society delivery: Warm fuzzies!
  • Xmas party: Fun!
  • Old house: Rented! To family!
  • New house: HUGE all-day drama over whether we could close tomorrow: exhausting. The day did end with a sliver of hope, but just a sliver. is good.

Sabrina is as happy as any of the left 3 piggies...not so much the poor little piglet in pink!

Wednesday, December 19

5a-c reg
545a-c reg w/ stevia, supps
630a-taught class (warm-up w/o jumps), then did pulls
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
830a-c reg
1145p-leftover deviled egg, salad (iceberg, tomatoes, black olives, pico, salsa), 6oz chicken breast, 3c reg, few sunflower seeds, supps
3p-2c mint tea w/ .5T coconut oil
6p-s fish, s carnitas, sl ham, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low-carb, low-calorie, half-fasted rest day. Banks me some calories for the weekend. I think I'll be fine with the two moving-based days: no time to be snacky, planned meals are low-carb, etc, and my one holiday meal on Sunday is in a restaurant, which will be strictly meat & veg.

Sleep: In bed 7.5 hours, 915p-445a. Pretty damned solid!

Body: Slight shin weirdness in AM, went away later; everything else feels pretty fantastic.

I've reached a new body comp milestone: bras don't fit very well...if only we could choose where the fat comes from! Plus, yesterday while training, I stole a glance at Joy's middle and thought, "Hm, that's about how I look. And she looks pretty damned great, therefore I must not look as terrible as I think I do!" I also posed in front of the mirror this morning and focused on how nice my butt looks, because I didn't notice the belly so much. Excellent.

Stretches x3: 745am, 130p, 8p. Pull-ups after class: 6, 6, 6, 5/1, /4.

Brain: Good! Busy workday, LAPW lunch meeting, got another Xmas gift, someone looked at our house in the eve...which turned out to be my cousin, and he wants it next month. Yaaaaay!!

Xmas gift: variety pack of really good tea & a jar of really good coconut oil. From Joy. Who else?!


The Big Payoff isn't out there somewhere: it's all around us as the total of all the little payoffs.
-Dr Herbert J Freudenberger, Burn Out, The High Cost of High Achievement: What It Is and How to Survive It

Tuesday, December 18

530a-slice ham, c cabbage, PB2 micro cake, 2c reg w/ cinnamon, supps
7a-c reg
730a-3 deviled eggs, 1.5c decaf
830a-2c Americano w/ SF syrup
10a-Larabar, 2c reg, can DC
1130a-med apple, .5c raw veg, 3 deviled eggs
3p-personal training
415p-.5s sunflower seeds
5p-buttercup protein pancakes w/ SF syrup, .5c buttercup squash, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-3.5 quarts water
High-carb day. Team potluck morning so snacked far more than normal - justified by poor sleep. May fast tomorrow morning to balance calories.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-515a but poor quality: was dozing in/out 1-330a. Right ear was hurting a bunch.

Body: Very good. Still tightness in left glute, but milder than yesterday. Session felt cake.

Stretches x3: 7a, 1p, 8p. Chins in session 10/1, 7/1, 6/1.

Brain: Busy work day. Have first interview (in-house version of the phone interview) on Thursday. Eep!


First of all, how am I still sane?

Second of all, if November/December correlates to April/May then there is zero need to worry about Boston!

Monday, December 17

445a-egg white omelet w/ salsa, slice ham w/ T BBQ sauce, c reg, supps
6a-c reg
8a-2c reg
9a-2c decaf
945a-coconut flakes & Sunbutter, can DCC
145p-can tuna, 2c stir fry w/ balsamic, 2c decaf, supps
3p-3 bacon-wrapped dates (candy! from Heather!)
630p-.5s seeds, salad w/ half avocado & pepitas & vinegar, PB2 micro cake, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Moderate-carb day.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a. Solid except for last half hour, in/out. Felt rested.

Body: Good but kind of lethargic / overall blahness physically, took a full rest day. Weird tightness in deep left glute.

Stretches x3: 6a, 1p, 8p.

Brain Good. Very busy work day. Turned in my application & resume for the lead position. Eep!

Sunday, December 16

630a-2 sl bacon w/ egg white scramble, crepes*, 2c reg, supps
830a-2c reg
1030a-c roasted squash seeds
130p-fried egg, slab o' ham, protein/fat micro cake, 2c decaf, supps
615p-salad w/ half avocado & pepitas & vinegar, carnitas, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low-carb day. I ate up my week's limit yesterday, but I was craving a salad for supper big time. And it was delicious!

*Crepe experiment: egg whites, vanilla protein powder, maple extract, PB2. Didn't turn out too great, but topped w/ 2T Sunbutter, they were redeemed.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 10p-6a. Pretty solid, woke naturally feeling good and rested.

Body: Again shin weirdness in the AM, super mild, but there. Maybe it is just the tingles of recovery?

Stretches x3 730a, 2p, 730p.

I had zero interest in pull-ups today, so I was going to take a full rest day - then Hop called me in to see the CrossFit competition so I was inspired to knock 'em out. Pretty tough today - yesterday's carbs? 6, 5/1, 4,4.

Brain: Great! Long lazy breakfast that included almost-pancakes. NOM.

Packing extravaganza, very productive, but very draining.

Food prep: stir fry (bok choy, Brussels sprouts, turnips, radicchio, dandelion greens, kale, carrots, & horseradish spice mix); buttercup squash; spaghetti squash; cabbage cooked in bacon grease. Have salads yet from last week, have tuna for my protein, have [nitrate-free grass-fed beef] hot dogs thawed, have egg whites for omelets.

I literally plotted out every meal for this week to make sure I wouldn't have to cook anything until Saturday since nearly all of my kitchen is packed up.

Saturday, December 15

715a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, c kraut, s carnitas, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
9a-2c reg
1130a-basement lifting for the last time in this house!
1245p-salad w/ pepitas & oil & vinegar, steak w/ potatoes & carrots, micro cake, 2c reg, supps
6p-3oz ham, c roasted (charred) cauliflower, c steamed cabbage w/ bacon pieces, .5c candied squash*, micro cake, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
High carb day, all after lifting. Three big satisfying meals.

*Recipe found here. Modifications due to half-packed house: used "leftover" ham juices in place of almond milk, no nutmeg or vanilla extract, extra cinnamon. The syrup/protein combo was, of course, fantastic.

Sleep: 9! hours in bed, 10p-7a. Wide awake about 230-330a, can blame most of that on the snoring husband, who I heard through my ear pugs! Up for b/r, drink of water, finally fell back after I woke him up and made him flip over. I don't know why I feel badly doing that; why is it okay to let him keep me awake, but not okay to wake him up for two minutes so we can both sleep? Foolish.

Body: Feel good and rested. Both calves/Achilles felt tight. Again a slight off-ness in my right shin in early AM. Trusting in James...

Stretches x3: 830a, 2p, 8p. Pull-ups in workout 6, 6, 5/1, 5/1, /4 (/ = kipped). Lifting felt excellent, was focused on form but had to battle urge to go heavy since I felt so good. I didn't want to burn myself up, lots of work to do this weekend, want to keep feeling good & energetic.

Seeing more great body comp progress in legs!

Brain: Good. Productive.

Friday, December 14

545a-fried egg, c kraut, 2 sl bacon, c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
7a-c reg w/ T coconut milk
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
1030a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, 2c decaf w/ stevia
2p-can tuna, can DCC, supps
715p-cauliflower mash
8p-1/4 s seeds, 2c decaf w/ 2 T coconut milk
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low carbs, low calories. Hit it hard so the weekend could be moderate.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a. Wide awake 4a but able to doze somewhat.

Body: Considering yesterday's max deadlifts: freaking awesome. But right shin gave some weird feelings this morning. Not thinking about it, since that will only lead to !PANIC!

Stretches x2, 7a, 1p, forgot in eve. Pull-ups in AM, 5x4, then 5 dead-hang kips later on. (I created my own 20-pull-up program.)

Brain: Good! Nice productive day of work, Team Lead position posted (I feel like it reads as though it were written specifically for me...eep!), house progress made, some relief-filled financial news, long but fun eve at NSS. When I finally got home, I vegged in front of the TV with the kitties until I got sleepy, which for me was LATE: to bed at 10p, omigosh.

Had a nice moment when I struggled into my jeans this morning. This pair is too tight pretty much all over: hard to get over the legs, muffin top at the waist, etc; once upon a time, they did fit well...which typically leads me to being depressed at how poorly they fit now. BUT today's thought was: "Seriously, these jeans are just not made for a lifter's body." YEAH! Happiness with my butt overruled unhappiness with my belly, for once!

Thursday, December 13

445a-fried egg, 2 sl bacon, c kraut, 2 sl GF toast, micro cake, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
630a-c reg w/ T coconut milk
830a-2c half-caff
930a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
12p-personal training
130p-can tuna, banana bread muffin, med apple, supps
630p-salad w/ pepitas & oil & vinegar, s carnitas, 2c deacf w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Moderate carb day, higher calorie day.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a. Woke up completely at 2a, but fell back; felt like I was dozing most of the final hour, but got up feeling pretty rested. Maybe the body doesn't always need 8 hours?

I've decided this: I'm going to just keep going to bed at 9p, and whenever I wake up, that's exactly the amount of sleep that my body needed. (Unless it's like 1a, in which case I WILL be going back to sleep.)

Body: Great! Hams feel MUCH better than yesterday. Deadlifts went awesome, not even bothered by the failed 225. It's now on my plan for 12/31!

PT update: add SL calf raises on unstable surface; add Prowler work (yay!); come back next Thursday, and then we'll talk about running...double yay!

Streches x2: 8a PT session, (spaced them PWO), 7p. Pulls in session: 2x14.

Brain: Doing well.

Long lazy big pre-deadlift breakfast, but also packed up a box to feel somewhat productive.

PT session was positive.

While I was cranky when I got to my desk yesterday, today was the exact opposite: showed up to a gift from Lisa: Caribou K-cups! PERFECT gift, only one of my besties would know to get me this! Love that girl.

I decided I'm going to keep a tally of gifts so that I remember I am loved (this is in the order received): fist-bump from Holea; Caribou K-cups from Lisa; silly homemade e-card from Teresa.

I invited a bunch of friends over to see my NEW HOUSE on the 28th...and I'm so excited to show it off, half-unpacked boxes and all. I am thinking about it constantly, the opportunities to use the space, mostly. I've already got the basement stocked with a squat rack, free weights, pull-up bar, Bowflex - and a scrapbooking know, all of the typical girlie stuff!

Someone will always be "better" than you at something, but it doesn't matter. Be inspired by them, using it to push yourself further, and nothing more.

DON'T compare your haves to their haves. It only leads a negative mindset. Rock your individual talents like a boss and let what makes you unique shine.

-Rog Law

Wednesday, December 12

5a-carnitas, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk
545a-c reg w/ stevia, supps
630a-taught class (did warmup only)
7a-randomness (pulls, Rog Law's glute work, stretches)
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-1 Reese's Pieces (Piece?), 2c decaf w/ stevia
1045a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
1245p-mobiliquicky (foam roller/stretches)
115p-can tuna, .5oz almonds, supps
6p-Prowler hour!
745p-s fish, supps
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Low carb, low calories, 5 small meals. Decided to go balls-out for one day, and I'll eat more tomorrow on deadlift day. Ignored my usual eating times and waited until I was hungry, a good reminder that much of our eating is purely habit-based.

Sleep: In bed 7.75 hours, 9p-445a. Woke at 3 and was awake for a while, dozing in/out til 5. Grr.

Body: Hams & glutes are tight, rest feels fine. But I swear to god my feet are growing. In the past week, every single pair of shoes has felt too small. If I could afford to go shopping for new ones, I absolutely would. What the eff?

Digestive system has been mildly messed up the past few days. Trying to cut back my supplements, sleep has been poor, I guess that makes sense. Might also be why yesterday's measurements weren't awesome. Annoying.

Changed up my standing today: put my tuna case in the way, so I alternate between putting a foot up on it, other foot, no feet, just trying to condition myself to get weight on heels/butt back, rather than leaning forward with poor posture. Also put down a tennis ball, playing with that now & then.

Prowler pushes felt great, first 5 wasn't thinking but the 10 after that were with nice flat feet & more of a heel push. Easy, felt like I could have done them all day!

Stretches x3, 715a, 1245p, 8p. Pulls after class, w2d3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 7.

Brain: A bit tired but was doing fine until I got to my desk. I then started to feel as if I'd gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Just impatient and easily annoyed, fairly instantly. No idea what triggered it. Could have been the email about the 12k "run of the century" at 12:12pm, I guess. It made me wonder if NSS will organize another New Year's Day run, and if so, will I even be able to do it. Sad.

Tried to resolve it by fetching a (free!) coffee & tried a new flavor, Almond JOY - not 1/8 as awesome as my friend Joy, but it was tasty enough.

Later on I got the go ahead from James to push the Prowler, and that  made my day. Until actual Prowler Hour made my day - great fun!

Also, my facebook highlights of 2012 are awesome. I could watch my 225# deadlift all day long!!/yearinreview/sabrina.m.hoppe

Read This: Johnny B Truant

Long, but so worth it:
You are here now. Eventually, you will be gone. You have but a nanosecond on the universal clock to do whatever it is you’re going to do. When that time is gone, it’s gone. Forever.
That means that although what you do doesn’t matter to the universe, it should matter one hell of a lot to YOU.

In fact, it should matter to you more than it currently does. If you knew how small you are and how short a time you have to do what you can, you wouldn’t waste time watching five fucking hours of TV a day. You wouldn’t waste time doing a job you hate. You wouldn’t waste the little time you have dealing with assholes, feeling sorry for yourself, or being timid about the things you’d really like to do.

I am kind of in love with this guy!

Go now:

Tuesday, December 11

315a-2 fried eggs, pork breakfast sausage, c kraut, 2 sl GF toast, 2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
6a-2c decaf w/ stevia
7a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, 2c reg
8a-2c decaf
945a-oz almonds
12p-personal training
130p-can tuna, micro cake, banana bread muffin, supps
7p-carnitas, cabbage, few raw baby sweet peppers w/ salsa, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk, supps
Throughout day-3 quarts water
High-carb day.

NCP meeting with Steve. New target: 1600-calorie average. Continue carb cycling. It's crunch time, bitches!

He did not give me any measurement updates which I took to mean: nothing good. But I honestly don’t care because I can see visible changes, mostly in arms and legs - but even some belly, though that one is certainly subtle. (Stupid belly!) Plus I have felt good and performance has stayed high so all of that makes me quite happy, as it should.

And that is exactly why I don’t want to see any data – just yesterday I would have been giddy with my results, but today’s numbers probably would have made me cry. And what's the difference? NOTHING.

How do I look, feel, and perform? Great! What do the numbers say? I dunno. Ask Steve.

Sleep: 6 hours in bed, 9p-3a. Took a while to fall asleep, solid until I woke at 2 or so, couldn't fall back; up for bathroom and drink of water, back to bed...and wide effing awake. Got up when I started feeling hungry. UGH. I drank a lot of caffeine yesterday morning because I was chilly. And stupid, apparently.

Body: Feeling good. Feet are sore again and hams are tight, likely from yesterday's 210 swings.

Stretches x3: 6a, 130p, 8p. Chins in session.

Brain: Fine. Annoyed at the poor sleep but I know I can hack it.

For something to do at 4a, and to counteract my feeling hurt that no one on my team thanked me for yesterday's treats (and that hardly anyone ever does, and since I can't afford it anymore, that was most likely the last time) I composed holiday emails for everyone on the team. That made me feel better. Like I have a kind soul, even if it is a whiny one.

Also, the whining did get me a belated birthday gift from the Fun Squad today. Starting to feel appreciated again!

Monday, December 10

5a-fried egg, pork breakfast sausage, cabbage cooked in carnitas juices, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
7a-c reg
8a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-2c half-caff
945a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
11a-2c reg w/ stevia
12p-pulls & swings
145p-fish & stir fry, bag bacon jerky, supps
6p-salad w/ vinegar & salsa, 4 bacon-wrapped artichoke hearts, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut milk (forgot supps)
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low-carb day.

Numbers updated on NCP post.

I went for a piece of gum today after the bacon jerky. And discovered soy lecithin on the label. GD soy is in GD everything.

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 9p-5a. Pretty solid.

Body: Again bottoms of feet hurt when I got up, all else fine. Sorta feel like I am getting a cold, not sure. Especially noticeable during swings, the nose was drippy and the deep breaths made me want to sneeze.

Stretches x3 (7a, 130p, 8p). Pull-ups within noon workout, w2d2: 4, 4, 3, 4, 6 - 90s rest b/w sets. Also practiced pulls w/ muscle-up grip (after swings).

Brain: Doing well. Eliminated a dose of stress by canceling my class yesterday already, so that I (a) didn't have to worry about getting out the door super early in case the roads were awful; (b) could take my time driving; (c) got to sleep in!

Work was nuts, though. Feeling overwhelmed.

Mitigated by a silent night at home. Read. Hop read. No TV! Makes my brain very happy to have that kind of respite.

Don't postpone your happiness.
Use every day as an opportunity to milk as much awesomeness as you can from the sweet teat of life!
The stress and bills will always be there, but one day you won't.
-Rog Law

No such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as down time.
All you got is life time.
-Henry Rollins

My word of the day today was "Live" - serendipity!

Sunday, December 9

530a-2 sl PB2 French toast w/ SF syrup, breakfast sausage, 2c reg, supps
745a-oz carnitas, 2c reg
830a-basement lifting
930a-micro cake w SF syrup, 2c decaf
1p-3oz carnitas, oz carnitas wrapped inside failed crepe attempt, fruit bar, can La Croix, supps
6p-salad w/ balsamic, carnitas bones, 3 bacon-wrapped artichoke hearts, micro cake, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

High-carb day. Low-fat day. No real cravings either way, finally just normal.

Though I did want to keep eating the carnitas. Best. At supper time, I literally just ate whatever bits of the bones I could. Won't see that on most food logs!

Sleep: In bed 8 hours, 9p-5a. In/out for the final hour, though pretty solid until then. Wish I could sleep in, though. Couldn't be very productive while the hubster was still sleeping.

The urge for a nap hit me hard at 230p. I took it! Got a solid cycle in, snuggled up with Ocar, 245p-4p.

Body: Feels quite great. Workout was exactly the right mix; pull-up fun, bit of front squat form work, and low-rep heavy deadlifts. The 195x1 may even have been a basement PR, and it felt pretty easy - to the point where I triple-checked the math! You just can't buy that kind of happiness.

Stretches 7a, 1p, 8p. Pulls within workout, w2d1: 5, 4, 3, 4, 5.

Spent half the day in sports bra & sweats...that is a sign that even *I* am seeing belly-fat-loss progress. Yay!

Brain: Fine. Such a good workout nice & early gave the whole day a solid boost. Packed a bunch, tossed a bunch.

I think if more people cared less about miniscule details and over-analyzing, and instead shifted their focus to to being a little more relaxed with themselves, they'd see more things fall into place for them. Doing this, they set themselves onto a road of self-acceptance, and a less stressful, more pleasantly lived life.

Sometimes when we try to perfect ourselves too much, we wind up seeing problems that don't exist, magnifying imperfections, and developing a constant sense of worthlessness. It makes us feel that we will never be truly happy unless we are perfect.

Well, humanity is imperfect. Nothing in this world will ever be perfect, and the sooner that is realized, the sooner balance can be established. Then when you look back, you see what you had been missing out on the whole time you spent worrying about things that didn't matter half as much as you thought they did before.
-Christine Beauchamp
Oh, so apparently she's been stalking me? Too often this is exactly me, I think. I get into the details because I love them, but...they don't always love me.

Recipe: Hoppe Breakfast Sausage Spice Mix

1 Tablespoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons dried sage
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
3/4 teaspoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon dried marjoram
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon cayenne

Enough to flavor about 3 lbs ground meat; I usually hit up 2 lbs max because I prefer a more intense flavor. I love it on pork, and have also done a venison/pork combo. Patty it up, or sprinkle over loose burger if you're lazy like I am.

Speaking of loose, the spice combo is pretty flexible. Tweak to your own preferences. I mis-read and only used a teaspoon of salt the first few times. Want more cayenne? Got fresh thyme? Sugar de-toxing? Play with it!

Just don't forget this one thing: enjoy the stray crispy browned bits, the top benefit of being the cook. NOM NOM NOM!

Smart people, like my friend Joy, will mix up an extra-large batch so it's ready to use at any time. Not that it takes much effort to make, though. If I find it easy, anyone will.

A few lucky people received this as their Christmas gift from me. So if you loved it, now you know how to make it!

Full disclosure: recipe was adapted from this site...for rabbit meat. (Oh noooz, not bunnies!)

Saturday, December 8

5a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, micro cake w/ coconut butter, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk
7a-c reg w/ T coconut milk
11a-salad w/ TC guac & balsamic, 3oz round steak
1p-oz steak, 4T coconut butter, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk
415p-breakfast sausage sampling
6p-2 fried eggs, breakfast sausage, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Low-carb day. Also a supplement-free day, just to see if I noticed anything different.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a - though wide awake for the final hour. UGH again. I have had a lot of stress & caffeine in the past two days. Guess what I will limit in the next few?

Body: Feeling fine. Bottoms of feet were a bit achey when I got up but that's it. Was good enough to work out, but brain wasn't.

Stretches 6a, 1p, 9p. BW DL pullups w1d3: 4, 4, 4, 3, 5.

Brain: Doing okay. Spent early AM working on financials, moving funds to have the down payment ready. We will make it, but we will have no easy immediate cash reserves after doing so. Terribly anxious about that, but I'm trying to remember there ARE some tough-to-access savings stashes, or parents, don't get too freaked out. Silver lining: cutting spending as if it were my job!

Lots of packing done. Took enough breaks to keep from going insane. Threw out a bunch of stuff.

After my afternoon grocery run, I finally felt tired (but not sleepy), and my gumption all faded, so I caught up on TV shows. Made a bunch of food (meat: breakfast sausage, pork carnitas, beef roast). Took a long hot bath, and could have fallen asleep in there. Went to bed as early as a weeknight.

Friday, December 7

4a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, 2 sl GF bread, micro cake, 2c reg, supps
530a-2c reg
915a-Americano w/ SF syrup
1045a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter
1230p-can DCC
1p-can tuna, oz almonds, supps
215p-oz almonds
7p-fish & stir fry, bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, micro cake, 2c senna tea w/ T coconut milk, supps
830p-2T coconut butter
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Moderate carb day. Scheduled to be low, but not enough sleep, swapped days around a bit.

Sleep: 6.5 hours in bed, 9p-330a. It was solid, but not nearly enough. Ugh.

Body: Feels pretty good. Once again I was going to log a metcon-style workout at lunch (was thinking swings & pull-ups) but changed my mind. Low sleep, plus I suffered far too many mental breakdowns today for my body to handle any extra anything. Hopefully this weekend I'll take a packing break to love up my squat rack.

Stretches x3 (530a, 1230p, 8p). No pulls: no energy.

Brain: Up & down. And up & down and up & down. A serious roller-coaster day, and I have to spew it all out somewhere. Feel free to leave now.

I started out tired, but went to NSS bearing Christmas treats, so that was good (as always) until at the last minute I found a massive error I couldn't figure out, then went into panic! mode! Left (late) for TS very agitated, drove past a runner, and then I just started bawling unexpectedly. Non-stop big heaving sobs, the kind where I should have pulled over. I kept saying "Stop it stop it stop it," and guess what...that doesn't work at all!

I did start to recover a bit at the stop light, but then I saw yet another runner, somehow the same chick I saw yesterday morning (so this bitch gets to run consecutive days?!), and BOOM the tears flowed again. Sat in my car in the parking lot to recover, then headed straight down to the Well to fix my makeup. Awesomely, Dustin came in right behind me. I must have looked acceptable, though, he didn't look shocked by my appearance or anything.

To purge all that shit and start over fresh, I delivered homemade Christmas gifts (a delicious breakfast-sausage-spice mix) to my besties, fetched me a (free!) Americano, and finally I actually began working at 930am, feeling good. But immediately started fighting with technology. Stupid things happening, weird senseless unexplainable problems.

I also felt half-sick all day about the NSS issue, though I tried hard to focus on TS. Somehow I survived and managed to get out of there before 230p (thus only a 44-hour week!) - and went back to NSS. Soon found the error that had prompted the morning's panic attack. WHEW! Spent more time there than I intended, but made progress on the software conversion with Dustin. Even heard from mom that she is dropping off my birthday gift this weekend. They didn't forget about me! Things are going good!

And then...I watched Dustin, Mike, & Jason head out for a short run. Tears came back. A little while later, made it home, and I was doing better, venting about the fucked-up day to Hop, even laughing at my stupid emotional over-reactions, feeling okay again...until he said, "Maybe you need to find a new hobby." Knife to my heart. I immediately went to the bathroom and bawled (#3 for the day? #4?). After I recovered I told him that he could never say that again. And got no apology. No anything. Dead silence. All night.



The weird thing is, I haven't been thinking about running all that much, and before today I was doing really well in keeping my attitude up. But somehow, seeing that running chica this morning, right after the NSS issue had sent me spiraling, was just the last straw on top of my massive pile o' stressors and I simply could not handle it. And even after I'd climb back up out of the drops, I couldn't maintain any emotional strength. Zero perspective. I felt like an utter disaster all day.


Sure feels apt this week.

Thursday, December 6

5a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, 2 sl GF toast, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
6a-2c reg
9a-2c reg w/ SF syrup
930a-1.5oz almonds, 2c reg
12p-personal training
130p-can tuna, oz almonds, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer (forgot supps)
3p-can DCC
430p-oz almonds
7p-salad w/ TC guac & vinegar, 3oz pork roast, 2c herbal tea (forgot supps)
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Moderate-carb day.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, 9p-430a - but solid all the way through, never got up. Felt nicely well-rested.

Body: Real good. Tight lats/upper back/shoulders. Tuesday's bench, maybe? Hams did not like foam roller.

BW pulls: w1d2 20-pull-up challenge in PM. PT stretches x3 (6a, PT appt, 730p)

Brain: BUSY. Got to be yet another very long day.

Wednesday, December 5

5a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
6a-c reg
630a-taught class (warmup only, no jumps)
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-2c half-caff
1030a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, can DC
1p-foam-rolling & stretching w/ Joy
130p-can tuna w/ 2T mustard, oz almonds, 2c decaf w/ T coconut creamer, supps
4p-oz almonds
730p-salad w/ pepitas & oil & vinegar, 3oz pork roast, 2c decaf, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water
Low-carb day.

Sleep 8.5 hours in bed, 815p-445a. Yes, I went to bed earlier than your children. What of it? Up at 2a for bathroom, woke a few times after that, but feeling well-rested.

Body: Good! Sore hammies, must be from squats. Sight bit of weirdness in hip flexors. Low back bugged a bit toward end of day...stress. Seeing bits and pieces of body comp progress, which is motivating. Mainly in legs in arms, tiniest bit in belly. Come on, belly!

Took a rest day; had planned a metcon-type workout but figured (a) that might not be smart on a mentally stressful day (b) given that stress, I should really save the body for tomorrow at NSS. So I met my JoyBuddy instead for stretching & the foam roller & we caught up a bit. Nice!

BW pulls, AM 6x4; PM 5x3. Stretches x3 (6am / 1pm / 8pm).

Brain: Okay.

Was doing better in the AM until Hop heard back from the dude who made us an offer on the house - he said his wife told him to pass on it. Crapsticks. Or is he just playing hardball? On the bright side, we did have someone look at it tonight who is interested in renting. And she LIKED my cats!

Feeling stressed today, but don't want to dwell on any of it, but need to vent a bit, so I am just going to make a list of things I could freak out over but won't and maybe it won't seem so bad and then maybe I'll be fine.

Here goes:
-month-end at TS this week
-tons of other work the rest of the month
-worrying about TS year-end in January, with a heavier work-load than usual year-end
-applying for promotion at TS which means resume creation and interview practice
-finding time to help with NSS project work before new year
-LAPW to-do list
-upcoming tax season at DBB
-not running for Six. Long. Weeks.
-Boston training starting a month later than planned, and from scratch mileage (assuming James even fixes me)
-packing up our house and moving
-selling or renting our house
-have several folks for whom I'd really love to buy little xmas gifts but can't because (see next line)
-spending as little money as possible
-eating for fat loss
-having a [small] acne reaction and no idea why
-desperately craving a long walk in the woods (this extended disconnect from nature is more painful than the not-running)
-not only did I not receive a birthday gift from my parents, I also realized that I didn't get one from the team Fun Squad
-yes, I'm too old to care about birthday gifts
-but I'm not too old to care about being cared about

Shit, that did NOT help. Now I just want to curl into a ball under my desk.

Tuesday, December 4

6a-2 fried eggs, 2s pork breakfast sauasge, Larabar, c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
7a-c reg w/ T coconut milk
745a-2c reg
930a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, 2c reg
12p-personal training
145p-can tuna w/ 2T mustard on 1.5 sl GF bread, med apple, 2c decaf w/ coconut creamer, supps
430p-oz almonds
630p-salad w/ vinegar, 2oz turkey w T BBQ sauce, banana bread muffin, 2c herbal tea, supps
Throughout day-3 quarts water

High-carb day; very little desire to eat them, but did so anyway. Fat was too high (high carb day should be a low fat day), but I had an unusual need for an afternoon snack (hi, work stress) and all I had were fat options. (Which is not true; I have two cases of tuna under my desk and could have eaten one of those for the same calories. But I forgot they were there - impressive, because I had tuna for lunch. There is now a can of tuna in the "snack" area for future stupid snacky times. This moment has been shared just to make you feel smarter.)

Trying a bit of an experiment this week: high-carb day = moderate-calorie day, and high-fat day = high-calorie day. See if that helps even out energy/sleep.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, 9p-545a. Up at 2a for bathroom, took a long while to fall back, but solid once I finally did. Sleep app buzzed (the alarm) after I rolled over at 540a. Pretty neat, but also felt like I could have slept longer. Feeling fairly rested.

Body: Decent. Session felt great, though front squats are not nearly as exciting as back squats.

No pulls, too tired/little time in eve. Did try a flexed-arm hang, made it 20s. Ow. Stretches x3 (after breakfast, after workout, after supper).

Brain: Decent. Busy with work. Long day; got home, ate, showered, went to bed very early.

Read This: Stumptuous

About fasting. And women. And how it usually doesn't work.

VERY interesting stuff, and incredibly well-written, as per usual.

Monday, December 3

445a-fried egg, chicken sausage, c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
545a-2c reg w/ T coconut milk
630a-taught class (only did warm-up w/o jumps)
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, 2c decaf
12p-fish, stir fry, oz almonds, 2c half-caff, supps
3p-oz almonds, 2c reg w/ stevia
6p-salad w/ vinegar, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk, supps
7p-c senna tea
Throughout day-3 quarts water
Low-carb AND low-cal day. Easily done on a Monday. Full of willpower, but also zero cravings to battle.

NCP summary post updated.

Sleep: 7.5 hours in bed, terrible quality. Up at 3a for bathroom, then woke constantly after that, 330, 4, 430.

Body: Feel like I may be getting a cold: coughing yesterday, sore throat today. Digestive system unhappy, likely due to poor sleep.

Felt shin when I got up but it went away. Kind of challenging to explain a pain that's no longer there to a doctor! James believes it comes down to tight heel cords. Prescribed serious step stretches (60s straight / 120s bent knee) three times per day; do front squats instead of back squats to work on mobility; go back Thursday morning and he will “overstretch” me; he figures going back once per week for about three weeks ought to do it.

All of which sounds totally doable & tolerable except for the last part: don’t plan on running, or even walking, for another three weeks. Three. Weeks.

BW pulls, AM 6x3; PM 6x3. Stretches x2.

Brain: Okay. Too busy with work to spare much time on my narcissism. Get to push one of my goals to next year; get to substitute a goal based on the new entity purchase, which means it's already "check done," which is a huge relief.

Didn't even get too emotional about James' verdict. If he's right, it's not that bad at all, nothing time/stretching can't fix, but still...three more weeks? So I get to start Boston training from practically zero, one week before tax season starts? GROSS. But I filed it in the "numb" file & moved forward.

Actually, when I first got in my car, I said to myself, in a rather Dustin-like voice, "There is no sense in getting all upset and worked up about this. No matter how I react, three weeks is three weeks. Might as well forget the tantrum and just accept it." I felt rather adult. Is this a sign of maturity, or is it just that I have so GD many stupid running injuries that even *I* have learned to deal with them on an even keel?

The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.
-George S. Patton

Sunday, December 2

3a-T coconut milk
815a-c reg
845a-2.32m walk
945a-fried egg, chicken sausage, fatty micro cake, c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
3p-2 venison dogs w/ c kraut, supps
530p-greens w/ half avocado, pepitas, oil & vinegar, c roasted cauliflower, 2c decaf tea, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low-carb day. Could have been moderate, but the low caloric total I had to hit (to hit 1800 average) had me limiting carbs. Both hunger and cravings well under control today, nice.

Sleep: In bed 11 hours, 9p-8a. Damn, eh? However, it took a while to fall asleep; woke hot/sweaty/gross at 3a (drink of water, ate bit of fat); also woke at 5a, 6a, finally felt wide awake when I woke at 8a.

I blame the 3am wake-up on the extra-large supper, even though it was almost carb-less. So it would seem any and every time I eat a large supper, over 600-ish calories, I am going to experience a blood sugar drop big enough to wake me up (and need to eat something) about 8 hours later. That is a level of sensitivity I could happily live without.

Body: Felt good when I got up, nothing in shin. Not too energetic but followed plan to walk before breakfast. Shin fine. At 1.8m I tried running and could feel right ankle (not shin). Went back to walking. Also, my shoes felt way narrow, was in super old fatties. Tried foam roller in eve and could feel pain about equal to Thursday at session. About an hour later, and immediately after a trip down/up stairs (5th or 5th of the day), the shin hurt off & on. The hell?

Rest day from pullups after yesterday's madness. Had planned to lift over the weekend but no desire either day. Let it go.

Small rebound: after writing this, I did log some BW pulls after all: 5x3.

Brain: Surprisingly tired and unmotivated all day; weird that the long night in bed didn't feel better. Minimal packing today, instead did my weekly chores, watched a bit of TV, and worked on my résumé - which was challenging. You may have noticed I struggle to talk about my accomplishments and strengths?

Saturday, December 1

530a-fried egg, chicken sausage, 3 cc stacks, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk, supps
8a-2c reg
1015a-5 cc stacks, 2c black tea, supps
2p-fried egg w/ mustard on GF toast, chicken sausage, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk
430p-3oz pork roast, bit of breakfast sausage
730p-.5c stir fry, giant pork chop, fatty hunk of ribs, micro cake, 2T coconut butter, supps
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Moderate carb day. Could have been high, but I was craving fats, not carbs.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 845p-515a. Mostly solid; woke when Hop got home at 2a, felt like I was in/out the whole time after that, but must have logged two more sleep cycles.

Got quite tired and unmotivated about 1p so I took a nap after my lunch. (That's the whole point of a weekend, isn't it?) Only 3-4p (due to a phone call) so not a full cycle - so I got up feeling crappy. No more energy.

Body: Feels good. Slight bit of shin pain, more like it was Thursday morning. No test run today. Didn't feel like lifting, either.

Hit my pull-up goal this morning: did FIVE 10-lb pullups just four weeks after I made that my goal!! And I did it TWICE. Question is, where do I go from here to boost BW reps: do I keep increasing reps at 10#, go heavier w/ fewer reps, or go back to BW? I guess if the goal is max reps, that means endurance, so I should work on endurance - not strength. Yet higher reps tend to start angering my elbows so maybe varying between BW & 10 is the way to go.

Just for fun, set today's pull-up goal at "As many as I can do throughout the day" although it fell off a cliff after my nap. Anyway, 10-lb weighted pulls: 5, 3, 4, 3, 3, 3, 5, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 4, 3, 2 = 50!!

Brain: Good. Little Miss Productivity today! Bills paid, boxes packed, nap taken, food made (fish, stir fry, breakfast sausage), anniversary celebrated (11 years ago today, I put the moves on Hop).

Friday, November 30

515a-pepperoni & egg white omelet, cc stack, c reg w/ T coconut milk, can DC, supps
7a-c reg
730a-2c reg w/ SF syrup
830a-c reg, can DC
1015a-c reg
12p-c carrots, c potatoes, 3oz chicken w/ olive oil & herbs, supps
1p-c decaf, can DC
245p-c decaf
430p-s sunflower seeds, 2c decaf w/ SF syrup
615p-6oz chicken w RoTel, 3oz pork roast w/ BBQ sauce, micro cake, piece SF candy, 4c coconut tea w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low carb day, although due to lunch it was actually moderate. Grr. Hungry much of the day, but tolerable. Cravings under control. Ate a big supper but was fine making it all about protein.

Sleep: In bed 8 hours, 9p-5a. Took a while to fall asleep, woke a couple times, but mostly solid. Felt fairly rested. No energy for a workout, but it was a rest day anyway.

Got extremely tired & zombie-like at 215p, though that also could have been the low calories, boring topic, sitting all day - take your pick. Seeds were a total necessity by that point, seriously concerned about the drive home. Still super effing tired at home after eating. No energy; went to bed very early. I would have taken a long hot bath but that seemed like far too much work.

Body: Shin is worse, could feel it while walking in AM; it improved slightly throughout the day, but not enough to give me hope. Sadface. Made a Monday appointment with James. Hip flexors are feeling perfectly normal, so there's something.

Happy: Wore snug jeans AND a snug shirt, and didn't hate looking in the mirror. Yay progress! Glutes and legs feel very solid.

10-lb weighted pulls, AM 3x3. PM 3x3. 

Brain: Let down by shin. Bored by tax update class. Excited by potential house buyer, even though he insulted my baby Oscar by calling him fat and ugly. How rude!! Price just went up for you, dude.

So very very tired by the time I got home that I skipped the mini party at Heather's. Felt guilty until I read this in my magazine: There are times when the person you most need to be kind to is yourself. This was one of those times.

Thursday, November 29

445a-3oz pork roast, sl egg bake, squash biscuit, c reg w/ T coconut milk, 2 cc stacks, supps
515a-c reg
615a-cc stack, 2c reg w/ T coconut milk
7a-Americano w/ SF syrup
9a-biscuit, cc stack, 2c decaf
1015a-oz almonds
12p-personal training
115p-chicken sausage, 2 biscuits, cc stack, supps
6p-6oz chicken w/ RoTel, salad w/ vinegar, 2c coconut tea, supps
7p-cc stack, 2c decaf w/ T coconut milk
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Moderate carb day. Super snacky at breakfast, justified by poor sleep. That needs to quit! Tomorrow is tax update class so I will be out of my usual eating element. Will use that to my advantage.

Sleep: 6.5 hours in bed, 10p-430a. In late due to supper at Amy's. Woke around 3 or so and dozed in/out until I gave up. Ugh. Feeling okay. Not great, not terrible. Quite tired on drive home, 5p. And kinda stupid, too. Better after supper.

Body: Heel bottoms hurt when I first got up. All else is fine, maybe a bit of all-over fatigue. Don't feel anything in the shin while moving. Sat at desk anyway. Afternoon at NSS, so more sitting.

Session felt great. Strong. Could feel shin a tiny bit in Prowler push, but if I shortened my step somewhat (lifting before full extension) then it didn't hurt.

Brain: Starting to worry again that I have a black/white choice of being a thin non-runner or a fat runner, that dieting means my injuries will never heal. Because while I am beginning to understand the difficulty (or perhaps downright impossibility) of losing fat while marathon training - at this point I'm not even remotely training for a marathon. I'm not running at all. My calories are not that low. Yet 30 seconds of hopping aggravated the shin?! What the eff am I supposed to do? Anyway, I am doing my best to keep my brain from running willy-nilly down this dark alley...but it's hard not to worry.

Wednesday, November 28

445a-spinach & egg white omelet w/ salsa, chicken sausage, chocolate coconut stack, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
545a-c reg
630a-taught class (warm-up, suitcase carry, farmer's walk)
745a-2c reg
8a-2c half-caff
930a-oz almonds
10a-2c decaf w/ splash coconut creamer
12p-6 slices deli meat, 2T mustard, 5 tomato slices, 10 pickle slices, 2 lettuce leaves (roughly), can DC, 2c reg
130p-oz almonds, supps
4p-.5oz almonds
7p-3 bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, .25c green beans, c potatoes w/ olive oil (no supps)
Throughout day-3 quarts water
Low carb day, except I didn't skip the potatoes at Amy's.

Sleep: 6.75 hours in bed, 945p-430a. Friends stayed until 9, far too late. Woke at 3, little dose of h/s/g but mild and fell back quickly. Not enough, but feel okay.

Body: Feeling yesterday's squats, backside a little tight in class warm-up; right hip flexor also super tight & weird, felt it in initial squats in class warm-up, but as I moved & fixed form it went away. Slightest tightness in ankle when I tried jumping jacks in class warm-up, so I stopped. Thinking that I may start my weekend mileage test with a walk on Friday at lunch.

10-lb weighted pulls, AM 3, 2, 2. 15-lb during class 1x4, during mobility 1x3.

Logged a quick mobility session at the end of the day, just something to get moving and get my pulls in. Shin was painful on foam roller, much worse than it was Tuesday before session. Ack!

Brain: Excellent. Free lunch with the team, Jill & Joani, for the award we won this year. Then a belated birthday supper at Amy's!

Restaurant victory: I was a smarter food-allergen-having customer today. I called Arrowwood to ask about our menu before we went. Learned it was a salad/sandwich bar - perfect! Except: the three "salads" were pasta & potato salads and cottage cheese. BLARGH. So I ate "sandwiches" made of meat, lettuce, tomato, mustard, & pickle. Yeah, that was awesome. Whatever.

At least I've finally learned not to depend on the server to know what is in stuff (example: Saturday night's Fire Station server told me that the mashed potatoes had nothing in them...but they tasted like instant potatoes that were pre-buttered so I stopped after one tiny bite). Another victory: I am not reacting from that outing! I had scraped off the sauce on my ribs, but didn't avoid all of it. But I also didn't eat the skin of the broasted chicken. Perhaps that is what I reacted to last time? It didn't seem to be breaded, but it could have been lightly coated, and either way it was surely fried in oils that I can't tolerate. I really wanted to eat it, too. Few things are better than hot fried chicken skin!

Eliminated a stress: I was supposed to attend a Relay for Life summit on Saturday that I've been anxious about because it will kill the whole day - and I wasn't able to ditch out on TS to gain a free day because I'm already out Friday for a tax update class. And finally, since we move in three short weeks...I need my weekends free to pack. And pack. And PACK! So I backed out. And tried not to feel guilty, but I did.

List of reasons why the world needs you to be awesome:
1. Being awesome is life changing.
2. Once you level up your awesome, rarely will you return to lower levels of "kinda sorta" awesome. 
3. When people see you being awesome, they feel more inspired & determined to unlock their own awesomeness.  
4. Unicorns will be given to all of the awesome people at some point. Do you REALLY wanna be the only one of your friends NOT flying around on a mythical creature?
Please be awesome.
-Rog Law

Break out the awesomesauce and put on your awesomecape today, folks. I mean, did you see #4?! I need to get my unicorn!

Tuesday, November 27

5a-fried egg, c squash, chicken sausage, c reg w/ 2T coconut milk, supps
6a-chocolate coconut stack, c reg
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
915a-Uberbar, 2c reg
12p-personal training
130p-6oz chicken w/ RoTel, banana bread cookie, med apple, supps
645p-2s pork roast w/ carmelized bananas, 3 bacon squash biscuits, 3 chocolate coconut stacks, 4c decaf tea, supps
Throughout day-3 quarts water
High-carb day. Friends over for supper so all new recipe experiments. Pork was great; biscuits probably great if using sweet potato, squash didn't work very well; stacks are great, not all that sweet though, so probably a disappointment to them.

NCP: Since I didn't really stick to my goals last week (Thanksgiving was semi-okay, but my birthday was way off) my goals are almost exactly the same, only tweak being to average 1800 intake - a weekly average rather than a daily target, per my request, prefer having that bit of leeway for higher/lower days. We also spent a lot of time talking about prioritizing, and blocking off the brain from wasting energy on anything beside the current goal, that kind of stuff.

Basically, if I can keep my head right...I can nail all of this. And I know that, but no matter what I tell myself when I'm feeling good - I still don't know how to pull myself up out of my spirals.

Sleep: In bed 8 hours, 9p-5a. Took a while to fall asleep. Woke at 2a, fell back, woke at 4a, dozed til just before 5a. Feel rested.

Body: Feels great, though have tight hip flexors; left one felt a bit wonky in squats. Also tight shoulders, had a hard time zipping up my dress in AM. Could be the giant muscles from all these pulls, though! On a related note: was going to go with an updo today, but I can't have all those pins stabbing me in the head on bench day. Priorities, people!

Post session, could feel tightness in right ankle. Very mild. Nothing in shin.
10-lb weighted pulls, PM: 3, 2, 2.

Brain: Doing great. Here's a neat but not-at-all surprising thing I noticed last night - after I managed three sets of 3 weighted pulls last night, I felt SO STRONG, confident, downright powerful. It directly translated to a massive confidence boost as I thought about the lead position, packing & moving, managing the new house payment, renting out our place, training for Boston, Saturdays at the tax firm, everything that's colliding exploding on my calendar in the next few months - what was insurmountable a month ago suddenly felt like a challenge I was ready for.

I really require those moments to keep me going, and I can see that a total lack of them is a big part of why last year's tax season was such a drag: running injury developed, lifting had to take a backseat after the powerlifting meet high, I couldn't stick to my fat loss plans - nothing went well, so everything just fell apart. I have to find a way to keep creating these little moments of achievement.

Here's one: I managed a 155 back squat on Sunday in my basement. Not only is that a PR for my less-than-ideal basement setup, I looked back to see that was my squat weight in the powerlifting meet! And I did that with no spotter, because I was still confident I didn't need one - which means I could have attempted even more if I'd had that extra safety. Thank you, Dustin!!

Thinking a lot about the lead position. Not stressing, more thinking about getting my resume updated, talking to Amy about the interview process, pointers, things to work on.

I also took the Myers-Briggs test and came up with INFJ:
Introvert(44%) iNtuitive(12%) Feeling(12%) Judging(89%)

•You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (44%)
•You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
•You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%)
•You have strong preference of Judging over Perceiving (89%)

Read the profile of the type, career choices, leadership, all of which really just led me to want to read about Eleanor Roosevelt. Ha!

Monday, November 26

5a-c reg w/ stevia, supps
6a-c reg
630a-taught class (warm-up less jumps, demos of each move)
730a-2c reg
9a-2c reg
10a-coconut flakes & Sunbutter
1p-chicken w/ RoTel, oz almonds (forgot supps)
6p-salad w/ half avocado & vinegar, slice prime rib, supps
7p-samples of chocolate coconut stacks
Throughout day-3 quarts water
Low-carb day. Still feeling the need to make up for the birthday calories (3675!), so no breakfast.

Diet summary post updated.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 845p-5a. Woke at 4a, kind-of-almost h/s/g. Debated getting up but I had planned to skip breakfast and was still tired, so I flipped over and managed to fall right back. Yay! Alarm woke me, but I felt rested. Obnoxious: I actually had more calories at supper last night than I did on Saturday night. What gives?

Body: Shin is significantly improved. Feel nothing, basically. Tried a few jumps in class (jump squats, jump lunges, hops) which felt fine. Almost pestered Dustin for advice on whether I should go ahead & try a run today, but then I looked at my calendar and realized my next chance to run is the weekend, and I wouldn't GAIN anything by running today, but COULD potentially make it backslide, so I played with weights instead. And I did not call James. If there is any pain this weekend, I'll get in there next week.

Workout felt excellent. Solid. Feet were a little bit fat in afternoon, but could still see tendons.

10-lb weighted pulls: AM 1x4, PM 3x3. (In workout: 15-lb pulls 2x3, chins 2x3.)

Brain: In a good place.

Today we got word that Sandy's position is being posted internally. Part of me thinks, "Could I really truly handle this, and be GOOD at it, and if so, how would I manage the extra stress?" and part of me thinks, "I could learn whatever I need to learn. And the raise would surely be a giant piece of affording the new house!" But still, full of self-doubt, as always. On the bright side, Mary came in and said, "Please tell me you're going to apply." That's a good sign!

Speaking of the new house, I found another $100/month by canceling Accident and Group Critical Illness insurances. Can re-enroll in a year or two when it's affordable again. Or not, may be unnecessary. A sad budget-cutting is potentially Ploughshare. I might be able to swing the summer share, but will have to wait and see. Hop thinks we will plant a garden. A great idea, but will it actually happen?

Sunday, November 25

1a-Larabar, sip coconut milk
2a-turkey w/ mustard, NC
8a-2c reg, supps
9a-heavy singles
1130a-2c reg w/ stevia
1p-c black tea
2p-can Zevia
430p-salad w/ pepitas, turkey, oil and vinegar; 2 venison brats w/ c kraut; 2c coconut tea w/ T coconut milk; Uberbar; supps
6p-2 paleomg banana bread cookies (meh)
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low-carb day that I made into a half-fast day to make up somewhat for the birthday extravagances. Felt perfectly fine until I got hungry at 4p, so then I ate.

Sleep: 8.75 hours in bed, but 930p-1a and 245a-8a Up at 1, h/s/g blood sugar crash, ate fat. Could not fall back (monkey mind: how are we going to afford new house?!), so I got back up and ate protein. Responded to 70 birthday posts on FB. May not directly help sleep, but it helped the monkey mind. Woke when Hop's 615a hunting alarm went off, but fell right back and woke naturally at 8.

WTF is up with the mid-night waking? Supper was almost no carbs, not that high in calories, and micro cake was fat/protein based...frustrating.

Body: Shin/ankle quite a bit better. Other than time, the only changes would be higher calories, not having foam-rolled the area since Tuesday, very little standing. Hm. Hams tight. Workout was fantabulous: basement squat PR (I think) and a return to bench press PR. So very glad my body seems to enjoy heavy singles as much as my brain does.

10-lb weighted pulls: AM, 2x3; workout 1x12; afternoon: FOUR straight (goal is 5)!

Brain: Good! Busy productive day.

POTD: Gotta love The Oatmeal.

This is how you should begin each & every day.

Saturday, November 24

Happy birthday to ME!

330a-2 macaroons
6a-2 GF French toast w/ whipped coconut cream and SF syrup, chicken sausage, pumpkin pie, 2c reg, supps
7a-metabolic fun
8a-more pumpkin pie
930a-2c reg w/ 2T coconut milk
12p-Cobb salad w/ oil & vinegar, 3c decaf, supps
1p-Americano w/ SF syrup
4p-blueberry nut clusters, almond/coconut ball, 4 macaroons
7p-3 ribs, 2 pieces chicken, 2 diet pepsis, supps
830p-micro cake
Throughout day-2 quarts water
High-carb day. But also my birthday, so once again it became a high-everything day. Oh well, it only happens once per year, and I'll be back at it tomorrow.

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 930p-545a. Boo: woke at 330a, hot/sweaty/gross blood sugar crash, hit bathroom and drink of water and macaroons, took a while to fall aback. Yay: otherwise it was solid and woke naturally at 545a.

Body: Same, ankle shin annoyed but all else is great. Made workout a quick & "easy" one, since it's sandwiched between a heavy yesterday and a heavy tomorrow. Also because the legs/glutes were a little sore from yesterday's deadlifts. That makes me happy! Also makes me happy - pretty sure the last time I did this workout, about a year ago, I would have been using 10s at most. Straight 20s today. NICE.

Brain: Birthday goodness! Yummy meals, great day with Emma (her Xmas present, plus shopping for a Jingle Bells family), bill-paying (remember, I find that fun!), and time with the hubster.

Happy as this kitty:

Friday, November 23

545a-c reg w/ stevia, supps
630a-c reg
745a-Americano w/ SF syrup, 4 Reese's Pieces
9a-2c reg
12p-heavy singles
130p-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, oz almonds, c decaf pumpkin tea
230p-can DC, supps
530p-salad w/ pepitas, oil, vinegar, lemon tart, 2c decaf, supps
7p-raw veg, chicken, sl ham, 3 ribs, half sweet potato
Throughout day-2 quarts water

Low-carb day. Also some AM fasting to help make up for Wed/Thurs overeating* and in anticipation of eve Thanksgiving at the in-laws'. I was freezing effing cold at 4p, but I was also at NSS so I am not sure which to blame...maybe both. Anyway, I did kind of want to eat breakfast, not because I was hungry, just because I love breakfast food. Wasn't too hard to focus on my goals and skip. But by the end of the day I was tired and cold and powerless.

*Surprisingly, my calories did not go all that crazy for the holiday: 2200 Wednesday, 2350 Thursday. Higher than 1800, yes, but not all that wild. So I'm happy to report that I am not beating myself up at all, just trying to prevent all-out goal-derailment.

Sleep: 8.5 hours in bed, 9p-530a, and solid. Yes!!

Body: Other than shin/ankle, feeling damn good. Tried James, offices closed, will call on Monday. If two weeks of rest haven't fixed this thing, something else is wrong. Right?

Lifting felt awesome. Never once thought about being fasted, everything went just as expected, other than I was hoping for a 225# deadlift, and didn't expect the 70# press. Balance!

Really totally shot by the end of the day. Deadlifts?

Brain: A productive work day, fun times with family, no complaints.

Thursday, November 22

530a-fried egg, chicken sausage, c kraut, sl egg bake, c reg w/ T creamer, supps
6a-much sampling: walnuts; bacon-wrapped dates, chestnuts; lemon tart filling; pumpkin pie filling
8a-mini crust-less pumpkin pie
12p-turkey, prime rib, sweet potato, raw veg, pickled veg, cranberries, roasted cauliflower, bacon-wrapped chestnuts and dates, many c reg w/ coconut creamer, supps
6p-turkey, raw veg, lemon tart, pumpkin pie
730p-bit more lemon tart, supps
Throughout day: 2 quarts water

High carb day, though it was also pretty high fat. Didn't restrict anything at all. Oops. But Thanksgiving Day = bestest holiday, and the best food holiday, too! No dieting today meant I truly enjoyed every bit of it.

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 930p-515a. Fairly solid, woke once or twice but didn't need to get up. Nice!

Body: Shin/ankle the same. Think I may be calling James soon, this thing is just not recovering. Workout felt excellent.

Brain: Little tired first off, but after I got busy with the desserts and bacon, things brightened up. Family gathering was great, won often at cards, though not big money. Low key, easy, tasty, fun.

Bucket filled!

Wednesday, November 21

545a-oz walnuts, supps
6a-bag pork jerky, 2c reg
630a-taught class (warm-up w/o jumps only)
730a-Americano w/ SF syrup
930a-coconut flakes & Sunbutter, 4 Reese's Pieces, 2c decaf w/ stevia
1p-6oz chicken w/ RoTel, oz almonds, 1 macaroon, 3 Reese's Pieces, 2c half caff, supps
515p-.5oz walnuts, salad w/ pepitas, half avocado, oil & vinegar, supps
7p-sampled pie crust, tart crust, bacon-wrapped chestnuts & dates
Throughout day-2.5 quarts water
Low carb day.

Sleep: In bed 8.25 hours, 845p-5a. Up at 315a for bathroom, took a long while to fall back, but mostly dozing, not a monkey mind. Did manage to fall soundly back but was rudely woken by the alarm at 5a, ugh. Tired.

Body: Shin/ankle all tight yet, but the sharpness is back down to dull. Started the day feeling rather shot & debated a rest day, but class went so great (everyone smoked their bench press!) that I left feeling pretty jacked and planned to return at noon for some Fun With Weights.

By noon, though? Very tired, lethargic, feeling beat up, not at all interested in a workout...or anything besides a instead I ran errands to get a dose of sunshine.

10-lb weighted pulls, PM: 1x6. Too tired in AM.

Brain: Other than not wanting to be at work today, doing okay. Definitely smart to take a rest day based on the body, but the brain was missing those endorphins big time. By noon I was feeling VERY incredibly "I. Want. A. Nap." Did errands, then sat in car for a while to get more sunshine. Didn't help very much. Once inside, I trudged to fridge to get my lunch, and found a surprise in my drawer:

A birthday gift from my BeloveBuddy Joy.

LOVE that girl! Exactly the boost I needed. Was still tired as crap, but had a better attitude. And coffee helped the tiredness.

Also helped the attitude: deciding to leave early at 4, after I figured out I'd still have 40 hours in this week, though just barely. And that immediately made me feel guilty, which made me angry at myself, because WHY would I feel guilty logging "only" 40 hours - all of which made me even more determined to leave at 4!


Another happy point in the day: I locked in our mortgage rate at 3.25%. Hop's reply exactly sums it up: "Holy shit that's low!"

Tuesday, November 20

5a-fried egg, chicken sausage, c kraut, 2 sl GF toast, c reg w/ almond milk, supps
615a-c reg
930a-coconut flakes w/ Sunbutter, oz almonds, can Zevia
12p-personal training
130p-6oz chicken w/ RoTel, c roasted veg, grapefruit, supps
6p-egg white omelet w/ spinach & salsa, chicken sausage, 2 sl GF toast, 2c decaf w/ 2T coconut creamer, supps
7p-.5oz walnuts
Throughout day-3 quarts water

Moderate carb day, putting both of them on my Dustin days this week. Low carb days will sandwich high-carb Thanksgiving & my birthday...and those carbs I am definitely looking forward to. Thanksgiving: sweet potato, pumpkin pie, lemon tart. Birthday: pumpkin pancakes, sweet potato hash browns, French toast, breakfast for every meal - unless I can get the hubster to fit a meal out into his hunting schedule. Wishing I could go running to earn those carbs, but if not: heavy lifting will suffice. It always does!

Sleep: In bed 8.5 hours, 830p-5a. Up for bathroom at 130a, fell back quickly. Dozing for the last half hour or so, feel rested.

Body: Feeling good but for shin, and right bicep, which has actually been sore for a few days now, but so minor I keep forgetting about it.

Regularly having VERY minor headaches lately, that feel purely like dehydration & go away once I slam a little water (usually AM or PM). But if I bump up beyond 2 quarts, or drink basically any water after supper, I guarantee myself a mid-night bathroom visit. Hm.

Brain: Pretty good! House panic gone, now just least for now!

Ego-boosting quote:
I am kind of using you as my "model" on this because you are a quite small person, like me.
-from Shannon, a teensy tiny little nugget of a woman who could fit in my pocket (in regards to advice about the powerlifting meet, which I can't stop thinking about. Want. To. Go!!)